Piperock saloon puts up job on sick minister. Spikes ginger ale for
prohibitionists. Harrowing Details as follows.
And then it goes on to tell about how the tough element took advantage
of the innocent and got ’em throwed into jail. I ain’t mentioned in the
first part, but later it remarks about the play in Piperock and says:
Ike Harper, a reformed drunkard, will play the part of the
Horrible Example. As Mr. Harper has lived the life he will
depict, the audience will be moved to tears. Mr. Harper, before
his conversion, was intimately connected with Magpie Simpkins,
the liquor interests’ candidate for sheriff.
I read the last part out loud, and then I looks up at Magpie, who is
taking off his vest and rolling up his sleeves.
“They’ll be moved to tears if they see you pretty soon,” says he. “They
may use you as a horrible example, Mr. Harper, but I get first chance.”
What could I do? I tried to explain, but you can’t explain nothing to a
man who hits you on the jaw every time you open your mouth; so I decides
to lick him first and talk later.
Me and him sure kept house. We took pardners for a waltz and wasn’t
careful what we stepped on. I got him down once. He bumped my head on
the floor and then got off to get a stick of wood to hit me with, and I
got up. Then we took pardners for a square dance.
“Salute your pardners!” says I and swung at his jaw.
I reckon I must ’a’ missed. The next thing I know I skidded across the
room, hits my head on our dry-goods-box cupboard, and the whole thing
came down upon me. I don’t know how long I played _Old Mother Hubbard_,
but I do know that, when I gets back to the point where things annoy me,
I finds that I’ve got a mixed taste of sody, baking-powder, vinegar and
molasses syrup in my mouth, and later on I finds my face and hair
veneered with the mixture. I dumps the big box to one side and crawls
out.
“My ——!” snorts a voice at the door. “You gobby critter!”