FEMALE EDUCATION.
The term lady. Its various significations. How should woman be
educated. As a Human Being. For a Peculiar Sphere. The Persian
Women. Hindoo Doctrine. Temperament and Susceptibilities. Madame
de Stael's Opinion. Influence. Remark of Cato. Isabella's
Influence. Should receive the Best Education. The Whole Nature to
be Developed. Wordsworth's Description. The Future. To be Educated
partly in Public. Good Intellectual training. Imparts Vigor. Good
Taste. Knowledge. Secures good Mental Habits. Is Practical.
Qualifies for Every Station. Inspires Virtue. Madame Neckar's
View. Mrs. Jameson's. Conversation, an Art. Speak from your own
Mind and Heart; of Principles, not Persons. Make Friendships
Improving. Intimacies of the School-room. Self-education at Home,
and in Private. Reading. Meditation. Extract from Coleridge.
The prophet Isaiah, when predicting the fate that awaited the renowned
Babylon, uses the following striking expression: "And thou saidst, I
shall be a lady forever; so that thou didst not lay these things to thy
heart, neither didst remember the latter end of it." The term lady, here
employed in personifying a prosperous city, is one of various
significations. Its etymology is Saxon, it being derived from a word
meaning "loaf-giver;" which refers to the custom of females distributing
bread among retainers, after the feasts which were held in the halls of
barons. In later periods it has been used, under monarchical
governments, to designate women of rank, the wives of knights, and the
daughters of earls. It is used by the apostle John as a title of honor:
"The elder unto the elect lady and her children." We find it employed by
the prophet in still another sense, that of dominion and power: "Thou
shalt no more be called the lady of kingdoms." In our modern use of it,
there is perhaps a union of these two significations. I shall be a lady
forever, would be now understood to mean, "I shall be always an object
of supreme attention, and of honor. To me will also belong all power, so
that I can command the services of whom I will, and be free myself from
all care and effort."
Before proceeding to my main topic, let me premise, that the word woman
is, in my judgment, an honorable appellation; and that, under our
republican institutions especially, it should be regarded as no ordinary
praise, to say of a female, she is a true woman. Better, far better
aspire to deserve this name, than to repose indolently on a rank and a
title deduced from monarchies, to say to thyself, "I shall be a lady
forever." But our present associations with the term lady being such as
they are, and so many in every condition being jealous of their claims
as ladies, I am compelled to adopt that appellation in order to guard
against injurious misapprehensions.
Having spoken already of the capacities of this sex, and said something
also of their Influence, we are now prepared to answer the great
questions, "How should woman be educated? Under what training should she
be placed? and what is the End of her tuition?"
First, I reply, she should be educated as a Human Being, possessed in
common with man, of an intelligent, moral, and spiritual nature.
Christianity recognizes no distinction of the sexes, so far as the broad
principles of piety and virtue are concerned. Both are endowed with the
same conscience. To each is allotted the same sphere of discipline; and
unto both is the gospel of Christ, in its solemn appeals, its sacred
encouragements, hopes and promises, and its fearful sanctions, alike
addressed.
Contemplate this holy companionship, and how insignificant seem those
barriers raised between the two sexes, in some ages and countries, by
the pride, the caprice, and the despotism, of man. Are we destined to a
common moral tribunal? Pitiful is his spirit, who, for any fancied or
real, outward advantages, shall here and now, with the ancient
philosopher, "thank God that he was born a man, and not a woman." And
contracted or misjudging must she be, who allows herself, even in the
secrecy of her heart, to look on one of the opposite sex with the
murmur, "O that Heaven had made me such a man." In all that is noblest,
purest, divinest, thou art a man. Defile not thy spirit with invidious
prayers. Thank God that thou dost share with man all that dignifies him,
all that is worthy the high aspirations of immortality. Educate thyself
as a human being; unfold the godlike powers, which are thy joint
possession with man; prize and improve thy blessed partnership in the
bequest of Jesus, and thou shall rejoice evermore.
Nor is this view at variance with the position that to woman is assigned
a peculiar sphere of duty and action. Her gifts differ, in some
important respects, from those of man. Her station and relations in life
are not his.
A second point then is this, that she should be so educated as to know
her appropriate sphere. There are two errors in this respect, which she
is liable to commit. She may undervalue her capacities, and imagine,
that being able to acquire or perform little, nothing need be attempted;
or that her influence is trifling, that she helps few and harms less,
and therefore, whether she be ignorant or learned is of no consequence.
Or she may pass to the opposite extreme, and believe herself
all-competent, qualified by nature to cope with man in every situation.
This view will lead her to self-satisfaction, and of course prove
unfriendly to her moral character, and to her spiritual culture. The
affectation that has sometimes accompanied learning in females, has led
not a few men to abhor the very name of a "literary lady."
A good education will so expand her mind and mature her judgment, as to
rescue her from the dangers of these fatal extremes. A refined intellect
will not consent, with the women of Persia, to dwell in the harem; nor
subscribe to the Hindoo doctrine, that "the female who can read or
write, is disqualified for domestic life, and is the heir of
misfortunes." Neither will such a one aspire to the baubles of office,
pant to join in harangues to the crowd, or to compete with man at the
ballot-box.
Woman has rights; but how shall she truly understand them? Not through
ignorance, not by being half-educated, or miseducated. It can be only
through a liberal culture of all her faculties. So trained, she will
ever bear in mind "that knowledge is not to elevate her above her
station, nor to excuse her from the discharge of its most trifling
duties. It is to teach her to know her place, and her functions, to make
her content with the one, and willing to fulfil the other. It is to
render her more useful, more humble, more happy."
"Such a woman will not seek distinction, and therefore she will not meet
with disappointment. She will not be dependent on the world, and thus
she will avoid its vexations. She will be happy in the fulfilment of
religious and domestic duty, and in the profitable employment of her
time."
Woman should be educated according to her Constitutional Temperament and
Susceptibilities. If, in any respect, her endowments be, as they
certainly are, superior to those of man, then let there be but a
secondary degree of culture given to these faculties. Has she naturally
a nicer perception of beauty, or propriety, a more correct taste than
man, then do not bestow your chief care on the developement of this
quality. Is she less gifted with strength of intellect, with calmness,
or comprehensive understanding than man, employ the greater efforts to
supply this defect. Let the solid preponderate over the merely
ornamental. Plant not the pliant osier, but the firmer elm. Instil
principles of severe reasoning, and form habits of connected thought. Is
she rich in imagination? Madam de Stael tells us she is, that this is
the chief of her faculties, and that "her sentiments are troubled by her
fancies, and her actions dependent on her illusions." If this be so,
then strengthen her judgment. Does she love God, inspire her with a
boundless philanthropy. Thus will she be a true companion and undisputed
equal of man. Excitableness and acute sensibility will be beautifully
tempered in her by the spirit of sound knowledge and good sense. The
whole character shall be fitly framed together in Christ and in life.
Let the education of woman be commensurate with her influence. Is it
true that, in the complexion of social life, she is mistress of that
which decides its hues? Then let her be trained to wield this fearful
power with skill, with principle, and for the salvation of social man.
Does she sometimes bear the sceptre of a nation's wellbeing in her
hand? Cato said of his countrymen, "The Romans govern the world, but it
is the women that govern the Romans." The discovery of this very
continent testifies to the political influence of woman. Who favored the
bold genius of Columbus? Do you say Ferdinand of Spain? I answer, it was
Isabella, prompting her partner to the patronage he so reluctantly
bestowed. Her influence unexerted, the Genoese mariner had never worn
the laurel that now graces his brow. Will you leave this all-potent
being illiterate, to rear sons debased by ignorance, and to become dupes
of the demagogue?
Look at the Domestic circle. Not more surely does the empress of night
illuminate and beautify the whole canopy of heaven, than does woman, if
educated aright, irradiate, and give its fairest tints to, her own
fireside. To leave her uncultivated, a victim to ignorance, prejudice,
and the vices they entail, is to take home to our own bosoms a brood
that will inflict pangs sharper than death. For the love and honor of
our homes, let us encourage the most liberal culture of the female mind.
A more general diffusion of the privileges now enjoyed by a few only,
would prevent the envy of others, no less than the vanity of the favored
ones. It would assimilate the tastes, and multiply the sympathies, of
the sexes; it would repress the arrogant sense of superiority in man,
and convince him that woman was neither made for a household drudge, nor
yet for an education of mere show and accomplishment. The useful would
be seen to benefit her at least as much as man.
Some are fearful that women may become too learned, that they will then
be discontent with their ordinary occupations, and become tinged with
"blue," and lose their native simplicity. Such should recollect that it
is "shallow draughts" of knowledge, which "intoxicate the brain." A truly
learned person seldom affects superiority to others, or gives himself
airs. I know of no better security against the tyranny of fashion,
against caprice, _ennui_, and the languishments of indolence, than a
well stored mind. She who best comprehends her nature and relations,
will usually best adorn any and every sphere in which Providence may
place her.
I am led here to say, that if a distinction must exist in the education
of the sexes, that, which is deemed the weaker, should receive the best.
Is it not palpably unjust to assign woman a low rank in the scale of
intellect, when we do nothing to elevate her to an equality in this
respect with man? Why educate the girl only in the graces of learning,
while you give the boy tasks which try his utmost power? Are
accomplishments all she needs to place her on a level with man? Yet how
often do we see her
"Bred only * * * * * *
* * * * * * to sing, to dance,
To dress, and troule the tongue, and roll the eye."
Give her facilities for the full culture of her understanding and the
highest faculties of her soul, and if she then fail, with more reason
may you repeat the taunt about her mental inferiority to man.
This leads to the remark, that female education should embrace our whole
nature, and not one portion of it. Why sacrifice the body to the
improvement of the mind? It is a melancholy spectacle to witness the
pale countenances and attenuated forms of many youth of this sex, as
they issue from the school-room. How long shall consumption prey on so
many at this age? When will American females imitate those of our
fatherland, where sickness among this sex is almost as rare as perfect
health is in our own country?
And why should the Moral powers be neglected as they are, and their
culture postponed to that of the intellect? For manifold reasons these
faculties should be simultaneously developed. The best interests of the
mind demand it. Increase the moral energies, and you strengthen the
intellect. Vice does not more corrupt the soul, than it darkens the
judgment. A pure heart is a well-spring of clear thought. Again, virtue
promotes mental composure. It confers inward peace; it secures that
tranquillity, without which no science can be successfully pursued. Sin
disturbs the reason. Putting evil for good leads one to substitute error
in general for truth. Nero was said to be as deficient in taste, as he
was cruel and wicked. The imagination of a profligate cannot be other
than depraved. And then, as regards the great objects of life, do good,
and you perceive these with more and more clearness. Thus is "light"
always "sown to the righteous." Live in God, and you enjoy a perpetual
sunshine.
Earnestly, therefore, would I plead with all occupied in female
education, that while they encourage the study of the philosophy of
life, they join with it the practice of its duties. Let knowledge be the
herald of goodness. Let intellectual improvement conduct to active
virtue, and sincere piety. Unite with literary excellence a devotion to
home, to charity, to faith and prayer. I have now in mind a picture of
moral purity surmounting skill in the divine tones of music, and the
exercises of the pencil and the brush.--Virtuous maiden,
"Thou wear'st upon thy forehead clear
The freedom of a mountaineer;
A face with gladness overspread!
Soft smiles, by human kindness bred!
And heavenliness complete, that sways
Thy courtesies, about thee plays."
Of what avail indeed is the best literary education, if the heart be
left barren and dead? Can any degree of knowledge compensate for a
selfish spirit? Let envy, pride, jealousy, vanity, be nurtured by the
studies that engage the mind of a young lady, and who can rejoice at her
intellectual progress? Better have less learning, less mental power,
than increase these possessions only to desecrate them in the service of
iniquity. Ignorance is always a less evil than guilt. No amount of
literary acquisitions can atone for the want of a spiritual mind, for
frivolity, heartlessness, and irreligion. Let then the desire to be
useful, to be holy and heavenly, crown and consecrate the education of
woman. Let her ponder on wisdom and learning, and "lay all these things
to her heart."
Female culture should always have reference to the Future. It should
lead to a remembrance of the "latter end" of life's course. How much has
been done, in this work, for the present, for show and effect. Instead
of rearing a thorough edifice, of sound materials, and on a firm
foundation, the endeavor has too often been to build up in a day a
specious structure. So has it been, that, when, the storms of life came
on, the moral building was rocked by the winds, the rain pierced its
thin covering; it rested on the sand; it fell, and great was its fall.
Here is a young school-girl. What is to be her situation on arriving at
womanhood? Must she assume responsible stations? Have we here the germ
of the conjugal tie, and the elements of maternal influence? How then
can we forget these relations, and train a being fit only to bask in the
beams of praise? Let not this be. Address now the same motives as you
must in subsequent years. If there must then be self-denial, toil, and
care, for the love of humanity, leave not the young heart, at this
stage, to become steeped in selfishness. Let the glory of God and the
good of man become now solemn and effective considerations.
We come here to speak naturally of the Place, the theatre, on which the
young female must be educated.
It is to be done partly in public, at the schools instituted for this
purpose. But I do not design to enter the halls of science and
literature. I would rather, adverting here to the conclusion of her
studies, confine myself to the use which a young lady should make of the
education she has received at school. The advantages, now enjoyed by the
youth of our land for mental culture, are rare. Parents are solicitous
that their children should spend much time at the seats of learning. The
daughters are receiving a far higher intellectual training than their
mothers enjoyed. But is this all a sure good? Have the thousand rivulets
of learning that now flow fast by our homes, sprung all from a crystal
fount? Do they, in a word,--for that is the test question,--so penetrate
the life and soul of the young, as to give them solid, practical
excellence? I fear not.
Much is said about "finishing the education." And finished, in one
sense, is that of many females in this age. For, between their school
culture and their subsequent character, there is as little connection
as between the body and its dress. The school-room is left, and the
garment, so beautiful to the eye, falls at once off. Into the centre and
essence of the individual's being, the permanent character, nothing has
passed. The books once studied are gladly thrown aside. Not a single
motive is felt, to press forward in the noble work of self-education.
Languages have been learned; but their great object, as keys to the
study of foreign literatures, is left unanswered. History is a dull
theme; philosophy is merged in the newest novel; dress and gossip, a
little fancy needle-work, and a world of castle-building,--oh! it is
sad; it is humiliating; would to God it were false. I speak to the wise,
judge ye, and say if the picture has not some counterpart within your
personal knowledge.
But how should the young lady improve the literary privileges of her
early days? Let her not depend on the reputation of the teacher who
instructed her, nor of the school, high though it be, which she last
attended; nor yet again on the branches she has studied, however
numerous or unusual they are. It is her own efforts, the attention, the
application, and the intellectual toil she passed through, on which
alone she may reflect with satisfaction. What effect did all these
studies produce on her mind? Is the tree laden with fruits, or did the
profusion of blossoms fall barren to the earth?
Among the results of a good intellectual training is this; it gives
vigor to all the powers of the mind. Memory is cultivated, but not at
the expense of the understanding. Female pupils often shine in those
branches which depend on mere memory, while they fail in those which
task the reason. Geography and history are their delight; mathematics
and metaphysics, their aversion. This should not be.
Woman is exposed, by her habitual seclusion, to many narrowing
influences. She has little of that severe discipline of the mind to
which man is daily subjected. His intercourse with the world is more
extensive. His whole life is a school for the intellect, while she is
restricted, to a great degree, within the limits of home. Her duties
consist much of details; and small subjects engender contracted views.
Therefore should her early days be devoted to studies that, in after
life, will serve to counteract this evil tendency. It should be made a
matter of principle with teachers and parents,--and the pupil must, of
course, co-operate in their plan,--to enlarge her mental vision, to
fortify her intellect against limited notions, and to strengthen her
judgment. The atmosphere of the fireside is often close and oppressive;
let her in her youth, breathe the free air of heaven. So will her
mental constitution be invigorated and prepared for all coming duty.
If I may venture to recommend one study in particular, for its
invigorating influence, I would name the practice of frequent
composition. She who writes daily, whether it be in her journal, or
essays on indifferent subjects, or even good letters, will, in addition
to many other benefits of this practice, strengthen in herself greatly
the habit of connected and profitable thought.
Study should form intellectual Tastes. To what purpose has the girl been
placed all these years at school, if, when her privileges terminate, she
has no fondness for study? Why lead her through the pleasant fields of
learning, if, at the close of her walk, she is to possess no relish for
these scenes? She has drank at "the wells of English undefiled," and
shall she now turn aside and imbibe the turbid waters of a corrupt and
corrupting literature? Alas! that she should now prefer fiction and
folly to the healthful writings of wise men. Deplorable is it, that her
past lessons of instruction, so many and so faithful, must now, by her
own indolence or perversion, prove to have fallen on her ear, like
snow-flakes that melt on the ocean.
Another office of education at school is to impart Knowledge. It has
been said that a woman must possess either beauty or knowledge to
commend her to favorable notice in the world. The former is the rare
gift of nature; while the latter may be always acquired. John Wilkes,
who was as famous for his ugly face as for being universally popular in
society, on being asked the secret of his popularity, answered, that "it
took him but five minutes to talk away his face." What a talisman might
every young woman thus bear with her into society, would she early
cultivate and store her mind. How should it be, that she who has spent
years over grammar, cannot now write a letter to a friend without
violating its fundamental principles? I have read of one, who, when at a
loss how to spell a word, put a dash under the doubtful letters, that if
wrong, they might pass for a jest. Miserable subterfuge! What better is
it to pass the most precious period of life in a school room, if such be
the fruits, than to live uneducated and ignorant? Those are indeed the
truly and unpardonably ignorant, who leave their studies with no
accurate knowledge. Better is her lot, who was constrained to give her
whole youth to manual labor, if she have a thirst for knowledge, and
devote her leisure frugally to profitable reading.
The young lady should not finish her school occupations without securing
good Habits of mind. Let her carry through life her present mental
discipline. Let her accustom herself, if she read a book, to review and
give an account to herself of its contents. Is she listening to a
discourse? What a valuable means may it be made of intellectual
improvement. Let her reflect on each topic, and on the order, the
arrangement and connection, of the whole. After listening to an
interesting conversation, let her recall, and strive to impress on her
mind, every useful thought that was advanced. Indeed, her whole earthly
experience may be so improved as to be a continual seminary of
self-instruction and mental advancement. How infinitely better is it
thus to construct a firm bridge across the entire river of life, than to
trust to the frail bonds of ice, the work of a night, and to be
dissolved before the next meridian sun.
This leads me to say that female education should be of a Practical
description. The girl is destined to be a house-keeper, and yet she is,
perhaps, doing almost nothing to prepare herself for that station. She
thinks a knowledge of housewifery comes by instinct; and so it is that
she cares more for her French and her piano than for those studies which
would fit her for domestic duty. But in vain do this sex receive high
degrees of culture, if they are still unable to apply their knowledge to
any useful purpose. Why train the mind so sedulously, if it prove in
the end but a leaden instrument, too flexible for service? Every woman
should be trained for a variety of situations. Let her be educated for
self-subsistence. What a miserable creature is she, if incompetent to
obtain her own livelihood. That she is now placed in independent
circumstances, affords no assurance that she will be always thus
situated. Can any one forget the fearful reverses of fortune, especially
in this land of pecuniary adventure and adversity? A lady, who had once
rode in her own carriage, and lived in Eastern splendor, was seen, not
long since, seated in Broadway, New York, selling nuts to the
passengers. Talk we of independence! Who are free from bondage to
others, and slavery to time and circumstance, but those who cannot earn
their own subsistence?
Among the causes for gratitude, that woman now has, not the least is the
circumstance that new avenues for female industry are constantly opening
in this age. To some one at least of these, should every young lady
direct her attention. No one should be entirely unskilled as a teacher,
a housewife, and above all, in the use of the needle.
But let it not be imagined that I advocate the education of females for
any one station or class of circumstances. Let her who is prepared to
support herself by toil, either mental or manual, be also qualified,
should Providence elevate her in life, to grace the highest social and
intellectual circles. If there have been any single error in the
training of this sex, more prominent than all others, it has been this,
that they were prepared for one station, or for one event only, and that
every influence was deemed quite unimportant, save those which tended to
qualify them for that station or relation alone.
But it was not surely for marriage _alone_ that God fashioned this
associate and moral equal of man. Neither was it for high life, or low
life, or middling stations, for east, west, north, or south, that she
was made in the sacred image of her Creator. For all these
circumstances, if Providence so appoint, should she be prepared. In one
word, her whole nature, physical, intellectual and spiritual, should be
fully developed; then is she truly educated.
Especially should the school-room give personal Virtue. It should train
the conscience, the heart and its affections aright, and guide to
consistency of character. "Want of perseverance," says Madam Necker, "is
the great fault of woman, in every thing, morals, attention to health,
friendship, &c." Her intellect is cultivated too exclusively, in our
times. It is to be feared that her education now gives her little moral
energy. This is a grievous error. Instead of being more frail in body,
and less firm in mind, or thorough in morals and piety, than in past
ages, she should be endowed with new force of character. Amid the
increased dangers of society, what is to protect her, and lift her from
feebleness and degradation, if not personal character? Man is to be
educated for a vigorous encounter with the world; in him the stronger
qualities, tempered by sensibility and affection, should predominate.
Woman should be prepared to co-operate with him in the station he may
fill, not openly and directly, but by a wise, gentle, and steady,
domestic influence. In her, love should be the ruling star; but that
love will avail him comparatively little, unless joined to a well
trained intellect, a cultivated mind, and sound judgment. Amid the
darkness, and tempestuousness, and growing perils of these latter ages,
she should be a Pharos-tower, giving light and life to tempted man. If
her moral culture do not correspond to her literary acquirements, they
will prove but dangerous weapons in the hand of the lawless. Catharine
de Medici was renowned, like her family, for talent and learning. She
possessed unbounded influence over her son, the prince. But the horrid
massacre of St. Bartholomew, the work of her spirit, is sufficient to
render her name as infamous as it is distinguished. Let the intellect
of this sex continue to be highly cultivated. But let
"such respect
To woman's noiseless duties sweetly blend
And temper those high gifts, that every heart
That fears their splendor, loves their goodness too."
Mrs. Jameson inquires, and very properly, whether "where woman is idle
and useless by privilege of her sex, a divinity, and an idol, a victim,
or a toy, her position is not quite as lamentable, as false, as
injurious to herself, and to all social progress, as where she is the
drudge, slave and possession of man?"
Another scene for the education of woman lies in circles for
Conversation. This is a pre-eminent means, not only of pleasure, but of
improvement. It is a quickener of the intellect, a purifier of the
affections, and an instrument of heightening our spiritual aspirations.
I doubt whether woman especially is not more indebted to this, than to
all her other facilities, for mental and moral advancement.
But how shall it be made conducive to the highest possible good? It must
be studied, as an art. A girl may as easily be taught to converse well,
as to recite lessons in philosophy. Persons differ, in this talent, it
is true, as regards fluency; but this is by no means essential to
useful conversation. Good sense, a respectable education, and a pure
heart, are the great requisitions. She who has these, cannot fail, with
suitable efforts, of becoming agreeable and edifying in her discourse.
To give the utmost effect to your privileges in this respect, learn
first the talent of listening to others. Never pass even a few moments
with one skilled in this accomplishment, without earnest attention. You
will thus not only gather knowledge, but observe how this great art may
be practised. You will perceive that no affectation and no insincerity
are needed to enable you to improve in this precious power. Simplicity,
naturalness, a truthful air and manner are, indeed, more frequently the
result of labor than their opposites. It is hard, in this world of
artifice, to be perfectly artless.
To educate yourself in this talent, resolve, in the outset, to speak
always from your own mind and your own heart. Nothing is more fatal to
improvement than being the echo of other voices. Let your remarks be
like the gentle stream from the hill-side, which spreads freshness and
verdure on its banks. Better say a simple thing of your own than a wise
one purloined from your neighbor. Regard this great principle, and you
will grow in the gift of conversation, and you will also keep your soul
unpolluted by guilt.
Adhere sacredly to the truth. Avoid exaggeration, the sin of the young
and the ardent. Rather understate than exceed the facts of a case. This
rule will save you from the two great vices of social intercourse,
flattery, and detraction. It is right to tell another precisely what we
think of his merits, if done discreetly. But to give him a better
impression of our estimate of his character than the truth will warrant,
is, although very common, a plain violation of the laws of God. Adhere
to the truth, and you will always exhibit charity in your discourse.
This central luminary will shine on your words with a noon-tide
brightness. It will dispel the mists of scandal, and beautify, and write
the law of kindness on, your lips.
Speak much of principles, and little of persons. You have enjoyed a good
education, and why should you prefer the discussion of such beggarly
topics as dress, or the private concerns of your neighbor, to those
noble thoughts, which learning, morals, and religion, would always
supply to your mind? Determine to carry with you childhood's innocence,
and angel love, and you will find the field of topics spread out before
you an illimitable harvest of good fruits.
Make your Friendships a means of intellectual and moral improvement.
God has graciously given us this boon, as a burnisher of our existence:
"Nature, in zeal for human amity,
Denies or damps an undivided joy.
* * * Joy is an exchange;
Joy flies monopolists;
Delight intense is taken by rebound."
The friendships of woman, from her being gifted with strong affections,
exert a peculiar influence on her character and destiny. Therefore is
it, that a young lady should choose her intimate associates with care.
Let it not be accident, still less unhallowed gratifications, prejudice,
pride, passion, folly, which form the basis of this holy structure.
Where our friends can be selected, they should be those of attainments
superior to our own, of pure principles, and virtuous habits.
The pursuits of the school-room afford opportunity for forming the
closest friendships. The address of Helena to Hermia, is applicable to
very many females who associate early in seminaries of learning:
"We, Hermia,
Have with our needles created both one flower;
Both on one sampler, sitting on one cushion;
Both warbling of one song, both in one key;
As if our hands, our sides, voices, and minds,
Had been incorporate."
Let the youthful female beware, in school and everywhere, of hasty
preferences, of taking home to her inmost confidence the acquaintance
of a day. Her own character is too precious to be exposed in heedless
traffic. Purity and love, the loftiest powers of our nature, not time
alone, but eternity also, should form the seal of her lasting
friendships.
Educate yourself at home and in private. By fireside fidelity the soul
is expanded and our being lifted toward God. View your relative
connections as each a Heaven-sent teacher. Incline your ear to them, as
if through their lips an oracle uttered its decrees in your hearing.
By your Reading, much may be accomplished toward correcting your taste,
enlarging your intellectual vision, and sanctifying your spirit. Form
now the habit of daily reading some volume with reference to your
personal improvement. Let no engagement seriously interrupt this
practice. Read the writings of your own sex. Woman takes up her pen,
usually, from the promptings of sympathy and affection. The temple she
builds to literature, may have an altar consecrated to reason, or to
imagination; but it is love, a high and holy love, which she inscribes
on its portals. Her works thus not only elevate the taste but amend the
heart.
Woman is addicted to the eager perusal of works of fiction. I regard
this fact as an indication of a want of her nature. Not, therefore, to
eradicate but to control, and direct, and restrain, this propensity,
would I make an endeavor. In the words of the afflicted Lady Russell,
used on the anniversary of her husband's execution, I would say, "I do
not contend with nature, but keep her as innocent as I can." Select only
such writings of this class as some judicious friend has recommended.
Read poetry. If it be true poetry, it is the twin-sister of religion. It
will exalt and ennoble your soul. Study history. From that you will draw
unfailing draughts of knowledge and wisdom. Be familiar with good
biography. Above all, make the Word of God your constant study. So will
you be educated for every stage of your existence, and ripe clusters of
virtues will adorn your life.
But louder than those of books are the praises of Meditation. Reflect on
your reading. Let each line raise a rivulet on the bosom of your being;
let there be in it no stagnant waters. Be active in mind; meditate on
your daily experience, your prospects, your deficiencies, your progress,
your hopes. Wouldst thou have peace in this world,
"From the soul itself must issue forth
A light, a glory, a fair luminous cloud
Enveloping the earth;
And from the soul itself must there be sent
A sweet and powerful voice, of its own birth,
Of all sweet sounds, the life and element."
Wouldst thou enjoy peace in the interminable future, "lay these things
to thy heart." Then shall thy inward beauties shine with a fadeless
refulgence. All true power shall be given thee. Thou shalt be "a lady,"
not indeed of an earthly kingdom, but of that high realm, boundless as
thy desires, and enduring as God.