"Oribazius!... You saw it?"
"Yes," responded the student. "But perhaps the fault lay with you,
Julian.... What did you hope for?"
The Emperor made no answer.
They came near a little ruined temple that ivy had invaded and
overrun. Fragments lay about in the deep grass. A single column only
remained standing; and on its lovely capital, clear-cut as the petals
of a lily, shone the last rays of sunset.
The friends sat down on the flags together and inhaled the air, sweet
with mint and thyme and wormwood. Julian put the leaves aside and
pointing to an antique broken bas-relief--
"Oribazius! That is what I hoped for!"
The bas-relief represented a religious procession of the ancient
Athenians.
"That is what I desired ... beauty like theirs! Why from day to day do
men become more and more deformed and misfeatured? Where are the
immortal old men, the austere heroes, the proud lads, the pure women
in their white and floating robes? Where is that strength, that
gaiety of heart? Galileans! Galileans! what have you done with these
things?"
He gazed at the bas-relief with eyes full of infinite sadness and
infinite love.
"Julian," asked Oribazius, gently, "do you believe in Maximus?"
"Yes."
"Wholly?"
"What do you mean?"
"I've always thought, Julian, that you suffer from the same malady as
your enemies, the Christians!"
"What malady?"
"Faith in miracles."
Julian shook his head.
"If there be neither miracles nor gods my whole life is a madness!...
No, we won't speak of that. And do not be too hard upon me on account
of my love for ancient ceremonies. I scarcely can explain it to you.
The old simple things stir tears in me; and I love the evening more
than the morning, autumn better than spring. I love all that is
fleeting!... even the perfume of flowers that have faded.... What
would you have, my friend? The gods shaped me so!... That pleasant
melancholy, that golden faery twilight, are necessary to me. In the
depth of antiquity there is to me something ineffably gracious and
fair such as I find in no other region--the shining of sunset on
marble mellowed by time. Do not rob me of the mad love of what is no
more. Everything that has been, is fairer than the thing that is!
Remembrance has more power over my soul than hope...."
Julian was silent, and with a smile on his lips looked into the
distance, his head leaning back against the column.
"You speak as a poet," answered Oribazius. "But the dreams of a poet
are perilous when the fate of a world is in his hands. Ought not he
who reigns over men to be something more than a poet?"
"Whose life is higher?"
"That of the creator of a _new_ life?..."
"New! new!" exclaimed Julian. "To be plain with you, your novelty
sometimes strikes terror into me! It seems to me to be cold and hard
as death. I tell you, my heart is in antiquity. The Galileans, like
you, are always seeking novelty and stamping the old idols under
foot!... Trust me, new life lies only in what is old; immortal is it
and proud, however it be thus insulted!"
He drew himself up to his full height, pale and haughty, his eyes
brilliant--
"They think that Hellas is dead!... And from every quarter of the
compass black monks come swooping down, like ravens, on its marble
body, and pick at it, joyously shrieking, 'Hellas is dead!' But they
forget that Hellas cannot die, that Hellas is in our hearts! Hellas is
the divine beauty of man upon earth. She but slumbers, and when she
shall awake, woe to the crows of Galilee!"
"Julian," murmured Oribazius, "I fear for you.... You wish to
accomplish the impossible.... Crows do not feed on the living, and the
dead do not rise again.... Ah, Cæsar! what if the miracle does not
succeed?"
"I have no fear. My defeat shall be my victory!" exclaimed the
Emperor, with so radiant a happiness on his young face that Oribazius
was thrilled, as if the miracle was now to be achieved. "Glory to the
rejected! Glory to the conquered! But before my destruction," he
added with a proud smile, "we will fight a good fight!... I would that
my enemies were worthy of my hate, and not of my contempt!... In truth
I love my enemies. They teach me to feel and measure my own force!
They bring into my heart the gaiety of Dionysus. Or it shall be the
old Titan, snapping his chains, and kindling anew the Promethean fire!
Titan against Galilean!... Rejoice, tribes and peoples of the earth! I
am the messenger of life who shall set you free! I _am_ the
Anti-Christ!"