SHOPPING.
When you go out shopping, it is well to take with you some _written_
cards, inscribed with your residence as well as your name. For this
purpose to use engraved visiting-cards is an unnecessary expense. That
there may be no mistake, let your shopping-cards contain not only your
street and number, but the side of the way, and between what streets
your house is situated. This minuteness is particularly useful in
Philadelphia, where the plan and aspect of the streets is so similar.
Much inconvenience, disappointment, and delay have resulted from parcels
being left at wrong places. If you are staying at a hotel, give also the
number of your chamber, otherwise the package may be carried in mistake
to the apartment of some other lady; the servants always knowing the
number of the rooms, but not always remembering the names of the
occupants; usually speaking of the ladies and gentlemen as No. 25, No.
42, &c.
There is another advantage in having cards with you when you go out
shopping: if you should chance to forget your reticule, or
handkerchief, and leave it on the counter, the shopkeeper will know
exactly by the card where to send it, or for whom to keep it till called
for.
If you intend to purchase none but small articles, take but little money
in your purse, so that if you chance to lose it, the loss may not be
great.[7] When you buy articles of any consequence, they will always be
sent home at your request--and (unless you keep a standing account at
that store) desire the bill to be sent along; and sent at an hour when
you will certainly be at hand to pay it. Be careful to take receipts for
the payment; and keep the receipts on a file or wire. We have known
instances when, from the clerk or storekeeper neglecting or delaying to
cross out an account as soon as paid, the same bill was inadvertently
sent twice over; and then by having the receipt to show, the necessity
of _paying it twice over_ was obviated. Look carefully at every item of
the bill, and see that all is correct. Sometimes (though these
oversights are of rare occurrence) the same article may accidentally be
set down twice in the same bill. But this is easily rectified by taking
the bill to the storekeeper, and showing it to him.
In subscribing for a magazine or newspaper, and paying in advance, (as
you always should,) be especially careful of the receipts given to you
at paying. So many persons are in the habit of allowing these accounts
to run on for years, that if you neglect preserving your receipts, and
cannot produce them afterward, you may be unintentionally classed among
the delinquents, and have no means of proving satisfactorily that you
have really paid.
Many ladies keep a day-book, in which they set down, regularly, all the
money they have expended on that day; adding up the whole every week. An
excellent plan, and of great importance to every one who is mistress of
a family.
In making purchases for other persons, have bills made out; and send the
bills (receipted) with the articles purchased, as an evidence of the
exact price of the things, and that they were paid for punctually. The
friends that have commissioned you to buy them, should _immediately_
repay you. Much inconvenience may be felt by a lady whose command of
money is small, when a friend living in a distant place, and probably in
opulent circumstances, neglects or postpones the payment of these sums.
She should, at the beginning, send money amply sufficient to make these
purchases. It is enough that you take the trouble of going to the
stores, selecting the desired articles, and having them packed and sent
off. She has no right to put you to the slightest pecuniary
inconvenience. There have been instances, where articles thus bought for
a lady in a far-off place, have not been paid for by that lady till
after the lapse of many months. For such remissness there is no excuse.
To go shopping for a friend is rarely a pleasant business. Besides its
encroaching on your time, there is always a danger of the purchases
proving unsatisfactory, or not suiting the taste of her for whom they
are intended. Also, circumstances may prevent the articles reaching her
as soon as expected. Whenever practicable, it is best to send all such
packages by the Transportation Line--that charge to be paid by the
owner, on delivery.
It is not well to trouble a gentleman with the care of a parcel, unless
it is quite small, and he has to pass the door of the house at which it
is to be delivered; or unless his residence is in the immediate
neighbourhood.
When visiting the shops, if you do not intend to buy at that time, but
are merely looking round to see varieties of articles before you
determine on what to purchase, candidly say so to the persons standing
at the counter. They will (particularly if they know you) be perfectly
willing to show you such things as you desire to see, in the hope that
you may return to their store and buy of them afterward. At the same
time, avoid giving unnecessary trouble; and do not, from mere curiosity,
desire such things to be brought to you as you have no intention of
buying at all.
The practice that is called cheapening, or beating down the price, is
now nearly obsolete. Most tradesmen have a fixed price for every thing,
and will not abate.
It is but rarely that you will meet with articles of really good quality
on very low terms, unless near the close of the season, when the
storekeepers, anxious to get rid of their old stock, generally put down
the prices of the goods that are left on hand; knowing that by the
return of next season, these will be superseded by things of a newer
fashion. Economical ladies, who are not resolutely determined on wearing
none but articles of the very latest fashion, may thus supply themselves
with excellent silks, lawns, &c. in August and September, at prices far
below what they would have given in May or June. And then they can lay
them by till next summer. In the same way they can purchase merinoes,
mousselines de laine, &c. in January, February, and March, much lower
than in November and December. It is best always to buy rather too much
than too little; and to have a piece left, rather than to get a scanty
pattern, such as will barely hold out, leaving nothing for repairs or
alterations. There is much advantage in getting an extra yard and a
half, or two yards, and keeping it back for new sleeves. Unless you are
small and slender, it is not well to buy a dress embroidered with a
border pattern. They are always scanty in width, and have that look when
made up. The skirts are never quite wide enough. A tall woman requires
as full a skirt as a fat one; else her height will make her look lanky
and narrow.
When bespeaking an article to be made purposely for you, ascertain from
the maker what will be the cost, and then request him to write down the
terms on a card, or a slip of paper, or on a leaf of your tablet. If he
says he cannot tell how much it will be, or that he knows not what price
to fix on it, or that he cannot decide till after it is finished, it
will be safest and wisest for you to decline engaging it, till he _has_
calculated the amount, or something very near it. Persist in this
condition being a _sine qua non_. It is his place to know every thing
connected with his business, and to be able to judge of his outlay, and
his profits. If you do not insist on a satisfactory answer when making
the bargain, you may in the end find yourself greatly overcharged, (as
we know by experience;) the price in the bill, after the article is
made, and sent home, proving infinitely higher than you would have been
willing to give if previously aware of it. In dealing with foreigners
whose language is not yours, take especial care that there is a correct
understanding on both sides.
When on a visit to a city with which you are not familiar, enquire where
the best shops are to be found, and make memorandums of them in your
tablets. This will spare your friends the trouble of accompanying you on
your shopping expeditions. And if you have a small pocket-map of the
town, there will be no danger of losing your way. Except to ladies whose
chief delight is in seeing things connected with dress, to go shopping
with a stranger is usually very tiresome. Also, the stranger will feel
less constraint by going alone; and more at liberty to be guided by her
own taste in selecting, and to consult her pecuniary convenience in
regard to the price. It is only when you feel that you have reason for
distrusting your own judgment, as to the quality and gentility of the
articles, that it is well to be accompanied by a person of more
experience. And then you will, most probably, be unwilling to fatigue
her by going to as many shops as you would like to visit. In most cases,
it is best to go shopping without any companion, except, perhaps, a
member of your immediate family. Gentlemen consider it a very irksome
task to go on shopping expeditions, and their ill-concealed impatience
becomes equally irksome to you.
If you have given the salesman or saleswoman unusual trouble in showing
you articles which you find not to suit, make some compensation, by at
least one or two small purchases before leaving the store; for instance,
linen to lay by as a body-lining for a future dress, gloves, mits, a
neck-ribbon, cotton spools, pins, needles, tape, black sewing-silk,
&c.,--things that will always come into use.
Remember that in all American stores, the rule of "first come, first
served," is rigidly observed. Therefore, testify no impatience if a
servant-girl, making a sixpenny purchase, is served before you--which
she certainly will be, if her entrance has preceded yours.
There are still some ladies who think that one of the great arts of
shopping, is to disparage the articles shown to them, to exclaim at the
price, and to assert that at other places they can get exactly such
things infinitely lower. When shopping, (as well as under all other
circumstances,) it is best to adhere to the truth. If you really like
the article, why not gratify the salesman by saying so. If you know that
the price is in conformity to the usual rate, you need not attempt to
get it lower, for you will seldom succeed--unless, indeed, on that day
the tradesman is particularly anxious to sell, having a sum of money to
make up, and being somewhat at a loss. Perhaps then, he may abate
something; but if he does not himself propose the abatement, and if he
is largely in business, and sure of plenty of custom, there will be
little use in your urging it.
If you are a stranger in the city, (Philadelphia for instance,) do not
always be exclaiming at the prices, and declaring that you can buy the
same articles much lower and much handsomer in New York, Boston, or
Baltimore. For certain reasons, prices are different in different
places. If an article is shown to you in Philadelphia as "something
quite new," refrain from saying that it has been out of fashion these
two years in New York. This may injure its sale with bystanders,
chancing to hear you. You need only say "that it is very pretty, but you
do not want it now."
It is strange, but no less strange than true, that though the distance
between New York and Philadelphia is reduced to less than half a day's
travel, it takes a year or more, for the New York fashions to get to
Philadelphia, and many of them never arrive at all. There are certain
dress-makers and milliners in the latter city, who, if you show them any
thing quite fresh from New York, will habitually reply, "Oh! we made
that, here in Philadelphia, a year or two ago." You need not believe
them. Our American ladies derive all their ideas of costume from France;
and as New York rejoices in the most extensive and the most speedy
intercourse with that land of taste and elegance, the French fashions
always get there first. The wonder is that so long a time elapses
before they prevail in the other cities. We must say, however, that
whatever is fantastic and extreme, is generally modified and softened
down in Philadelphia. In provincial towns, and in remote new
settlements, we often see a disposition to carry to the utmost a fashion
already too showy or gaudy.
When you see on another lady a new article of dress that you admire, it
is _not_ ill-manners, (but rather the contrary,) to tell her so. But
unless you really desire to get one exactly like it for yourself, and
are sincerely asking for information, it is considered very rude to
enquire where she bought it, and what was the cost. And it is peculiarly
vulgar to preface the enquiry by the foolish words--"If it is a fair
question." The very doubt proves that you know the question to be a very
unfair one. And so it is. We have never known that expression used
except to introduce something rude and improper. Any lady who is asked
an impertinent question, would be perfectly justifiable in saying,
"Excuse me from answering"--and then immediately changing the
conversation. Yet there are ladies who are always catechising others
about their dress. You are not bound to give explicit answers to these,
or any other questions concerning your personal affairs. Much mischief
accrues in society, from some ladies being too inquisitive, and others
too communicative.
It is really a great fatigue, both of body and mind, to go shopping with
a very close economist, particularly if you know that she can well
afford a sufficiently liberal expenditure. The length of time she will
ponder over every thing before she can "make up her mind;" the
ever-besetting fear that she may possibly have to give a few cents more
in one store than in another; her long deliberation as to whether a
smaller than the usual quantity may not be "made to do;" her
predilection for bargain-seeking in streets far off, and ungenteel; the
immense trouble she gives to the persons behind the counter,--all will
induce you to forswear trying a second time the experiment of attending
on the progress of a shopper who sets out with the vain expectation of
obtaining good articles at paltry prices.
In what are called "cheap shops," you will rarely find more than two or
three things that are really cheap. If of bad quality, they are not
_cheap_, but dear. Low-priced ribbons, for instance, are generally
flimsy, tawdry, of ugly figures, and vulgar colours,--soon fading, and
soon "getting into a string." Yet there are ladies who will walk two
miles to hustle in the crowd they find squeezing toward the counter of
the last new emporium of cheap ribbons; and, while waiting their turn,
have nothing to look at around them but lots of trash, that if they
bought they would be ashamed to wear. Coarse finery is trumpery.
On the other hand, for ladies of small means, it is not indispensable to
their standing in society, that they should deal only at stores noted
for selling _higher_ than the usual price. It is a very poor boast;
particularly when they cannot afford it.
Whatever may be the caprices of fashion, a lady of good taste (and we
may add, good sense,) will not, in buying dresses, select those of
large figures, and high glaring colours. There is something peculiarly
ungenteel and ungraceful in a white ground with large red flowers and
green leaves wandering over it. Even if the fabric is brocade, it has a
look of calico. Red and green is only beautiful in real flowers. In a
lady's dress, it somehow looks unlady-like. A great variety of bright
colours is only suited to a carpet. For a dress, two are quite
sufficient. And then if one is blue, pink, scarlet, or orange, let it be
contrasted with brown, gray, olive, or some chaste and quiet tint that
will set it off. Few silks are more becoming than those in which the
figure is formed by a darker shade of the same colour as the ground.
Silks of one colour only, trim the best--variegated trimming looks
confused and ineffective. No colours are more ungenteel, or in worse
taste, than reddish lilacs, reddish purples, and reddish browns. The
original tint of aronetta, or anatto, is the contempt of ladies; but by
previously washing the article in strong, warm pot-ash water, before it
is put into the solution of aronetta, you will obtain a beautiful
bird-of-paradise colour, entirely free from all appearance of the
unpopular powder.
Buy no silk that is stiff and hard, however thick and heavy it may seem.
It will crack and split, and wear worse than a soft silk that appears
much thinner. Venture on no satin that is not of excellent quality. A
thin satin frays and ravels, and is not worth making up. For common
wear, a soft, thick India silk is generally excellent. We have never
seen a _good one_ for less than a dollar a yard. The figured or
embossed India silks are not worth buying,--wearing rough and fuzzy, and
fraying all over. For a serviceable, long-lasting home dress, there is
nothing equal to a very thick, soft, double-width India black satin,
such as is called two yards wide, and sells at two dollars a yard. But
they have become very scarce. Never use satin to cover cord. It ravels
too much. Velvet and satin should be corded with substantial silk. If
you cannot match the exact shade, let it be darker rather than lighter.
A belt-ribbon should always be darker than the dress. Cord merino with
itself. A cording of silk will not wash.
If you cannot get lace that is tolerably fine, wear none at all, rather
than have it coarse. We have seen lace called Brussels, so coarse that
it looked as if made of cotton, though in truth it was of thread. There
was no real beauty in it. Genuine Brussels lace is exquisitely fine.
Large showy ornaments, by way of jewellery, are exceedingly ungenteel.
They always tell their own story, of glass stones set in gilding, not
gold. If you cannot obtain real jewels, never attempt sham ones. It
requires no practised eye to detect them--particularly false diamonds.
Do not interfere with the shopping of other customers, (who may chance
to stand near you at the counter,) by either praising or deprecating any
of the articles they are looking at. Leave them to the exercise of their
own judgment; unless they ask your opinion. And then give it in a low
voice, and sincerely.
If you meet an acquaintance unexpectedly in a store, it is not well to
engage in a long conversation with her, and thus detain persons behind
the counter from waiting on other customers. Finish your purchase-making
first, and then you will have leisure to step aside and converse. A
store is not the place for social intercourse, and you may chance to say
something there, that bystanders should not hear. "Greetings in the
market-place" should always be short.
It is not admissible to try on kid gloves in a store. After buying a
pair, ask for the glove-stretcher, (which they keep in all good shops,
for the convenience of customers,) and then stretch the gloves upon it,
unless you have a glove-stretcher at home. This will render them easy to
put on when you take them into wear. Glove-stretchers are to be bought
at the variety stores; or ought to be. They will save many a new glove
from tearing.
In buying stockings, whether silk or cotton, you will find it cheapest
in the end, to get those of the best _English_ manufacture, particularly
those of fine quality. For winter, and to wear with boots, English
stockings of unbleached cotton are very comfortable, feeling warmer than
those that are perfectly white. It is to be lamented that all black
stockings (even of silk) are painful and injurious to the feet, the
copperas dye being poisonous.
In buying black mits, see that they are _really of silk_, otherwise they
will stain your hands, and look brown and foxy. Much cotton is now
substituted for silk; a way having been discovered of carding silk and
cotton together, before the thread is spun. Linen also, is shamefully
adulterated with cotton, and it is difficult for purchasers to discover
the cheat before the article is washed. Linen is frequently injured in
the piece by bad bleaching-salts; so that after the first washing, it
drops into holes, such as are caused by vitriol. Of this we have had sad
experience in several instances, when the linen was supposed to be of
the best quality.
Always object to a parcel being put up in newspaper--as the printing-ink
will rub off, and soil the article enclosed. If it is a little thing
that you are going to take home in your own hand, it will smear your
gloves. All shopkeepers in good business can afford to buy proper
wrapping-paper, and they generally do so. It is very cheap. See also
that they do not wrap your purchase in so small a bit of paper as to
squeeze and crush it.
If you go out with much money, (which is never advisable,) divide it
into two portions, putting part in your pocket-book or porte-monnaie,
and the remainder into your purse, so that if you lose it, or have your
pocket picked, the loss may be less. Do not carry notes in your purse,
but keep them in your pocket-book. Little gold dollars had best go into
your porte-monnaie. If kept in your purse with small change, you will be
very likely to lose them, or to mistake them for three-cent pieces if
the light is bad.
Once, on embarking in a New York steamboat, we saw a gentleman having
bought a penny paper, give the news-boy a gold eagle in mistake for a
cent. The gentleman was instantly apprized of his error by a bystander,
who had seen it; but the boy had already sprung upon the wharf and was
lost in the crowd.
We knew an instance of a lady in New York giving a hundred-dollar note
to a strawberry woman, instead of a note of one dollar. Neither note nor
woman were seen or heard of more.
In getting change see that three-cent pieces are not given to you for
five cents.
And now a few words to saleswomen. They have always, when commencing
that vocation, two important qualities to cultivate (exclusive of
cleverness in business)--civility, and patience. In these two
requisites, few of our American young women are deficient. Let them also
learn activity in moving, and quickness in recollecting where all the
articles called for are to be found, so as not to keep the customers
waiting too long, while they, the sellers, are searching the shelves and
boxes. Also, if a lady wishes to match something, (for instance, a piece
of silk,) it is foolish and useless to bring her a piece that is not
_exactly_ like; trying to persuade her to take it, and calling it "as
good a match as she is likely to get." Of course she will _not_ take a
piece that is only _tolerably_ like, but not quite the same; for unless
it matches exactly, it is no match at all. If a customer enquires for
light blue ribbon it is absurd to bring her dark blue, saying "we have
no light blue"--or to say "we have no pink, but we have scarlet--we have
no lilac, but we have purple." Or still worse, to try to persuade the
customer that deep crimson is a beautiful shade of scarlet; or worse
than all, that those very unbecoming tints, called improperly rose-white
and pearl-white, are really a pure dead white; when you know very well
that they are no such thing. Both white and black are very difficult to
match _precisely_.
Let the yard-measure be visible to the customers. In some shops the
measure is at the back of the counter, hidden behind a glass case. This
practice of measuring out of sight, sometimes gives rise to a suspicion
that the measure is not true, as it is so easy to deceive where the
brass nails that mark it are concealed from view of the customers.
Every female who keeps, or attends in a store, should discourage the
visits of her friends at business hours. If she looks off to chat with
her shop-visiters, she cannot attend properly to her customers; and
those visiters may be inconsiderate and obtrusive enough to interfere,
by putting in their word, and praising the beauty or cheapness of the
articles, by way of promoting the interest of the seller, which it
ultimately _will not_.
Show as much civility and attention to a customer plainly dressed, and
walking on foot, or getting out of an omnibus, as you would to a lady
elegantly attired, and coming in her own carriage. The former may prove
the most profitable customer. Be careful to exhibit no temper, even if
you have had the trouble of showing a variety of goods to one who goes
away without buying any thing. Another time, perhaps, she may come and
make large purchases: but if you offend her, she will assuredly never
enter the store again. Recollect that no one feels under the least
compulsion to buy what does not suit them. You would not yourself.
Habitual courtesy is a valuable qualification, and always turns to good
account.
FOOTNOTE:
[7] When circumstances render it expedient to carry much money out with
you, divide it; putting half in one purse or pocket-book, and half in
another, and put these portions into two pockets.