THE MERMAID PALACE; OR, CAPTAIN TOUGHYARN'S DREAM.
"Come unto these yellow sands."
--_Tempest._
Well, messmates, I don't know whether I am sufficiently clear up aloft
to recollect all the details of my dream; but hold hard a moment,
perhaps I can. Ah! yes; I remember now.
I thought I was on board my good ship, the _Dreadnought_, which was
bound for Timbuctoo. I was seated in my cabin, making an entry in the
log, when I was aroused by a noise of shouting on deck. I thought I
would go and see what was adrift; but hardly was I out of the cabin
when, in the twinkling of a bowsprit, I found myself pinioned.
The crew were in a state of mutiny, and headed by the first mate. I was
speedily lashed to the mizen, when Ned Upaloft (that was the name of the
first mate), presenting a brace of pistols at my face, called upon me to
yield.
"Avast, there! Ned Upaloft," I cried; "and you, Jack Haulaway, with the
whole gang of you, and tell me what the devil is the meaning of this
mutinous conduct."
"No more palaver, but yield," he cried.
"Never!" I answered.
"Then you're a dead man," he said.
"Fire!" said I; "you may take my life, but never will I yield up my
power to a pack of mutineers."
His finger was on the trigger, and the next moment I expected to be my
last.
I must mention that the whole of that day the weather had been extremely
sultry. A storm arose suddenly, and the ship pitched and rolled
tremendously. All the crew were in liquor, and the helm was deserted. At
the moment I expected it was all up with me a terrible flash of
lightning struck the barrels of the pistols, which went off of their own
accord, luckily missing me.
Ned Upaloft was struck blind. The crew were sobered for a moment.
"Behold," said I, reaping advantage from the confusion, "behold, how
Heaven rescues her own. So may it go with all mutineers. Look up aloft,"
said I (a flight of Mother Cary's chickens just then passed overhead.)
"Look! has that no warning? What are those but the souls of departed
mariners, who have come to beckon you to your doom?"
A terrific clap of thunder almost instantaneously followed the flash,
and drowned my last words. The crew looked irresolute as to whether they
should renew their attack or throw down their arms and yield themselves
as mutineers; but they were roused by the voice of Jack Haulaway, the
second mate, who cried out,
"What! are you scared at the thunder and this man's words? Ho! there;
reef the main-top-gallant sail."
The crew looked up aloft and hesitated, for the top mast threatened to
snap every moment.
"Come, look sharp, or in two minutes we shall all be scudding under bare
poles. What! you're afraid? Cowards that you all are. It will have to be
done. I'll go myself."
And up went Jack Haulaway; but hardly had he taken in a reef, when the
mast snapped, and main-top-gallant sail, Jack Haulaway, and all were
blown far away into the sea.
"Behold the fate of your second commander," said I. "Look to yourselves
now, for your time is not far off."
The waves were now so enormous that the vessel was soon on her beam
ends. Smash went the bowsprit as it struck against a rock; crash, crash,
went one mast after the other, until we were literally scudding under
bare poles. It was difficult for the sailors to maintain their
equilibrium, and several fell overboard. I looked for the first mate. He
had disappeared.
Some of the sailors clung to the fragments of the vessel and tried to
pray, others supplied themselves with grog, till they lost all
consciousness. One of the men came forward to me, and, unloosing me,
begged my pardon; said he bore me no malice, and if he hadn't been in
liquor, he would never have joined the gang.
We all shook hands, for we deemed our last hour had come; and so,
indeed, it had for most of us. In another moment the vessel was dashed
against a rock, filled with water, and went down.
Some made for the lifeboat, others for pieces of floating timber. The
storm still continued with increasing fury. The sky was black as pitch,
and the waves the size of mountains. Planks, hencoops, and other
fragments of the wreck were floating about in all directions. Most of
the crew, if not all, must have been swallowed up by the waves, for, as
I looked around me, I saw no one. As for myself, I kept afloat on a cask
of grog, and thus I was left to the mercy of the winds and waves. Up one
wave, down another, still I held on to my cask of grog, out of which
every now and then I'd take a drop, just to keep out the cold; then,
replacing the bung, remounted my cask, and was contented with whatever
direction the waves chose to toss me. The lightning flashed and the
thunder growled around me.
It was for all the world like being inside an immense big drum, and Davy
Jones drumming outside. As I was being dashed to and fro by the
merciless billows, I thought I heard, mingled with the dying tones of
the thunder, the sound of a harp and singing. Could it be fancy? I
listened again. No. I was quite sure this time my ears did not deceive
me. The notes grew more and more clear, the voice more and more
distinct. Yet, who could it be? There was no land near for hundreds of
miles. It could be no mortal harper that touched those chords. I looked
around me in wonderment, but saw nothing. At length I was carried to the
top of a tremendous wave, and as I was sliding down the other side of it
astride my cask of grog, I perceived coming towards me from the opposite
wave a female form, beautiful as Venus, and naked to the waist.
Good Heavens! it was a mermaid. Yes, there could be no mistake. Her
golden tresses fluttered in the breeze, and every now and then I caught
a glimpse of a large dolphin-like tail of a greenish hue, that, at every
movement she made, gleamed like silver. We could not help meeting each
other; so, as I was always gallant towards the fair sex, I saluted her.
Heavens! What eyes! What teeth! What features! But above all, her smile.
Gentlemen, I assure you her beauty was divine. Talk about sentiment! But
words are wanting to express even the thousandth part of her charms.
Enough, gentlemen, that all that is innocent, virtuous, and heavenly,
was expressed in that smile she gave me.
"Angel of Beauty!" I exclaimed, "whatever your name, your parentage,
your birthplace, I vow----"
"Toughyarn, Toughyarn," said a voice within me, "don't make an old fool
of yourself. Mermaids are deceitful and dangerous, however beautiful,
as you will find out to your cost before long. Think of your age, your
position. Is it likely you can excite a genuine passion in any maid? For
shame, sir. How can you appear romantic in her eyes, astride a grog
cask. Only reflect a little."
But I would not reflect. I stifled the voice within me, and, abandoning
myself to the impulse of my passion, pressed my hand to my heart, and
was about to burst out afresh, when the fair one, fixing her large deep
blue eyes upon me--deep as the Mediterranean in a calm--with a
supernaturally winning smile, addressed me thus, in tones to which the
softest music was discord:
"Welcome, Captain Toughyarn, to our haunts. Welcome to the Mermaid
Grotto of pearl and coral, to my father's palace. It is long that we
await you. We have heard much of your exploits by sea, and we are all
impatient to make the acquaintance of a hero so illustrious."
"What!" I cried; "you have heard of me and expected me, O fair one?"
"Yes, captain, our Sybil has prophesied your arrival here, and your
visit to our palace. Oh, she told me many things about you that she has
seen in vision. The mutiny of your crew, your first mate struck with
blindness when about to take your life. The loss of your second mate
while reefing a sail. Your release by one of the crew, after having been
bound to the mast; the wreck of your vessel; and, finally, our meeting,
which tallies in the minutest particulars."
"What!" I exclaimed, in extreme astonishment, "all this she saw--even
the grog barrel?"
"All--everything," replied my charmer; "but follow me, and lose no time;
we all await you below."
So saying, she beckoned to me with the most bewitching smile, and
floundered away from me, lashing her tail playfully as she went, and
touching the chords of her harp, sang so sweetly, so divinely, some
submarine ditty about fairy palaces, halls of coral, and fair
mermaidens, that all resistance was vain.
"Don't be weak, Toughyarn," said the voice again; "resist her wiles, be
deaf to her song."
But I was deaf only to the voice that warned me.
"Divine enchantress," I cried, "I will follow you wherever you go."
A wave now dashed me forward till I found myself by her side.
"Are you really willing to accompany me?" she asked, with a gleam that
made me feel--I don't know how.
"To the utmost corners of the earth," I replied.
"And even to the depths of the ocean?" she asked.
"Even there," I replied. "Anywhere, anywhere with thee, for _I love
thee_."
The murder was out. She heaved a sigh, and her head sank on my shoulder.
"Take care, Toughyarn," said the voice; "be warned ere it be too late."
This was the last time the voice spoke to me. It _was_ too late.
"And do you really love me?" she asked, gazing up into my face, her
large blue eyes filling with tears.
"With all my heart and soul," I replied.
"And are you prepared to give me a proof of your love?"
"Any proof you may desire, my angel," I answered. "What is it?"
"I mean," she said, "would you be ready to make a _very great
sacrifice_?"
"Anything," I replied; "anything for thee."
"Generous mortal!" she exclaimed, and she sobbed aloud.
The sight of beauty in tears always moved me. I was deeply touched at
this outburst of grief on the part of my charmer, and did all I could to
soothe and comfort her. I put my arm round her delicate waist; she
offered no resistance, so, clasping her to my breast, I--I--well,
gentlemen--I kissed her. The lightning played around me; the thunder
crackling, threatened to break the drum of my ear, but I saw nothing, I
heard nothing; I was unconscious of everything around me in that long
loving kiss.
My lips seemed glued to hers. I thought I should never be able to tear
myself away. I felt her heart beat violently against my waistcoat. My
blood tingled in my fingers and toes with the intensity of my passion. I
no longer felt cold, for I bore a fire within.
When I at length removed my lips from hers, with a prodigious smack, she
fell fainting in my arms. It was as if her whole soul had been poured
forth in that one kiss, and there was none left to re-animate the frail
form. I sprinkled some of her native element in her face, and she
recovered.
I petted and caressed her, clasped her again and again to my breast,
while she clung round my neck, confessing her love for me, and begging
me never to desert her. Oh, the rapture of those moments! She vowed that
I was all in all to her, that she had never loved before, and never
should again; that she was mine, body and soul, and that if I ever
ceased to love her, she should die.
She called me her own dear Toughyarn, her hero, her "beau ideal," her
lover, her husband. She said that I was her master, and that she would
be my slave for life.
I vowed that I was unworthy to pick off the seaweed that adhered to her
tail. At the word "tail," she heaved a deep sigh, and, glancing at my
lower extremities, burst into a fresh flood of tears. I was unable to
account for these weeping fits, to which she seemed subject.
"Some female caprice," thought I; "nothing more."
"What ails thee, my beloved?" I said, tenderly. "Say why, O bewitching
enchantress, do those pearl drops continue to pay their tiny tribute to
the great ocean?"
"Oh!" she cried to herself, clasping her hands and looking upward, "I
feel the sacrifice is _too_ great. It will cost him dearly; but has he
not promised?"
"Promised!" I muttered. "What is this sacrifice, I wonder, that she
requires of me? What can it be but always to live with her in her own
home, under the sea. When once my soul is united with hers," I reasoned,
"we shall be one being. I shall be able to live under the water as well
as on _terra firma_. And what have I to make me wish to return to land?
I am a widower without family. I've no fortune, in fact, I am all but a
ruined man, and I feel anxious to begin a new phase of existence. The
sacrifice, after all, is not so great. What does it matter to me where I
live, as long as I can bask the livelong day in the sunshine of such
beauty?"
I felt that that long ambrosial kiss, the intensity of which had so
exhausted my beloved, had imparted to me a new life. I no longer dreaded
or believed in the possibility of being drowned. I felt an intense
desire to behold the wonders of the deep, and visit those palaces of
coral and mother-of-pearl that I had so often heard of, so seizing my
beloved by the waist, I exclaimed,
"Come, O joy of my soul; lead me to the hall of thy father. Let us
plunge into the turbulent billows. I thirst for thy element. I feel
irresistibly drawn down by some new power that has come over me."
"Follow me, then, my beloved," she said, and with one splash disappeared
beneath the waves.
To kick away my grog cask and plunge in after her was the work of a
moment. I dived down, down, down, till I caught up my charmer, and we
both dived together side by side. Down, down, down, deeper, deeper, and
deeper, still we dived through forests of seaweed, startling away all
sorts of curiously formed fish and sea monsters in our rapid course.
I thought I should never get to the bottom. At length, after long
continued diving, I thought I descried gleaming through the waters, the
mother-of-pearl roofs and pinnacles of various edifices; nor was I
deceived, for as I dived deeper, I could distinguish a great city, built
in a wild, weird, grotesque style of architecture, thoroughly new to me,
yet grand in design, far above human conception.
There were castles on rocks, both the rock and the castle being formed
out of one immense piece of coral, either white or red. The rock was
hollowed out by nature, and natural staircases of the same material
branched off in different directions, and led to the castle above. There
were grottoes of mother-of-pearl, bridges of clustering and festooned
coral, intermixed with common rock, and overgrown in parts by large
quaint sea plants, which hung down in long creepers, entangling and
festooning themselves, crossing and recrossing each other, and
communicating the upper part of the city with the lower, the town being
built partly on hills, and partly in the valleys.
Immense pits and hollows in what in other cities would have been the
road, appeared to lead to some part of the city below. Crowds of the
inhabitants were seen emerging from these grottoes, and disappearing
through others. Several were seated in chariots of mother-of-pearl and
turtle-shell, drawn by some hideous sea monster. There were mermen,
bearded and muscular, bearing in their hands tridents; troops of
mermaids of every conceivable variety of beauty, from the blue eyes and
flaxen hair of the north, to the dark, Oriental type. Gigantic zoophytes
and sea anemones opened their petals at us from every parapet. Music and
singing was heard everywhere, and the submarine grottoes echoed with the
strains of fair mermaidens. Groups of dancers surrounded us as we
descended, twisting their lithesome bodies into all sorts of elegant and
fantastic attitudes; beautiful mer-children sported with the most
hideous sea monsters it was possible to conceive.
The city seemed wealthy, the inhabitants contented, and yet there was
little or no sign of industry amongst them. All the houses and palaces
were evidently formed by the hand of nature, save where here and there a
window or a mother-of-pearl roof or pavement betrayed manual skill.
Money, as I ascertained, was an article unknown to the submarines. They
had few wants, and lived peacefully among themselves.
As my fair bride and I swam through the streets of this great city
together, my appearance attracted great curiosity. The children were
frightened, and darted away into some grotto hard by. I heard an old
white-bearded merman, who had, doubtless, seen a great deal in his day,
call out, "A landman! a landman!"
I began to feel fatigued after diving so long, and was greatly relieved
when my companion halted in front of a large portico with pillars of the
most delicate pink coral, and said, "This is my father's palace."
The mer-princess (for her father was no less than a king), instead of
knocking at the door, ran her fairy-like fingers over the strings of her
lyre, and wrung from its cords such a wild and unearthly strain, that it
seemed like the distant wail of souls in purgatory.
The door was opened by an immense shark, standing on the tip of his
tail. He opened and shut his huge mouth at us by way of salute, as we
entered the hall, which was paved with mother-of-pearl, inlaid with pale
coral and turtle-shell. My fair one conducted me through many passages
and corridors, the roofs and walls of which were covered over with every
sort of curious and beautiful shell found under the sea, till at length
we entered the dais chamber of the king, and I was introduced to his
majesty, and to his serene consort, who both received me graciously.
Formalities over, a richly liveried mer-attendant announced that the
royal sea-serpent, harnessed to the state carriage, awaited their
majesties' pleasure. The mer-king affably offered me the use of his
carriage, which I gladly accepted. Their majesties, Lurline, and myself
descended the stairs, and passing the portal, stepped into a magnificent
car or chariot, formed of mother-of-pearl and turtle-shell, the wheels
being of gold and embossed all over with the most exquisite precious
stones. The coachman, or charioteer, was a stout merman, with a trident,
with which he began to goad the enormous sea-serpent, who, rearing and
plunging, bid fair to upset us all. However, the skilful driver, drawing
the reins, made of strong seaweed, studded with pearls, kept him in
abeyance. We then visited all the chief temples and other public
buildings, and his majesty's parks and hunting grounds, chatting all the
time pleasantly with my beloved Lurline, and after having spent a most
enjoyable day, we returned towards evening to the palace.
It was the dinner hour. About a hundred harps from below struck up a
lively air, in lieu of a dinner bell.
"Captain Toughyarn," said the king, "will you take down the Princess
Lurline?"
I bowed, and offered my arm, and we swam into the dining hall. It was a
long and lofty apartment, with festoons of white and red coral pendent
from the arched roof. The walls were ornamented with choice shells in
patterns, and the floor covered with a matting of plaited seaweed. The
furniture was of mother-of-pearl and turtle-shell.
His majesty headed the table; his royal consort, who had come down
dressed for dinner in necklaces of immense pearls, sat opposite to him.
Other members of the blood royal, as well as some distinguished guests,
were also present. We were waited upon by sea monsters, who handed round
large open shells in their mouths, which served as plates.
A saw-fish brought me a knife and fork, a porpoise changed the plates, a
dolphin entered with the larger dishes, and a young whale handed round
the vegetables, which consisted of different sorts of seaweed. The
dinner was chiefly of fish, varied with albatross and sea gull, the
first course being oysters, by way of whetting the appetite.
The king was pleased to ask me about my adventures, so I entertained the
whole dinner table with a recital of them. The queen smiled benignantly
on me, and the beautiful Lurline gazed into my face with an expression
of the most undisguised admiration.
I felt myself quite the lion of the day, and had the conversation all to
myself. During the repast a bevy of fair mermaidens swam round and round
the hall, and over our heads, pouring forth divine melodies on the harp.
Towards the close of the meal his majesty entered into the particulars
of his own family history, and the great deeds of his ancestors, which I
shall not weary your patience, gentlemen, by retailing.
The dinner being at an end, we left the apartment, and the sea monsters,
after devouring everything that was left, cleared away the plates. We
strolled into the garden, which was filled with every imaginable variety
of sea plants. Some grew up like palm trees and tree ferns, others were
trained up against a wall, while others hung gracefully over the
verandah of the palace, after the manner of creepers. Large shells,
filled with sand, served as flower pots, and contained, as his majesty
assured me, plants of extraordinary rarity. I forget their crack-jaw
names.
A sword-fish acted as head gardener; he was digging away with his
proboscis as we entered, and a saw-fish was raking the flower beds.
It was already evening, and was getting dark. The king ordered the
saloon to be lighted up, when two lusty mermen brought the lamps, which
they hung in the corners of the apartment, and which consisted of
shells, to each of which were attached three chains of pearls, the bowl
of the lamp being filled with those phosphoric animalcula that are to be
seen at night round the prow of a vessel when the keel disturbs them as
it ploughs its course through the ocean.
The saloon being lighted, musicians were called. They were of both
sexes; sturdy mermen, with gongs and sea horns; those of the gentler sex
with harps. I was asked if I could dance, and replying that I could
after the fashion of my country, the music struck up a merry tune, and a
number of fair sirens insisted on me joining in the dance.
The dance commenced; it was a curious step, consisting of a wriggle of
the upper part of the body, and a splash with the tail. They formed a
circle, each taking hold of the other's hand, closing and widening
several times; then letting go of hands, each dived down head foremost,
their fingers touching the ground, flapping their tails upwards.
They went through all sorts of fantastic steps, which I tried hard to
imitate, and my failures were the cause of much merriment. I was asked
whether I would favour them with a dance of my country, so I danced the
hornpipe. With this they were delighted, and wanted it repeated. I had
to dance it again, and again, to please them.
Refreshments were handed round by the same sea monsters, and the evening
wound up with games--hide and seek, blind man's buff--and other
amusements.
The queen said she was glad to see me enjoy myself so much. One
bewitching young siren, fixing her dark eyes upon me, and then looking
down with a sigh, said it was pleasing to see such a great hero as I was
condescending to take part in their humble games. Another hoped that I
was in no hurry to leave them, as she was looking forward to many such
pleasant evenings. A third mermaid wished that she had been born with
legs, in order to learn the hornpipe. A fourth hoped I should sleep well
after my fatigue.
The party at length broke up, and as I was the lion of the evening, I
stationed myself near the door to shake hands with all the pretty
mermaids as they swam out of the saloon. I gave a gentle squeeze to
each, and I am certain that if not all, at least the greater part of
those young ladies, went to bed in love with me that night. But what of
Lurline? I must not forget _her_. The fact was I did not like to be too
pointed in my attentions, lest it should excite suspicion, for as yet
her parents knew nothing of our attachment, so I appeared rather to
neglect her than otherwise.
Poor child! she retired to rest unhappy that night, fancying that I had
become estranged towards her. I had no opportunity for an explanation,
and after quitting the saloon was shown to my bedroom by a mer-servant
girl.
The walls and ceiling of my bed-chamber were covered over with handsome
shells, the floor inlaid with mother-of-pearl and coral, over which was
a carpet of variegated seaweed, plaited in a pattern. The bed posts were
inlaid with mother-of-pearl, agate, lapis lazuli, and other rare stones.
The mattress was of very soft sponge, and the counterpane one broad
piece of seaweed.
Having undressed, I blew out the candle; that is to say, I smashed the
animalcula inside the shell that the servant girl brought me in lieu of
a candlestick, and tucking myself up I tried to sleep, but was haunted
all night by the bright eyes of Lurline.
Towards morning I fell into a light sleep, from which I was roused by
the dulcet tones of a harp at my door and the enchanting voice of
Lurline singing. I leaped from my couch, donned my clothes, and welcomed
her with a kiss on the sly.
"Cruel one!" she said, "I thought you had ceased to love me."
"_I_ cease to love thee, sweetest! Never!"
"You are quite sure you love me, then?" she said. "And you will never
desert me?"
"Desert thee! my angel," said I. "Do you think I could be so base?"
"Hush!" she whispered. "Here comes mamma," and she dived downstairs.
"Lurline, Lurline," cried her majesty, who had overheard every word of
our conversation. "Lurline, come here; I wish to speak with you."
Up swam Lurline again, pale with fright. She entered her mother's room,
and the queen turned the key. I heard the mother's voice within speaking
angrily, and half-an-hour afterwards Lurline left the chamber, sobbing.
I came forward to soothe her, but she motioned me away, and put her
finger to her lip. I dived after her downstairs, resolved to hear the
worst. It seems her mother had scolded her for flirting; said she was
too young to marry; that I was too old for her; that she knew nothing of
my family; and that she must not fix her affections upon anyone who was
not of royal blood.
"Here, then," thought I, "among this simple primitive people, there is
as much aristocratic pride as in our more civilised countries."
What was to be done? Relinquish Lurline for a foolish piece of barbarous
pride. I couldn't and wouldn't. There was nothing left me but to speak
to his majesty; assume as much dignity as I could and boast of my
pedigree.
At breakfast I thought both the king and queen cold towards me, but I
appeared not to notice it, and talked away fluently about my country, my
family, and insinuated, rather than said outright, that I was of royal
blood.
Their manner towards me grew by degrees less frigid, and after breakfast
I followed his majesty to his dais chamber, and proposed for his
daughter's hand. He demurred for a long time, but I declared that in my
own country I, too, had been a king; that I had been driven from my
throne by my rebellious subjects; that, growing disgusted with ruling, I
had sought refuge from _ennui_ in a life of adventure.
His majesty, like his people, being of a simple nature, believed all I
said, and left me, saying he would think about it and talk to the queen.
I saw him from the window shortly afterwards in earnest conversation
with her majesty in the garden. I burned to know the result of their
interview.
In the course of the day one of the queen's mermaids-of-honour informed
me that her majesty desired to speak with me. I entered into her
presence trembling.
She accosted me thus, "Captain Toughyarn, his majesty has already
acquainted me with your proposal, but before we give our consent to a
marriage with our daughter, even after your assertion that you are of
royal blood, we must know you a little longer. Marriages are not to be
contracted in a hurry. You did very wrong to engage our daughter's
affections without first consulting us in the matter. It was an insult
to our royal self. However, let that pass; it is too late now. My
daughter seems thoroughly to have set her affections upon you. I have
lectured her severely for her imprudence; but the matter seems to have
gone so far, that I fear to break her heart if I peremptorily refuse to
give my consent to this marriage. If my daughter will take my advice,
she will, upon reflection, break off this match. You'll excuse me,
Captain Toughyarn, for saying that I think your age a decided
objection."
"As regards my age, your majesty," I said, "the men of my country get
grey and bald at thirty, though they maintain their healthful vigour to
a prolonged period. I myself am thirty-six." (I would not say that I was
sixty-three.)
Her majesty looked incredulous, and then a momentary smile crossed her
features, as if she were having a joke all to herself, but she stifled
it immediately.
"There is another thing, Captain Toughyarn," said her majesty, "that
perhaps you may not be aware of. Marriages between your race and ours
are extremely rare. When they occur some sacrifice is always expected on
the part of the gentleman, just by way of proving his love," and she
glanced at my legs as she spoke. I did not quite understand her meaning.
"Sacrifice--sacrifice," I said to myself. "Ah! yes," said I, aloud;
"your majesty does not wish that your daughter should leave her house
and visit my country. Is it not so?"
"That is part of the conditions, but not all," said her majesty.
"And what else might your majesty be pleased to exact from me?" I asked.
"Well," she said, with a smile and a second glance at my legs, "we
should like you--we expect you to--to--to become in fact, like one of
us--to conform----"
"Oh, quite so," I said, without as yet catching her meaning thoroughly;
"to conform--yes--certainly--to all the customs of the country I have
adopted."
"To _all_ of them, mind?"
"Yes."
"Then you consent to this trifling sacrifice. You have no objection
to--to be operated upon?"
"Operated upon!" I cried in astonishment. "What?--How?--I don't quite
catch your majesty's meaning."
"Well, Captain Toughyarn," said her majesty, "if I _must_ be more
explicit, the fact is, that legs are out of fashion here, only tails are
worn in this country. If you really wish to marry our daughter, you must
submit to an operation."
"W-h-e-w!" whistled I, the real nature of the sacrifice dawning upon me
for the first time. "So that is your meaning!"
"Precisely. Do you refuse?"
Now, I always prided myself particularly on my legs. In my youth they
were the admiration of the sex; even now they are far from contemptible,
and to give them in exchange for a tail was of all things the furthest
from my thoughts. I did not know what to answer.
At length I asked, "And this operation--how is it performed, your
majesty?"
"Oh, it is simple enough," was the reply. "A surgeon is called, who
amputates the lower extremities; a dolphin or other large fish is
procured, which, after being killed, is cut in half, and the tail half
of the fish is bound to that part of your body still suffering from the
operation, until the parts unite, and the transformation is complete."
"I am infinitely obliged to your majesty," said I, "but I hope you will
pardon me if I refuse to comply with this last condition. Legs such as
mine are extremely prized in my country; in fact, they are only to be
found in those of the blood royal, and I really could not consent to
part with such a very strong mark; indeed, perhaps, the only mark of
royalty about my person."
"Then you refuse?"
"Absolutely," said I, bowing.
"In that case," said the queen, "I must talk to his majesty, to see what
can be done."
The queen rose. I bowed, and left the apartment.
Shortly afterwards I heard the king's voice in great wrath, calling out,
"What! he won't sacrifice his legs? Did you say he _won't_? _Won't_,
indeed! I'll let him know who the mer-king is. He comes here uninvited,
wheedles himself into our daughter's affections, and then his love is
found wanting at the proof. He won't even give up his hideous legs, and
wear a respectable tail for _her_ sake. By my trident, he shall for
_mine_. I'll tail him. Here, Thomas!" That was the name of the shark
that opened the door for us. "What ho! Thomas, bite off that insolent
stranger's legs this instant. Come, make haste, and lose no time about
it."
I happened to be looking out of my bedroom window at the time, which was
open. At these words I plunged through the casement and struck out
upwards. I had not proceeded very far--though in all my life I never
struck out as I did then--when I heard the palace door open and the
splash of the huge monster behind me. I struck out upwards, upwards,
ever upwards, but the immense fish was at my heels with the rapidity of
lightning.
Truly, I thought my last moment was at hand. With the energy that
despair alone gives, I struck out so frantically, that even the shark
had hard work to keep up with me, but I was fast getting exhausted.
What should I do when completely so? There seemed no hope for me.
"While strength lasts, I'll use it," said I, to myself, and struck out
more desperately than ever, but the shark gained upon me, nevertheless.
At length, after repeated exertions, my head appeared once more above
water. Once more I felt the fresh breeze on my bald pate.
"Thank heaven!" I cried.
There was a vessel in sight, not far off. I hailed her, bawling out with
all my might and main, still swimming furiously. The shark was now
nearer than ever. He had already turned on his back, preparatory to
biting off my legs, and the ship though she had noticed my distress, and
was coming fast to my rescue, was not sufficiently near as yet to save
me.
I felt the tip of the monster's nose against my shoe. I lunged out a
tremendous kick, which ought to have sent several of its teeth down its
throat; at any rate, it sent him backward about a foot. Meanwhile, I
struck out more fiercely than ever, but the brute recovered itself and
was at me again.
My strength was now quite exhausted. How I managed to hold out so long
puzzles me now. I was about to sink from sheer exhaustion. In another
moment my legs must have been off, had not one of the officers of the
ship thrown out a rope, which I clutched eagerly, and being speedily
hauled on deck, the monster was baulked of its prey.
Whilst yet dangling in air, before my feet had time to touch the deck, I
heard a "bang," and, looking behind me, to my intense relief, I saw the
corpse of my dread foe bobbing up and down in the waves, and staining
the water with his blood.
"So much for Thomas," thought I.
The sailors were just about to lug it on board, when at this juncture I
awoke.
Lucky for me that my flight was so precipitate. If _she_ had crossed my
path at the last moment I thoroughly believe the very sight of her sweet
face would have made me consent to the operation. Poor Lurline! But what
is the use of giving way to sensibility, gentlemen? And, as to losing
one's legs, it is bad enough to lose them in an engagement for the
honour and glory of one's country, but to have them bitten off by a
shark, or amputated by a mer-surgeon, at the caprice of a mer-king, and
a fish's tail substituted in lieu thereof, is a thing that Toughyarn
can't quite stomach.
Supposing me to have been weak enough to have submitted to the operation
at the tears and entreaties of Lurline, it becomes a very different
matter when my limbs are exacted as a forfeiture, and imperiously
demanded by an infuriated parent.
Toughyarn may be as weak as a child in the hands of a pretty woman, but
he won't be _forced_ to anything by the greatest tyrant that ever
existed.
* * * * *
"Bravo, Toughyarn!" cried all the company, with one voice.
This enthusiasm was as much in praise of the sentiment that the captain
had wound up with as for the story itself.
"I knew the captain wouldn't be beaten in a yarn by the best of us,"
said Hardcase, "although he did find mine rather difficult to swallow."
Cheers and rattling of glasses followed, and the captain's health was
drunk with due honours, after which the chairman rose and addressed the
company thus:
"Most honourable and august members and guests of the Wonder Club, you
will all allow that the gallant captain has amply expiated his offence.
There is, however, an individual present who has been guilty of the same
offence as the captain, and who has not yet undergone the penance
expected from him by our club."
All eyes were turned towards the little comedian who blushed and
laughed.
"Need I point out that individual, gentlemen?"
Cries of "No, no!"
"Now, Jollytoast, for your turn, old boy," said the tragedian.
"Hear, hear!" cried other members.
"Gentlemen," continued Mr. Oldstone, "our time is short; the clock has
already struck two, and I have observed more than one yawn from amongst
the company. It will be my painful duty to dismiss this genial meeting,
but I cannot conscientiously do so without first performing an act of
justice to the company. I, therefore, sentence Mr. Jollytoast to a comic
song before our meeting breaks up." (Cheers and laughter. Cries of
"Hear, hear," and "Now then Jollytoast; a song, a song--Jollytoast for a
song!")
The little gentleman, thus addressed, begged for a moment's reflection,
and then broke into a very merry ditty with a chorus, in which all had
to join. There was plenty of acting and grimace in it, with here and
there a part spoken, and any amount of "tooral-looral" in the chorus.
The song being ended, our comic friend was much applauded, and the
chairman, in a short speech, expressed himself satisfied with the
expiation, and, wishing all the company a "good night," and many more
such genial meetings, was about to retire, when Captain Toughyarn called
out, "Avast! there, chairman. You are never going to dismiss the crew
without splicing the main brace first!"
"True, true, captain," said the president; "besides the health of our
sublime warbler, Mr. Jollytoast, has not been drunk yet. Fill your
glasses, gentlemen, and drink to the health of Mr. Jollytoast."
Shouts and yells ensued, during which our comic guest's health was drunk
with three times three, to which he responded in a short and laughable
speech that called forth more cheering.
"And now, gentlemen," said the chairman, "after having spent the tenth
anniversary of our club in the company of mermaids, sea monsters,
ghouls, spirits, and phantom fleas, how can we do better than wind up
this honourable meeting by joining hands and singing that song composed
by one of our members--now, alas! no more--to be sung at the
inauguration of the Wonder Club?"
The proposal was received with applause, and all the company joining
hands, our host included, sung the following ditty:--
SONG OF THE WONDER CLUB.
As we join hand in hand
Let us sing to our band,
And lift up our voice in a ditty;
May memories well stored
E'er enliven our board
With the wondrous, the weird, and the witty.
Let each thirsty soul
Round the merry punch bowl
Drink deep to our brotherhood's founding,
And loud be the cheers
That resound in the ears
Of the member with tale most astounding.
Round the merry Yule flame
May our band of the same
Meet year after year in their niches,
And list as of yore
To our tales by the score
Of phantoms, wraiths, goblins, and witches.
Then our song's jocund sound,
When our nectar flows round,
Sure Olympus was never so merry.
Right jovial our crew,
Whate'er be the brew,
Whether brandy, port, whisky or sherry.
Now whate'er befall,
Here's a "good-night" to all,
May Queen Mab with her train cheer our slumber;
And with one last toast,
Let us drown every ghost,
Or goblin, or ghoul, in a bumper.
The song at an end, a last bumper was drunk by way of a nightcap, and
each gallant member or guest walked, or staggered, as the case might be,
off to bed.
"Ho, steward!" cried the captain, to the landlord; "douse the glims, and
show the passengers to their cabins. Where have you slung my hammock?"
Our host provided candles for each of his guests, and bidding them all
"good-night," gave a yawn, and followed the example of the rest.