INCORRECT WORDS.
Every one who sees much of the world must observe with pain and surprise
various unaccountable instances of improper and incorrect words that
sometimes disfigure the phraseology of females who have gone through a
course of fashionable education, and mixed in what is really genteel
society. These instances, it is true, are becoming every day more rare;
but we regret that they should exist at all. Early impressions are hard
to eradicate. Bad habits of speaking are formed in childhood: sometimes
from the society of illiterate parents, but more frequently from that of
nurses and servants; and if not corrected or shaken off in due time,
will cling like burrs to the diction of women who are really ladies in
every thing else. Such women will say "that there," and "this
here"--"them girls"--"them boys"--"I don't want no more"--"I didn't hear
nothing about it"--"I didn't see nobody there"--"I won't do so no more."
And other similar violations of grammar; and grammar is never more
palpably outraged than when two negatives are used for an affirmative.
It is surely shorter and easier to say, "I want no more"--"I heard
nothing about it"--"I saw nobody there"--"I will do so no more."
Another grammatical error, less glaring, but equally incorrect, is the
too common practice of converting a certainty into an uncertainty by
saying, "I have no doubt but he was there." As if his being there was
your only doubt. You should say, "I have no doubt of his being there."
"I have no doubt but that he wrote it," seems to signify that you do
doubt his writing it, and that you are nearly sure he did not. The
proper phrase is, "I have no doubt of his writing it." "I do not doubt
but that she knew it long ago," implies that you do doubt her having
known it. It should be, "I do not doubt her knowing it long ago." Leave
out _but_, when you talk of doubting.
No word is proper that does not express the true meaning. For instance,
it is not right to call a township a town. A township is a section of
land that may consist entirely of forests and farms, and may not
comprise even a small village or hamlet. A town resembles a city in
being closely built up with streets of adjoining houses. Men cannot go
fishing or hunting in a _town_, though they may in a township. We are
surprised to find this misapplication of the word among some of the most
distinguished of the New-England _literati_. Perhaps it explains
Jonathan's perplexity in one of the old Yankee Doodle songs:
"He said he couldn't see the town,
There were so many houses."
We hope it is not necessary to caution our readers against the most
provincial of Yankee provincialisms, such as, "I hadn't ought," or "I
shouldn't ought"--or "It warn't," instead of "It was not"--or the
exclamations, "Do tell!" or "I want to know," ejaculated as a token of
surprise the moment after you have told, and made known. The common
English habit, or rather a habit of the common English, of using
continually the words "you know," and "you know," is very tiresome,
particularly when they are talking of something that you cannot possibly
be acquainted with. Check them by saying, "No, I do not know." They also
make great use of the word "monstrous"--ugly as that word is. Do not
imitate them in saying that you are "monstrous glad," or "monstrous
sorry," or "monstrous tired," or that a young lady is "monstrous
pretty." We have heard even "monstrous little."
We advise our New-England friends to eschew, both in speaking and
writing, all Yankee phrases that do not convey the exact meaning of the
words. For instance, to "_turn out_ the tea," instead of to "_pour_ it
out." There can be no turn given, in this process, to the spout or
handle of the tea-pot. On the contrary, it cannot pour well unless it is
held straight. To "cut the eggs," instead of to beat them. The motion of
beating eggs does not cut them. "Braiding eggs," is still worse. But we
believe that this braiding is not the same as cutting. What is it?
Two young officers were travelling in the far West when they stopped to
take supper at a small road-side tavern, kept by a very rough Yankee
woman. The landlady, in a calico sun-bonnet, and bare feet, stood at
the head of the table to pour out. She enquired of her guests, "if they
chose long sweetening, or short sweetening in their coffee." The first
officer, supposing that "long sweetening" meant a large portion of that
article, chose it accordingly. What was his dismay when he saw their
hostess dip her finger deep down into an earthen jar of honey that stood
near her, and then stir it (the finger) round in the coffee. His
companion, seeing this, preferred "short sweetening." Upon which the
woman picked up a large lump of maple sugar that lay in a brown paper on
the floor beside her, and biting off a piece, put it into his cup. Both
the gentlemen dispensed with coffee that evening. This anecdote we heard
from the sister of one of those officers.
"Emptyings" is not a good name for yeast. "Up chamber, up garret, down
cellar," are all wrong. Why not say, "up in the chamber, up in the
garret, down in the kitchen, down in the cellar" &c.? Why should a
mirthful fit of laughter be called "a gale"? "Last evening we were all
in such a gale!"
Snow and ice are not the same. Therefore a snowball should not be called
an ice-ball, which latter might be a very dangerous missile.
Pincushions are pincushions, and not pin-balls, unless they are of a
globular shape. If in the form of hearts, diamonds, &c., they are not
balls.
When you are greatly fatigued, say so--and not that you are "almost beat
out." When the Yankees are "beat out," the English are quite "knocked
up." The English are "starved with cold"--Americans only starve with
hunger. They may perish with cold; but unless hunger is added, they will
not starve.
It is wrong to say that certain articles of food are healthy or
unhealthy. Wholesome and unwholesome are the right words. A pig may be
healthy or unhealthy while alive; but after he is killed and becomes
pork, he can enjoy no health, and suffer no sickness.
If you have been accustomed to pronounce the word "does" as "doos," get
rid of the custom as soon as you can. Also, give up saying "pint" for
"point," "jint" for "joint," "anint" for "anoint," &c. Above all, cease
saying "featur, creatur, natur, and raptur."
In New England it is not uncommon to hear the word "ugly" applied to a
bad temper. We have heard, "He will never do for president, because he
is so ugly." On our observing that we had always considered the
gentleman in question, as rather a handsome man, it was explained that
he was considered ugly in disposition.
A British traveller, walking one day in a suburb of Boston, saw a woman
out on a door-step whipping a screaming child. "Good woman," said the
stranger, "why do you whip that boy so severely?" She answered, "I
_will_ whip him, because he is so ugly." The Englishman walked on; but
put down in his journal that "American mothers are so cruel as to beat
their children, merely because they are not handsome."
No genteel Bostonian should call Faneuil Hall, "Old Funnel," or talk of
the "Quinsey market," instead of Quincy, or speak of "Bacon street," or
"Bacon Hill." That place was so called from a beacon, or signal-pole
with a light at the top, and never was particularly celebrated for the
pickling and smoking of pork.
The word "slump," or "slumped," has too coarse a sound to be used by a
lady.
When you have exchanged one article for another, say so, and not that
you have "traded it."
Do not say, "I should admire to read that book," "I should admire to
hear that song," "I should admire to see the president." Substitute, "I
should like to read that book," "I should like to hear that song," "I
should like to see the president."
Using the word "love" instead of "like" is not peculiar to the ladies of
any section of the Union. But they may assure themselves it is wrong to
talk of _loving_ any thing that is eatable. They may _like_ terrapins,
oysters, chicken-salad, or ice-cream; but they need not _love_ terrapins
or oysters, or _love_ chicken-salad.
We remember, in the farce of Modern Antiques, laughing at an awkward
servant-girl bringing in a dish of salad to a supper-table, before the
company had assembled, and, after taking a large bite, turning her
foolish face toward the audience, and saying, "I loves beet-root."
Even if you are a provincial New-Yorker, give up calling the door-step
or porch by the ancient Dutch name of "stoop," (stoep,) and do not talk
of going out on the stoop, or sitting in the stoop. When a load of wood
or coal is put down at your door, say not that it is "dumped." Never
speak of visiting friends that "live to Brooklyn," or "live to Newark."
They live _at_ those places, not _to_ them. The word "muss" sounds
badly, when a young lady says, "her scarf is mussed," or her collar is
"mussed"--or that her bureau drawers are all in a muss. The English
synonyme, "mess," has _rather_ a better sound. Be it also remembered
that a stool is not a bench. A bench holds several people, a stool but
one.
When you mean that an article of dress (a bonnet or a cap) is neat and
pretty, do not say that it is cunning. An inanimate object cannot be
cunning. To be cunning requires some mind. We are sorry to say that we
have heard females who, when they intend to be witty, talk of taking a
snooze, (which means a nap,) and speak of a comic anecdote as being
"rich," and of a man in faded clothes as looking "seedy." We have heard
Philadelphia ladies speak of a "great big" house, or a "great big" ship;
and there are still some who _expect_ what has already come to pass--as,
"I expect it rained somewhere last night"--"I expect she arrived
yesterday"--"I expect he went to Baltimore." In all these cases the
proper term is "I suppose," and not "I expect."
The word "mayhap" (instead of perhaps) is a positive vulgarism. It is of
English origin, but is only used in England by very low people--and by
English writers, never.
We have little tolerance for young ladies, who, having in reality
neither wit nor humour, set up for both, and having nothing of the
right stock to go upon, substitute coarseness and impertinence, (not to
say impudence,) and try to excite laughter, and attract the attention of
gentlemen, by talking slang. Where do they get it? How do they pick it
up? From low newspapers, or from vulgar books? Surely not from low
companions?
We have heard one of these ladies, when her collar chanced to be pinned
awry, say that it was put on drunk--also that her bonnet was drunk,
meaning crooked on her head. When disconcerted, she was "floored." When
submitting to do a thing unwillingly, "she was brought to the scratch."
Sometimes "she did things on the sly." She talked of a certain great
vocalist "singing like a beast." She believed it very smart and piquant
to use these vile expressions. It is true, when at parties, she always
had half a dozen gentlemen about her; their curiosity being excited as
to what she would say next. And yet she was a woman of many good
qualities; and one who boasted of having always "lived in society."
We think that gentlemen lose a particle of their respect for young
ladies who allow their names to be abbreviated into such cognomens as
Kate, Madge, Bess, Nell, &c. Surely it is more lady-like to be called
Catharine, Margaret, Eliza, or Ellen. We have heard the beautiful name
Virginia degraded into Jinny; and Harriet called Hatty, or even Hadge.
A very silly practice has been introduced of writing Sally,
Sallie--Fanny, Fannie--Mary, Marie--Abby, Abbie, &c. What would our
grand-parents have thought of Pollie, Mollie, Peggie, Kittie, Nancie?
Suppose young men were to adopt it, and sign themselves, Sammie, Billie,
Dickie, Tommie, &c.!
By-the-bye, unless he is a relation, let no young lady address a
gentleman by his Christian name. It is a familiarity which he will not
like.