'Twill be time to go home. What shall I say I have done? It must be
a very plausive invention that carries it. I find my tongue is too
fool-hardy. SHAKESPEARE.
Reaching the well-known mansion of my father, I knocked softly at the
front door, was admitted, and without saying a word to the servant,
rushed to the head of the dining-room table, and threw my arms round my
mother's neck, who only screamed, "Good heavens, my child!" and fell
into hysterics. My father, who was in the very midst of helping his
soup, jumped up to embrace me and assist my mother. The company all
rose, like a covey of partridges: one lady spoiled a new pink satin gown
by a tip of the elbow from her next neighbour, just as a spoonful of
soup had reached "the rosy portals of her mouth;" the little spaniel,
Carlo, set up a loud and incessant bark; and in one minute the whole
comely arrangement of the feast was converted into anarchy and
confusion.
Order was, however, soon restored: my mother recovered her composure--my
father shook me by the hand--the company all agreed that I was a very
fine, interesting boy--the ladies resumed their seats, and I had the
satisfaction to observe that my sudden appearance had not deprived them
of their appetites. I soon convinced them that in this particular, at
least, I also was in high training. My midshipman's life had neither
disqualified nor disgusted me with the luxuries of the table; nor did I
manifest the slightest backwardness or diffidence when invited by the
gentlemen to take wine. I answered every question with such fluency of
speech, and such compound interest of words, as sometimes caused the
propounder to regret that he had put me to the trouble of speaking.
I gave a very florid description of the fight; praised some admirals and
captains for their bravery, sneered at others, and accused a few of
right down misconduct. Now and then, by way of carrying conviction into
my auditors' very souls, I rammed home my charges with an oath, at which
my father looked grave, my mother held up her finger, the gentlemen
laughed, and the ladies all said with a smile, "Sweet boy!--what
animation--what sense--what discernment!" Thinks I to myself, "You are
as complete a set of gulls as ever picked up a bit of biscuit!"
Next morning, while my recent arrival was still warm, I broke the
subject of my chest to my father and mother at breakfast; indeed, my
father, very fortunately for me, began by inquiring how my stock of
clothes held out.
"Bad enough," said I, as I demolished the third egg, for I still had a
good appetite at breakfast.
"Bad enough!" repeated my father, "why you were extremely well fitted
with everything."
"Very true, sir," said I; "but then you don't know what a man-of-war is
in clearing for action; everything not too hot or too heavy is chucked
overboard with as little ceremony as I swallow this muffin. `Whose
hat-box is this?' `Mr Spratt's, sir.' `Damn Mr Spratt, I'll teach
him to keep his hat-box safe another time; over with it'--and away it
went over the lee gangway. Spratt's father was a hatter in Bond-Street,
so we all laughed."
"And pray, Frank," said my mother, "did your box go in the same way?"
"It kept company, I assure you. I watched them go astern, with tears in
my eyes, thinking how angry you would be."
"Well, but the chest, Frank, what became of the chest? You said that
the Vandals had some respect for heavy objects, and yours, I am sure, to
my cost, had very considerable specific gravity."
"That's very true, sir; but you have no notion how much it was lightened
the first day the ship got to sea. I was lying on it as sick as a
whale--the first lieutenant and mate of the lower deck came down to see
if the men's berths were clean; I and my Noah's ark, lay slap in the
way--`Who have we here?' said Mr Handstone. `Only Mr Mildmay, and his
chest, sir,' said the sergeant of marines, into whose territory I
acknowledged I had made very considerable incroachments. `Only!'
repeated the lieutenant, `I thought it had been one of the big stones
for the new bridge, and the owner of it a drunken Irish hodman.' I was
too sick to care much about what they said."
"You forget your breakfast," said my sister.
"I'll thank you for another muffin, and another cup of coffee," said I.
"Poor fellow!" said my mother, "what he must have suffered!"
"Oh! I have not told you half yet, my dear mother; I only wonder I am
alive."
"Alive, indeed!" said my Aunt Julia; "here, my dear, here is a small
trifle to help you to replenish the stock you have lost in the service
of your country. Noble little fellow! what should we do without
sailors?"
I pocketed the little donation--it was a ten-pounder; finished my
breakfast, by adding a slice of ham and half a French roll to the
articles already shipped, and then continued my story. "The first thing
Mr Handstone said, was, that my chest was too big; and the next thing
he said, was, `tell the carpenter I want him. Here, Mr Adze, take this
chest; reduce it one foot in length, and one in height.' `Ay, ay, sir,'
said Adze; `come, young gentleman, move off, and give me your key.'
Sick as I was, I knew remonstrance or prayer were alike useless, so I
crawled off and presented my key to the carpenter, who very deliberately
unlocked, and as expeditiously unloaded all my treasure. The midshipmen
all gathered round. The jars of preserves and the cakes of gingerbread
which you, my dearest mother, had so nicely packed up for me, were
seized with greediness, and devoured before my face. One of them thrust
his filthy paw into a pot of black currant jelly, which you gave me for
a sore throat, and held a handful of it to my mouth, knowing at the same
time that I was ready to be sea-sick in his hand."
"I shall never bear the sight of jelly again," said my sister.
"The nasty brutes!" said my aunt.
"Well," I resumed, "all my nice things went; and, sick as I was, I
wished them gone; but when they laughed and spoke disrespectfully of
you, my dear mother, I was ready to fly up and tear their eyes out."
"Never mind, my dear boy," said my mother, "we will make all right
again."
"So I suppose we must," said my father; "but no more jelly and
gingerbread, if you please, my dear. Proceed with your story, Frank."
"Well, sir, in half an hour my chest was ready for me again; but while
they were about it, they might have taken off another foot, for I found
ample space to stow what the plunderers had left. The preserve jars,
being all empty, were given, of course, to the marines; and some other
heavy articles being handed away, I was no longer puzzled how to stow
them. After this, you know, sir, we had the action, and then chest and
bedding and all went to the devil."
"Do they throw all the chests and bedding overboard on these occasions?"
said my father, with a cool and steady gaze in my face, which I had some
trouble in facing back again.
"Yes; always everything that is in the way, and my chest was in the way,
and away it went. You know, sir, I could not knock down the first
lieutenant: they would have hanged me at the yard-arm."
"Thank Heaven, you did not, my love," said my mother; "what _has_
happened can be repaired, but _that_ could never have been got over.
And your books, what is become of them?"
"All went in the lump. They are somewhere near the entrance of the Gut
of Gibraltar--all lost except my Bible: I saved that, as I happened to
be reading it in my berth the night before the action."
"Excellent boy!" exclaimed my mother and aunt both together; "I am sure
he speaks the truth."
"I hope he does," said my father, drily; "though it must be owned that
these sea-fights, however glorious for Old England, are very expensive
amusements to the parents of young midshipmen, unless the boys happen to
be knocked on the head."
Whether my father began to smell a rat, or whether he was afraid of
putting more questions, for fear of hearing more fibs, I know not; but I
was not sorry when the narrative was concluded, and I dismissed with
flying colours. To my shame be it spoken, the Bible that assisted me so
much in my mother's opinion, had never but once been opened since I had
left home, and that was to examine if there were any bank-notes between
the leaves, having heard of such things being done, merely to try
whether young gentlemen did "search the Scriptures."
My demands were all made good. I believe with the greater celerity, as
I began to grow very tiresome; my _sea_ manners were not congenial to
the drawing-room. My mother, aunt, and sister were very different from
the females I had been in the habit of seeing on board the frigate. My
oaths and treatment of the servants, male and female, all conspired to
reconcile the family to my departure. They therefore heard with
pleasure that my leave was expired; and, having obtained all I wanted, I
did not care one pin how soon I got clear of them; so when the coach
came to the door, I jumped in, drove to the Golden Cross, and the next
morning rejoined my ship.
I was received with cheerfulness and cordiality by most of my shipmates,
except Murphy and some of his cronies; nor did one feeling of regret or
compunction enter my mind for the lies and hypocrisy with which I had
deceived and cheated my parents. The reader will probably be aware that
except the circumstance of reducing the size of my chest, and the
seizure and confiscation of my jars and gingerbread, there was scarcely
a vestige of truth in my story. That I had lost most of my things was
quite true; but they were lost by my own carelessness, and not by being
thrown overboard. After losing the key of my chest, which happened the
day I joined, a rapid decrease of my stock convinced the first
lieutenant that a much smaller package might be made of the remainder,
and this was the sole cause of my chest being converted into a razee.
My fresh stock of clothes I brought down in a trunk, which I found very
handy, and contrived to keep in better order than I had formerly done.
The money given me to procure more bedding, I pocketed: indeed I began
to grow cunning. I perceived that the best-dressed midshipmen had
always the most pleasant duties to perform. I was sent to bring off
parties of ladies who came to visit the ship, and to dine with the
captain and officers. I had a tolerably good address, and was reckoned
a very handsome boy; and though stout of my age, the ladies admitted me
to great freedom, under pretence of my being still a dear little darling
of a middy, and so perfectly innocent in my mind and manners. The fact
is, I was kept in much better order on board my ship than I was in my
father's house--so much for the habit of discipline; but this was all
outside show. My father was a man of talent, and knew the world, but he
knew nothing of the navy; and when I had got him out of his depth, I
served him as I did the usher: that is I soused him and his company head
over heels in the horse-pond of their own ignorance. Such is the power
of local knowledge and cunning over abstruse science and experience.
So much assurance had I acquired by my recent success in town, that my
self-confidence was increased to an incredible degree. My apparent
candour, impudence, and readiness gave a currency to the coinings of my
brain which far surpassed the dull matter-of-fact of my unwary
contemporaries. Of my boyish days, I have now almost said enough. The
adventures of a midshipman, during the first three years of his
probationary life, might, if fully detailed, disgust more than amuse,
and corrupt more than they would improve; I therefore pass on to the age
of sixteen, when my person assumed an outline of which I had great
reason, to be proud, since I often heard it the subject of encomium
among the fair sex, and their award was confirmed even by my companions.
My mind kept pace with my person in every acquirement save those of
morality and religion. In these, alas! I became daily more and more
deficient, and for a time lost sight of them altogether. The manly
athletic frame and noble countenance with which I was blessed, served to
render me only more like a painted sepulchre--all was foul within. Like
a beautiful snake, whose poison is concealed under the gold and azure of
its scales, my inward man was made up of pride, revenge, deceit, and
selfishness, and my best talents were generally applied to the worst
purposes.
In the knowledge of my profession I made rapid progress, because I
delighted in it, and because my mind, active and elastic as my body,
required and fed on scientific research. I soon became an expert
navigator and a good practical seaman, and all this I acquired by my own
application. We had no schoolmaster; and while the other youngsters
learned how to work a common day's work from the instruction of the
older midshipmen, I, who was no favourite with the latter, was rejected
from their coteries. I determined, therefore, to supply the deficiency
myself, and this I was enabled to do by the help of a good education. I
had been well grounded in mathematics, and was far advanced in Euclid
and algebra previous to leaving school: thus I had a vast superiority
over my companions.
The great difficulty was to renew my application to study, after many
months of idleness. This, however, I accomplished, and after having
been one year at sea, kept a good reckoning and sent in my day's work to
the captain. The want of instruction which I first felt in the study of
navigation, proved in the end of great service to me: I was forced to
study more intensely, and to comprehend the principles on which I
founded my theory, so that I was prepared to prove by mathematical
demonstration, what others could only assert who worked by "inspection."
The pride of surpassing my seniors, and the hope of exposing their
ignorance, stimulated me to inquiry, and roused me to application. The
books which I had reported lost to my father, were handed out from the
bottom of my chest, and read with avidity: many others I borrowed from
the officers, whom, I must do the justice to say, not only lent them
with cheerfulness, but offered me the use of their cabin to study in.
Thus I acquired a taste for reading. I renewed my acquaintance with the
classic authors. Horace and Virgil, licentious, but alluring, drove me
back to the study of Latin, and fixed in my mind a knowledge of the dead
languages, at the expense of my morals. Whether the exchange were
profitable or not, is left to wiser heads than mine to decide; my
business is with facts only.
Thus, while the ungenerous malice of the elder midshipmen thought to
have injured me by leaving me in ignorance, they did me the greatest
possible service, by throwing me on my own resources. I continued on
pretty nearly the same terms with my shipmates to the last. With some
of the mess-room officers I was still in disgrace, and was always
disliked by the oldsters in my own mess; with the younger midshipmen and
the foremast men I was a favourite. I was too proud to be a tyrant, and
the same feeling prevented my submitting to tyranny. As I increased in
strength and stature, I showed more determined resistance to arbitrary
power: an occasional turn-up with boys of my own size (for the best
friends will quarrel) and the supernumerary midshipmen sent on board for
a passage, generally ended in establishing my dominion or insuring for
me a peaceable neutrality.
I became a scientific pugilist, and now and then took a brush with an
oldster; and although overpowered, yet I displayed so much prowess, that
my enemies became cautious how they renewed a struggle which they
perceived became daily more arduous; till, at last, like the lion's
whelp, my play ceased to be a joke, and I was left to enjoy that
tranquillity which few found it safe or convenient to disturb. By
degrees the balance of power was fairly established, and even Murphy was
awed into civil silence.
In addition to my well-known increase in personal strength, I acquired a
still greater superiority over my companions by the advantage of
education; and this I took great care to make them feel on every
occasion. I was appealed to in all cases of literary disputation, and
was, by general consent, the umpire of the steerage. I was termed "good
company,"--not always to the advantage of the possessor of such a
talent; for it often tends, as it did with me, to lead into very bad
company. I had a fine voice, and played on one or two instruments.
This frequently procured me invitations to the gun-room, and excuses
from duty, together with more wine or grog than was of service to me,
and conversation that I had better not have heard.
We were ordered on a cruise to the coast of France; and as the junior
port-admiral had a spite against our captain, he swore by God that go we
should, ready or not ready. Our signal was made to weigh while lighters
of provisions and the powder-boy with our powder were lying alongside--
the quarter-deck guns all adrift, and not even mounted. Gun after gun
from the _Royal William_ was repeated by the _Gladiator_, the flag-ship
of the harbour-admiral, and with our signal to part company.
The captain, not knowing how the story might travel up by telegraph to
London, and conscious, perhaps, that he had left a little too much to
the first lieutenant, "tore the ship away by the hair of the head"--
unmoored, bundled everything in upon deck out of the lighters--turned
all the women out of the ship, except five or six of the most
abandoned--and, with a strong northerly wind, ran down to Yarmouth
Roads, and through the Needles to sea, in a state of confusion and
disaster which I hope never to see again.
The rear-admiral, Sir Hurricane Humbug, stood on the platform looking at
us (I was afterwards told), and was heard to exclaim, "Damn his eyes"
(meaning our captain), "there he goes at last! I was afraid that that
fellow would have grounded on his beef bones before we should have got
him out!"
"The more haste the less speed," is oftener true in naval affairs than
in any other situation of life. With us it had nearly proved fatal to
the ship. Had we met with an enemy, we must either have disgraced the
flag by running away, or been taken. No sooner clear of the Needles
than night came on, and with it a heavy gale of wind at
north-north-west. The officers and men were at work till four in the
morning, securing the boats, booms, and anchors, clearing the decks of
provisions, and setting up the lower rigging, which, by the labour of
the ship, had begun to stretch to an alarming degree; by great exertion
this was accomplished, and the guns secured before the gale had
increased to a hurricane.
About nine the next morning, a poor marine, a recruit from Portsmouth,
unfortunately fell overboard; and though many brave fellows instantly
jumped into one of the quarter-boats, and begged to be lowered down to
save him, the captain, who was a cool calculator, thought the chance of
losing seven men was greater than that of saving one, so the poor fellow
was left to his fate. The ship, it is true, was hove-to; but she
drifted to leeward much faster than the unfortunate man could swim,
though he was one of the best swimmers I ever beheld.
It was heart-breaking to see the manly but ineffectual exertions made by
this gallant youth to regain the ship; but all his powers only served to
prolong his misery. We saw him nearly a mile to windward, at one moment
riding on the top of the mountainous wave, at the next, sinking into the
deep valley between, till at last we saw him no more! His sad fate was
long deplored in the ship. I thought at the time that the captain was
cruel in not sending a boat for him; but I am now convinced, from
experience, that he submitted only to hard necessity, and chose the
lesser evil of the two.
The fate of this young man was a serious warning to me. I had become
from habit so extremely active, and so fond of displaying my
newly-acquired gymnastics, called by the sailors "sky-larking," that my
speedy exit was often prognosticated by the old quarter-masters, and
even by the officers. It was clearly understood that I was either to be
drowned or was to break my neck; for the latter I took my chance pretty
fairly, going up and down the rigging like a monkey. Few of the topmen
could equal me in speed, still fewer surpass me in feats of daring
activity, could run along the topsail-yards out to the yard-arm, go from
one mast to the other by the stays, or down on deck in the twinkling of
an eye by the topsail halyards; and, as I knew myself to be an expert
swimmer, I cared little about the chance of being drowned; but when I
witnessed the fate of the poor marine, who I saw could swim as well if
not better than myself, I became much more cautious. I perceived that
there might be situations in which swimming could be of no use; and
however beloved I might have been by the sailors, it was evident that,
even if they had the inclination, they might not always have the power
to relieve me; from this time, I became much more guarded in my
movements aloft.
A circumstance occurred shortly after we got to sea which afforded me
infinite satisfaction. Murphy, whose disposition led him to bully every
one whom he thought he could master, fixed a quarrel on a very quiet,
gentlemanly young man, a supernumerary midshipman, who had come on board
for a passage to his own ship, then down in the Bay of Biscay. The
young man, resenting this improper behaviour, challenged Murphy to
fight, and the challenge was accepted; but as the supernumerary was
engaged to dine with the captain, he proposed that the meeting should
not take place till after dinner, not wishing to exhibit a black eye at
the captain's table. This was considered by Murphy as an evasion; and
he added further insult by saying that he supposed his antagonist wanted
Dutch courage, and that if he did not get wine enough in the cabin, he
would not fight at all.
The high-spirited youth made no reply to this insolence; but, having
dressed himself, went up to dinner; that over, and after the muster at
quarters, he called Mr Murphy into the steerage, and gave him as sound
a drubbing as he ever received in his life. The fight, or set-to,
lasted only a quarter of an hour, and the young supernumerary displayed
so much science, and such a thorough use of his fists, as to defy the
brutal force of his opponent, who could not touch him, and who was glad
to retreat to his berth, followed by the groans and hisses of all the
midshipmen, in which I most cordially joined. After so clear a proof of
the advantages of the science of self-defence, I determined to acquire
it; and, with the young stranger for my tutor, I soon became a
proficient in the art of boxing, and able to cope with Murphy and his
supporters.
There was a part of my duty which, I am free to confess, I hated: this
was keeping watch at night. I loved sleep, and, after ten o'clock, I
could not keep my eyes open. Neither the buckets of water which were so
liberally poured over me by the midshipmen, under the facetious
appellation of "blowing the grampus," nor any expostulation or
punishments inflicted on me by the first lieutenant, could rouse my
_dormant_ energies after the first half of the watch was expired. I was
one of the most determined votaries of Somnus; and for his sake endured
every sort of persecution. The first lieutenant took me into his watch,
and tried every means, both of mildness and coercion, to break me of
this evil habit. I was sure, however, to escape from him, and to
conceal myself in some hole or corner, where I slept out the remainder
of the watch; and the next morning I was as regularly mast-headed, to do
penance during the greater part of the day for my deeds of darkness. I
believe that of the first two years of my servitude, one-half of my
waking hours, at least, were passed aloft.
I took care, however, to provide myself with books, and, on the whole,
was perhaps better employed than I should have been in my berth below.
Handstone, though a martinet, was a gentleman; and as he felt a great
interest in the young officers in the ship, so he took much pains in the
instruction and improvement of them. He frequently expostulated with me
on the great impropriety of my conduct; my answer invariably was, that I
was as sensible of it as he could be, but that I could not help it; that
I deserved all the punishment I met with, and threw myself entirely on
his mercy. He used frequently to call me over to the weather side of
the deck, when he would converse with me on any topic which he thought
might interest or amuse me. Finding I was tolerably well read in
history, he asked my opinion, and gave me his own with great good sense
and judgment; but such was the irresistible weight of my eyelids, that I
used, when he was in the midst of a long dissertation, to slip down the
gangway-ladder, and leave him to finish his discourses to the wind.
Now, when this occurred, I was more severely punished than on any other
occasion; for, to the neglect of duty, I added contempt both of his rank
and the instruction he was offering to me. His wrath was also
considerably increased when he only discovered my departure by the
tittering of the other midshipmen and the quarter-master at the conn.
One evening I completed my disgrace with him, though a great deal might
be said in my own favour. He had sent me to the fore-top-mast-head, at
seven o'clock in the morning, and very unfeelingly, or forgetfully, kept
me there the whole day. When he went off deck to his dinner, I came
down into the top, made a bed for myself in one of the top-gallant
studding-sails, and, desiring the man who had the look-out to call me
before the lieutenant was likely to come on deck, I very quietly began
to prepare a sacrifice to my favourite deity, Somnus; but as the
look-out man did not see the lieutenant come up, I was caught napping
just at dusk, when the lieutenant came on deck and did me the honour to
remember where he had left me. Looking at the fore-top-mast-head, he
called me down.
Like Milton's devils, who were "found sleeping by one they dread," up I
sprung, and regained my perch by the topsail-tie, supposing, or rather
hoping, that he would not see me before the mast, in the obscurity of
the evening; but he was too lynx-eyed, and had not presence of mind
enough _not_ to see what he should not have seen. He called to the
three men in the top, and inquired where I was? They replied at the
mast-head. "What!" exclaimed Handstone, with an oath; "did I not see
him this moment go up by the topsail-tie?"
"No, sir," said the men; "he is now asleep at the mast-head."
"Come down here, you lying rascals, every one of you," said the
lieutenant, "and I'll teach you to speak the truth!"
I, who had by this time quietly resumed my station; was ordered down
along with them; and we all four stood on the quarter-deck, while the
following interrogations were put to us:--
"Now, sir," said the first lieutenant to the captain of the top, "how
dare you tell me that that young gentleman was at the mast-head, when I
myself saw him `shining' up by the topsail-tie?"
I was sorry for the men, who, to save me, had got themselves into
jeopardy; and I was just going to declare the truth, and take the whole
odium upon myself, when, to my utter astonishment, the man boldly
answered, "He _was_ at the mast-head, sir, upon my honour."
"Your honour!" cried the lieutenant, with contempt; then, turning to the
other men, he put the same question to them both in succession, and
received the same positive answers; so that I really began to think I
had been at the mast-head all the time, and had been dreaming I was in
the top. At last, turning to me, he said, "Now, sir, I ask you on your
honour, as an officer and a gentleman, where were you when I first
hailed?"
"At the mast-head, sir," said I.
"Be it so," he replied; "as you are an officer and a gentleman, I am
bound to believe you." Then turning on his heels, he walked away in a
greater rage than I ever remember to have seen him.
I plainly perceived that I was not believed, and that I had lost his
good opinion. Yet, to consider the case fairly and impartially, how
could I have acted otherwise? I had been much too long confined to the
mast-head--as long as a man might take to go from London to Bath in a
stage-coach; I had lost all my meals; and these poor fellows, to save me
from further punishment, had voluntarily exposed themselves to a
flogging at the gangway by telling a barefaced falsehood in my defence.
Had I not supported them, they would certainly have been flogged, and I
should have lost myself with every person aboard; I therefore came to
that paradoxical conclusion on the spot, namely, that, as a man of
honour and a gentleman, I was bound to tell a lie in order to save these
poor men from a cruel punishment.
I am sensible that this is a case to lay before the bench of bishops;
and though I never pretended to the constancy of a martyr, had the
consequences been on myself alone, I should have had no hesitation in
speaking the truth. The lieutenant was to blame, first, by too great a
severity; and, secondly, by too rigid an inquiry into a subject not
worth the trouble. Still my conscience smote me that I had done wrong;
and when the rage of the lieutenant had abated, so as to insure the
impunity of the men, I took the earliest opportunity of explaining to
him the motives for my conduct, and the painful situation in which I
stood. He received my excuses coldly, and we never were friends again.
Our captain, who was a dashing sort of a fellow, contrived to brush up
the enemy's quarters, on the coast of France. On one of our boat
expeditions, I contrived to slip away with the rest; we landed, and
surprised a battery, which we blew up, and spiked the guns. The French
soldiers ran for their lives, and we plundered the huts of some poor
fishermen. I went in with the rest, in hopes of finding plunder, and
for my desserts caught a Tartar. A large skate lay with its mouth open,
into which I thrust my forefinger, to drag him away; the animal was not
dead, and closing his jaws, divided my finger to the bone--this was the
only blood spilt on the occasion.
Though guilty myself, I was sorry to see the love of plunder prevail so
extensively among us. The sailors took away articles utterly useless to
them; and, after carrying them a certain distance, threw them down for
others equally useless. I have since often reflected how justly I was
punished for my fault; and how needlessly we inflicted the horrors of
war on those inoffensive and unhappy creatures. Our next attempt was of
a more serious nature, and productive of still greater calamity to the
unoffending and industrious, the usual victims of war, while the
instigators are reposing in safety on their down beds.