SGAN. I think he is greatly to be pitied.
ISA. Not at all.
SGAN. For the rest, your love touches me to the quick, little darling,
and I mean it shall have its reward. Eight days are too long for your
impatience; to-morrow I will marry you, and will not invite...
ISA. To-morrow!
SGAN. You modestly pretend to shrink from it; but I well know the joy
these words afford you; you wish it were already over.
ISA. But...
SGAN. Let us get everything ready for this marriage.
ISA. (_Aside_), Heaven! Inspire me with a plan to put it off!
ACT III.
SCENE I.--ISABELLA, _alone_.
Yes, death seems to me a hundred times less dreadful than this fatal
marriage into which I am forced; all that I am doing to escape its
horrors should excuse me in the eyes of those who blame me. Time
presses; it is night; now, then, let me fearlessly entrust my fate to a
lover's fidelity.
SCENE II.--SGANARELLE, ISABELLA.
SGAN. (_Speaking to those inside the house_). Here I am once more;
to-morrow they are going, in my name...
ISA. O Heaven!
SGAN. Is it you, darling? Where are you going so late? You said when I
left you that, being rather tired, you would shut yourself up in your
room; you even begged that on my return I would let you be quiet till
to-morrow morning....
ISA. It is true; but...
SGAN. But what?
ISA. You see I am confused; I do not know how to tell you the reason.
SGAN. Why, whatever can it be?
ISA. A wonderful secret! It is my sister who now compels me to go out,
and who, for a purpose for which I have greatly blamed her, has borrowed
my room, in which I have shut her up.
SGAN. What?
ISA. Could it be believed? She is in love with that suitor whom we have
discarded.
SGAN. With Valère?
ISA. Desperately! Her passion is so great that I can compare it with
nothing; you may judge of its violence by her coming here alone, at this
hour, to confide to me her love, and to tell me positively that she will
die if she does not obtain the object of her desire; that, for more than
a year, a secret intercourse has kept up the ardour of their love; and
that they had even pledged themselves to marry each other when their
passion was new.
SGAN. Oh, the wretched girl!
ISA. That, being informed of the despair into which I had plunged the
man whom she loves to see, she came to beg me to allow her to prevent a
departure which would break her heart; to meet this lover to-night under
my name, in the little street on which my room looks, where
counterfeiting my voice, she may utter certain tender feelings, and
thereby tempt him to stay; in short, cleverly to secure for herself the
regard which it is known he has for me.
SGAN. And do you think this...
ISA. I? I am enraged at it. "What," said I, "sister, are you mad? Do you
not blush to indulge in such a love for one of those people who change
every day? To forget your sex, and betray the trust put in you by the
man whom Heaven has destined you to marry?"
SGAN. He deserves it richly; I am delighted by it.
ISA. Finally my vexation employed a hundred arguments to reprove such
baseness in her, and enable me to refuse her request for to-night; but
she became so importunate, shed so many tears, heaved so many sighs,
said so often that I was driving her to despair if I refused to gratify
her passion, that my heart was brought to consent in spite of me; and,
to justify this night's intrigue, to which affection for my own sister
made me assent, I was about to bring Lucretia to sleep with me, whose
virtues you extol to me daily; but you surprised me by your speedy
return.
SGAN. No, no, I will not have all this mystery at my house. As for my
brother, I might agree to it; but they may be seen by some one in the
street, and she whom I am to honour with my body must not only be modest
and well-born; she must not even be suspected. Let us send the miserable
girl away, and let her passion...
ISA. Ah, you would overwhelm her with confusion, and she might justly
complain of my want of discretion. Since I must not countenance her
design, at least wait till I send her away.
SGAN. Well, do so.
ISA. But above all, conceal yourself, I beg of you, and be content to
see her depart without speaking one word to her.
SGAN. Yes, for your sake I will restrain my anger; but as soon as she is
gone, I will go and find my brother without delay. I shall be delighted
to run and tell him of this business.
ISA. I entreat you, then, not to mention my name. Good night; for I
shall shut myself in at the same time.
SGAN. Till to-morrow, dear... How impatient I am to see my brother, and
tell him of his plight! The good man has been victimized, with all his
bombast!
[Footnote: The original has _phébus_, which is often used for a
swollen and pretentious style, because it is said that a work on the
chase, written in the fourteenth century by Gaston, Count of Foix, in
such a style, was called _Miroir de Phébus_. It is more probable
that the word _phébus_, meaning showy language, is derived from the
Greek _phoibos_, brilliant.]
I would not have this undone for twenty crowns!
ISA. (_Within_). Yes, sister, I am sorry to incur your displeasure;
but what you wish me to do is impossible. My honour, which is dear to
me, would run too great a risk. Farewell, go home before it is too late.
SGAN. There she goes, fretting finely, I warrant. Let me lock the door,
for fear she should return.
ISA. (_Going out disguised_). Heaven! abandon me not in my resolve!
SGAN. Whither can she be going? Let me follow her.
ISA. (_Aside_). Night, at least, favours me in my distress.
SGAN. (_Aside_). To the gallant's house! What is her design?
SCENE III.--VALÈRE, ISABELLA, SGANARELLE.
VAL. (_Coming out quickly_). Yes, yes; I will this night make some
effort to speak to... Who is there?
ISA. (_To Valère_). No noise, Valère; I have forestalled you; I am
Isabella.
SGAN. (_Aside_). You lie, minx; it is not she. She is too staunch
to those laws of honour which you forsake; you are falsely assuming her
name and voice.
ISA. (_To Valère_). But unless by the holy bonds of matrimony...
VAL. Yes; that is my only purpose; and here I make you a solemn promise
that to-morrow I will go wherever you please to be married to you.
SGAN. (_Aside_). Poor deluded fool!
VAL. Enter with confidence. I now defy the power of your duped Argus;
before he can tear you from my love, this arm shall stab him to the
heart a thousand times.
SCENE IV.--SGANARELLE, _alone_.
Oh, I can assure you I do not want to take from you a shameless girl, so
blinded by her passion. I am not jealous of your promise to her; if I am
to be believed, you shall be her husband. Yes, let us surprise him with
this bold creature. The memory of her father, who was justly respected,
and the great interest I take in her sister, demand that an attempt, at
least, should be made to restore her honour. Hulloa, there! (_Knocks
at the door of a magistrate_).
[Footnote: See page 261, note 5.]
SCENE V.--SGANARELLE, A MAGISTRATE, A NOTARY, ATTENDANT _with a
lantern_.
MAG. What is it?
SGAN. Your servant, your worship. Your presence in official garb is
necessary here. Follow me, please, with your lantern-bearer.
MAG. We were going...
SGAN. This is a very pressing business.
MAG. What is it?
SGAN. To go into that house and surprise two persons who must be joined
in lawful matrimony. It is a girl with whom I am connected, and whom,
under promise of marriage, a certain Valère has seduced and got into his
house. She comes of a noble and virtuous family, but...
MAG. If that is the business, it was well you met us, since we have a
notary here.
SGAN. Sir?
NOT. Yes, a notary royal.
MAG. And what is more, an honourable man.
SGAN. No need to add that. Come to this doorway; make no noise, but see
that no one escapes. You shall be fully satisfied for your trouble, but
be sure and do not let yourself be bribed.
MAG. What! do you think that an officer of justice...
SGAN. What I said was not meant as a reflection on your position. I will
bring my brother here at once; only let the lantern-bearer accompany me.
(_Aside_). I am going to give this placable man a treat. Hulloa!
(_Knocks at Ariste's door_).
* * * * *
SCENE VI.--ARISTE, SGANARELLE.
AR. Who knocks? Why, what do you want, brother?
SGAN. Come, my fine teacher, my superannuated buck; I shall have
something pretty to show you.
AR. How?
SGAN. I bring you good news.
AR. What is it?
SGAN. Where is your Léonor, pray?
AR. Why this question? She is, as I think, at a friend's house at a
ball.
SGAN. Eh! Oh yes! Follow me; you shall see to what ball Missy is gone.
AR. What do you mean?
SGAN. You have brought her up very well indeed. It is not good to be
always finding fault; the mind is captivated by much tenderness; and
suspicious precautions, bolts, and bars, make neither wives nor maids
virtuous; we cause them to do evil by so much austerity; their sex
demands a little freedom. Of a verity she has taken her fill of it, the
artful girl; and with her, virtue has grown very complaisant.
AR. What is the drift of such a speech?
SGAN. Bravo, my elder brother! it is what you richly deserve; I would
not for twenty pistoles that you should have missed this fruit of your
silly maxims. Look what our lessons have produced in these two sisters:
the one avoids the gallants, the other runs after them.
AR. If you will not make your riddle clearer...
SGAN. The riddle is that her ball is at Valère's; that I saw her go to
him under cover of night, and that she is at this moment in his arms.
AR. Who?
SGAN. Léonor.
AR. A truce to jokes, I beg of you.
SGAN. I joke... He is excellent with his joking! Poor fellow! I tell
you, and tell you again, that Valère has your Léonor in his house, and
that they had pledged each other before he dreamed of running after
Isabella.
AR. This story is so very improbable...
SGAN. He will not believe it, even when he sees it. I am getting angry;
upon my word, old age is not good for much when brains are wanting!
(_Laying his finger on his forehead_).
AR. What! brother, you mean to...
SGAN. I mean nothing, upon my soul! Only follow me. Your mind shall be
satisfied directly. You shall see whether I am deceiving you, and
whether they have not pledged their troth for more than a year past.
AR. Is it likely she could thus have agreed to this engagement without
telling me?--me! who in everything, from her infancy, ever displayed
towards her a complete readiness to please, and who a hundred times
protested I would never force her inclinations.
SGAN. Well, your own eyes shall judge of the matter. I have already
brought here a magistrate and a notary. We are concerned that the
promised marriage shall at once restore to her the honour she has lost;
for I do not suppose you are so mean-spirited as to wish to marry her
with this stain upon her, unless you have still some arguments to raise
you above all kinds of ridicule.
AR. For my part, I shall never be so weak as wish to possess a heart in
spite of itself. But, after all, I cannot believe...
SGAN. What speeches you make! Come, this might go on for ever.
SCENE VII.--SGANARELLE, ARISTE, A MAGISTRATE, A NOTARY.
MAG. There is no need to use any compulsion here, gentlemen. If you wish
to have them married, your anger may be appeased on the spot. Both are
equally inclined to it; Valère has already given under his hand a
statement that he considers her who is now with him as his wife.
AR. The girl...
MAG. Is within, and will not come out, unless you consent to gratify
their desires.
SCENE VIII.--VALÈRE, A MAGISTRATE, A NOTARY, SGANARELLE, ARISTE.
VAL. (_At the window of his house_). No, gentlemen; no man shall
enter here until your pleasure be known to me. You know who I am; I have
done my duty in signing the statement, which they can show you. If you
intend to approve of the marriage, you must also put your names to this
agreement; if not, prepare to take my life before you shall rob me of
the object of my love.
SGAN. No, we have no notion of separating you from her. (_Aside_).
He has not yet been undeceived in the matter of Isabella. Let us make
the most of his mistake.
AR. (_To Valère_). But is it Léonor?
SGAN. Hold your tongue!
AR. But...
SGAN. Be quiet!
AR. I want to know...
SGAN. Again! Will you hold your tongue, I say?
VAL. To be brief: whatever be the consequence, Isabella has my solemn
promise; I also have hers; if you consider everything, I am not so bad a
match that you should blame her.
AR. What he says is not...
SGAN. Be quiet! I have a reason for it. You shall know the mystery.
(_To Valére_). Yes, without any more words, we both consent that
you shall be the husband of her who is at present in your house.
MAG. The contract is drawn up in those very terms, and there is a blank
for the name, as we have not seen her. Sign. The lady can set you all at
ease by-and-by.
VAL. I agree to the arrangement.
SGAN. And so do I, with all my heart. (_Aside_). We will have a
good laugh presently. (_Aloud)_. There, brother, sign; yours the
honour to sign first.
AR. But why all this mystery...
SGAN. The deuce! what hesitation. Sign, you simpleton.
AR. He talks of Isabella, and you of Léonor.
SGAN. Are you not agreed, brother, if it be she, to leave them to their
mutual promises?
AR. Doubtless.
SGAN. Sign, then; I shall do the same.
AR. So be it. I understand nothing about it.
SGAN. You shall be enlightened.
MAG. We will soon return.
(_Exeunt Magistrate and Notary into Valeère's house_).
SGAN. (_To Ariste_). Now, then, I will give you a cue to this
intrigue. (_They retire to the back of the stage_).
SCENE IX.--LÉONOR, SGANARELLE, ARISTE, LISETTE.
LEO. Ah, what a strange martyrdom! What bores all those young fools
appear to me! I have stolen away from the ball, on account of them.
LIS. Each of them tried to make himself agreeable to you.
LEO. And I never endured anything more intolerable. I should prefer the
simplest conversation to all the babblings of these say-nothings.
[Footnote: The original has _contes bleus_, literally "blue
stories" because old tales, such as _The Four Sons of Aymon,
Fortunatus, Valentine and Orson_ were formerly sold, printed on
coarse paper and with blue paper cover; a kind of popular, but not
political, "blue-books."]
They fancy that everything must give way before their flaxen wigs, and
think they have said the cleverest witticism when they come up, with
their silly chaffing tone, and rally you stupidly about the love of an
old man. For my part, I value more highly the affection of such an old
man than all the giddy raptures of a youthful brain. But do I not see...
SGAN (_To Ariste_). Yes, so the matter stands. (_Perceiving
Léonor_). Ah, there she is, and her maid with her.
AR. Léonor, without being angry, I have reason to complain. You know
whether I have ever sought to restrain you, and whether I have not
stated a hundred times that I left you full liberty to gratify your own
wishes; yet your heart, regardless of my approval, has pledged its
faith, as well as its love, without my knowledge. I do not repent of my
indulgence; but your conduct certainly annoys me; it is a way of acting
which the tender friendship I have borne you does not merit.
LEO. I know not why you speak to me thus; but believe me, I am as I have
ever been; nothing can alter my esteem for you; love for any other man
would seem to me a crime; if you will satisfy my wishes, a holy bond
shall unite us to-morrow.
AR. On what foundation, then, have you, brother...
SGAN. What! Did you not come out of Valère's house? Have you not been
declaring your passion this very day? And have you not been for a year
past in love with him?
LEO. Who has been painting such pretty pictures of me? Who has been at
the trouble of inventing such falsehoods?
SCENE X.--ISABELLA, VALÈRE, LÉONOR, ARISTE, SGANARELLE, MAGISTRATE,
NOTARY, LISETTE, ERGASTE.
ISA. Sister, I ask you generously to pardon me, if, by the freedom I
have taken, I have brought some scandal upon your name. The urgent
pressure of a great necessity, suggested to me, some time ago, this
disgraceful stratagem. Your example condemns such an escapade; but
fortune treated us differently. (_To Sganarelle_). As for you, sir,
I will not excuse myself to you. I serve you much more than I wrong you.
Heaven did not design us for one another. As I found I was unworthy of
your love, and undeserving of a heart like yours, I vastly preferred to
see myself in another's hands.
VAL. (_To Sganarelle_). For me, I esteem it my greatest glory and
happiness to receive her, sir, from your hands.
AR. Brother, you must take this matter quietly. Your own conduct is the
cause of this. I can see it is your unhappy lot that no one will pity
you, though they know you have been made a fool of.
LIS. Upon my word, I am glad of this. This reward of his mistrust is a
striking retribution.
LEO. I do not know whether the trick ought to be commended; but I am
quite sure that I, at least, cannot blame it.
ERG. His star condemns him to be a cuckold; it is lucky for him he is
only a retrospective one.
SGAN. (_Recovering from the stupor into which he had been
plunged_). No, I cannot get the better of my astonishment. This
faithlessness perplexes my understanding. I think that Satan in person
could be no worse than such a jade! I could have sworn it was not in
her. Unhappy he who trusts a woman after this! The best of them are
always full of mischief; they were made to damn the whole world. I
renounce the treacherous sex for ever, and give them to the devil with
all my heart!
ERG. Well said.
AR. Let us all go to my house. Come, M. Valère, tomorrow we will try to
appease his wrath.
LIS. (_To the audience_). As for you, if you know any churlish
husbands, by all means send them to school with us.
[Footnote: This is the last time Molière directly addressed the audience
at the end of one of his plays; in _Sganarelle_ he did it for the
first time.]