How I kept house. -- Maori freebooters. -- An ugly customer. --
The "suaviter in modo." -- A single combat to amuse the ladies.
-- The true Maori gentleman. -- Character of the Maori people.
I never yet could get the proper knack of telling a story. Here I am
now, a good forty years ahead of where I ought to be, talking of
"title deeds" and "land commissioners," things belonging to the new
and deplorable state of affairs which began when this country became
"a British colony and possession," and also "one of the brightest
jewels in the British crown." I must go back.
Having purchased my "estate," I set up housekeeping. My house was a
good commodious _raupo_ building; and as I had a princely income of a
few hundred a year "in trade," I kept house in a very magnificent and
hospitable style. I kept always eight stout paid Maori retainers, the
pay being one fig of tobacco per week, and their potatoes, which was
about as much more. Their duties were not heavy; being chiefly to
amuse themselves fishing, wrestling, shooting pigeons, or pig-hunting,
with an occasional pull in the boat when I went on a water excursion.
Besides these paid retainers, there was always about a dozen
hangers-on, who considered themselves a part of the establishment, and
who, no doubt, managed to live at my expense; but as that expense was
merely a few hundredweight of potatoes a week, and an odd pig now and
then, it was not perceptible in the good old times. Indeed these
hangers-on, as I call them, were necessary; for now and then, in those
brave old times, little experiments would be made by certain Maori
gentlemen of freebooting propensities, and who were in great want of
"British manufactures," to see what could be got by bullying "the
pakeha," and to whom a good display of physical force was the only
argument worth notice. These gentry generally came from a long
distance, made a sudden appearance, and, thanks to my faithful
retainers, who, as a matter of course, were all bound to fight for me,
though I should have found it hard to get much _work_ out of them,
made as sudden a retreat, though on one or two occasions, when my
standing army were accidentally absent, I had to do battle
single-handed. I think I have promised somewhere that I would perform
a single combat for the amusement of the ladies, and so I may as well
do it now as at any other time. I shall, therefore, recount a little
affair I had with one of these gentry, as it is indeed quite necessary
I should, if I am to give any true idea of "the good old times." I
must, however, protest against the misdeeds of a few ruffians--human
wolves--being charged against the whole of their countrymen. At the
time I am speaking of, the only restraint on such people was the fear
of retaliation, and the consequence was, that often a dare-devil
savage would run a long career of murder, robbery, and outrage before
meeting with a check, simply from the terror he inspired, and the
"luck" which often accompanies outrageous daring. At a time, however,
and in a country like New Zealand, where every man was a fighting man
or nothing, these desperadoes, sooner or later, came to grief, being
at last invariably shot, or run through the body, by some sturdy
freeholder, whose rights they had invaded. I had two friends staying
with me, young men who had come to see me from the neighbouring
colonies, and to take a summer tour in New Zealand; and it so happened
that no less than three times during my absence from home, and when I
had taken almost all my people along with me, my castle had been
invaded by one of the most notorious ruffians who had ever been an
impersonation of, or lived by, the law of force. This interesting
specimen of the _genus homo_ had, on the last of these visits,
demanded that my friends should hand over to him one pair of blankets;
but as the prospectus he produced, with respect to payment, was not at
all satisfactory, my friends declined to enter into the speculation,
the more particularly as the blankets were mine. Our freebooting
acquaintance then, to explain his views more clearly, knocked both my
friends down; threatened to kill them both with his tomahawk; then
rushed into the bed-room, dragged out all the bed-clothes, and burnt
them on the kitchen fire.
This last affair was rather displeasing to me. I held to the theory
that every Englishman's house was his castle, and was moreover rather
savage at my guests having been so roughly handled. I in fact began to
feel that though I had up to this time managed to hold my own pretty
well, I was at last in danger of falling under the imposition of
"black mail," and losing my _status_ as an independent potentate--a
_rangatira_ of the first water. I then and there declared loudly that
it was well for the offender that I had not been at home, and that if
ever he tried his tricks with _me_ he would find out his mistake.
These declarations of war, I perceived, were heard by my men in a sort
of incredulous silence, (silence in New Zealand gives _dis_-sent,) and
though the fellows were stout chaps, who would not mind a row with any
ordinary mortal, I verily believe they would have all ran at the first
appearance of this redoubted ruffian. Indeed his antecedents had been
such as might have almost been their excuse. He had killed several men
in fair fight, and had also--as was well known--committed two most
diabolical murders, one of which was on his own wife, a fine young
woman, whose brains he blew out at half a second's notice for no
further provocation than this:--He was sitting in the verandah of his
house, and told her to bring him a light for his pipe. She, being
occupied in domestic affairs, said, "Can't you fetch it yourself? I am
going for water." She had the calibash in her hand and their infant
child on her back. He snatched up his gun and instantly shot her dead
on the spot; and I had heard him afterwards describing quite coolly
the comical way in which her brains had been knocked out by the shot
with which the gun was loaded. He also had, for some trifling
provocation, lopped off the arm of his own brother or cousin, I forget
which, and was, altogether, from his tremendous bodily strength and
utter insensibility to danger, about as "ugly a customer" as one would
care to meet.
I am now describing a regular Maori ruffian of the good old times, the
natural growth of a state of society wherein might was to a very great
extent right, and where bodily strength and courage were almost the
sole qualities for which a man was respected or valued. He was a
bullet-headed, scowling, bow-legged, broad-shouldered, herculean
savage, and all these qualifications combined made him unquestionably
"a great _rangatira_," and, as he had never been defeated, his _mana_
was in full force.
A few weeks after the affair of the blankets, as I was sitting all
alone reading a Sydney newspaper, which, being only a year old, was
highly interesting, my friends and all my natives having gone on an
expedition to haul a large fishing net, who should I see enter the
room and squat down on the floor, as if taking permanent possession,
but the amiable and highly interesting individual I have taken so much
trouble to describe. He said nothing, but his posture and countenance
spoke whole volumes of defiance and murderous intent. He had heard of
the threats I had made against him, and there he was, let me turn him
out if I dare. That was his meaning--there was no mistaking it.
I have all my life been an admirer of the _suaviter in modo_, though
it is quite out of place in New Zealand. If you tell a man--a Maori I
mean--in a gentle tone of voice and with a quiet manner, that if he
continues a given line of conduct you will begin to commence to knock
him down, he simply disbelieves you, and thereby forces you to do that
which, if you could have persuaded yourself to have spoken very
uncivilly at first, there would have been no occasion for. I have seen
many proofs of this, and though I have done my best for many years to
improve the understanding of my Maori friends in this particular, I
find still there are but very few who can understand at all how it is
possible that the _suaviter in modo_ can be combined with the
_fortiter in re_. They in fact can't understand it for some reason
perfectly inexplicable to me. It was, however, quite a matter of
indifference, I could perceive, how I should open proceedings with my
friend, as he evidently meant mischief. "Habit is second nature," so I
instinctively took to the _suaviter_. "Friend," said I, in a very mild
tone and with as amiable a smile as I could get up, in spite of a
certain clenching of the teeth which somehow came on me at the moment,
"my advice to you is to be off." He seemed to nestle himself firmer in
his seat, and made no answer but a scowl of defiance. "I am thinking,
friend, that this is my house," said I, and springing upon him I
placed my foot to his shoulder, and gave a shove which would have sent
most people heels over head. Not so, however, with my friend. It shook
him, certainly, a little; but in an instant, as quick as lightning,
and as it appeared with a single motion, he bounded from the ground,
flung his mat away over his head, and struck a furious blow at my head
with his tomahawk. I escaped instant death by a quickness equal to or
greater than his own. My eye was quick, and so was my arm; life was at
stake. I caught the tomahawk in full descent; the edge grazed my hand;
but my arm, stiffened like a bar of iron, arrested the blow. He made
one furious, but ineffectual, effort to tear the tomahawk from my
grasp; and then we seized one another round the middle, and struggled
like maniacs in the endeavour to dash each other against the boarded
floor, I holding on for dear life to the tomahawk, and making
desperate efforts to get it from him, but without a chance of success,
as it was fastened to his wrist by a strong thong of leather. He was,
as I soon found, somewhat stronger than me, and heavier; but I was as
active as a cat, and as long-winded as an emu, and very far from weak.
At last he got a _wiri_ round my leg; and had it not been for the
table on which we both fell, and which, in smashing to pieces, broke
our fall, I might have been disabled, and in that case instantly
tomahawked. We now rolled over and over on the floor like two mad
bulldogs; he trying to bite, and I trying to stun him by dashing his
bullet head against the floor. Up again!--still both holding on to the
tomahawk. Another furious struggle, in the course of which both our
heads, and half our bodies, were dashed through the two glass windows
in the room, and every single article of furniture was reduced to
atoms. Down again, rolling like mad, and dancing about amongst the
rubbish--the wreck of the house. By this time we were both covered
with blood from various wounds, received I don't know how. I had been
all this time fighting under a great disadvantage, for my friend was
trying to kill me, and I was only trying to disarm and tie him up--a
much harder thing than to kill. My reason for going to this trouble
was, that as there were no witnesses to the row, if I killed him, I
might have had serious difficulties with his tribe. Up again; another
terrific tussle for the tomahawk; down again with a crash; and so this
life or death battle went on, down and up, up and down, for a full
hour. At last I perceived that my friend was getting weaker, and felt
that victory was only now a question of time. I, so far from being
fatigued, was even stronger. Another desperate wrestling match. I
lifted my friend high in my arms, and dashed him, panting, furious,
foaming at the mouth, but _beaten_, against the ground. There he lies;
the worshipper of force. His god has deserted him. But no, not yet. He
has one more chance, and a fatal one it nearly proved to me. I began
to unfasten the tomahawk from his wrist. An odd expression came over
his countenance. He spoke for the first time. "Enough, I am beaten;
let me rise." Now I had often witnessed the manly and becoming manner
in which some Maoris can take defeat, when they have been defeated in
what they consider fair play. I had also ceased to fear my friend, and
so incautiously let go his left arm. Like lightning he snatched at a
large carving fork which, unperceived by me, was lying on the floor
amongst the smashed furniture and _debris_ of my household effects;
his fingers touched the handle, and it rolled away out of his reach,
and my life was saved. He then struck me with all his remaining force
on the side of the head, causing the blood to flow out of my mouth.
One more short struggle, and he was conquered. But now I had at last
got angry. The drunkenness, the exhilaration of fight, which comes on
some constitutions, was fairly on me. I had also a consciousness that
now I must kill my man, or, sooner or later, he would kill me. I
thought of the place I would bury him; how I would stun him first with
the back of the tomahawk, to prevent too much blood being seen; how I
would then carry him off (I could carry two such men now, easy). I
would _murder_ him and cover him up. I unwound the tomahawk from his
wrist: he was passive and helpless now. I wished he was stronger, and
told him to get up and "die standing," as his countrymen say. I
clutched the tomahawk for the _coup-de-grace_, (I can't help it, young
ladies, the devil is in me,)--at this instant a thundering sound of
feet is heard,--a whole tribe are coming! Now am I either lost or
saved!--saved from doing that which I should afterwards repent, though
constrained by necessity to do it. The rush of charging feet comes
closer. In an instant comes dashing and smashing through doors and
windows, in breathless haste and alarm, a whole tribe of friends.
Small ceremony now with my antagonist. He was dragged by the heels,
stamped on, kicked, and thrown half-dead, or nearly quite dead, into
his canoe. All the time we had been fighting a little slave imp of a
boy belonging to my antagonist had been loading the canoe with my
goods and chattels, and had managed to make a very fair plunder of it.
These were all now brought back by my friends, except one cloth
jacket, which happened to be concealed under the _whariki_, and which
I only mention because I remember that the attempt to recover it some
time afterwards cost one of my friends his life. The savage scoundrel
who had so nearly done for me, broke two of his ribs, and so otherwise
injured him that he never recovered, and died after lingering about a
year. My friends were going on a journey, and had called to see me as
they passed. They saw the slave boy employed as I have stated, and
knowing to whom he belonged had rushed at once to the rescue, little
expecting to find me alive. I may as well now dispose of this friend
of mine by giving his after history. He for a long time after our
fight went continually armed with a double gun, and said he would
shoot me wherever he met me; he however had had enough of attacking me
in my "castle," and so did not call there any more. I also went
continually armed, and took care also to have always some of my people
at hand. After this, this fellow committed two more murders, and also
killed in fair fight with his own hand the first man in a native
battle, in which the numbers on each side were about three hundred,
and which I witnessed. The man he killed was a remarkably fine young
fellow, a great favourite of mine. At last, having attacked and
attempted to murder another native, he was shot through the heart by
the person he attempted to murder, and fell dead on the spot, and so
there died "a great _rangatira_." His tribe quietly buried him and
said no more about it, which showed their sense of right. Had he been
killed in what they considered an unjust manner, they would have
revenged his death at any cost; but I have no doubt they themselves
were glad to get rid of him, for he was a terror to all about him. I
have been in many a scrape both by sea and land, but I must confess
that I never met a more able hand at an argument than this Maori
_rangatira_.
I have not mentioned my friend's name with whom I had this discussion
on the rights of Englishmen, because he has left a son, who is a great
_rangatira_, and who might feel displeased if I was too particular,
and I am not quite so able now to carry out a "face-to-face" policy as
I was a great many years ago; besides there is a sort of "honour
amongst thieves" feeling between myself and my Maori friends on
certain matters which we mutually understand are not for the ears of
the "new people."
Now, ladies, I call that a fairish good fight, considering no one is
killed on either side. I promise to be good in future and to keep the
peace, if people will let me; and indeed, I may as well mention, that
from that day to this I have never had occasion to explain again to a
Maori how it is that "every Englishman's house is his castle."
"Fair play is a jewel;" and I will here, as bound in honour to do,
declare that I have met amongst the natives with men who would be a
credit to any nation; men on whom nature had plainly stamped the mark
of "Noble," of the finest bodily form, quick and intelligent in mind,
polite and brave, and capable of the most self-sacrificing acts for
the good of others; patient, forbearing, and affectionate in their
families; in a word, gentlemen. These men were the more remarkable, as
they had grown up surrounded by a set of circumstances of the most
unfavourable kind for the development of the qualities of which they
were possessed; and I have often looked on with admiration, when I
have seen them protesting against, and endeavouring to restrain some
of, the dreadful barbarities of their countrymen.
As for the Maori people in general, they are neither so good or so bad
as their friends and enemies have painted them, and I suspect are
pretty much like what almost any other people would have become, if
subjected for ages to the same external circumstances. For ages they
have struggled against necessity in all its shapes. This has given to
them a remarkable greediness for gain in every visible and immediately
tangible form. It has even left its mark on their language. Without
the aid of iron the most trifling tool or utensil could only be
purchased by an enormously disproportionate outlay of labour in its
construction, and, in consequence, became precious to a degree
scarcely conceivable by people of civilised and wealthy countries.
This great value attached to personal property of all kinds,
increased proportionately the temptation to plunder; and where no law
existed, or could exist, of sufficient force to repress the
inclination, every man, as a natural consequence, became a soldier, if
it were only for the defence of his own property and that of those who
were banded with him--his tribe, or family. From this state of things
regular warfare arose, as a matter of course; the military art was
studied as a science, and brought to great perfection as applied to
the arms used; and a marked military character was given to the
people. The necessity of labour, the necessity of warfare, and a
temperate climate, gave them strength of body, accompanied by a
perseverance and energy of mind perfectly astonishing. With rude and
blunt stones they felled the giant kauri--toughest of pines; and from
it, in process of time, at an expense of labour, perseverance, and
ingenuity perfectly astounding to those who know what it really
was--produced, carved, painted, and inlaid, a masterpiece of art, and
an object of beauty--the war canoe, capable of carrying a hundred men
on a distant expedition, through the boisterous seas surrounding their
island.
As a consequence of their warlike habits and character, they are
self-possessed and confident in themselves and their own powers, and
have much diplomatic finesse and casuistry at command. Their
intelligence causes them theoretically to acknowledge the benefits of
law, which they see established amongst us, but their hatred of
restraint causes them practically to abhor and resist its full
enforcement amongst themselves. Doubting our professions of
friendship, fearing our ultimate designs, led astray by false friends,
possessed of that "little learning" which is, in their case, most
emphatically "a dangerous thing," divided amongst themselves,--such
are the people with whom we are now in contact,--such the people to
whom, for our own safety and their preservation, we must give new laws
and institutions, new habits of life, new ideas, sentiments, and
information,--whom we must either civilise or by our mere contact
exterminate. How is this to be done?[5] Let me see. I think I shall
answer this question when I am prime minister.
[Footnote 5: PRINTER'S DEVIL:--How is _this_ to be done?--_which?_
_what?_--how?--_civilise_ or _exterminate_? PAKEHA MAORI:--_Eaha
mau!_]