* * * * *
A laconic epitaph:
Snug.
* * * * *
Since all that's mortal turns to dust
Reader! be humble and be just;
'Twill ease thy mind of anxious care
And sooth thy passage--_God knows where!_
* * * * *
On this marble drop a tear--
Here lies poor Rosalind:
All mankind were pleas'd with her
And she with all mankind.
* * * * *
Pray for me, old Thomas Dunn
But if you don't, tis all one.
* * * * *
To the memory of Thomas Hause:
"Lord, thy grace is free,--why not for me?"
This man dying greatly in debt, one of his creditors wrote underneath:
And the Lord answered and said,--
"Because thy debts aint paid!"
* * * * *
Our bodies are like shoes, which off we cast,
Physic their cobblers, and Death their last.
* * * * *
Who lies here?--Who do you think?
'Tis poor Will Gibson--give him a drink.
Give him a drink, I'll tell you for why,
When he was living, he always was dry.
* * * * *
Old Vicar Sutor lieth here
Who had a Mouth from ear to ear,
Reader tread lightly on the sod,
For if he gapes, you're gone by G--.
* * * * *
On John Phillips:
Accidentally shot as a mark of affection by his brother.
* * * * *
The little hero that lies here
Was conquered by the diarrhoea.
* * * * *
My wife lies here,
All my tears cannot bring her back;
Therefore, I weep.
* * * * *
Died when young and full of promise
Of whooping cough our Thomas.
* * * * *
A rum cough carried him off.
* * * * *
Grim death took little Jerry,
The son of Joseph and Sereno Howells,
Seven days he wrestled with the dysentery
And then he perished in his little bowels
* * * * *
On a tombstone in Grafton, Vt.:
Gone home below.
* * * * *
Here lies Bernard Lightfoot who was accidentally killed in his
forty fifth year.
Erected by his grateful family.
* * * * *
In a churchyard near Boston, Mass.:
Of pneumonia supervening consumption complicated with other
diseases, the main symptoms of which was insanity.
* * * * *
In Nova Scotia:
Here lies old twenty five per cent.
The more he had the more he lent.
The more he had the more he craved,
Great God, can this poor soul be saved.
* * * * *
A bird, a man, a loaded gun,
No bird, dead man, thy will be done.
* * * * *
In a New York churchyard:
We shall miss thee, mother.
(Job printing neatly done.)
* * * * *
At East Thompson, N. Y.:
Here lies one who never sacrificed his reason to superstitious
God, nor ever believed that Jonah swallowed the whale
* * * * *
Alpha White, weight 300 pounds.
Open wide ye golden gates
That lead to the heavenly shore,
Our father suffered in passing through
And mother weighs much more
* * * * *
He's done a catching cod
And gone to meet his God.
* * * * *
He got a fish bone in his throat
And then he sang an angels note
* * * * *
Here lies Jane Smith,
Wife of Thomas Smith, Marble Cutter
This monument was erected by her
husband as a tribute to her memory
and a specimen of his work.
Monuments of this same style are
two hundred and fifty dollars.
* * * * *
Here lies Dodge, who dodged all good
And dodged a deal of evil.
But after dodging all he could
He could not dodge the devil.
* * * * *
Sacred to twins Charlie and Varlie
Sons of loving parents who died
in infancy.
* * * * *
Deeply regretted by all who never knew him.
Supplementary Epitaphs.
Blank pages for the convenience of collectors.
Transcriber's Note:
There are 18 blank pages at the end of the book with the header
Supplementary Epitaphs.
Blank pages for the convenience of collectors.
Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as
possible.
Italic text has been marked with _underscores_.
OE ligatures have been expanded.