THE BLACK DIPLOMAT.
Alice was persevering in those little attentions to the sick negro that
were operating in a salutary way upon his heart. What power, however
rebellious or unfriendly, could withstand the charm of that fragrant
life?--a life so redundant in acts of charity and benevolence, that
carried its dispensations into the cabins of the poor freedmen to whom
the authorities under reconstruction made so many promises--promises to
the ear to be broken to the hope.
The old negro's sympathies now and then for his master and young
mistress would die down into ashes, and then again, when he looked
toward Ingleside and thought of its defenceless inmates, his feelings
would be grateful and kind.
In all the years that were gone, his old master and mistress had been so
kind to him, in sickness and health; they had clothed and fed him;
without their assistance he would have been so helpless. Indeed, Ned had
never felt the rigors or oppression of slavery in this household or upon
this plantation. Old master's government was patriarchal, and
emancipation had come so inopportunely; somehow it never appealed to the
affections, or the love of the old negroes, but it came upon them as
other great crises have come--with arguments and reinforcements that
shattered every principle of manhood and bestialized their natures. It
came with proclamations against the universally denounced crime of
slavery, and with an energetically centralized power; and the old
negroes, unable to reason intelligently from premises so false and
enticing, forgot their loyalty to their friends and looked to the
carpet-bagger for a new revelation.
The lovely girl was always happy when ministering to the sick, even in
the huts of destitution and squalor. She was happy when she pressed
Uncle Ned's wrinkled brow and felt that the consuming fever had been
driven out of his system by medication and faithful nursing.
When her own heart was burdened by sorrow, she sang out of its fullness
and pathos to the negro, and the tears glided out of his eyes and ran
down into the deep-cut furrows of his black face.
The old negro discovered in the experience of the few eventful years
that there was nothing hopeful or helpful in the pledges or
proclamations of the reconstructionists. The very old negroes were not
counted in the aggregation of their numerical power, or in the sum total
of the freedmen. "Old Glory" never welcomed them with a dip of its proud
crest as they passed in and out of the town in tatters and rags. It
never bade them with its caress to pause within its grateful shadow in
the dog days when they were over wearied with marching and
counter-marching.
The great Commissariat persistently withheld its bounty when there was
no election--no votes to be polled for Laflin and his pampered minions.
These dilapidated creatures were post-prandial guests in the banqueting
halls of the bosses; hounds rather to gnaw the bones that were flung as
offal upon the refuse heaps. They were not the artisans who were toiling
upon the superstructure of the new south; not wanted in cabals,
intrigues, conventions; not the journeymen who where revamping the
political edifice; not mechanics who were furbishing the weapons of
plunder; not trained to the harness as beasts of burden in dragging the
car of reconstruction with its whetted knives over the prostrated
country. Hence it was that gaunt poverty with its steel tined fork was
constantly prodding the old negroes who had turned their backs upon
their masters and whose new masters were dull of hearing, hence it was
that so many who had hungered for the flesh pots were going back to the
leaks and garlic; hence it was that hunger had given such acuteness to
old Ned's sense of smell, that Alice was greeted with an exclamation
brimming over with gratitude.
"I'm so skeert, young missis, dat I haint ergwine to git outen dis house
in a hole munt."
The exclamation provoked a smile from the sweet girl who came laden with
good things for Ned and she replied apologetically,
"I am sorry, uncle Ned, that I couldn't know just what you wanted."
The sick negro shook his head, for his mouth was too full for verbal
explanations, and then bowed his thanks, observing after a moment.
"Clarsy, when I heerd yung missis at de do I node it was Santy Clors,
sho nuff."
"Bress you hart, missis, enny nigger dat wudn't fite twell def fur yu
und ole marser had ort to be hung by de nek twell hes ded."
Ned would have extemporized upon the subject perhaps at greater length;
but for the interruption of a dilapidated negro, dressed in a dingy
threadbare blue uniform; whose white head was covered by a decayed
beaver, from which a dirty red handkerchief hung over his left eye.
The new comer was Joshua; perhaps the first and most patriotic recruit
in the army of the freedmen; among the first to cut asunder the ligature
of slavery.
As the huge Commissariat advertised the fatness of reconstruction, so
Joshua advertised the leanness thereof.
The black diplomat in a tentative way was preparing the colored people
for an event of momentous consequence. His mission to Ned's cabin was
for this purpose.
"Mornin to yu boff," came the crusty greeting.
"Is dat yu, brudder Joshaway?" Clarissa enquired.
"Yes, dis is me."
"Cum in, den," said Clarissa, and Joshua, reeling from old age tottered
in and took a seat with a groan.
"Is dat you, Miss Alice?" he asked looking up and shading his eyes with
a palsied hand and seeing the young lady in the cabin.
"Scuse me, marm, I haint seed yu afore."
"Good morning, Uncle Joshua, I am very glad to see you. You are a
stranger to us and the old home. I should think you would come to see us
now and then, to know how we are getting on. Have you entirely forgotten
your old friends?"
The old negro dropped his head embarrassingly as he replied with
hesitation. "Not eggzackly, mum, but fokeses has dun und got so kurous
now a days dar haint no telling how menny scrapes yu is ergwine to git
kotched in; I'm moest afeered to git outen Hanner's wision, deed I is,
mum."
"You are not a soldier I hope, uncle Joshua? Do you belong to the army,"
asked Alice as she observed the blue uniform that he wore.
"No mum, not pintedly," the negro furtively answered. "Dat is I don't
tote no muskeet--und I got my deesharge from de leftenant--und I haint
got no offis in pertickler, but de cappen lowed dat he mout pint me
corpurul of de gyard at de kumissurry ef I cud hole out."
"Ef I cud hole out" sneeringly repeated Clarissa. "Ugh! Nigh unto er
hunded year ole er holin out; mouter say ef yu cud hole in; jess es
ragged es er sedge hen."
Alice was very much amused at the coarse wit of Clarissa, but it was
important that she should return home and perhaps, too, her presence
might embarrass the interview between the freed slaves, and taking uncle
Joshua's hand in her own she bade him good bye with the observation.
"Remember, old man, that father and I are still your friends; and when
you are in trouble or distress come to us. May God bless you, uncle
Joshua."
"Good by, missis!" exclaimed Joshua, as he wiped his eyes with his coat
sleeve, "May de Lord do de same to yu missis."
After the young lady had retired, Joshua, with some trepidation,
observed:
"Brudder Johnsing, Hanner sont me ober heer to ax yu und sister to de
weddin Saddy nite und to tell sister Johnsing how she mout bake er cake
wid ice on de tip eend of hit, ur she moutent ef she didn't want to."
"Who dat want er cake?" exclaimed Clarissa.
"Yu heerd whot I sed, didn't yu?" Joshua petulantly replied.
"Who dat ergwine to git married Joshua?" she asked.
"Efrum, dats who," replied Joshua.
"My King! dat biggerty nigger ergwine to git married sho nuff?"
"Deed he is, und he is ergwine to marry way up yander outen site
too--ergwine to git er portly white gal wid de moest dimuns und watch
chains und bunnets kivered wid hostrich fedders. When yu sees dat gal
yu'll see er hole steer kaart full of dimuns er shinin ebery which er
way; und yu has to keep yo eyes shot rite tite, don't yu ergwine to git
struck plum bline, same as de possle Peter dun when dat white man was
ergwine up to Jarriko; dat yu will! Is you und sister Jonsin ergwine to
de weddin; und is yu ergwine to bake de cake? Tell me dat fust."
Clarissa deliberately raised herself out of the rickety chair in which
she was sitting, with a grunt, and walked over to Joshua, and lifting
the old beaver from his head, remarked in a provoking way:
"I spishuned dat de boss had dun und crapped yo years wid swaller
forks."
"How much yu dun und got from ole Laffin fur bein his nigger; yu und
Efrum; tell me dat?"
"Swaller forks!" indignantly replied Joshua. "Sich humans as yu is dun
woured up de creeters dat toted de swaller-forks fo de belliun fell.
Swaller-forks!" he again repeated in disgust; and turned in his seat to
look savagely at Clarissa and held his peace.
"You need nt shine dem ole holler eyes at me, Joshaway; yuse ergwine
erbout er hipperty hop from wun house to ernudder wid yo weddin inwites
und I lay a fo pence yu haint got narry tater nur hocake nudder whar yu
stays. I don't look fur nuffin else but er yurthshake to swaller up de
pizened niggers big und little er keepin dis plantashun in er monstrus
flustrashun ebery day und nite de Lord sends. Ergwine to marry er portly
white gal! Great King! Und yu er noratin de news, lookin dis werry minit
lak a po run down gizzard shad wid one foot in de grabe und tuther wun
er slanting innards. Ergwine to de weddin! When yu sees er biggerty
nigger er jinin hissef to er white gal in dis lan, yu ergwine to see
seben moons in de hellyments at wun time."
"Yu and Efrum needn't spishun kase de Soufland is dun und konkered wun
time und flung upon hits back dat yu pizened niggers is gwine to git de
underholt de nex time, ef boff her hands is tied, Dares ole mars Jon's
sord a lyin agen de bofat er natally cryin fur a moufful of yore black
meat same as a strayed gander er squorkin for his shipmates, und it aims
to cut hit off whay hit aint ergwine to heal togedder no mo! und ef yu
don't walk mity perpundikkler, de werry fust time yu cums to yo
membrunce, dat ole crows' nest on de tip eend of yo ole hed is ergwine
to be layin in wun jam of de fence und yo old karkuss in er nudder.
Ergwine to de weddin! Grate Jerusalem!"
Joshua for a moment was completely disarmed by the rapid volleys from
Clarissa's battery, but he was not without resources, even in this
terrific encounter. He fixed his savage glance upon the old negress, as
he asked with due gravity.
"Is yu ergwine to fight for the secesh ef de war do take a fresh rise?"
"Yu heerd what I sed, Joshaway," replied Clarissa with a significant
gesture. "Ef yu don't want Mars Jon's sord er gashing yu into leetle
hunks of horg meat yu got to walk mity perpundikkler.
"Bress God!" exclaimed Joshua as he wiped his face with his dirty
handkerchief, "How kin a humans walk perpundikkler wid free crooks in de
back und de rumatiz in boff shanks?"
"Dat ole sord is ergwine to tak dem dere crooks outen yore back same as
a toof doctor jerkin out dat ole snag of yourn," answered Clarissa.
"To be sho yu haint ergwine agin yo own kuller?" suggested Joshua.
"Is yu fur de Nuniun ur de Secesh, ef de belliun haint squelched ur
nuffin?"
There was a directness about the question that momentarily unnerved
Clarissa but she saw that she was tacitly reinforced by Ned and she
replied with the same exhibition of temper.
"Me und Ned is boff ergwine to fight for ole marser, ef de war haint
swaged und de time we gits froo wid yu, yu's ergwine to immytate dat ole
gyarment, er layin dere in dat pail of poke juice."
"Grate Jarryko!" exclaimed Joshua with vehemence, "dat ar nigger dun und
fotched on ernudder belliun widout ary shutin ion ur muskeet udder.
Don't do hit, chile," he continued patronizingly, "kase ef yu uprares
ernudder insurreckshun fo dis heer wun is dun und ceasded in dis heer po
souf, de dekins in de church is ergwine to fling yer into outer
darkness. Yu er sot back er Sundys in de jam of de mussy seat wid eyes
shot tite lak de slidin elder, er singin 'Kanyun, sweet Kanyun,' und
bress Gawd yu is batin de lams ob de flock wid leetle mouffuls o' hell
farr."
"Ergwine tu de weddin! My Lord!" This was the derisive answer that
Clarissa made to this fanfaronade of old Joshua.
Ned laid upon the bed laughing to himself with his eyes fixed upon the
crude masonry of a dirt-dauber that was preparing to go into winter
quarters just above his head.
"Is yu dun wid speechifyin, sister Johnsin?" asked uncle Joshua as he
again wiped his moist face with his handkerchief. "Ef yu is, I has jes
got wun reckymendashun fur sich ez yu. Pend upon it, sister, ef yu wus
Hanner und Hanner wus yu, I wud play hail-kerlumby-happy-lan on yo ole
bones wid er palin fo brekfus und arter supper too, all de time. Ole
Satan hes dun und stobbed boff yo yeares wid pitch-forks, und de Lawd
nose he is wusser dan de boss, und de pitch-forks is wusser dan de
swaller-forks. Ef dat white gal wants to jine hersef to dat cullud
gemman, who's ergwine to hender? Tell me dat? I haint ergwine to pester
mysef wid no sich low down trash es yu is, und ef yu goes to de weddin
dare haint ergwine to be no weddin gyarment fur yu, und when yu nocks
at de do, brudder Effrum is ergwine to fling yu out into tarnel darkness
whar de whang doodlum hoops und hollers fur hits onliest chile."
"My King," exclaimed Clarissa "whot is dat ole nigger er spashiatin
erbout Ned?"
Ned could not restrain himself, but burst out into a great guffaw.
Joshua angered above measure gathered himself together and walked out of
the cabin with the observation:
"I wants to see wun mo whupping post in de lan fo I dies, und I wants
hits uprared at dis do, und I wants to fling de whoop fur de high
shuruff."
Upon the exit of Joshua Ned began seriously to think of the flagrant
acts of injustice which had more or less warped his nature; and all in
his heedless pursuit of freedom and sovereignty. He saw within his cabin
a perpetual menace to the peace of old master and young mistress. Upon
every visit that Alice made to his lowly home he saw that a grief too
deep to be sounded, bayonetted afresh her poor heart. The armed soldier
who slew her brother and sweetheart wore a blue jacket like the one that
hung in the rack above his bed; how could he be true to his oath with
these menaces flaunting in the face of his young mistress? So with a
huge frown upon his face he said to his wife, "Clarsy, dem ole blu
gyarments und dat ole muskett is jess whot plade de devul twixt me und
ole marser. Mouter node dey wud set ole marser er fire; he er fitin dem
yankys fur fo year in de war und got yung mars Harry kilt, to cum back
home und see dese heer niggers er marchin baccards und furrards all ober
de plantashun wid dem dar blu jackets jess lak de yankys wo in de war,
und er beatin drums dat sounds to ole marsa same as er berryin. Yu jess
take dem ole gyarments outen dis house und gib to Ellik, und tell him to
gib em to de boss leftenent, und tell him dat corpul Jonsin has sined
his persish in de milintery cumpny, und dat he aint ergwine to war no
mo."
"Dats whot you orter dun und dun fo yu jined," answered Clarissa
deprecatingly; "jess gon und fotched all dis trubble on de lan fur
nuffin. Mouter node ole marser was ergwine to raise er harrykane when he
seed de cussed niggers wid dere muskeets er marchin up und down de
plantashun lak er passel of squorking gooses. I got wexed mysef und I
haint fit in no war nudder. Dars dat po gal er cryin her eyeballs out,
und her po lovyer er lying ober yander under de cold clods of Furginny.
I don't specks nuffin else but dat ole Laflin ergwine to get all de
niggers in de New United States massacreed. Needn't pin dere fafe to
whippin de Souf ef she is flung upon her back.
"Yander cums Ellik now lak a lunytik wid fedders nuff on de tip eend of
his hat to stuff a fedder bed, wid his neck as stiff es er poker und his
eyes same es de sun in de clipse er sot in de sky."
"Halt! Serlute!" came a self addressed command from the negro sergeant.
"Aha! missus Jonsin, how is yo ladyship dis a. m.?" he asked in the
stern voice of an officer.
"I haint got no ladyship; dats whot I haint got, nur I haint ergwine to
say amen to no sich dooins nudder," replied Clarissa poutingly.
"Hi!" ejaculated the black sergeant; "why, missus Jonsin," he continued
"De las time I dun yu de onner to wisit yu, yu was spashiatin erbout de
fousend doller peanny corpul Jonsin was agwine to purchis fur yu, und
how yu was ergwine to play de hopperattiks fur yo frens.
"Ugh!" grunted Clarissa scornfully, "I plays de hopperattiks now ebery
day, twell my fingurs is clean wo' out on de wash bode, er slavin fur er
no count miluntary nigger jes lak yu."
"Nigger!" exclaimed the sergeant derisively, "Dere is no niggers in dis
'lan ob de free und de home ob de brave.' We is sufferens und kings, und
our wifes und dorters is queens; und yu holes de specter in yo hans ef
yu node it."
Clarissa, greatly irritated at the saucy negro, placed her arms akimbo,
and fixing her gaze upon him, exclaimed with wrath,
"Yu go erway frum here, Ellik. I natally spises yu enny how, yu hateful
creetur. I haint er puttin my mouf on yu, nigger, but fo' dis bressed
year runs out, yu is ergwine ter be er spexter, und de buzzards is
ergwine ter be er huvverin erroun yer ole bones; jess see ef day don't.
Ole Mars Jon aint ergwine ter stan no mo'. Yu und Efrum er trapesin
backards und farrards ober dis plantashun wid a hep, hep, hep, same as
Captin Grant ur Ginurl Linkum. Pend upon it, nigger, dem white fokeses
in de town fools yu to def yit."
"Yu sprises me, missus Jonsin," responded the negro with assumed
dignity. "I spishioned yu wus a patrot."
"No I haint, nudder, und I haint ergine tu be no patrot; but I kin tell
yu whot yu is ergwine ter be fo' dis year runs out--yu is ergwine ter be
er pennytenshur conwick, er yu is ergwine ter be histed twixt de hebbens
und de yurth on de gallus. Ef yu takes my wice yu'll burn up dem ole
sojer gyarments und tell ole Mars Jon yu is dun und cum back to stay.
Dat is de moest senserbulest fing you can doo; dats whot me und Ned dun
und dun und now ole mars Jon is es happy es a cockerroche in er borrul
of flour."
The sergeant waltzed up to Clarissa, and taking her with some violence
by the arm sang in a harsh unmusical voice:
"Oh: say kin yu see by the dorhns early lite?"
when a heavy back banded blow sent the sergeant bowling, as Clarissa
shouted in her anger.
"Yaas, I sees de dorn und yu sees de stors."
"Ah!" he exclaimed "I perseeves yu is not er patrot," and he commanded
"Attenshun! eyes to de front! forrard march!" and marched away as he
whistled
"De jay bird died wid de hooping coff,
Und de sparrer died wid de kollery."
Clarissa made one observation as the negro marched off, "Yu will be ded,
sted of de sparrer und de jay bird."
What had become of the warning paragraph in the reconstruction calendar?
The three blood red stars that punctuated the enigmatical judgment,
"sixty days within which to prove your loyalty." Powers that be, at
whose shrine shall the persecuted man make the act of apotheosis? Shall
it be at the altar of Laflin, the freedman's deity? Shall it be in the
presence of the cringing minions who will mock at his calamity and laugh
when his fear cometh?
An arctic night has dropped down upon the south; and in our dense
blindness we know not in what direction lies the Serbonian bog. We once
erected upon this soil a mighty temple which wisdom and virtue
consecrated to patriotism. We laid the edifice upon foundations of
concession and compromise; and we were vain enough to believe that it
would stand forever; but not so. So the dykes of Holland; the mountains
of Switzerland, and the surrounding Sea of Venice were proclaimed as
everlasting pledges for the preservation of patriotism, but intestine
struggles engendered those revolutionary factions which invited the
attack of a despotism and secured its victory. So reasoned with himself
this veteran of the civil war, and the father of a loyal-hearted
daughter, this slave of a power whose minions were drunken with its
excess.