MISUNDERSTOOD.--You were in the wrong. The custom of throwing
chicken-bones over the right shoulder is practised only in the mess of
the 13th Bavarian Landsturm Regiment. Still, considering that you had
only joined that day, we think your colonel acted hastily.
AS YOU WERE (and several other Correspondents).--The executive order
for the new combined movement of "About turn and left incline" is
given when the joint of the left big toe is opposite the right instep
(in Rifle regiments substitute right for left and left for right).
SUBALTERN.--Your company commander is without authority for reproving
you for shaving off your moustache. All the same, judging by the
photograph you enclose, we think you would be wise to keep as much of
your face covered as possible.
FIELD-MARSHAL'S BATON.--No, you are mistaken in supposing that a
private soldier under close arrest may spend two hours daily in the
regimental canteen. The only stimulant allowed him is one glass (2
oz., Mark IV.) of port daily with the orderly officer when the latter
inspects the guardroom.
SUFFERER.--(1) No, White Star gas is never employed by army dentists.
(2) No, you need not take your respirator with you. You hire the
anæsthetist's at a small charge.
PINK RATS.--You assume that if you were appointed a mopper-up you
would _ex-officio_ be put in charge of the rum-ration. This is not the
case. The function of moppers-up is to collect souvenirs for the new
Great War Museum, to be housed in one of the four remaining London
hotels.
OBSERVER.--German minnenwerfer are not dangerous if their flight is
carefully watched, as they swerve to the left, and their landing-place
can thus be fairly accurately judged. Two varieties, however--the
windupwerfer and the hoppitwerfer--swerve to the right. The
googliwerfer swerves both ways.
SOCIABLE.--The correct method of dealing with snipers in a house is to
ring the front-door bell with the thumb and forefinger of the right
hand, at the same time smartly inserting a charge of cordite into the
letter-box with the left. Indents for postmen's uniforms for this
purpose should be rendered to D.A.D.O.S. in triplicate.
STATISTICIAN.--The world's record is held by the adjutant of the
pioneer battalion of the 371st Silesian Foot Regiment. There is
unimpeachable evidence to prove that he was heard drinking gravy soup
from a distance of 477 metres. The night was calm.
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