THE VISITED.
Having invited a friend to pass a few days or weeks at your house, and
expecting her at a certain time, send a carriage to meet her at the
rail-road depot or the steamboat wharf, and if her host or hostess goes
in it, so much the better; but do not take the children along, crowding
the vehicle, for the sake of giving them a ride. Arriving at your house,
have her baggage taken at once to the apartment prepared for her, and
when she goes up-stairs, send a servant with her to unstrap her trunks.
Then let her be left _alone_ to arrange her dress. It is to be supposed
that before her arrival, the mistress of the house has inspected the
chamber of her guest, to see that all is right--that there are _two_
pitchers full of fresh water on the stand, and three towels on the rail,
(two fine and one coarse,) with a china mug for teeth-cleaning, and a
tumbler to drink from; a slop jar of course, and a foot-bath. We
conclude that in all genteel and well-furnished houses, none of these
articles are wanting in every bedroom. On the mantel-piece a candle or
lamp, with a box of lucifer matches beside it--the candle to be replaced
by a new one every morning when the chambermaid arranges the room--or
the lamp to be trimmed daily; so that the visiter may have a light at
hand whenever she pleases, without ringing the bell and waiting till a
servant brings one up.
By-the-bye, when a guest is expected, see previously that the bells and
locks of her room are in order; and if they are not, have them repaired.
If it is cold weather, let her find a good fire in her room; and the
shutters open, that she may have sufficient light. Also an extra
blanket, folded, and laid on the foot of the bed. If summer, let the
sashes be raised, and the shutters bowed. The room should have an easy
chair with a heavy foot-cushion before it,--a low chair also, to sit on
when shoes and stockings are to be changed, and feet washed. In a spare
chamber there should be both a mattrass and a feather-bed, that your
visiters may choose which they will have uppermost. Though you and all
your own family may like to sleep hard, your guests may find it
difficult to sleep at all on a mattrass with a paillasse under it. To
many constitutions hard sleeping is not only intolerable, but pernicious
to health.
Let the centre-table be furnished with a writing-case well supplied with
all that is necessary, the inkstand filled, and with _good black ink_;
and some sheets of letter-paper and note-paper laid near it. Also, some
books, such as you think your friend will like. Let her find, at least,
one bureau vacant; _all_ the drawers empty, so that she may be able to
unpack her muslins, &c., and arrange them at once. The same with the
wardrobe or commode, so that she may have space to hang up her
dresses--the press-closet, likewise, should be for her use while she
stays.
By giving up the spare bedroom _entirely_ to your visiter you will very
much oblige her, and preclude the necessity of disturbing or
interrupting her by coming in to get something out of drawers, closets,
&c.
Every morning, after the chambermaid has done her duty, (the room of the
visiter is the first to be put in order,) the hostess should go in to
see that all is right. This done, no further inspection is necessary for
that day. There are ladies who, when a friend is staying with them, are
continually slipping into her chamber when she is out of it, to see if
the guest has done nothing amiss--such as moving a chair to suit her own
convenience, or opening a shutter to let in more light, at the possible
risk of hastening imperceptibly the fading of the carpet. There are
families who condemn themselves to a perpetual twilight, by living in
the dimness of closed shutters, to the great injury of their eyes. And
this is endured to retard awhile the fading of furniture too showy for
comfort. We have seen staircase-windows kept always shut and bolted, (so
that visiters had to grope their way in darkness,) lest the small
portion of stair-carpet just beneath the window should fade before the
rest.
It is not pleasant to be a guest in a house where you perceive that
your hostess is continually and fretfully on the watch, lest some almost
imperceptible injury should accrue to the furniture. We have known
ladies who were always uneasy when their visiters sat down on a sofa or
an ottoman, and could not forbear inviting them to change their seats
and take chairs. We suppose the fear was that the more the
damask-covered seats were used, the sooner they would wear out. Let no
visiter be so rash as to sit on a pier-divan with her back near a
mirror. The danger is imminent--not only of breaking the glass by
inadvertently leaning against it, but of certainly fretting its owner,
with uneasiness, all the time. Children should be positively interdicted
taking these precarious seats.
It is very kind and considerate to enquire of your guest if there is any
dish, or article of food that she particularly likes, so that you may
have it on the table while she stays; and also, if there is any thing
peculiarly disagreeable to her, so that you may refrain from having it
during her visit. A well-bred and sensible woman will not encroach upon
your kindness, or take an undue advantage of it, in this respect or any
other.
For such deficiencies as may be avoided or remedied, refrain from making
the foolish apology that you consider her "no stranger"--and that you
regard her "just as one of the family." If you invite her at all, it is
your duty, for your own sake as well as hers, to treat her well in every
thing. You will lose nothing by doing so.
If she desires to assist you in sewing, and has brought no work of her
own, you may avail yourself of her offer, and employ her in
moderation--but let it be in moderation only, and when sitting in the
family circle. When alone in her own room, she, of course, would much
rather read, write, or occupy herself in some way for her own benefit,
or amusement. There are ladies who seem to expect that their guests
should perform as much work as hired seamstresses.
Let the children be strictly forbidden to run into the apartments of
visiters. Interdict them from going thither, unless sent with a message;
and then let them be made to understand that they are always to knock at
the door, and not go in till desired to do so. Also, that they are not
to play and make a noise in the neighbourhood of her room. And when she
comes into the parlour, that they are not to jump on her lap, put their
hands into her pockets, or rummage her work-basket, or rumple and soil
her dress by clinging to it with their hands. Neither should they be
permitted to amuse themselves by rattling on the lower keys when she is
playing on the piano, or interrupt her by teazing her all the time to
play "for them to dance." All this we have seen, and the mothers have
never checked it. To permit children to ask visiters for pennies or
sixpences is mean and contemptible. And, if money _is_ given them by a
guest, they should be made to return it immediately.
Enquire on the first evening, if your visiter is accustomed to taking
any refreshment before she retires for the night. If she is, have
something sent up to her room every night, unless your own family are
in the same habit. Then let sufficient for all be brought into the
parlour. These little repasts are very pleasant, especially at the close
of a long winter evening, and after coming home from a place of public
amusement.
To "welcome the coming--speed the parting guest"--is a good maxim. So
when your visiter is about to leave you, make all smooth and convenient
for her departure. Let her be called up at an early hour, if she is to
set out in the morning. Send a servant up to strap and bring down her
trunks, as soon as she has announced that they are ready; and see that
an early breakfast is prepared for her, and some of the family up and
dressed to share it with her. Slip some cakes into her satchel for her
to eat on the road, in case, by some chance, she should not reach the
end of her journey at the usual hour. Have a carriage at the door in due
time, and let some male member of the family accompany her to the
starting-place and see her off, attending to her baggage and procuring
her tickets.