The lawyers are the real aristocracy of America; they comprehend nearly
the whole of the gentility, talent, and liberal information of the
Union. Any one who has had the pleasure of being at one of their
meetings, such as the Rent Club at New York, would be satisfied that
there is no want of gentlemen with enlightened, liberal ideas in the
United States; but it is to the law, the navy, and the army, that you
must chiefly look for this class of people. Such must ever be the case
in a democracy, where the mass are to be led; the knowledge of the laws
of the country, and the habit of public speaking being essential to
those who would reside at the helm or assist in the evolutions: the
consequence has been, that in every era of the Union, the lawyers have
always been the most prominent actors; and it may be added that they
ever will play the most distinguished parts. Clay and Webster of the
present day are, and all the leading men of the former generation were,
lawyers. Their presidents have almost all been lawyers, and any
deviation from this custom has been attended with evil results; witness
the elevation of General Jackson to the presidency, and the heavy price
which the Americans have paid for their phantom glory. The names of
Judge Marshall and of Chancellor Kent are well known in this country,
and most deservedly so: indeed, I am informed it has latterly been the
custom in our own law courts, to cite as cases the decisions of many of
the superior American judges--a just tribute to their discrimination and
their worth.
The general arrangement of that part of the American constitution
relating to the judicature is extremely good, perhaps the best of all
their legislative arrangements, yet it contains some great errors; one
of which is, that of district and inferior judges being _elected_, as it
leaves the judge at the mercy of an excitable and overbearing people,
who will attempt to dictate to him as they do to their spiritual
teacher. Occasionally he must choose whether he will decide as they
wish, or lose his situation on the ensuing election. Justice as well as
religion will be interfered with by the despotism of the democracy.
The Americans are fond of law in one respect, that is, they are fond of
going to law. It is excitement to them, and not so expensive as in this
country. It is a pleasure which they can afford, and for which they
cheerfully pay.
But, on the other hand, the very first object of the Americans, after a
law has been passed, is to find out how they can evade it; this
exercises their ingenuity, and it is very amusing to observe how
cleverly they sometimes manage it. Every state enactment to uphold the
morals, or for the better regulation of society, is immediately opposed
by the sovereign people.
An act was passed to prohibit the playing of _nine pins_, (a very
foolish act, as the Americans have so few amusements): as soon as the
law was put in force, it was notified every where, "_Ten_ pins played
here," and they have been played every where, ever since.
Another act was passed to put down billiard tables, and in this instance
every precaution was taken by an accurate description of the billiard
table, that the law might be enforced. Whereupon an extra _pocket_ was
added to the billiard table, and thus the law was evaded.
When I was at Louisville, a bill which had been brought in by congress,
to prevent the numerous accidents which occurred in steam navigation,
came into force. Inspectors were appointed to see that the steam-boats
complied with the regulations; and those boats which were not provided
according to law, did not receive the certificate from the inspectors,
and were liable to a fine of five hundred dollars if they navigated
without it. A steam-boat was ready to start; the passengers clubbed
together and subscribed half the sum, (two hundred and fifty dollars),
and, as the informer was to have half the penalty, the captain of the
boat went and informed against himself and received the other half; and
thus was the fine paid.
At Baltimore, in consequence of the prevalence of hydrophobia, the civic
authorities passed a law, that all dogs should be muzzled, or, rather,
the terms were, "that all dogs should wear a muzzle," or the owner of a
dog not wearing a muzzle, should be brought up and fined; and the
regulation farther stated that anybody convicted of having, "removed the
muzzle from off a dog should also be severely fined." A man, therefore,
tied a muzzle to his dog's tail (the act not stating where the muzzle
was to be placed). One of the city officers, perceiving this dog with
his muzzle at the wrong end, took possession of the dog and brought it
to the town-hall; its master being well known, was summoned, and
appeared. He proved that he had complied with the act, in having fixed
a muzzle on the dog; and, farther, the city officer having taken the
_muzzle off_ the dog's tail, he insisted that he should be fined five
dollars for so doing.
The _striped_ pig, I have already mentioned; but were I to relate all I
have been told upon this head, it would occupy too much of the reader's
time and patience.
The mass of the citizens of the United States have certainly a very
great dislike to all law except their own, i.e., the decision of the
majority; and it must be acknowledged that it is not only the principle
of equality, but the parties who are elected as district judges, that,
by their own conduct, contribute much to that want of respect with which
they are treated in their courts. When a judge on his bench sits
half-asleep, with his hat on, and his coat and shoes off; his heels
kicking upon the railing or table which is as high or higher than his
head; his toes peeping through a pair of old worsted stockings, and with
a huge quid of tobacco in his cheek, you cannot expect that much respect
will be paid to him. Yet such is even now the practice in the interior
of the western states. I was much amused at reading an English critique
upon a work by Judge Hall (a district judge), in which the writer says,
"We can imagine his honour in all the solemnity of his flowing wig,"
etcetera, etcetera. The last time I saw his _honour_ he was cashier to
a bank at Cincinnati, thumbing American bank-notes--dirtier work than is
ever practised in the lowest grade of the law, as any one would say if
he had ever had any American bank-notes in his possession.
As may be supposed, in a new country like America, many odd scenes take
place. In the towns in the interior, a lawyer's office is generally a
small wooden house, of one room, twelve feet square, built of
clapboards, and with the door wide open; and the little domicile with
its tenant used to remind me of a spider in its web waiting for flies.
Not forty years back, on the other side of the Alleghany mountains, deer
skins at forty cents per pound, and the furs of other animals at a
settled price, were _legal_ tender, and received both by judges and
lawyers as fees. The lawyers in the towns on the banks of the
Susquehannah, where it appears the people, (notwithstanding Campbell's
beautiful description,) were extremely litigious, used to receive all
their fees in kind, such as skins, corn, whiskey, etcetera, etcetera,
and, as soon as they had sufficient to load a raft, were to be seen
gliding down the river to dispose of their cargo at the first favourable
mart for produce. Had they worn the wigs and gown of our own legal
profession, the effect would have been more picturesque.
There is a record of a very curious trial which occurred in the state of
New York. A man had lent a large iron, kettle, or boiler, to another,
and it being returned _cracked_, an action was brought against the
borrower for the value of the kettle. After the plaintiff's case had
been heard, the counsel for the defendant rose and said:--"Mister Judge,
we defend this action upon three counts, all of which we shall most
satisfactorily prove to you.
"In the first place, we will prove, by undoubted evidence, that the
kettle was cracked when we borrowed it.
"In the second, that the kettle, when we returned it was whole and
sound.
"And in the third, we will prove that we never borrowed the kettle at
all."
There is such a thing as proving too much, but one thing is pretty
fairly proved in this case, which is, that the defendant's counsel must
have originally descended from the Milesian stock.
I have heard many amusing stories of the peculiar eloquence of the
lawyers in the newly settled western states, where metaphor is so
abundant. One lawyer was so extremely metaphorical upon an occasion,
when the stealing of a pig was the case in point, that at last he got to
"coruscating rays." The judge (who appeared equally metaphorical--
himself) thought proper to pull him up by saying:--"Mr --, I wish you
would take the feathers from the wings of your imagination, and put them
into the tail of your judgment."