"Yes, boy?"
"Let's--let's take a walk."
* * * * *
We went through the little sleeping community. She clung to my arm
lightly....
"You're the first woman I haven't been frightened of, rather, have felt
at home with."
"You, who have been a tramp, a worker all over the country ... in big
cities ... do you mean to tell me that?--"
"Yes ... yes ... before God, it is true! You don't think I'm a fool, do
you--a ninny?"
"No, on the contrary, I think you are a good man ... that it is
miraculous ... I--I feel so old beside you ... how old are you,
Johnnie?"
"Twenty-six."
"Why, I'm only two years older ... yet I feel like your mother."
* * * * *
In the groves adjoining the colony, for a mile on either side, wherever
there was a big tree, a circular seat had been built about it. It was on
one of these that we sat down, without a word.
I laid my head against Hildreth's shoulder. Soothingly she began
stroking my hair. With cool fingers she stroked it.
"What fine hair you have. It's as soft and silky as a girl's."
"I took after my mother in that."
"What a mixture you are ... manly and strong ... an athlete, yet
sensitive, so sensitive that sometimes it hurts to look at your face
when you talk ... you've suffered a lot, Johnnie."
"In curious ways, yes."
"Tell me about yourself. I won't even whisper it in the dark, when I'm
alone."
"I know I can trust you, Hildreth."
"What are you doing, boy?"
"I want to sit at your feet."
"You dear boy."
"I feel quite humble ... I don't want you to see my face when I talk."
She drew my head against her knees. Threw one arm as if protectingly
over my shoulder.
"There. Are you comfortable, boy?"
"Yes. Are you?"
"Quite ... don't be ashamed ... I know much about life that you do not
know ... tell me all."
* * * * *
So I told her all about myself ... my ambition ... my struggles ... my
morbidity ... my lack of experience with girls and women....
"And I must have experience soon ... it's obsessing me ... it can't last
this way much longer ... I shall go mad."
And I rehearsed to her a desperate resolve I had made ... to find a
woman of the streets, in New York, when I went in, the ensuing week ...
and force myself, no matter how I loathed it--