Reviewing the matter later, I see that I made a poor choice of time
and place. But at the moment this did not strike me. It is a simple
thing, I reflected, for a man to pass another by haughtily and without
recognition, when they meet on dry land; but when the said man, being
an indifferent swimmer, is accosted in the water and out of his depth,
the feat becomes a hard one.
When, therefore, having undressed on the Cob on the following morning,
I spied in the distance, as I was about to dive, the gray head of the
professor bobbing on the face of the waters, I did not hesitate. I
plunged in and swam rapidly toward him.
His face was turned in the opposite direction when I came up with him,
and it was soon evident that he had not observed my approach. For
when, treading water easily in his immediate rear, I wished him good
morning in my most conciliatory tones, he stood not upon the order of
his sinking, but went under like so much pig iron. I waited
courteously until he rose to the surface once more, when I repeated my
remark.
He expelled the last remnant of water from his mouth with a wrathful
splutter, and cleared his eyes with the back of his hand.
"The water is delightfully warm," I said.
"Oh, it's you!" said he, and I could not cheat myself into believing
that he spoke cordially.
"You are swimming splendidly this morning," I said, feeling that an
ounce of flattery is often worth a pound of rhetoric. "If," I added,
"you will allow me to say so."
"I will not," he snapped. "I--" Here a small wave, noticing that his
mouth was open, walked in. "I wish," he resumed warmly, "as I said in
me letter, to have nothing to do with you. I consider ye've behaved in
a manner that can only be described as abominable, and I will thank ye
to leave me alone."
"But, allow me--"
"I will not allow ye, sir. I will allow ye nothing. Is it not enough
to make me the laughingstock, the butt, sir, of this town, without
pursuing me in this manner when I wish to enjoy a quiet swim?"
His remarks, which I have placed on paper as if they were continuous
and uninterrupted, were punctuated in reality by a series of gasps and
puffings as he received and ejected the successors of the wave he had
swallowed at the beginning of our little chat. The art of conducting
bright conversation while in the water is not given to every swimmer.
This he seemed to realize, for, as if to close the interview, he
proceeded to make his way as quickly as he could toward the shore.
Using my best stroke, I shot beyond him and turned, treading water as
before.
"But, professor," I said, "one moment."
I was growing annoyed with the man. I could have ducked him but for
the reflection that my prospects of obtaining his consent to my
engagement with Phyllis would hardly have been enhanced thereby. No
more convincing proof of my devotion can be given than this, that I
did not seize that little man by the top of his head, thrust him under
water, and keep him there.