_The Baron harangues the company, and they continue the pursuit--The
Baron, wandering from his retinue, is taken by the savages, scalped, and
tied to a stake to be roasted; but he contrives to extricate himself,
and kills the savages--The Baron travels overland through the forests of
North America, to the confines of Russia--Arrives at the castle of the
Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky, and gallops into the kingdom of Loggerheads--A
battle, in which the Baron fights the Nareskin in single combat, and
generously gives him his life--Arrives at the Friendly Islands, and
discourses with Omai--The Baron, with all his attendants, goes from
Otaheite to the isthmus of Darien, and having cut a canal across the
isthmus, returns to England._
"My friends, and very learned and profound Judiciarii," said I, "be not
disheartened that Wauwau has escaped from you at present: persevere, and
we shall yet succeed. You should never despair, Munchausen being your
general; and therefore be brave, be courageous, and fortune shall second
your endeavours. Let us advance undaunted in pursuit, and follow the
fierce Wauwau even three times round the globe, until we entrap her."
My words filled them with confidence and valour, and they unanimously
agreed to continue the chase. We penetrated the frightful deserts
and gloomy woods of America, beyond the source of the Ohio, through
countries utterly unknown before. I frequently took the diversion of
shooting in the woods, and one day that I happened with three attendants
to wander far from our troop, we were suddenly set upon by a number of
savages. As we had expended our powder and shot, and happened to have
no side-arms, it was in vain to make any resistance against hundreds
of enemies. In short, they bound us, and made us walk before them to
a gloomy cavern in a rock, where they feasted upon what game they had
killed, but which not being sufficient, they took my three unfortunate
companions and myself, and scalped us. The pain of losing the flesh from
my head was most horrible; it made me leap in agonies, and roar like
a bull. They then tied us to stakes, and making great fires around us,
began to dance in a circle, singing with much distortion and barbarity,
and at times putting the palms of their hands to their mouths, set up
the war-whoop. As they had on that day also made a great prize of some
wine and spirits belonging to our troop, these barbarians, finding it
delicious, and unconscious of its intoxicating quality, began to drink
it in profusion, while they beheld us roasting, and in a very short
time they were all completely drunk, and fell asleep around the fires.
Perceiving some hopes, I used most astonishing efforts to extricate
myself from the cords which I was tied, and at length succeeded. I
immediately unbound my companions, and though half roasted, they still
had power enough to walk. We sought about for the flesh that had been
taken off our heads, and having found the scalps, we immediately adapted
them to our bloody heads, sticking them on with a kind of glue of a
sovereign quality, that flows from a tree in that country, and the parts
united and healed in a few hours. We took care to revenge ourselves on
the savages, and with their own hatchets put every one of them to death.
We then returned to our troop, who had given us up for lost, and they
made great rejoicings on our return. We now proceeded in our journey
through this prodigious wilderness, Gog and Magog acting as pioneers,
hewing down the trees, &c., at a great rate as we advanced. We passed
over numberless swamps and lakes and rivers, until at length we
discovered a habitation at some distance. It appeared a dark and gloomy
castle, surrounded with strong ramparts, and a broad ditch. We called
a council of war, and it was determined to send a deputation with a
trumpet to the walls of the castle, and demand friendship from the
governor, whoever he might be, and an account if aught he knew of
Wauwau. For this purpose our whole caravan halted in the wood, and Gog
and Magog reclined amongst the trees, that their enormous strength
and size should not be discovered, and give umbrage to the lord of
the castle. Our embassy approached the castle, and having demanded
admittance for some time, at length the drawbridge was let down, and
they were suffered to enter. As soon as they had passed the gate it was
immediately closed after them, and on either side they perceived ranks
of halberdiers, who made them tremble with fear. "We come," the
herald proclaimed, "on the part of Hilaro Frosticos, Don Quixote,
Lord Whittington, and the thrice-renowned Baron Munchausen, to claim
friendship from the governor of this puissant castle, and to seek
Wauwau." "The most noble the governor," replied the officer, "is at all
times happy to entertain such travellers as pass through these immense
deserts, and will esteem it an honour that the great Hilaro Frosticos,
Don Quixote, Lord Whittington, and the thrice-renowned Baron Munchausen,
enter his castle walls."
In short, we entered the castle. The governor sat with all our company
to table, surrounded by his friends, of a very fierce and warlike
appearance. They spoke but little, and seemed very austere and reserved,
until the first course was served up. The dishes were brought in by
a number of bears walking on their hind-legs, and on every dish was a
fricassee of pistols, pistol-bullets, sauce of gunpowder, and aqua-vitæ.
This entertainment seemed rather indigestible by even an ostrich's
stomach, when the governor addressed us, and informed me that it was
ever his custom to strangers to offer them for the first course a
service similar to that before us; and if they were inclined to accept
the invitation, he would fight them as much as they pleased, but if
they could not relish the pistol-bullets, &c., he would conclude them
peaceable, and try what better politeness he could show them in his
castle. In short, the first course being removed untouched, we dined,
and after dinner the governor forced the company to push the bottle
about with alacrity and to excess. He informed us that he was the
Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky, who had retired amidst these wilds, disgusted
with the court of Petersburgh. I was rejoiced to meet him; I recollected
my old friend, whom I had known at the court of Russia, when I rejected
the hand of the Empress. The Nareskin, with all his knights-companions,
drank to an astonishing degree, and we all set off upon hobby horses
in full cry out of the castle. Never was there seen such a cavalcade
before. In front galloped a hundred knights belonging to the castle,
with hunting horns and a pack of excellent dogs; and then came the
Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky, Gog and Magog, Hilaro Frosticos, and your
humble servant, hallooing and shouting like so many demoniacs, and
spurring our hobby horses at an infernal rate until we arrived in the
kingdom of Loggerheads. The kingdom of Loggerheads was wilder than any
part of Siberia, and the Nareskin had here built a romantic summer-house
in a Gothic taste, to which he would frequently retire with his company
after dinner. The Nareskin had a dozen bears of enormous stature that
danced for our amusement, and their chiefs performed the _minuet de la
cour_ to admiration. And here the most noble Hilaro Frosticos thought
proper to ask the Nareskin some intelligence about Wauwau, in quest of
whom we had travelled over such a tract of country, and encountered so
many dangerous adventures, and also invited the Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky
to attend us with all his bears in the expedition. The Nareskin appeared
astonished at the idea; he looked with infinite hauteur and ferocity on
Hilaro, and affecting a violent passion asked him, "Did he imagine
that the Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky could condescend to take notice of
a Wauwau, let her fly what way she would! Or did he think a chief
possessing such blood in his veins could engage in such a foreign
pursuit? By the blood and by the ashes of my great grandmother, I would
cut off your head!"
Hilaro Frosticos resented this oration, and in short a general riot
commenced. The bears, together with the hundred knights, took the
part of the Nareskin, and Gog and Magog, Don Quixote, the Sphinx, Lord
Whittington, the bulls, the crickets, the judges, the matrons, and
Hilaro Frosticos, made noble warfare against them.
I drew my sword, and challenged the Nareskin to single combat. He
frowned, while his eyes sparkled fire and indignation, and bracing a
buckler on his left arm, he advanced against me. I made a blow at him
with all my force, which he received upon his buckler, and my sword
broke short.
Ungenerous Nareskin; seeing me disarmed, he still pushed forward,
dealing his blows upon me with the utmost violence, which I parried with
my shield and the hilt of my broken sword, and fought like a game-cock.
An enormous bear at the same time attacked me, but I ran my hand still
retaining the hilt of my broken sword down his throat, and tore up his
tongue by the roots. I then seized his carcase by the hind-legs, and
whirling it over my head, gave the Nareskin such a blow with his own
bear as evidently stunned him. I repeated my blows, knocking the bear's
head against the Nareskin's head, until, by one happy blow, I got his
head into the bear's jaws, and the creature being still somewhat alive
and convulsive, the teeth closed upon him like nutcrackers. I threw the
bear from me, but the Nareskin remained sprawling, unable to extricate
his head from the bear's jaws, imploring for mercy. I gave the wretch
his life: a lion preys not upon carcases.
At the same time my troop had effectually routed the bears and the rest
of their adversaries. I was merciful, and ordered quarter to be given.
At that moment I perceived Wauwau flying at a great height through the
heavens, and we instantly set out in pursuit of her, and never stopped
until we arrived at Kamschatka; thence we passed to Otaheite. I met my
old acquaintance Omai, who had been in England with the great navigator,
Cook, and I was glad to find he had established Sunday schools over
all the islands. I talked to him of Europe, and his former voyage to
England. "Ah!" said he, most emphatically, "the English, the cruel
English, to murder me with goodness, and refine upon my torture--took me
to Europe, and showed me the court of England, the delicacy of exquisite
life; they showed me gods, and showed me heaven, as if on purpose to
make me feel the loss of them."
From these islands we set out, attended by a fleet of canoes with
fighting-stages and the chiefest warriors of the islands, commanded by
Omai. Thus the chariot of Queen Mab, my team of bulls and the crickets,
the ark, the Sphinx, and the balloons, with Hilaro Frosticos, Gog and
Magog, Lord Whittington, and the Lord Mayor's show, Don Quixote, &c.,
with my fleet of canoes, altogether cut a very formidable appearance on
our arrival at the Isthmus of Darien. Sensible of what general benefit
it would be to mankind, I immediately formed a plan of cutting a canal
across the isthmus from sea to sea.
For this purpose I drove my chariot with the greatest impetuosity
repeatedly from shore to shore, in the same track, tearing up the rocks
and earth thereby, and forming a tolerable bed for the water. Gog and
Magog next advanced at the head of a million of people from the realms
of North and South America, and from Europe, and with infinite labour
cleared away the earth, &c., that I had ploughed up with my chariot.
I then again drove my chariot, making the canal wider and deeper, and
ordered Gog and Magog to repeat their labour as before. The canal being
a quarter of a mile broad, and three hundred yards in depth, I thought
it sufficient, and immediately let in the waters of the sea. I did
imagine, that from the rotatory motion of the earth on its axis from
west to east the sea would be higher on the eastern than the western
coast, and that on the uniting of the two seas there would be a strong
current from the east, and it happened just as I expected. The sea came
in with tremendous magnificence, and enlarged the bounds of the canal,
so as to make a passage of some miles broad from ocean to ocean, and
make an island of South America. Several sail of trading vessels and
men-of-war sailed through this new channel to the South Seas, China,
&c., and saluted me with all their cannon as they passed.
I looked through my telescope at the moon, and perceived the
philosophers there in great commotion. They could plainly discern the
alteration on the surface of our globe, and thought themselves somehow
interested in the enterprise of their fellow-mortals in a neighbouring
planet. They seemed to think it admirable that such little beings as
we men should attempt so magnificent a performance, that would be
observable even in a separate world.
Thus having wedded the Atlantic Ocean to the South Sea, I returned to
England, and found Wauwau precisely in the very spot whence she had set
out, after having led us a chase all round the world.