He embarks for France--Is overtaken by a Storm--Is surprised with
the Appearance of Pipes--Lands at Calais, and has an Affray with the
Officers at the Custom-house.
Scarce had the vessel proceeded two leagues on the passage, when, the
wind shifting, blew directly in her teeth; so that they were obliged to
haul upon a wind, and alter their course. The sea running pretty high
at the same time, our hero, who was below in his cabin, began to be
squeamish, and, in consequence of the skipper's advice, went upon deck
for the comfort of his stomach; while the governor, experienced in these
disasters, slipped into bed, where he lay at his ease, amusing himself
with a treatise on the cycloid, with algebraical demonstrations, which
never failed to engage his imagination in the most agreeable manner.
In the mean time the wind increased to a very hard gale, the vessel
pitched with great violence, the sea washed over the deck, the master
was alarmed, the crew were confounded, the passengers were overwhelmed
with sickness and fear, and universal distraction ensued. In the midst
of this uproar, Peregrine holding fast by the taffrail, and looking
ruefully ahead, the countenance of Pipes presented itself to his
astonished view, rising, as it were, from the hold of the ship. At first
he imagined it was a fear-formed shadow of his own brain; though he
did not long remain in this error, but plainly perceived that it was no
other than the real person of Thomas, who, jumping on the quarter-deck,
took charge of the helm, and dictated to the sailors with as much
authority as if he had been commander of the ship. The skipper
looked upon him as an angel sent to his assistance; and the crew
soon discovered him to be a thoroughbred seaman, notwithstanding his
livery-frock; obeyed his orders with such alacrity, that, in a little
time, the confusion vanished; and every necessary step was taken to
weather the gale.
Our young gentleman immediately conceived the meaning of Tom's
appearance on board; and when the tumult was a little subsided, went up,
and encouraged him to exert himself for the preservation of the ship,
promising to take him again into his service, from which he should never
be dismissed, except at his own desire. This assurance had a surprising
effect upon Pipes, who, though he made no manner of reply, thrust the
helm into the master's hands, saying, “Here, you old bumboat-woman, take
hold of the tiller, and keep her thus, boy, thus;” and skipped about the
vessel, trimming the sails, and managing the ropes with such agility and
skill, that everybody on deck stood amazed at his dexterity.
Mr. Jolter was far from being unconcerned at the uncommon motion of the
vessel, the singing of the wind, and the uproar which he heard about
him: he looked towards the cabin-door with the most fearful expectation,
in hope of seeing some person who could give some account of the
weather, and what was doing upon deck; but not a soul appeared, and he
was too well acquainted with the disposition of his own bowels to make
the least alteration in his attitude. When he had lain a good while in
all the agony of suspense, the boy tumbled headlong into his apartment,
with such noise, that he believed the mast had gone by the board; and
starting upright in his bed, asked, with all the symptoms of horror,
what was the cause of that disturbance? The boy, half-stunned by his
fall, answered in a dolorous tone, “I'm come to put up the dead-lights.”
At the mention of dead-lights, the meaning of which he did not
understand, the poor governor's heart died within him: he shivered with
despair, his recollection forsaking him, he fell upon his knees in the
bed, and, fixing his eyes upon the book which was in his hand, began to
pronounce aloud with great fervour, “The time of a complete oscillation
in the cycloid, is to the time in which a body would fall through
the axis of the cycloid DV, as the circumference of a circle to its
diameter.”
He would in all likelihood have proceeded with the demonstration of this
proposition, had he not been seized with such a qualm as compelled
him to drop the book, and accommodate himself to the emergency of his
distemper: he therefore stretched himself at full length, and, putting
up ejaculations to Heaven, began to prepare himself for his latter end,
when all of a sudden the noise above was intermitted; and as he could
not conceive the cause of this tremendous silence, he imagined that
either the men were washed overboard, or that, despairing of safety,
they had ceased to oppose the tempest. While he was harrowed by this
miserable uncertainty, which, however, was not altogether unenlightened
by some scattered rays of hope, the master entered the cabin: then he
asked, with a voice half-extinguished by fear, how matters went upon
deck; and the skipper, with a large bottle of brandy applied to his
mouth, answered, in a hollow tone, “All's over now, master.” Upon which,
Mr. Jolter, giving himself over for lost, exclaimed, with the utmost
horror, “Lord have mercy upon us! Christ have mercy upon us;” and
repeated this supplication, as it were mechanically, until the master
undeceived him by explaining the meaning of what he had said, and
assuring him that the squall was over.
Such a sudden transition from fear to joy occasioned a violent agitation
both in his mind and body; and it was a full quarter of an hour, before
he recovered the right use of his organs, By this time the weather
cleared up, the wind began to blow again from the right corner, and the
spires of Calais appeared at the distance of five leagues; so that the
countenances of all on board were lighted up with joyous expectation and
Peregrine, venturing to go down into the cabin, comforted his governor
with an account of the happy turn of their affairs.
Jolter, transported with the thought of a speedy landing, began to
launch out in praise of that country for which they were bound. He
observed, that France was the land of politeness and hospitality, which
were conspicuous in the behaviour of all ranks and degrees, from the
peer to the peasant; that a gentleman and a foreigner, far from being
insulted and imposed upon by the lower class of people, as in England,
was treated with the utmost reverence, candour, and respect; and their
fields were fertile, their climate pure healthy, their farmers rich and
industrious, the subjects in general the happiest of men. He would have
prosecuted this favourite theme still farther, had not his pupil been
obliged to run upon deck, in consequence of certain warnings he received
from his stomach.
The skipper seeing his condition, very honestly reminded him of the cold
ham and fowls, with a basket of wine which he had ordered to be sent
on board, and asked if he would have the cloth laid below. He could
not have chosen a more seasonable opportunity of manifesting his own
disinterestedness. Peregrine made wry faces at the mention of food,
bidding him, for Heaven's sake, talk no more on that subject. He then
descended into the cabin, and put the same question to Mr. Jolter, who,
he knew, entertained the same abhorrence for his proposal; and meeting
with the like reception from him, went between decks, and repeated his
courteous proffer to the valet-de-chambre and lacquey, who lay sprawling
in all the pangs of a double evacuation, and rejected his civility with
the most horrible loathing. Thus baffled in all his kind endeavours,
he ordered the boy to secure the provision in one of his own lockers,
according to the custom of the ship.
It being low water when they arrived on the French coast, the vessel
could not enter the harbour, and they were obliged to bring to, and
wait for a boat, which in less than half-an-hour came alongside from the
shore. Mr. Jolter now came upon deck, and, snuffing up the French air
with symptoms of infinite satisfaction, asked of the boatmen, with the
friendly appellation of Mes enfants, what they demanded for transporting
him and his pupil with their baggage to the pier. But how was he
disconcerted, when those polite, candid, reasonable watermen demanded
a louis d'or for that service! Peregrine, with a sarcastic sneer,
observed, that he already began to perceive the justice of his encomiums
on the French; and the disappointed governor could say nothing in his
own vindication, but that they were debauched by their intercourse with
the inhabitants of Dover. His pupil, however, was so much offended at
their extortion, that he absolutely refused to employ them, even when
they abated one half in their demand, and swore he would stay on
board till the packet should be able to enter the harbour, rather than
encourage such imposition.
The master, who in all probability had some sort of fellow-feeling with
the boatmen, in vain represented that he could not with safety lie-to
or anchor upon a lee-shore: our hero, having consulted Pipes, answered,
that he had hired his vessel to transport him to Calais, and that he
would oblige him to perform what he had undertaken. The skipper, very
much mortified at this peremptory reply, which was not over and above
agreeable to Mr. Jolter, dismissed the boat, notwithstanding the
solicitations and condescension of the watermen. Running a little
farther in shore, they came to an anchor, and waited till there was
water enough to float them over the bar. Then they stood into the
harbour; and our gentleman, with his attendants and baggage, were
landed on the pier by the sailors, whom he liberally rewarded for their
trouble.
He was immediately plied by a great number of porters, who, like so
many hungry wolves, laid hold on his baggage, and began to carry it off
piecemeal, without his order or direction. Incensed at this officious
insolence, he commanded them to desist, with many oaths and opprobrious
terms that his anger suggested; and perceiving, that one of them did
not seem to pay any regard to what he said, but marched off with his
burthen, he snatched a cudgel out of his lacquey's hand, and overtaking
the fellow in a twinkling, brought him to the ground with one blow. He
was instantly surrounded by the whole congregation of this canaille, who
resented the injury which their brother had sustained, and would have
taken immediate satisfaction on the aggressor, had not Pipes, seeing his
master involved, brought the whole crew to his assistance, and exerted
himself so manfully that the enemy were obliged to retreat with many
marks of defeat, and menaces of interesting the commandant in their
quarrel. Jolter, who knew and dreaded the power of the French governor,
began to shake with apprehension, when he heard their repeated
threats, but they durst not apply to this magistrate, who, upon a fair
representation of the case, would have punished them severely for
their rapacious and insolent behaviour. Peregrine, without further
molestation, availed himself of his own attendants, who shouldered his
baggage and followed him to the gate, where they were stopped by the
sentinels until their names should be registered.
Mr. Jolter, who had undergone this examination before, resolved to
profit by his experience, and cunningly represented his pupil as a
young English lord. This intimation, supported by the appearance of his
equipage, was no sooner communicated to the officer, than he turned out
the guard, and ordered his soldiers to rest upon their arms, while his
lordship passed in great state to the Lion d'Argent, where he took up
his lodging for the night, resolving to set out for Paris next morning
in a post-chaise.
The governor triumphed greatly in this piece of complaisance and respect
with which they had been honoured, and resumed his beloved topic of
discourse, in applauding the method and subordination of the French
government, which was better calculated for maintaining order and
protecting the people, than any constitution upon earth. Of their
courteous attention to strangers, there needed no other proof than the
compliment which had been paid to them, together with the governor's
connivance at Peregrine's employing his own servants in carrying the
baggage to the inn, contrary to the privilege of the inhabitants.
While he expatiated with a remarkable degree of self-indulgence on
this subject, the valet-de-chambre coming into the room interrupted his
harangue by telling his master that their trunks and portmanteaus must
be carried to the custom-house, in order to be searched, and sealed with
lead, which must remain untouched until their arrival at Paris.
Peregrine made no objection to this practice, which was in itself
reasonable enough; but when he understood that the gate was besieged by
another multitude of porters, who insisted upon their right of carrying
the goods, and also of fixing their own price, he absolutely refused to
comply with their demand. Nay, he chastised some of the most clamorous
among them with his foot, and told them, that if their custom-house
officers had a mind to examine his baggage, they might come to the inn
for that purpose. The valet-de-chambre was abashed at this boldness of
his master's behaviour, which the lacquey, shrugging up his shoulders,
observed, was bien a l'Anglaise; while the governor represented it as an
indignity to the whole nation, and endeavoured to persuade his pupil to
comply with the custom of the place. But Peregrine's natural haughtiness
of disposition hindered him from giving ear to Jolter's wholesome
advice; and in less than half-an-hour they observed a file of musketeers
marching up to the gate. At sight of this detachment the tutor trembled,
the valet grew pale, and the lacquey crossed himself; but our hero,
without exhibiting any other symptoms than those of indignation, met
them on the threshold, and with a ferocious air demanded their business.
The corporal who commanded the file answered, with great deliberation,
that he had orders to convey his baggage to the custom-house; and seeing
the trunks standing in the entry, placed his men between them and the
owner, while the porters that followed took them up, and proceeded to
the douane without opposition.
Pickle was not mad enough to dispute the authority of this message; but
in order to gall and specify his contempt for those who brought it, he
called aloud to his valet, desiring him, in French, to accompany his
things, and see that none of his linen and effects should be stolen by
the searchers. The corporal, mortified at this satirical insinuation,
darted a look of resentment at the author, as if he had been interested
for the glory of his nation; and told him that he could perceive he was
a stranger in France, or else he would have saved himself the trouble of
such a needless precaution.