Why is a hen? (Kerflop!) Haw, haw!
Toot, goes the slide trombone;
Why is a hen? (And a swat in the jaw!)
And the ushers laugh alone.
Why is a—(Bang!)—is a—(Biff!) Ho, ho!
Boom! goes the sad French horn;
Why is a hen? (Kerflop!) Do you know?—
And the paid admissions mourn!
Vhy iss a hen? Yes? No? (Kerflop?)
Bang! goes the man at the drum;
Vhy iss a hen? (And a knock at the top!)
And the press agent's stricken dumb;
Vhy iss a—(Thud!)—iss a—(Flop!)—iss a hen?
Hark! how the supers laugh!
Vhy iss a—(Bing! Bang! Boom!)—and then
The slapstick's bust in half!
(Curtain)