GENERAL ALLENBY having announced that all the holy places in Jerusalem
will be protected, the KAISER is about to issue a manifesto to his
Turkish subjects, pointing out that so much time has elapsed since he
was there in 1898 that the place can no longer be considered as holy
as it was.
***
It is now stated that the leader of the Sinn Feiners is an American
citizen. It is hardly likely, however, in view of the friendly
relations prevailing between ourselves and the United States, that
the point will be pressed.
***
Another lengthy pamphlet on the subject of cheese has been issued by
the FOOD-CONTROLLER. The Department now claims that there is no excuse
for even the simplest grocer failing to recognise a cheese when he
sees it.
***
A painful story comes from the North of England. It appears that a man
left his home saying that he would obtain a pound of Devonshire butter
or die. He was only thirty-four years of age.
***
A leaflet containing President WILSON'S recent speech to Congress
has been passed by the CENSOR, who, however, does not wish it to be
understood that he could not have improved on it if he had cared to.
***
A grave state of affairs is reported by a New York paper. It appears
that America will shortly ask Mexico to make revolutions a criminal
offence. They'll be stopping baseball next.
***
A question put by Mr. FIELD in the House of Commons suggested that
M.P.s should travel on railways free of charge. The chief objection
seems to be that they would be sure to want return tickets.
***
A domestic servant points out in a contemporary that she has worked
from seven in the morning until ten o'clock at night for six months
without a break. Another domestic who holds the smash-as-smash-can
record wonders where this poor girl learnt her business.
***
Discussing the London taxi strike a contemporary remarks that both
sides ought to meet. Failing that, we think that at least one side
might meet.
***
Writing to _The Evening News_ a Maidstone gentleman protested against
the action of the authorities who covered up the Tank in Trafalgar
Square on Sundays. On the first Sunday it seems that somebody tripped
over it.
***
There appears to be an epidemic of trouble in the animal world.
An elephant at the Zoo has just died, while only a few days ago
a travelling crane collapsed at Glasgow.
***
Burglars who looted an Oxford Street shop last week obtained admission
by making a hole through a brick wall. It is supposed the shop door
was closed.
***
Surely it is only hindering matters for people to keep writing to the
Press on the matter of the appointment of a Minister of Health. It
seems to be overlooked that so far _The Daily Mail_ has not indicated
who should be appointed to that position.
***
The Government having reaffirmed their statement that they have "no
further fear of submarines," it is felt to be high time that someone
in authority should break it to the U-boats that they might as well
give it up and go home.
***
The gentleman who wrote to the Press offering to sell eggs at _4s.
7d._ a dozen has since explained that he merely wanted to show how
much higher the market price is than his would have been if he had
really had any eggs to sell.
***
We understand that it has not yet been decided in Berlin what the
Sultan of TURKEY thinks of the capture of Jerusalem.
***
Four letters of QUEEN ELIZABETH have just been sold by auction.
Strangely enough, nothing is said in them about her having no quarrel
with the Spanish people, but only with their Monarch.
***
"Is the potato the saviour of the Fatherland?" asks the _Deutsche
Tageszeitung_. Another slight to the ALL-HIGHEST.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Both together_. "NOW, MY MAN, WHY DON'T YOU SALUTE
WHEN YOU PASS AN OFFICER?"]
* * * * *