If Mrs. Tiralla believed that she would have reason to fear her husband
now, she was mistaken. There was no necessity for her to steal away so
that he should not see her, for he kept out of her way as well as
everybody else's. They were all so fond of her, they hung on her words;
she was a witch, and if he were to tell what he knew about her, who
knows, perhaps she might do something worse to him? He was terrified of
her in secret. When he heard her steps he would cower involuntarily; he
preferred her not to come where he happened to be. He scarcely ate
anything at meal time; even if he had been hungry he would not have
ventured to partake of anything. The drink he took nourished him; he
grew stouter and stouter, and his eyes were embedded in fat. He would
only eat what the maid brought him, but he ordered her not to say
anything to her mistress about it. "Very good, very good," she would
answer, with a nod, but when she spoke to others about her master, she
would point to her forehead and say in a sad voice, "Poor master! I
think he drinks too much."
Everybody said that Mr. Tiralla had become a drunkard. True, he hardly
ever came to the inn now when the gentry were there, but he would drink
in secret either at home or at the inn at a different time to the
others. He avoided his former companions; they had not seen him for
weeks.
[Pg 219]
Loud were the exclamations, therefore, when they caught him early one
afternoon sitting all alone at the inn. They had made up their minds to
take him by surprise some time, and now they had found him.
"_Psia krew_, old fellow," cried Jokisch, "where have you been? You and
I are neighbours, and still I never see you."
The forester, who had been obliged to complain of Mr. Tiralla formerly,
said to him in a friendly, reproachful voice, "I never meet you in the
Przykop now." Schmielke and the gendarme also gave vent to their
astonishment--why did Mr. Tiralla no more appear at the usual table?
The priest, too, had been very much surprised that he never came to
church either. That was not right, he really must go. He ought to pray
twice as much as others, he the husband of such a pious and--there was
a momentary pause and Mr. Schmielke gave a waggish laugh--beautiful
wife.
They poked each other in the ribs and laughed. Had he really not
noticed anything?
But he glanced at them all in turn with a stupid, dull look, and then
went on drinking as if they were not there. He did not want to have
anything to do with them; he wanted to be left in peace. Why should it
be such a pleasure to them to gloat over him? He had not grown so
stupid but that he could feel they wanted to get some fun out of him.
He gazed about him with a restless look; now this place was embittered
as well. Where could he drink a glass in peace? At home he feared his
wife. She was quite friendly to him now, and would often say to him,
"Have something to drink, do." And when he had complained of the blood
rising to his head, she had told Marianna to bring him a cooling drink
from the cellar. "Why do you want to go into the fields?" she had even
said; [Pg 220] "let the young folks work there. Stop at home. It's so
hot out of doors, you'll get a stroke." She was right, and still he did
not believe in her any more. Why did she advise him in such a kind way
to remain at home? He would have liked to know--yet he dreaded the
knowledge. Is not everybody fond of life? It would be better to pretend
that he had not noticed anything.
But inwardly the man was consumed with a terror that burnt him to such
a degree that his mouth and throat and chest and lungs were as dry as a
parched field that never can get enough moisture. He was obliged to
drink to conquer the fear that always gripped him anew, that took
possession of him day after day, whether he was in the room or in the
passage, in the yard either when the sun shone, or on a moonlit night,
in the barn, in the stables, in the house, round about the house,
everywhere where his wife happened to be. Hitherto he had only felt
safe in the inn, and then only when he was quite alone with his glass
and the buzzing bluebottles that flew up and down the dull window-pane.
And now they were spoiling that for him too. He gazed at the laughing
men as though they were his enemies. Then, finishing his glass, he
turned away without saying good-bye or casting a glance at the numerous
strokes which the landlord had chalked on the board, and trotted out of
the door with his shoulders drawn up and his big head on one side, as
though he were ducking down for some reason or other.
The men felt ready to laugh once more as they followed him with their
eyes. "Mad!" exclaimed Schmielke, as he struck his thigh. But they did
not laugh after all.
"If he makes himself so drunk every day, he'll not [Pg 221] know soon
what his wife is up to," remarked Jokisch, rubbing his nose
thoughtfully.
"Who can blame her for it?" said Schmielke, in a tone of excuse. "She
must be twenty years younger than he, and Mr. Tiralla has never been an
Adonis. Between ourselves I can quite understand that a woman like the
fair Sophia favours somebody else. You are still very narrow-minded in
this part of the world, gentlemen. I'm only sorry that I'm not the
favoured one."
"An idiot, nothing but a stupid boy," cried Jokisch angrily, full of
envy.
They were all envious. But Schmielke, the man of the world, consoled
himself and the others by saying, "Who knows whose turn it may be next,
now that she has begun?"
So they all pinned their faith to that.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mr. Tiralla tottered slowly down the village street. The sun was
glowing so that the dust which flew up in clouds as he shuffled along
glistened before his lowered face as though it were mingled with gold.
He neither heard nor saw anything, and he was not thinking, either.
After passing the last cottage in Starawie['s], he mechanically took
the parched track across the fields in the direction of home.
The early summer sun was shining down on the immense plains; the
fine-looking ears of corn that swayed to and fro were already about as
high as a man. The clover lay cut in the meadows, and emitted a
powerful smell as it dried quickly in the sun. The air was full of a
continuous buzzing of insects that glistened like gold, and of the
trills of invisible larks. The blessing of a promising harvest lay
spread over the broad fields as far as Starydwór, and everywhere [Pg
222] as far as the eye could see. But Mr. Tiralla's heart did not
rejoice as a farmer's should have done. He did not look about him, nor
care whether the oats and wheat were getting on, and whether the rye
was beginning to turn pale. He pressed his hat further down on his
forehead and shuffled along a little more rapidly. Marianna should
bring him something at once to his room. He would lock himself in; he
had not had his daily quantity yet, those confounded fellows had
disturbed him. He still felt very out of sorts.
"Mr. Tiralla! Mr. Tiralla!" shouted somebody behind him.
He did not hear. Then somebody seized him by the coat as he reached the
Bo[^z]a m[,e]ka which stands at the cross-roads.
Mr. Tiralla turned round in terror--was it she? Ah, it was only the
schoolmaster. He gave a sigh of relief.
"Why do you hurry so, Mr. Tiralla?" said Böhnke in a breathless voice.
"You were almost running. I saw you in the distance when you left the
village, and I've been racing behind you the whole way."
"Why did you do that?" asked Mr. Tiralla. "I want to be alone, I must
be alone, I'm safest when I'm quite alone." Then he sighed again, and
his swollen eyes glimmered as he cast a restless look around.
The schoolmaster sighed too; dear, dear, the man was quite out of his
mind. It must be true what they were saying in Starawie['s], that
Becker had become Mrs. Tiralla's lover. Confound it! "May I offer you
my arm, Mr. Tiralla?" he said, going close up to him. "You're walking
badly."
"No, no--no, no!" cried the stout man, keeping the schoolmaster off as
though he were afraid of him. [Pg 223] And then he added in a gruff
voice, as he saw that he would not be repulsed, "_Psia krew_, what do
you want? Go to the devil, little Böhnke."
But the words "little Böhnke" did not have the usual effect on the
schoolmaster, for he felt sorry for the man. Besides, he wanted to
know, he must know, how far it had gone with Mrs. Tiralla and Becker.
You could not believe all the gossip of the inn, but he would get at
the truth from the man himself, the husband who had been insulted and
deceived.
So after Mr. Tiralla had stumbled several times, Böhnke took hold of
his arm. "Do let me accompany you," he said in an anxious, friendly
voice.
"All right then," he growled. The man's solicitude did him good after
all. Besides, what had he to fear from little Böhnke? He was pale and
humble, pleased when you left him in peace, and did nobody any harm.
So Mr. Tiralla put up with the schoolmaster's company and they walked
together like father and son. And when they came to the farm gate he
did not even object to his going still further with him. "Come along,
little Böhnke," he said, "come into my room. Marianna shall fetch us
something out of the cellar; I've got the key. Then we two will have a
drink by ourselves."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
It was a long sitting. It had been early in the afternoon when they
came from Starawie['s], now it was almost evening. During all those
hours the house had been as quiet as though not a single soul, as
though not even a mouse were there. And still every time a glass was
put on the table with more noise than usual Mr. Tiralla had hastily put
his finger to his lips, "Sh!" He had drawn nearer and nearer to his
friend as he [Pg 224] whispered to him. For the schoolmaster was his
friend, and it did him good to have such a friend. Did little Böhnke
know what a mouse felt like when it was being enticed into a trap with
bacon? Oh, his wife was kind to him now, she was so bright, and smiled
the whole day long. She would even have brought him something to drink
with her own hands if he had asked for it, she who had formerly turned
up her nose and said, "Pooh! you stink!" if he had only drunk one small
glass. But who could trust her? "For listen, little Böhnke"--Mr.
Tiralla put his arm round the other man's neck and breathed into his
ear with trembling voice--"listen! she's laying a trap for me. And when
I'm dead, my friend--sh!"--he clapped his hand over the other man's
mouth as he was about to jump up--"be quiet. You mustn't betray me,
hold your tongue. And when I'm dead, then, oh then----"
Mr. Tiralla could not speak any more. He hiccoughed and sobbed, for he
had already drunk a great deal, and then, putting his head on the
table, he began to weep.
The schoolmaster sat motionless. He scarcely heard what the man had
been saying, for he was listening the whole time for a sound in the
house. Would he not soon hear her steps, her voice? How he longed for
them. But nothing moved. Everybody was in the fields bringing in the
clover, Marianna had said when she brought the last bottle in, and then
they had watched her through the window, as she, too, went off with her
red skirt up to her knees and her rake over her shoulder. Bringing in
the clover! Mrs. Tiralla had never helped to do that before. But this
year--the man's face was distorted with jealousy--this year there were
two young men there, her stepson and [Pg 225] Becker. Which of the two
was it? Perhaps both. The man gave a dull groan. Two lovers. And still
he could not learn anything for certain. This man was so awfully
stupid, such an idiot.
The compassion which Böhnke had at first felt for Mr. Tiralla was
changed into anger. It was the man's own fault, it served him right;
why did he not take better care of her? He gave the weeping man a rough
push, "Your wife has got some good friends; I suppose you know it?"
Mr. Tiralla did not fire up, but let his head remain where it was.
"Leave her. Oh, little Böhnke, the only friend I possess, if you knew,
if you knew."
He gave several heartrending sighs, but when the schoolmaster was
imprudent enough to ply him with questions in an eager, inquisitive
voice, he suddenly grew silent. The other's eagerness had made him
suspicious, and he obstinately closed his mouth; he would not be
pumped.
So they sat in silence until it was evening, and still the schoolmaster
delayed his departure. He must wait, she must be coming. The table and
glasses were already swaying backwards and forwards before his eyes,
and still he let Mr. Tiralla refill his glass, whilst he did the same
to his. What else could he do, so as to beguile the awful time of
waiting?
Böhnke had no idea how much he had drunk; if he had known it, he would
have been terrified. He had always despised those who drank more than
they could stand, and he had always known that he himself could not
stand much, but he knew it no longer. She must come some time.
"Your health, Mr. Tiralla!"
"Much good may it do you, little Böhnke!"
They clinked their glasses once more without any [Pg 226] sign of mirth
or enjoyment, only for the sake of drinking; the one consumed by the
pangs of jealousy, the other pursued by the fear of death.
Then the crack of a whip was heard. At last! There she was--but with
the others. The schoolmaster had staggered to the window, and in his
haste had upset his chair with such a loud noise that Mr. Tiralla,
terrified at what might betray them, screwed up his eyes, put his hands
to his ears, and would have liked to creep under the table.
They drove into the yard. The oxen in front of the wagon came slowly
along with wreaths of red clover and blue cornflowers round their
horns, quite conscious of their finery. On either side a young man was
walking with a rake thrown over his shoulder; a dark one on the one
side, a fair one on the other; the one slender, the other more
thick-set, but both nice-looking and both happy.
Böhnke looked on with envious eyes. And there--he pressed still
closer to the window--on the top of the sweet-smelling hay, handsomer
and happier-looking than he had ever seen her before, there she
sat enthroned. Her light-coloured dress was fresh and clean, her
broad-brimmed hat hung down her back, her clear forehead was
unprotected; she looked younger and more light-hearted than her
daughter, who was crouching behind her. Brown-skinned Marianna was
hurrying behind the wagon, laughing. She had fallen off the piled-up
clover, and had now to run behind.
It was as though gaiety personified had entered Starydwór. The
schoolmaster clenched his fist and shook it at the wagon, and still he
would have given his life to have been in the procession and have taken
part in Mrs. Tiralla's joy. "How happy she is," he murmured, turning
away. He hated her at that [Pg 227] moment on account of her happiness,
but then he felt he could not begrudge her it, after all.
He walked past Mr. Tiralla with a gesture of loathing, and without
saying good-bye.
"Come again, my friend, my brother, come soon," he said thickly.
Böhnke did not answer. He must go out, out to that deceitful,
despicable woman.
He met her in the passage.
Did she know that the schoolmaster was there? Had Marianna prepared
her? Anyhow, she looked neither surprised nor terrified. Her blooming
face turned neither redder nor paler, it kept the same rosy tint, and
there was a kind expression in her eyes as she looked at him. She held
out her hand.
"It was so beautiful," she said, smiling, as she drew a deep breath of
pleasure.
"So beautiful," he repeated softly, devouring her with his eyes. He
drew her away from the light almost by force. When they had reached the
darkest corner, he said to her accusingly, "You're deceiving Mr.
Tiralla."
"Whose business is that?"
"Mine, mine, mine!" He shook her at every word, he was beside himself.
He felt he was intoxicated, and still he could not control himself. He
raised his hand as though to strike her.
She caught hold of his arm, "Oh, don't hit me."
The gentleness with which she said it disarmed him. How dared he strike
her? How dared he, who was intoxicated, strike this woman? All at once
he lost his courage and his anger disappeared.
"Oh, why do you disturb me?" she wailed, in a low voice, and closed her
eyes. "Please leave me, oh, do leave me. I was so happy."
[Pg 228]
Her voice touched him. Yes, he could well believe it, it does one good
to be happy.
She had slowly retreated; now she was again standing in the light. He
saw that she was escaping from him, and still he could not hold her.
At that moment Mikolai approached. "Where are you, mother?" The others
now also appeared; the schoolmaster saw her surrounded by figures in
light garments as through a mist. Rosa had taken the garlands off the
oxen and now asked, "What are we to do with them?"
"Come, let's adorn the saints with them," answered the woman. "It's the
first harvest of summer; may they be gracious to us." Then turning to
the schoolmaster she said, "Come more frequently, Mr. Böhnke. I should
be pleased if you would often come to see Mr. Tiralla."
All the man could do was to bend over her hand and whisper in a hoarse
voice:
"Certainly, if you wish it, Mrs. Tiralla."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
They had adorned all the saints in the house, as well as the image of
the Holy Virgin in the niche over the gateway, with the clover and
cornflowers. The wagon with its huge load of clover was standing in the
shed; to-morrow early it was to be put into sacks, this evening they
were to have a rest. It was quite like Sunday at Starydwór; even the
Sundays were not so beautiful formerly as the workdays were now.
Marianna was singing in the kitchen whilst making pancakes, and Mikolai
was strolling about the yard smoking, with his arm round Rosa's
shoulder. She was blushing and smiling at something he was saying to
her.
[Pg 229]
"I tell you, you'll be sorry for it when you're once in the convent,"
he was saying in a persuasive voice. "It's a dreadful thing to have to
nurse the sick, or pray the whole day. The Ladies of the Sacred Heart
are all elderly, I've seen them once. And the Grey Sisters--oh, don't
tell me anything," he said, putting her off as she was about to
interrupt him, "I know what I'm saying. They're all old and ugly. What
do you want to do there? Stop at home; we two get on so well together."
He drew her more closely to him, and then said very seriously, although
two dimples began to show themselves in his round cheeks, "As I'm your
brother, I'm going to give you some good advice. See that you marry
Martin. I like him just as much as a brother already, so what will it
be then? Let him stop here and put his money into the farm, so that we
can buy some more land, or perhaps build a distillery, or a brick-kiln.
Or let him buy a mill here in the neighbourhood with the money that
you'll bring him. It's all the same to me. All I want is that you don't
go into a convent." He gave her a friendly push, so that she reeled a
few steps away from him, and then catching her again he drew her to his
side, laughing. "Won't that be nice, sister mine, eh? What do you say
to it?"
"But does he like me?" she inquired, in a soft, timid voice. Her heart
throbbed--husband and wife, and always united during many years, and
many children. Her face flamed. If only he liked me, she thought, and
it was as though she were praying.
"Why shouldn't he?" asked her brother, looking at her tenderly. He was
really fond of his good, gentle little Rosa. But then his glance grew
criticizing and appraising as he added, "You're certainly not half so
pretty as your mother. _Psia krew!_"--he smacked [Pg 230] his lips and
his eyes grew ardent--"what a fine woman she is! What a pity--and the
old man drinks. But people must not compare you two, that's all. Martin
will understand that; besides, he isn't one of those who look at beauty
alone."
Suddenly a violent pain pierced Rosa's heart, and she involuntarily
pressed her hand to her side; it was as though her heart were broken
and she must hold it together. Oh, yes, her mother was beautiful, and
how she had laughed when they were turning the clover; just like the
wood-pigeons in the Przykop. She could not be compared with her mother,
she knew that. Her head drooped in painful humility.
"But you've got something too," said Mikolai consolingly. "Becker has
to look out for a wife with money. Although he has some himself, he
hasn't enough. Besides, I think he's very fond of you. Tell me"--he put
his hand under the girl's chin and looked into her face--"do you like
him too? Shall I tell him so?"
The tears welled into Rosa's eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She shook
her head without saying a word, and as he urged her, "But why not?
Don't be so stupid!" she said quite softly, "I don't want to; no, I
would rather not," and then tore herself away from him and ran into the
house, and up to the room she shared with Marianna. There she threw
herself on her knees beside her narrow bed and began to cry and pray.
She had to cry; she would have liked to check the tears that flowed,
she did not know why, but she could not. Was that jealousy that was
stabbing her heart like a knife? Oh, no, nobody in the world could
admire her mother as she did. She would gladly have given her
everything--only not Becker. How those two had gazed at each other.
They had [Pg 231] kept together the whole time in a remote part of the
field, always side by side as though they belonged to each other. And
her mother had laughed as though she were a young, happy girl, much
younger and much happier than she, Rosa, had ever been. Was it not
disgraceful to laugh like that when one is so old?
Rosa's lip curled, but then she felt very much ashamed of herself. How
horrid it was of her to envy her mother because she had laughed. If
only she might always laugh and be happy! Her lot would be to pray,
pray always. She would go to the Grey Sisters and nurse the sick, or to
the Ladies of the Sacred Heart. That was the only thing she wanted to
do, nothing else was worth longing for.
Husband and wife, and always united during many years, and many
children--it sounded like distant music. Rosa moved her lips more
rapidly; she would have liked to stop her ears, she fought with all her
strength against the distant music. "Jesus, my only Friend, I love Thee
above everything. Sweetest Jesus, Saviour!" she whispered fervently;
her eager eyes were full of longing as she raised them.
Rosa had never had a picture of the Saviour over her bed, nothing but a
vessel containing holy water and some consecrated palm branches, but at
that moment a picture shone on the bare wall which had never been there
before. She stared at it in a transport of joy, and her eyes grew
bigger and bigger; her lips faltered as she prayed, and she heaved a
deep sigh--there--there--Jesus Christ! How Martin Becker resembled Him
in every feature, and how He smiled at her.
The expression in the girl's face grew more and more ecstatic; it was
as though all the blood in her body had suddenly become active, as it
coursed down into [Pg 232] the tips of her toes and then up into her
hot cheeks. Rosa glowed with delight--there He was, there He was. It
was no longer the Christ Child, whom she had got leave to nurse, it was
He, He, so big and so beautiful.
"Jesus, O my Saviour!" She uttered a cry of joy and stretched out her
arms.
It had grown dusk outside and the low room was already in darkness, but
the picture shone with a wondrous splendour before Rosa's eyes. She
writhed on the floor, her delicate body trembled with pain and ecstatic
happiness.
When Marianna came upstairs to dress--for Mr. Mikolai had promised
faithfully to take a short walk in the fields with her after
supper--she found the Paninka lying on the floor, pale and almost
fainting, as though all the blood had left her body. Poor little thing!
The maid lifted the light body on to the bed and began to undress her.
But Rosa resisted with a wail and kept firm hold of her clothes. She
would not come down to supper either, she wanted to be alone, quite
alone with Him.
"With whom?" asked Marianna inquisitively. But she received no answer.
The young girl lay on her bed, pale and with a faraway look in her
eyes. Marianna cast a glance at her in which there lay both fear and
reverence--dear, dear, was that to begin again? She made the sign of
the cross and then, as no sound came from Rosa and she seemed to be
sleeping, hastily made herself smart, put on a dean cap and her beads
with all the long, gay-coloured ribbons round her neck--Mr. Mikolai
would approve of her now--and hurried downstairs, humming a song.
[Pg 233]
Nobody missed Rosa at supper. The evening was so warm, so mild and
alluring that it had turned all their heads.
Even Mr. Tiralla, who otherwise would have asked for his little
daughter, did not give her a thought. True, he was sitting at the
table, but his eyes were fixed on vacancy, and he neither saw nor heard
anybody. It appeared as if he might fall off his chair at any moment.
Martin Becker was filled with aversion as he looked at him; it was a
shame, a disgrace to drink like that. He turned his eyes away. Then he
flashed a tender glance at Mrs. Tiralla; poor, dear woman, if only he
could carry her away in his arms, away from him, away from all this
foulness! Would to God he could get away from it all! But they could
not run away together, and so he, too, must stay to please her. It was
not easy; it was no honour to serve such a fellow, as he had done now
for well-nigh three-quarters of a year. But he was doing it to please
Mikolai and her--yes, her. He had to stop.
The woman now cast a look at him as though she had guessed his
thoughts. She did not thank him in words, but the thanks lay in her
eyes. Mrs. Tiralla's eyes had always been beautiful, velvety, deep,
speaking eyes, but now there was a soft gleam in them, instead of the
restless flickering that had so often been there--the gleam of love.
She gazed at Martin Becker with a deep, warm look. When they went to
the Przykop together, as they had arranged to do as soon as Mr. Tiralla
was asleep, she would say to him, "I thank you." How she longed to say
to him, "I thank you for coming to Starydwór, I thank you for coming as
a deliverer. Look, I've become cleansed through you. Oh, how I love
you, [Pg 234] how I thank you!" But would he understand her? No, how
could he, for what did he know? If she were to say to him, "I've become
cleansed through you," he would look at her with big, astonished eyes,
for he did not know of any guilt. But was she really guilty? No, she
was not--the woman raised her head with a confident air--no, she knew
of no guilt either. The memory of all those years with all those bad
days and bad thoughts had disappeared as though they had never existed.
She was once more as young and as innocent as she had been when she sat
in her priest's study. It had been quite a different woman who had
sighed at Starydwór for so many years, who had wept and had again and
again endeavoured to free herself from this hateful husband. Poison?
She had to smile; how kind the saints had been to her; they had
preserved her from the poison. Now Mr. Tiralla drank. And if he
continued to drink as he was doing, so much Tokay and beer and gin,
then he would soon drink himself into the grave. God be gracious to his
poor soul!
The look that the woman cast at her husband was almost compassionate;
he never disturbed her now. She nodded with a smile to her lover and
then pushed the bottle, which was not yet empty, nearer to her husband.
"Won't you finish it?"
He mumbled something unintelligible as he gazed into his glass, but did
not look at her. Then she filled his glass to the brim, and as he still
did not drink and did not even stretch his hand out to take it, she
took hold of it, sipped a little, and then almost pushed it into his
hand. "Your health! Much good may it do you!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
[Pg 235]
Mr. Tiralla was asleep. They had not even waited until he fell from his
chair, for he was still sitting in his place, although his head had
fallen on the table. They need not have left the room, however, for
they were as good as alone.
Mikolai had gone out somewhat earlier. He had stood a short time at the
front door whistling softly, but when the whistling had ceased and
Marianna's clatter was no longer heard in the kitchen, the two had
nodded to each other with a smile, as much as to say, "We understand,"
and had also got up from their seats and gone out as the others had
done.
They wandered slowly along hand-in-hand. Mrs. Tiralla never dreamt of
fearing that anybody should see them; she walked calmly along in her
light-coloured dress that could be seen afar off in the flat fields in
spite of the twilight.
Martin did not feel so calm. "If anybody were to see us!" he said, as
figures, more suspected than actually seen, appeared and disappeared
among the corn. "There are still people about."
"Leave them," she said, with a smile. "Come, put your arm round me.
Lead me, I should love to be led wherever you want to go. I'll close my
eyes, and then I shall neither see the sky nor the fields nor anything
more; I shall only feel you." She clung to his arm that was round her.
Oh, to wander like this through eternity. Her heart was filled with
ineffable rapture; this was better than heavenly bliss. She had now no
longer the glowing wish to kiss him as she had done formerly, to press
her mouth to his fresh lips, so that neither of them had any breath
left; oh, no, she would blush if she were to do that now. The
passionate longing which had tormented her until she possessed him no
longer tortured her. Now she was [Pg 236] his and he hers, now they
were like the angels in Paradise, who live in bliss.
He led her into the Przykop. But when he caught her to his heart in a
wild embrace behind the first bushes, she repulsed him. "No, not like
that." She was no love whom he had picked up in the street, she was his
bride, his wife, and when they later on went to heaven, she wanted to
stand pure before the throne of God.
Martin Becker was speechless; he did not know what to answer to this.
He understood how to kiss, but he did not understand this. It all
seemed very strange. Why had she sought him then, hung on his looks?
Why had she immediately fallen into his arms like a ripe apple, which
only requires a slight touch, if she had become so prudish all at once,
as chaste as one whom you have to teach what love is? Why, even little
Rosa could not have been more chaste.
He had to sit down on the moss by her side and only touch her hand. The
woman looked about her with dreamy eyes; she could see the fields from
the edge of the Przykop. It was pitch-dark in the hollow; he would have
liked to go down there with her, but she refused; she wanted to look at
the stars above the fields, whose twinkling brilliance was reflected in
thousands of dewdrops.
"The splendour of heaven has fallen on the earth," she said softly.
"You've come to me, and I thank you." And then she told him all she
wanted to say about her gratitude.
He felt quite ashamed. How beautifully she could express herself. She
was a clever woman and a good one too. What a shame it would be if he
were to interrupt her now with amorous speeches and strain her to his
heart in a violent fit of passion as he had [Pg 237] done on the first
evening, when he had been groping in the passage in the dark and had
run against somebody soft, who had pressed herself against the wall,
and who, when he whispered in an eager voice, "Is that you, Mrs.
Tiralla?" had flung her arms round his neck and had let herself be led
wherever he wanted. That evening she had been like a heifer that has
thirsted for a long time, and has been driven through dusty fields, and
that on seeing water rushes at it, so that the restraining rope breaks
and it drinks and drinks and cannot get enough. Now she was like a
saint.
The young fellow would not have ventured to embrace her, although his
arms and all his fingers were tingling, and although the nearness of
this beautiful woman and the warmth of the summer evening made his
blood surge through his veins. They were quite alone, quite hidden. A
deep silence reigned, save for a land-rail piping in the corn, and a
deer calling deep down in the Przykop--and still he controlled himself.
Everything was so different at Starydwór to what it was elsewhere.
Martin had not come to his age without having held a girl in his
arms--as an apprentice at the mill at home and more especially as a
soldier--but a woman like this one had never been his. For one short
moment a feeling of regret filled his heart at the thought that it
might perhaps have been still nicer with Rosa. Besides, he never felt
quite happy about this affair. What would his mother have said to it?
For this was a woman, a married woman! The blood mounted to his
head--his good old mother, who had been so honest all her life. Or was
it desire that drove the blood in this way to his cheeks? Oh, how
beautiful this woman was, more beautiful than any of the girls [Pg 238]
he had ever seen in his life. How white her neck looked just where her
dress was cut out a little. He could not control himself any longer, he
had to kiss it. But she crossed her hands over her white throat and
blushed as she whispered, "Not like that, not like that." But when she
again and again felt the pressure of his hot lips she could not
restrain herself any longer, and clasping him to her bosom with both
arms, she cried in a loud, jubilant voice, that echoed through the dark
fields, "All the saints be praised. I love you, I love you!"
[Pg 239]