He achieves an Adventure at the Assembly, and quarrels with his
Governor.
At the assembly, were no fewer than three gentlemen of fortune, who
rivalled our lover in his passion for Emilia, and who had severally
begged the honour of dancing with her upon this occasion. She had
excused herself to each, on pretence of a slight indisposition that she
foresaw would detain her from the ball, and desired they would provide
themselves with other partners. Obliged to admit her excuse, they
accordingly followed her advice; and after they had engaged themselves
beyond the power of retracting, had the mortification of seeing her
there unclaimed. They in their turn made up to her, and expressed their
surprise and concern at finding her in the assembly unprovided, after
she had declined their invitation; but she told them that her cold had
forsaken her since she had the pleasure of seeing them, and that she
would rely upon accident for a partner. Just as she pronounced these
words to the last of the three, Peregrine advanced as an utter stranger,
bowed with great respect, told her he understood she was unengaged, and
would think himself highly honoured in being accepted as her partner for
the night; and he had the good fortune to succeed in his application.
As they were by far the handsomest and best-accomplished couple in the
room, they could not fail of attracting the notice and admiration of the
spectators, which inflamed the jealousy of his three competitors, who
immediately entered into a conspiracy against this gaudy stranger, whom,
as their rival, they resolved to affront in public. Pursuant to the plan
which they projected for this purpose, the first country-dance was no
sooner concluded, than one of them, with his partner, took place of
Peregrine and his mistress, contrary to the regulation of the ball. Our
lover, imputing his behaviour to inadvertency, informed the gentleman of
his mistake, and civilly desired he would rectify his error. The other
told him, in an imperious tone, that he wanted none of his advice, and
bade him mind his own affairs. Peregrine answered, with some warmth, and
insisted upon his right: a dispute commenced, high words, ensued, in the
course of which, our impetuous youth hearing himself reviled with the
appellation of scoundrel, pulled off his antagonist's periwig, and
flung it in his face. The ladies immediately shrieked, the gentlemen
interposed, Emilia was seized with a fit of trembling, and conducted
to her seat by her youthful admirer, who begged pardon for having
discomposed her, and vindicated what he had done, by representing the
necessity he was under to resent the provocation he had received.
Though she could not help owning the justice of his plea, she not the
less concerned at the dangerous situation in which he had involved
himself, and, in the utmost consternation and anxiety, insisted upon
going directly home: he could not resist her importunities; and her
cousin being determined to accompany her, he escorted to their lodgings,
where he wished them good night, after having, in order to quiet their
apprehensions, protested, that if his opponent was satisfied, he should
never take any step towards the prosecution of the quarrel. Meanwhile
the assembly-room became a of scene of tumult and uproar: the person who
conceived himself injured, seeing Peregrine retire, struggled with his
companions, in order to pursue and take satisfaction of our hero, whom
he loaded with terms of abuse, and challenged to single combat. The
director of the ball held a consultation with all the subscribers who
were present; and it was determined, by a majority of votes, that the
two gentlemen who had occasioned the disturbance should be desired to
withdraw. This resolution being signified to one of the parties then
present, he made some difficulty of complying, but was persuaded to
submit by his two confederates, who accompanied him to the street-door,
where he was met by Peregrine on his return to the assembly.
This choleric gentleman, who was a country squire, no sooner saw his
rival, than he began to brandish his cudgel in a menacing posture, when
our adventurous youth, stepping back with one foot, laid his hand upon
the hilt of his sword, which he drew half way out of the scabbard. This
attitude, and the sight of the blade which glistened by moonlight in his
face, checked, in some sort, the ardour of his assailant, who desired
he would lay aside his toaster, and take a bout with him at equal arms.
Peregrine, who was an expert cudgel-player, accepted the invitation:
then, exchanging weapons with Pipes, who stood behind him, put himself
in a posture of defence, and received the attack of his adversary, who
struck at random, without either skill or economy. Pickle could have
beaten the cudgel out of his hand at the first blow; but as in that
case he would have been obliged in honour to give immediate quarter, he
resolved to discipline his antagonist without endeavouring to disable
him, until he should be heartily satisfied with the vengeance he had
taken. With this view be returned the salute, and raised such a clatter
about the squire's pate, that one who had heard without seeing the
application, would have taken the sound for that of a salt-box, in the
hand of a dexterous merry-andrew, belonging to one of the booths at
Bartholomew-fair. Neither was this salutation confined to his head: his
shoulders, arms, thighs, ankles, and ribs, were visited with amazing
rapidity, while Tom Pipes sounded the charge through his fist.
Peregrine, tired with his exercise, which had almost bereft his enemy of
sensation, at last struck the decisive blow, in consequence of which the
squire's weapon flew out of his grasp, and he allowed our hero to be
the better man. Satisfied with this acknowledgment, the victor walked
upstairs with such elevation of spirits and insolence of mien, that
nobody chose to intimate the resolution, which had been taken in his
absence; there, having amused himself for some time in beholding the
country-dances, he retreated to his lodging, where he indulged himself
all night in the contemplation of his own success.
Next day in the forenoon he went to visit his partner; and the
gentleman, at whose house she lived, having been informed of his family
and condition, received him with great courtesy, as the acquaintance of
his cousin Gauntlet, and invited him to dinner that same day. Emilia was
remarkably well pleased, when she understood the issue of his adventure,
which began to make some noise in town even though it deprived her of
a wealthy admirer. The squire, having consulted an attorney about the
nature of the dispute, in hopes of being able to prosecute Peregrine
for an assault, found little encouragement to go to law: he therefore
resolved to pocket the insult and injury he had undergone, and to
discontinue his addresses to her who was the cause of both.
Our lover being told by his mistress that she proposed to stay a
fortnight longer in Windsor, he determined to enjoy her company all that
time, and then to give her a convoy to the house of her mother, whom he
longed to see. In consequence of this plan, he every day contrived some
fresh party of pleasure for the ladies, to whom he had by this time free
access; and entangled himself so much in the snares of love, that he
seemed quite enchanted by Emilia's charms, which were now indeed almost
irresistible. While he thus heedlessly roved in the flowery paths of
pleasure, his governor at Oxford alarmed at the unusual duration of
his absence, went to the young gentlemen who had accompanied him in his
excursion, and very earnestly entreated them to tell him, what they
knew concerning his pupil: they accordingly gave him an account of the
reencounter that happened between Peregrine and Miss Emily Gauntlet in
the castle, and mentioned circumstances sufficient to convince him that
his charge was very dangerously engaged.
Far from having an authority over Peregrine, Mr. Jolter durst not even
disoblige him: therefore, instead of writing to the commodore, he took
horse immediately, and that same night reached Windsor, where he found
his stray sheep very much surprised at his unexpected arrival. The
governor desiring to have some serious conversation with him, they
shut themselves up in an apartment, when Jolter, with great solemnity,
communicated the cause of his journey, which was no other than his
concern for his pupil's welfare; and very gravely undertook to prove,
by mathematical demonstration, that this intrigue, if further pursued,
would tend to the young gentleman's ruin and disgrace. This singular
proposition raised the curiosity of Peregrine, who promised to yield all
manner of attention, and desired him to begin without further preamble.
The governor, encouraged by this appearance of candour, expressed his
satisfaction in finding him so open to conviction, and told him he would
proceed upon geometrical principles; then, hemming thrice, observed that
no mathematical inquiries could be carried on, except upon certain data,
or concessions of truth that were self-evident; and therefore he must
have his assent to a few axioms, which he was sure Mr. Pickle would see
no reason to dispute. “In the first place, then,” said he, “you will
grant, I hope, that youth and discretion are with respect to each other
as two parallel lines, which, though infinitely produced, remain still
equidistant, and will never coincide: then you must allow that passion
acts upon the human mind in a ratio compounded of the acuteness of
sense, and constitutional heat; and, thirdly, you will not deny that
the angle of remorse is equal to that of precipitation. These postulata
being admitted,” added he, taking pen, ink, and paper, and drawing a
parallelogram, “let youth be represented by the right line, a b, and
discretion by another right line, c d, parallel to the former. Complete
the parallelogram, a b c d, and let the point of intersection, b,
represent perdition. Let passion, represented under the letter c, have
a motion in the direction c a. At the same time, let another motion
be communicated to it, in the direction c d, it will proceed in the
diagonal c b, and describe it in the same time that it would have
described the side c a, by the first motion, or the side, c d, by the
second. To understand the demonstration of this corollary, we must
premise this obvious principle, that when a body is acted upon by a
motion of power parallel to a right line given in position, this power,
or motion, has no effect to cause the body to approach towards that
line, or recede from it, but to move in a line parallel to a right line
only; as appears from the second law of motion: therefore c a being
parallel to d b--”
His pupil having listened to him thus far, could contain himself no
longer, but interrupted the investigation with a loud laugh, and
told him that his postulata put him in mind of a certain learned and
ingenious gentleman, who undertook to disprove the existence of natural
evil, and asked no other datum on which to found his demonstration,
but an acknowledgment that “everything that is, is right.” “You may
therefore,” said he, in a peremptory tone, “spare yourself the trouble
of torturing your invention; for, after all, I am pretty certain that
I shall want capacity to comprehend the discussion of your lemma, and
consequently be obliged to all the pangs of an ingenuous mind that I
refuse my assent to your deduction.”
Mr. Jolter was disconcerted at this declaration, and so much offended
at Peregrine's disrespect, that he could not help expressing his
displeasure, by telling him flatly, that he was too violent and
headstrong to be reclaimed by reason and gentle means; that he (the
tutor) must be obliged, in the discharge of his duty and conscience, to
inform the commodore of his pupil's imprudence; that if the laws of this
realm were effectual, they would take cognizance of the gipsy who
had led him astray; and observed, by way of contrast, that if such
a preposterous intrigue had happened in France, she would have been
clapped up in a convent two years ago. Our lover's eyes kindled with
indignation, when he heard his mistress treated with such irreverence:
he could scarce refrain from inflicting manual chastisement on the
blasphemer, whom he reproached in his wrath as an arrogant pedant,
without either delicacy or sense, and cautioned him against rising any
such impertinent freedoms with his affairs for the future on pain of
incurring more severe effects of his resentment.
Mr. Jolter, who entertained very high notions of that veneration to
which he thought himself entitled by his character and qualifications,
had not borne, without repining, his want of influence and authority
over his pupil, against whom he cherished a particular grudge ever since
the adventure of the painted eye; and therefore, on this occasion, his
politic forbearance had been overcome by the accumulated motives of his
disgust. Indeed, he would have resigned his charge with disdain, had
not he been encouraged to persevere, by the hopes of a good living which
Trunnion had in his gift, or known how to dispose of himself for the
present to better advantage.