I LOSE ANOTHER OF MY LOVERS
Happily no scandal--Rewarded for bearing children--$1250--for
becoming a mother--Royal poverty--Bernhardt, the black sheep, in hot
water again--The King rebukes me for taking his part.
LOSCHWITZ, _August 10, 1899_.
Frederick Augustus sent for Ferdinand and gave him to understand that he
had received divers anonymous letters, connecting my name with that of
the Privy Councillor. "Of course I don't believe a word of it," said my
husband, "but one in my position cannot afford to flout public opinion.
It will be for the best, if you cease your services to Her Imperial
Highness."
Upon the same day Ferdinand received orders from the King to stop his
visits.
The Baroness's doings, of course,--pin-pricks when she would like to
shoot with sharp cartridges. She evidently doesn't know the full extent
of our intimacy. As to Ferdinand, he acted the coward, left my letters
unanswered and didn't make the slightest attempt to continue relations
that might possibly turn out to his disadvantage.
He is contemptible. My heart is unengaged, but my pride sadly humbled.
* * * * *
DRESDEN, _February 15, 1900_.
The King sent me an emerald, one-twentieth the size of that given me by
the Shah of Persia. Frederick Augustus did himself proud and, on his
part, I gained a pearl necklace in acknowledgment of my renewed services
to the state. Little Marguerite was born January 24.
Frederick Augustus also gave me five thousand marks spending money. Not
much for a multi-millionaire's wife or daughter, I reckon, but a
terrible lot for an Imperial Highness.
When I read of the sums the Vanderbilts, Astors, Goulds and other
dollar-kings spend in Paris and London, and even with us in Dresden, I
sometimes wish I could exchange places with an American Duchess or
Countess long enough to buy all the things beautiful and pretty I would
like to own. An awful thing is royal poverty, but the reputation of
affluence and unlimited resources, stalking ahead of us, whenever we
enter a store or bargain with a jeweler, is worse.
"Your Imperial Highness is pleased to joke," says my man-milliner, when
I admit, unblushingly, that I haven't the wherewithal to buy the things
I dote on.
Wait till I am Queen, modistes, store-keepers, jewelers! The new Majesty
will show you that she cares for money only to get rid of it.
* * * * *
DRESDEN, _February 20, 1900_.
This morning Lucretia came running to the nursery and whispered to me:
"Imperial Highness, quick, to the boudoir. He begged so hard, I smuggled
him in."
She couldn't say more, for the Tisch was watching us. What new trouble
was brewing? Could it be Romano, dare-devil, who had come back to me?
If it was that poltroon, Ferdinand, I would have him thrown out by my
lackeys.
The mysterious visitor doffed wig and false moustache. "It's me," cried
Bernhardt. "You are my only hope."
"What have you been doing again?"
"They threaten to banish my girl from the garrison and I won't stand for
it. If they send her away or imprison her, I will kick up such a row,
all Europe shall hear of it."
"But why this masquerade?"
"S-s-sh!" whispered the young prince. "I came without leave." Quickly,
breathlessly, he continued: "I hear you are in His Majesty's good
graces. Go and see him on my behalf. Persuade him to annul the order of
banishment or render it ineffective."
"Bernhardt," I said, "why don't you marry?"
"If I could get a girl like you, Louise, I would--today, tomorrow, but
the royal scare-crows that will have penniless me,--much obliged! You
are a very exceptional woman," he added earnestly.
We held a council of war, discussing the situation from every
view-point, and finally I agreed to see Baumann.
"I'll have to vouch for your future good conduct," I said.
"On condition that they leave my girl alone."
"Precisely. And on your part you give me your word of honor not to
scandalize the people of your new garrison; to gradually break with the
girl and, in the end, get married."
"You are a brick, Louise," cried Bernhardt, and before I could shake him
off, he was kissing me all over my face. No cousinly or brotherly
kisses! His lips were apart, there was passion in his embrace. I
struggled, but his hand pressed against my back. What strength the
rascal's got!
* * * * *
DRESDEN, _February 21, 1900_.
The King is adamant. I no sooner mentioned Bernhardt's name than his
face froze.
"Does your husband know about your interference for that rake?"
When I answered in the negative, he praised Frederick Augustus for
strict submission to the royal will and upbraided me for "upholding
Bernhardt in his wickedness."
"The boy is desperate," I said.
"If he is desperate," cried the King, "let him do the one reasonable and
honorable thing: mend his evil ways. It will come easy if he seeks true
strength in prayer, in fasting and religious discipline."
"I submit to your Majesty that it might be well to send Bernhardt
travelling."
"On a tour of inspection of houses of ill-fame?" interrupted Albert
coldly. "This is a mere waste of words," he added, looking towards the
door, "and I'm sorry that Your Imperial Highness has the bad taste to
take the part of this disobedient, immoral and altogether reprehensible
_Lausbub_."
That meant my dismissal. I shudder when I think of the consequences of
the King's obstinacy.