ANXIETY
After he had left me, and I was quite certain that I should not see
him again that night, I went straight to Jane Mullins' room. Jane was
generally up the last in the house, and I had not the slightest doubt
I should still find her in her dinner dress, and ready for
conversation. I had bidden mother good night long ago, and hoped she
was sound asleep, but I did not mind disturbing Jane. I opened the
door now and went in. As I expected, Jane was up; she was seated by
the fire, she was looking into its depths, and did not turn round at
once when I entered. The first thing she did when she became aware of
the fact that there was some one else in the room besides herself, was
to sigh somewhat deeply. Then she said in a low voice--
"What if it all turns out a mistake?" and then she jumped to her feet
and confronted me. "Yes, dear, yes," she said. "Oh, my dear Westenra,
why aren't you in bed? It is very bad indeed for young people to be up
so late. You will get quite worn and wrinkled. Let me tell you, my
love, that we can never get youth back again, and we ought to prize it
while we have it. How old are you, Westenra, my love?"
"I shall be twenty-two my next birthday," was my answer.
"Ah, yes, yes, quite young, in the beautiful prime of youth.
Nevertheless, the bloom can be rubbed off, and then--well, it never
comes back, dear. But go to bed, Westenra, don't stay up bothering
your head. I see by that frown between your brows that you are going
to say something which I would rather not listen to. Don't tell me
to-night, Westenra, love."
"I must tell you," I answered. "I have come to see you for the
purpose. You are old enough, Jane, to bear the little disagreeable
things I tell you now and then. You are our mainstay, our prop, in
this establishment. I cannot go on without confiding in you, and you
must listen to me."
"Well, child, sit down, here is a comfortable chair." Jane got up and
offered me her own chair. I did not take it.
"What nonsense," I said, "sit down again. Here, this little hassock at
your feet will suit me far better."
I seated myself as I spoke, and laid my hand across Jane's knee.
"Now, that is cosy," I said. She touched my arm as though she loved to
touch it, and then she laid her firm, weather-beaten hand on my
shoulder, and then, as if impelled by an unwonted impulse, she bent
forward and kissed me on my cheek.
"You are a very nice girl. Since I knew you life has been far
pleasanter to me," said Jane Mullins. "I thank you for giving me a bit
of love. Whatever happens I want you to remember that."
"I do," I answered; "you have very little idea how much I care for
you, Jane, and how immensely I respect you. There are, I think, very
few women who would have acted as you have done. I am fully convinced
there is a mystery in all your actions which has not yet been
explained to me, but I have not come here to-night to talk about that.
I have come here to ask you one or two questions, and to tell you one
or two things, and my first question is this--Why were you sighing
when I came in, and why did you murmur to yourself, 'What if it all
turns out a mistake?' Will you explain those words, Jane."
"No," replied Jane stoutly, "for you were eavesdropping when you heard
them, and there is no reason why I should explain what you had no
right to listen to."
"Thank you; you have answered me very sensibly, and I won't say
another word on the subject of your sigh and your remarkable speech.
But now to turn to the matter which has brought me to your room so
late in the evening."
"Well, dear, it is past midnight, and you know how early I am up. It
is a little unreasonable of you; what has brought you, darling?"
"Mr. Fanning has brought me."
"Oh dear, oh dear, that tiresome man again," said Miss Mullins.
"You don't like him yourself, do you, Jane?"
"It is a great pity he is not different," said Jane, "for he is
extremely well off."
"O Jane! pray don't talk nonsense. Do you suppose that a person with
the name of Fanning could have any interest whatever for me? Now,
please, get that silly idea out of your head once for all."
"Oh, as far as any use that there is in it, I have long ago got it out
of my head," replied Jane; "but the thing to be considered is this,
that he has not got it out of his head--nor has his mother--and that
between them they can make things intensely disagreeable. Now, if Mr.
Randolph was going to stay here, I should not have an anxious moment."
"What do you mean?" I cried; "is Mr. Randolph going away?" A deep
depression seemed suddenly to come over me; I could not quite account
for it.
"He is, dear; and it is because he must be absent for two or three
months that I am really anxious. He will come back again; but sudden
and important news obliges him to go to Australia. He is going in a
fortnight, and it is that that frets him. You will be left to the
tender mercies of Mr. Fanning and Mrs. Fanning, and you have got so
much spirit you are sure to offend them both mortally, and then they
will leave, and--oh dear, I do think that things are dark. My dear
Westenra, I often wonder if we shall pull through after all."
"That is what I want to speak to you about," I answered. "Mr. Fanning
came into the drawing-room just now, and was very rude and very unlike
a gentleman. I was alone there, and he said he had something to say to
me in private, and, of course, I refused to listen. He wanted to
insist on my granting him an interview, and said that he could compel
me to listen if he chose. Think of any gentleman speaking like that!"
"They don't mind what they say, nor what they do, when they're in
love," muttered Jane.
"I won't allow you to say that," I answered, springing to my feet;
"the man is intolerable. Jane, he must go; there is no help for it."
"He must stay, dear, and I cannot disclose all my reasons now."
I stood clasping and unclasping my hands, and staring at Jane.
"You knew beforehand, did you not, Westenra, that there would be
disagreeables connected with this scheme?"
"Of course I knew it; but I never did think that the disagreeables
would resolve themselves into Mr. Fanning."
"We never know beforehand where the shoe is going to pinch," remarked
Jane in a sententious voice.
"Well, I have something else to say," I continued. "Mr. Fanning was
not only very unpleasant to me, but he told me something which I can
scarcely believe. He said that our boarding-house, which seemed to be
going so well, was not going well at all. He said there was only one
word to spell how it was going, and that word was RUIN. O Jane! it
can't be true?"
"Let us hope not," said Jane, but she turned very white. "I will tell
you one thing, Westenra," she continued. "If you don't want to have
utter ruin you must go on behaving as nicely as ever you can, bearing
with every one, being gentle and considerate, and trying to make every
one happy. And in especial, you must bear with Mr. Fanning and with
Mrs. Fanning; you must be particularly civil to them both, for if they
go others will go; and whatever happens, Westenra, remember your
mother is not to be worried. I know what I am saying, your mother is
not to be worried. Your mother must never guess that things are not as
right as they should be. When Mr. Randolph comes back everything will
be right, but during his absence we will have to go through rather a
tight place; and Albert Fanning is the sort of person who might take
advantage of us, and what you must do, my dear girl, is to be
guileful."
"Guileful!" I cried; "never."
"But you must, my love, you must be guileful and wary; you need not
give him a single straw to go upon, but at the same time you must be
civil. There now, that is all I can tell you for the present. Go to
bed, child, for I have to do the daily accounts, and must be up at six
in the morning. It's that new cook, she frets me more than I can say,
she don't do things proper; and I noticed that Mrs. Fanning sniffed at
her soup instead of eating it this evening, and the turbot was not as
fresh as it ought to be. Go to bed, Westenra, go to bed."
I left the room. There was no use in staying any longer with Jane. She
certainly had not reassured me. She seemed puzzled and anxious about
the establishment; and why were not things going well? And what had
Mr. Fanning to do with it; and why, why was Mr. Randolph going away?
The next morning after breakfast I went into the drawing-room for my
usual task of dusting and arranging the furniture and refilling the
vases with fresh flowers, when Mr. Randolph suddenly came in.
"It will be best for you and Mrs. Wickham to meet me at the Criterion
to-night," he said. "As you won't give me the opportunity of offering
you dinner at the Cecil, that seems the next best thing to do. I have
got a box in a good part of the house, so we need not be there more
than a few minutes before it commences. I shall meet you at the
entrance and conduct you to your seats."
His manner showed some excitement, quite out of keeping with his
ordinary demeanour, and I noticed that he scarcely glanced at me. His
face was somewhat worn, too, in expression, and although he generally
had himself in complete control, he now looked nearly as anxious and
worried as Jane herself. He scarcely waited for my compliance with the
arrangement he had proposed, but glancing at the door, spoke
abruptly--
"Something unexpected and very grievous has occurred, and I am obliged
to leave England by the _Smyrna_, which sails on Saturday week."
"Miss Mullins told me last night that you were going away," I replied.
I also now avoided looking at him. I was playing with some large
sprays of mimosa which had been sent in from the market. To my dying
day I shall never forget how that mimosa seemed to slip about, and
would not get into the best position in the vase in which I was
placing it.
"Effective," he said, as he watched my movements, "but it withers
quickly; it wants its native air."
"I suppose so," I answered.
"Have you ever seen it growing?"
"No; I have never been to the South."
"You have a good deal to see. I hope some day----" He broke off.
"Where are you going when you do go away?" I asked.
"To Sydney first, perhaps to Melbourne."
"It will be nice for you to leave England during our unpleasant winter
weather."
"There is nothing nice about my visit," he said; "I dislike going more
than I have any words to express. In particular, I am sorry to leave
your mother; but before I go I want"--he dropped his voice and came a
step nearer.
"What?" I asked.
"I am anxious that your mother should see a doctor--a specialist, I
mean. I am not satisfied with her condition."
"But mother is really quite well," I said impulsively. "You have not
known her long, Mr. Randolph; she never was really strong. She is
quite as well as she ever was."
"A specialist could assure us on that point, could he not?" was his
reply. "I want Dr. Reade to give me a diagnosis of her case."
"Dr. Reade," I cried.
"Yes; I should like her to see him between now and the day when I must
leave England. I cannot possibly be back under from four to five
months, and if my mind can be relieved of a very pressing anxiety, you
would not deny me the satisfaction, would you?"
"But why should your mind be anxious?" I asked boldly. I looked full
into his face as I spoke, and then I met a look which caused me to
turn faint, and yet to feel happy, as I had never felt happy before.
I lowered my eyes and looked out of the window. He gave a quick sigh,
and then said suddenly--
"How like your father you are."
"My father? But you never knew him."
"I never knew him, but I have often looked at his picture. Can you
tell me how he won his V.C.?"
"Saving a comrade, bringing one of his brother officers out of the
thick of the fight; he received his own fatal wound in doing so. He
did not survive the action two months."
"A fine fellow! A splendid action," said Mr. Randolph, enthusiasm in
his voice. "You will think over what I have said, and I will not keep
you now. We shall meet at the Criterion this evening. Good-bye for the
present."