THERE is one thing worth note in the manners (or want of manners) of our
present enemies the Looshai folk. The _Standard_ says that they delight
"in transposition of the component parts of the names of places and
chiefs. Thus, SOOK-PI-LAL is often converted into LAL-PI-SOOK. A similar
practice frequently prevails in British India; the lower class of
natives constantly substituting Nucklow for Lucknow." Call these people
savages! Why, they are as witty as most members of the Stock Exchange.
What higher flight can the latter generally attain than the feat of
calling "ROBINSON AND THOMSON" "TOBINSON AND ROMSON," or saying that
JONES lives at "Wampton Hick?" We hope that these Orientals will be
treated with as much consideration as may be. They are none so
uncivilised, as times go. Perhaps they like burlesques.
* * * * *
=Parallels for the People.=
A BRIGHT idea is that of establishing "Public-houses without Drink."
Would it not be improved upon by the institution of Restaurants without
Meat?
* * * * *
[Illustration: VIVIFYING TREATMENT OF A PARTNER.
(_A Tragedy of the last Harrogate Season._)
_Young Lady_ (_to Partner, instantly on their taking their Places_).
"NOW----I'VE BEEN TO FOUNTAINS ABBEY, AND TO BOLTON, AND I'VE SEEN THE
BRIMHAM ROCKS, AND THE DROPPING WELL, AND THE VIEW FROM THE OBSERVATORY,
AND WE HAD A MORNING IN YORK MINSTER, AND WE HAVE BEEN HERE A FORTNIGHT,
AND WE ARE GOING TO STAY ANOTHER, AND PAPA TAKES THE CHALYBEATE WATERS,
AND I AM VERY GLAD THE CAVALRY ARE COMING. _NOW_ YOU MAY BEGIN
CONVERSATION." [_Utter Collapse of Partner._ ]
* * * * *
"COME ABOARD, SIR!"
"COME aboard, Sir!" to the Captain
Says JOHN BRIGHT, A.B,
As he touches his tarpaulin,
Smart and sailorly.
And the watch look pleased as Punches,
Officers and men,
For A.B.'s like JOHN are always
Welcome back again!
Over deck, and spars, and rigging
JOHN he slues his eye;
Gives a seaman's squint to leeward,
Scanning sea and sky;
At the binnacle he glances,
Notes the course she steers;
Nought on board or in the offing,
Scapes his eyes and ears.
For the ship has seen hard weather,
And some people say;
CAPTAIN GLADSTONE ain't the man he
Was the other day:
And if you believe the croakers,
Officers and crew,
Don't pull with a will together,
As they used to do.
Certain 'tis, since JOHN BRIGHT left her,
His sick leave to take,
The old craft, in last year's cruising,
Had an ugly shake.
Made poor day's-works, too much lee-way;
Badly fouled her screw:
Scraped her copper, if she didn't
Start a plate or two.
Certain 'tis, with crew and captain,
Officers also,
Things don't go on quite as pleasant
As they used to go.
There's been some high-handed doings,
Some quite the reverse;
Some's took sick, and some's took sulky;
Some took soft, or worse.
There's sea-lawyers--donkey-engines
Can't their slack haul in;
You may stop their grog, you'll never
Stop the yarns they spin:
There's your discontented beggars,
Nothing e'er can please;
There's your pennywise 'uns, nibbling
At the dips and cheese.
There's your mutineers, for mischief
Ripe 'gainst flag and Crown;
Never pleased unless they're turning
'Tween-decks upside down.
There's your Queen's bad bargains, shirking
Work, whoever strain:
Trimmers COX'S traverse working--
"There and back again."
Green-hands, as can't fudge a reckoning,
Of a watch in charge;
Looking after the _Britannia_,
And can't steer a barge!
For the Captain has his fancies--
When he's picked a man
For a job, whoe'er can't do it,
_He's_ the chap as _can_.
Anyway the ship's the better
By a good A.B.,
Now JOHN BRIGHT is all a-taunto,
And come back to sea.
Be't to talk to the blue-jackets
Like a 'cute old salt;
Con the ship, or call the soundings,
Hide or slang a fault--
On the yardarm, big guns blowing,
Weather ear-ring take;
With bright yarns, to keep the watches
Spry and wide-awake;
So as to give cyclones the go-by,
Safest course to steer;
Canvas when to spread, when shorten,
With a lee-shore near--
No A.B. in the _Britannia_
Better knows than JOHN:
Which let's hope that CAPTAIN G. will
Take his advice thereon.
Well we know that now JOHN'S buckled
To his work again,
'Twill for officers be better,
And for ship and men!
* * * * *
[Illustration: "OFF GREENWICH."