CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

[Illustration]

When they came to the signpost, there, to their joy, were the tents of

the Wizard pitched beside the path and the kettle bubbling merrily over

a fire. The Shaggy Man and Omby Amby were gathering firewood while Uncle

Henry and Aunt Em sat in their camp chairs talking with the Wizard.

They all ran forward to greet Dorothy, as she approached, and Aunt Em

exclaimed: "Goodness gracious, child! Where have you been?"

"You've played hookey the whole day," added the Shaggy Man,

reproachfully.

"Well, you see, I've been lost," explained the little girl, "and I've

tried awful hard to find the way back to you, but just couldn't do it."

"Did you wander in the forest all day?" asked Uncle Henry.

"You must be a'most starved!" said Aunt Em.

"No," said Dorothy, "I'm not hungry. I had a wheelbarrow and a piano for

breakfast, and lunched with a King."

"Ah!" exclaimed the Wizard, nodding with a bright smile. "So you've been

having adventures again."

"She's stark crazy!" cried Aunt Em. "Whoever heard of eating a

wheelbarrow?"

"It wasn't very big," said Dorothy; "and it had a zuzu wheel."

"And I ate the crumbs," added Billina, soberly.

"Sit down and tell us about it," begged the Wizard. "We've hunted for

you all day, and at last I noticed your footsteps in this path--and the

tracks of Billina. We found the path by accident, and seeing it only led

to two places I decided you were at either one or the other of those

places. So we made camp and waited for you to return. And now, Dorothy,

tell us where you have been--to Bunbury or to Bunnybury?"

"Why, I've been to both," she replied; "but first I went to Utensia,

which isn't on any path at all."

She then sat down and related the day's adventures, and you may be sure

Aunt Em and Uncle Henry were much astonished at the story.

"But after seeing the Cuttenclips and the Fuddles," remarked her uncle,

"we ought not to wonder at anything in this strange country."

"Seems like the only common and ordinary folks here are ourselves,"

rejoined Aunt Em, diffidently.

"Now that we're together again, and one reunited party," observed the

Shaggy Man, "what are we to do next?"

"Have some supper and a night's rest," answered the Wizard promptly,

"and then proceed upon our journey."

"Where to?" asked the Captain General.

"We haven't visited the Rigmaroles or the Flutterbudgets yet," said

Dorothy. "I'd like to see them--wouldn't you?"

"They don't sound very interesting," objected Aunt Em. "But perhaps they

are."

"And then," continued the little Wizard, "we will call upon the Tin

Woodman and Jack Pumpkinhead and our old friend the Scarecrow, on our

way home."

"That will be nice!" cried Dorothy, eagerly.

"Can't say _they_ sound very interesting, either," remarked Aunt Em.

"Why, they're the best friends I have!" asserted the little girl, "and

you're sure to like them, Aunt Em, 'cause _ever_'body likes them."

By this time twilight was approaching, so they ate the fine supper

which the Wizard magically produced from the kettle and then went to bed

in the cosy tents.

They were all up bright and early next morning, but Dorothy didn't

venture to wander from the camp again for fear of more accidents.

"Do you know where there's a road?" she asked the little man.

"No, my dear," replied the Wizard; "but I'll find one."

After breakfast he waved his hand toward the tents and they became

handkerchiefs again, which were at once returned to the pockets of their

owners. Then they all climbed into the red wagon and the Sawhorse

inquired:

"Which way?"

"Never mind which way," replied the Wizard. "Just go as you please and

you're sure to be right. I've enchanted the wheels of the wagon, and

they will roll in the right direction, never fear."

As the Sawhorse started away through the trees Dorothy said:

"If we had one of those new-fashioned airships we could float away over

the top of the forest, and look down and find just the places we want.

"Airship? Pah!" retorted the little man, scornfully. "I hate those

things, Dorothy, although they are nothing new to either you or me. I

was a balloonist for many years, and once my balloon carried me to the

Land of Oz, and once to the Vegetable Kingdom. And once Ozma had a Gump

that flew all over this kingdom and had sense enough to go where it was

told to--which airships won't do. The house which the cyclone brought to

Oz all the way from Kansas, with you and Toto in it--was a real airship

at the time; so you see we've had plenty of experience flying with the

birds."

"Airships are not so bad, after all," declared Dorothy. "Some day

they'll fly all over the world, and perhaps bring people even to the

Land of Oz."

"I must speak to Ozma about that," said the Wizard, with a slight frown.

"It wouldn't do at all, you know, for the Emerald City to become a

way-station on an airship line."

"No," said Dorothy, "I don't s'pose it would. But what can we do to

prevent it?"

"I'm working out a magic recipe to fuddle men's brains, so they'll never

make an airship that will go where they want it to go," the Wizard

confided to her. "That won't keep the things from flying, now and then,

but it'll keep them from flying to the Land of Oz."

Just then the Sawhorse drew the wagon out of the forest and a beautiful

landscape lay spread before the travelers' eyes. Moreover, right before

them was a good road that wound away through the hills and valleys.

"Now," said the Wizard, with evident delight, "we are on the right

track again, and there is nothing more to worry about."

[Illustration]

"It's a foolish thing to take chances in a strange country," observed

the Shaggy Man. "Had we kept to the roads we never would have been lost.

Roads always leads to some place, else they wouldn't be roads."

"This road," added the Wizard, "leads to Rigmarole Town. I'm sure of

that because I enchanted the wagon wheels."

Sure enough, after riding along the road for an hour or two they entered

a pretty valley where a village was nestled among the hills. The houses

were Munchkin shaped, for they were all domes, with windows wider than

they were high, and pretty balconies over the front doors.

Aunt Em was greatly relieved to find this town "neither paper nor

patch-work," and the only surprising thing about it was that it was so

far distant from all other towns.

As the Sawhorse drew the wagon into the main street the travelers

noticed that the place was filled with people, standing in groups and

seeming to be engaged in earnest conversation. So occupied with

themselves were the inhabitants that they scarcely noticed the strangers

at all. So the Wizard stopped a boy and asked:

"Is this Rigmarole Town?"

"Sir," replied the boy, "if you have traveled very much you will have

noticed that every town differs from every other town in one way or

another and so by observing the methods of the people and the way they

live as well as the style of their dwelling places it ought not to be a

difficult thing to make up your mind without the trouble of asking

questions whether the town bears the appearance of the one you intended

to visit or whether perhaps having taken a different road from the one

you should have taken you have made an error in your way and arrived at

some point where--"

[Illustration: SO AND SO, AND SO AND SO, OH YES, I DON'T KNOW IT MIGHT

BE SO I CALCULATE BUT I DON'T KNOW, INTRE MINTRY CUTEYCORN APPLE SEEDS

AND FLY AWAY JACK. SIX SIXES ARE NOT SIXTY-SIX? AND WE STILL HOLD TO

FOLDEROL DE DOODLE ALL DAY, IF I HAD A DONKEY THAT WOULDN'T GO I'D BUY A

FIDDLE FOR FIFTY CENTS AND RATTLE HIS BONES OVER THE STONES IT'S ONLY A

BEGGAR WHOM NOBODY OWNS, LISTEN??]

"Land sakes!" cried Aunt Em, impatiently; "what's all this rigmarole

about?"

"That's it!" said the Wizard, laughing merrily. "It's a rigmarole

because the boy is a Rigmarole and we've come to Rigmarole Town."

"Do they all talk like that?" asked Dorothy, wonderingly.

"He might have said 'yes' or 'no' and settled the question," observed

Uncle Henry.

"Not here," said Omby Amby. "I don't believe the Rigmaroles know what

'yes' or 'no' means."

While the boy had been talking several other people had approached the

wagon and listened intently to his speech. Then they began talking to

one another in long, deliberate speeches, where many words were used but

little was said. But when the strangers criticised them so frankly one

of the women, who had no one else to talk to, began an address to them,

saying:

"It is the easiest thing in the world for a person to say 'yes' or 'no'

when a question that is asked for the purpose of gaining information or

satisfying the curiosity of the one who has given expression to the

inquiry has attracted the attention of an individual who may be

competent either from personal experience or the experience of others to

answer it with more or less correctness or at least an attempt to

satisfy the desire for information on the part of the one who has made

the inquiry by--"

"Dear me!" exclaimed Dorothy, interrupting the speech. "I've lost all

track of what you are saying."

"Don't let her begin over again, for goodness sake!" cried Aunt Em.

But the woman did not begin again. She did not even stop talking, but

went right on as she had begun, the words flowing from her mouth in a

stream.

"I'm quite sure that if we waited long enough and listened carefully,

some of these people might be able to tell us something, in time," said

the Wizard.

"Don't let's wait," returned Dorothy. "I've heard of the Rigmaroles, and

wondered what they were like; but now I know, and I'm ready to move on."

"So am I," declared Uncle Henry; "we're wasting time here."

"Why, we're all ready to go," added the Shaggy Man, putting his fingers

to his ears to shut out the monotonous babble of those around the wagon.

So the Wizard spoke to the Sawhorse, who trotted nimbly through the

village and soon gained the open country on the other side of it.

Dorothy looked back, as they rode away, and noticed that the woman had

not yet finished her speech but was talking as glibly as ever, although

no one was near to hear her.

"If those people wrote books," Omby Amby remarked with a smile, "it

would take a whole library to say the cow jumped over the moon."

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"Perhaps some of 'em do write books," asserted the little Wizard. "I've

read a few rigmaroles that might have come from this very town."

"Some of the college lecturers and ministers are certainly related to

these people," observed the Shaggy Man; "and it seems to me the Land of

Oz is a little ahead of the United States in some of its laws. For

here, if one can't talk clearly, and straight to the point, they send

him to Rigmarole Town; while Uncle Sam lets him roam around wild and

free, to torture innocent people."

Dorothy was thoughtful. The Rigmaroles had made a strong impression upon

her. She decided that whenever she spoke, after this, she would use only

enough words to express what she wanted to say.

[Illustration]

_How_ THEY ENCOUNTERED THE FLUTTERBUDGETS

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