When I was about twelve years of age, the teacher asked me to erase the
blackboard after school. After I finished, I walked down one aisle
between the seats. On one girl's desk I saw a match box, and in this box
was a tiny doll. I had seen her play with this doll and I thought it was
the cutest doll I had ever seen. I never had dolls when I was small, as
my folks could not afford to buy me one. I would wrap up a stick or
something and carry it around for my doll. So this doll attracted me
very much. As I looked at it, I wanted it so very much.
Before I tell more about this incident let us read a Scripture in the
Bible which tells us about being tempted to sin. In James 1:14,15, it
brings out how it works. "But every man [woman or child] is tempted,
when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath
conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth
forth death." Let us see what the word tempted means. _Tempt_ means "to
induce; entice; allure." The devil works through us to tempt us. First,
we are tempted by our own lust. Lust means an "overmastering desire."
_Entice_ means to "attract by offering hope of reward or pleasure." So
we see that the devil will induce us to do wrong by placing an
overmastering desire for something, which he convinces us will bring a
reward or some pleasure.
Note the next verse says, that when this lust or desire for a certain
thing is _conceived_, which means "formed in the mind," or it is decided
by the person that he is going to do a certain thing that is wrong, then
that brings forth sin. Now sin is finished [completed] when the act is
committed. After the act is committed then it brings forth death to the
soul. In other words, sin separates a person from God. That means
spiritual death. If a person continues to live in sin, or in spiritual
death, and then dies a physical death, he would be eternally separated
from God. But thank God, this need not be. The key to being restored to
God is found in God's Word. Since sin has to be punished, we find that
Jesus, the Son of God, was willing to come here, live and die and arise
from the grave so we can have forgiveness for our sins, as we, with
godly sorrow, seek for it.
Now I will continue with the incident in my own young life. First, I
want to say that from a child I loved the Lord and my parents taught me
what sin was and I didn't want to displease the Lord. But I was not
above temptations. So when I saw this little doll, I was tempted by the
devil. I had an overmastering desire to have that doll and I was enticed
by the hope of the reward of having it for my own and thought no one
would know about it. So quickly I picked it up and took it home. You
see, when I let lust, or that overmastering desire, become conceived, or
formed, in my mind, and I took the doll, I committed sin. Sin was
finished and I was cut off from God. Spiritual death took place in my
heart. No longer could I come to God and have communion with Him. Sin
had separated me from God. So as the Scripture says, "when it [sin] is
finished, it bringeth forth death."
I brought the doll home with me, but oh, I didn't feel good in my heart!
I knew I had sinned and I wished I had not taken the doll, but I had it
and was on my way home. I came into the house and my watchful mother saw
it. She asked, "Where did you get that doll?"
"Old Tennessee gave it to me," I quickly said, which was a lie. Another
sin was added to my first sin. The devil not only gets a person to sin
but he gets them to commit other sins to cover up the first sin. Thus,
he leads people on and on, and deeper into sin they fall. (Old Tennessee
was an elderly black man who drove a horse and wagon by our home, filled
with junk that he had collected. Sometimes, when he would stop and talk
to us children, he would give us some of his junk which we would value.)
I took the doll upstairs to my room and put it in my dresser drawer. I
didn't want to play with it. It didn't look so pretty anymore. My heart
was heavy. I didn't rest very well that night as I dreaded going back to
school. I just knew the teacher would guess that I had taken the doll.
To my surprise, nothing was said the next day about the doll. I avoided
the girl and hurried home after school. But yet the fact of stealing
that doll weighed heavily on my heart. A few days later I took the doll
out in the alley and took a brick and smashed it all to pieces and
buried it, but that didn't take away the sin or the guilt. I had sinned
against God and was still a liar and a thief. Oh, how bad I felt! I had
been taught to pray from a little child, and had always prayed, but
every time I would try to pray that sin would come up before me, so
finally I quit praying.
School was soon out and a few weeks passed by. Bro. John Wilson came to
our house from Missouri and held a few nights' meeting at the chapel.
One night he preached on hell fire. Oh, I could almost feel the fire of
hell around me! I trembled, but hurried out as soon as meeting was over
and the invitation had closed. I went home and to bed as soon as
possible, but not to sleep. I rolled and tumbled on my bed. The weight
of sin was so heavy on my heart that it seemed the mattress was on top
of me instead of me on the mattress. I knew I was on the road to hell.
Finally, toward morning, I told the Lord that if He would spare my life
until I heard the alarm go off in my parent's room that I would get up
and go ask my father to pray for me to get saved and I would seek
forgiveness for my sins from God. This calmed me, and I lay there
waiting. When I heard the alarm, I ran to their room and knelt beside
their bed. I began to weep and beg Papa to pray for me to get saved. He
prayed for me and I prayed. I asked the Lord to forgive me of my sin of
stealing and lying and promised I would make it right. I told the Lord I
would tell the girl I had stolen the doll and pay her for it. God took
my word for the act and He forgave me and flooded my soul with peace.
Oh, I had found the key to peace for my inner longings! The key was a
desire to find peace and then obeying God's Word which said, "If we
confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to
cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I John 1:9. That key opened the
lock to my heart and let Jesus come in. Jesus has said, "The words that
I speak unto you, they are spirit and they are life." John 6:63b. Oh,
the peace that filled me and I became a new creature in Christ Jesus! I
was happy again.
I had promised the Lord that I would make my sin right when school
started. So one day I was sitting behind this girl and I tapped her on
the back. I told her about my taking the doll and offered to pay her for
it. She said, "I often wondered where that doll went to, but I didn't
care anything about it anyway." I insisted on paying her but she said to
forget it. Oh, the relief that I then had because the devil fought my
making it right by telling me that she would tell every one in school
about my being a thief. I never heard anything more about it.
Then I had to make the lie right, for I had told my mother and all of my
brothers and sisters that old Tennessee had given it to me. One time in
family worship I started to tell it and broke down and wept, but kept on
telling about it. I asked forgiveness and my father said that they all
forgave me. I didn't know until years later that none of them understood
anything I said because I had cried so hard, but I thought they did and
that was what counted. I had obeyed the Lord who makes us know that we
are to make our wrongs right.
When Jesus came to Zacchaeus' house and he sought salvation from Him,
Zacchaeus said, "If I have taken any thing from any man by false
accusation, I restore him fourfold." Luke 19:8. We must make our wrongs
right. If we do, and have repented and confessed our sins, we can hear
the same words that Jesus said to Zacchaeus, "This day is salvation come
to this house, ... For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that
which was lost." (verse 9, 10.)
I am thankful to say that this was the only thing that I ever took in my
life and it was a great lesson to me. Oh, how wonderful it is to be the
Lord's! If we love and serve Him, we can have peace in our souls. We
might have many problems and troubles in this life but if we have peace
in our heart and are in contact with God, these things can't take away
our peace and we can face life. The Bible says, "Man that is born of a
woman is of few days, and full of trouble." Job 14:1. Troubles will come
to us but if we obey God's Word, we can have peace in our soul and be
ready to meet the Lord when He comes in the clouds of glory.
I do pray that all who may read this will take the key, which is the
Word of God and through obedience use it to unlock your heart and let
that Word fill your heart and life, and you will have peace. Every
longing will be satisfied as you continue to obey the Word.