CHAPTER XXIX

|THE two girls left the room slowly, after sending in the direction of

Fanny a glance which they meant should encourage her--a glance which

should let her know that they were quite ready to share her punishment,

should the worst come to the worst.

Fanny replied to them with her eyes; and then prepared for the worst.

It quickly came.

“My dear daughter,” said Dr. Burney, when they were alone, Mrs. Burney

in her chair at the head of the table. “My dear Fanny, I am no believer

in leading by degrees up to such a communication as I have to make to

you. I think that the sooner it is got over the better it will be

for all whom it may concern. Well, this is it: Mr. Thomas Barlowe has

written to me asking my permission for him to address you with a view to

marriage.”

He made a pause, looking at her to observe the effect of this

revelation.

And what he saw at first was a girl with a pale face and downcast eyes,

awaiting, almost breathlessly, an accusation from which she shrank; but

when he had spoken he saw a great change come over her. Not immediately,

but gradually. It seemed to him that she had not fully realized the

meaning of his words--that she was puzzled--trying to recall what he had

said. Then the light seemed to dawn upon her. She flushed, and, after

a few moments, threw back her head and went into a peal of laughter--a

real schoolgirl's fit of laughter at something amazingly comic--the

tumbling of a clown into a pool of water with a splash, or, perhaps, the

slipping of a dignified beadle upon a butter slide. Her laughter went

on for a long time, but without in the least suggesting hysteria--it

was simply a girl's natural laughter on realizing the comic side of a

situation which grown-up people would regard as extremely serious.

Neither her father nor his wife could understand why she should receive

in such a spirit an essentially serious communication--the most serious

that any young woman could receive. They had not before them the

ludicrous picture that presented itself to her imagination--a picture of

the Roman Rauzzini on the one side and the Poultry Barlowe on the other,

asking her to choose between them. It was this presentment, coming in a

flash the moment she realized that the publishing of the book was not

the question which she had to face, that forced her to yield to that

long fit of laughter.

Her father and stepmother sat stolidly by, but she knew that had she and

her father been alone, he would at least have smiled with her.

In a few minutes she had recovered herself sufficiently to be able to

apologize for her levity.

“I beg your pardon,” she said. “I am behaving like a goose, but I could

not help it--something forced me--something that occurred to me--a funny

thing. I am very sorry.”

“There is nothing funny that I can see in the honourable request made by

an honest young man, my dear Fanny,” said Mrs. Burney.

“No, no; nothing whatever; only--well, funny ideas will occur to foolish

people like myself at the most serious moments,” said Fanny.

“That is quite true, indeed,” said her father. “I have myself

experienced what you say. Perhaps, after all, I should not have blurted

out what I had to tell you--it came to you as a surprise, I doubt not.”

“A great surprise, indeed,” she replied. “I cannot understand how Mr.

Barlowe could ever fancy that I--that he--that--oh, I should have known

what that terrible entertainment was meant to lead to--but when, in that

clumsily marked way I was sent into the drawing-room with him alone, he

began to talk of his uncle, the Aider-man--he said that the Alderman was

quite approachable even in regard to ordinary people like ourselves--and

then came his cousins--all of them remarkable! But you should have seen

him slice away at the ham--the biggest ham I ever saw--it needed to

be--such eating!”

“The recollection of that no doubt made you laugh,” said Dr. Burney.

“But, at the same time, you must remember that though the customs of

the Poultry are not ours, still, they may be very reasonable

customs--perhaps more reasonable than our own. It may suit us to dine as

late as halfpast four and only to have a slice of cake with our tea; but

business people find it more convenient to dine at one o'clock--it makes

an equal division of their long working-day--so that a slice of ham----”

“I know that is quite true, and I was not so foolish as to give myself

airs because I had dined at half-past four and had no appetite for ham,”

said Fanny; “but--oh, mother, you saw how foolishly formal was the whole

thing.”

“I said that I thought it quite unnecessarily formal,” replied Mrs.

Burney, “and if I had had any notion that it was going to be like that

I would certainly have given Mrs. Barlowe a hint. Still, Thomas is, I

know, an excellent young man who has never given his parents an

hour's uneasiness, and his intentions are honourable, and so should be

honoured. If you have no tender regard for him at present that is no

reason why, when you get accustomed to the thought of him as a suitor

for your hand----”

“Oh, mother, that is quite impossible!” cried Fanny. “How could I ever

get accustomed to such a thought?”

“I do not know why you should not,” replied Mrs. Burney. “He is a most

worthy young man, and Mr. Barlowe's business is one of the best in

the City. You must remember, my dear Fanny, that in these days a girl,

unless she has a portion, runs a very great chance of becoming an old

maid, so that no opportunity of settling down in a comfortable home

should be neglected.”

“That is perfectly true,” said Dr. Burney. “You will understand that we

have no desire to force this or any match upon you, my dear child: so

long as I have a house over my head you shall share it. But I am sure

that you must know that I am a poor man to-day, although I have worked

as hard at my profession as any living man, and I cannot provide you or

your sisters with any portion. Heaven knows that if I had a fortune I

would gladly divide it among you; but as it is, I think it right to tell

you that you need expect nothing.”

“Dearest father,” said Fanny, dissolving into tears, as she took his

hand and kissed it, “I have never expected a fortune from you--not a

penny piece. I know that I shall be portionless, and I daresay that Mr.

Barlowe thinks himself generous in his proposal; but I could never bring

myself to accept him--to look on him as a suitor. It would be quite

impossible. If I thought it possible that I should ever have any

affection for him, I might feel myself justified in encouraging him; but

I know that it would be out of the question. I would prefer to go forth

and beg my bread--nay, to starve.”

“Then we shall pursue the matter no farther for the present,” said her

father, kissing her on the forehead as she nestled close to him.

“Yes, that is best--for the present,” acquiesced his wife. “Still, if

you will be advised by me, my dear Fanny, you will remember that Mr.

Barlowe is ready to address you knowing that you will be portionless,

and if you bear that in mind, perhaps you will be surprised to find

some' day, not so far distant, that the thought of him is not so

repugnant to you. You are no longer a girl, and when one is midway

between twenty and thirty every extra year counts in reducing one's

chances of being settled in life. I could cite dozens of instances that

I have known of young women being glad to accept at twenty-eight the

suitors they scorned at twenty or even twenty-five. Oh, yes, the years

come upon one and bring with them a clearer vision of life and love;

frequently they bring regret for opportunities neglected. But we will

not press the matter any farther--just now. I dare say the young man

will submit to be put off--for a time.”

“Nay, for ever,” said Fanny resolutely.

“Oh, well,” said her stepmother.

After a pause, during which Fanny seemed to be debating some matter

in her mind, a little line showing itself along her forehead, she said

slowly: “I do not think that I shall be a burden on you, dear father; I

believe that one day I may be able to do something.”

“Do not fancy that I would ever think of you as a burden, my dear

child,” said her father. “But what do you mean by saying that you may

one day do something?--some work, do you suggest?”

“Something--I am fond of writing,” she murmured.

He laughed gently, saying:

“You are a very good girl, my love, and I know how much I am indebted to

you for your admirable copying of my notes for the History; but do not

let the idea take hold of you that such work is well paid. If you ever

get in touch with a bookseller, he will tell you that the work of a

copyist is very poorly paid.”

“I was not thinking of copying,” murmured Fanny.

“Of what then, pray?” he asked.

“If I could but write a book,” she replied, with her eyes on the floor.

“A book!” cried Mrs. Burney, who thought that she had been silent long

enough. “A book!”

“To be sure--to be sure,” said her father, in the indulgent tone of a

parent humouring a child. “You might write a book--so might anyone who

could pay for a ream of paper, a bottle of ink and a box of quills.

You should speak to Mr. Newbery about it: he has printed many nursery

stories since 'Goody Two Shoes.' You might indeed do something that the

children would take a fancy to. Well, Francis Newbery is as honest a man

as his uncle, and we may talk to him about it. By the by, did not you

once tell me that you had written something, or that you were going to

write something? You thought it proper to get my leave. I had forgotten

that. Well, if it be a moral nursery story, we might interest Mr.

Newbery in it.”

“I do not think that it is quite wise to encourage a girl to neglect

her useful household duties in order to compile some rubbish that no one

would read,” said Mrs. Burney.

“Of course you will understand that you are not to neglect your

household duties, Fanny,” said her father.

“If she performs her household duties and sticks to her needlework,

she will have no time left for scribbling rubbish,” cried Mrs. Burney,

hastily.

“She made a bonfire of all that childish nonsense long ago, and I hope

that she will never be so foolish as to waste good paper and pens and,

most precious of all, good time, over such exercises. That is all we

have to say just now, I think--is it not, Doctor? I shall reply to Mr.

Barlowe's letter--a most creditable letter--straightforward--honourable!

I am only sorry that I cannot make the reply to it that it deserves.”

She had opened the door and called for William, their manservant, to

remove the breakfast things. Fanny lingered for a few minutes after she

had risen from her chair. She had assumed from the moment she had begun

to speak of writing, that her opportunity had come; if her stepmother

had not interposed so hastily and so emphatically, she would have made

her confession as to “Evelina,”, let the consequences be what they

might; but now that the servant had come with his tray and her

stepmother jingled her key-basket, she perceived that her chance was

gone. She had a sense of sneaking out of the room.

As she went slowly up the stairs she could hear the voice of her

stepmother remonstrating with her father for having said something that

she, Fanny, might regard as encouragement to waste her precious time in

the pursuit of such folly as writing a book.

She heard her father's little laugh as he explained (she was sure) that

of course he had not been speaking seriously; but that he had not the

heart to be severe upon her and her harmless scribbling.

The author of “Evelina” went very slowly upstairs, and when she reached

the work-room landing she found Susy and Lottie waiting for her, glowing

with excitement. Susy was waving over her head what seemed to be a bulky

pamphlet. Coming closer, Fanny saw that it was the chief of the literary

reviews, which had apparently just arrived at the house.

“A splendid column about 'Evelina,'” she whispered. “Not so good as

it should be, but still splendid. Here it is. But why are you so glum?

Surely they did not scold you now that the book is so great a success.”

“They did not ask me to tarry in the room to charge me with

double-dealing in regard to the book,” said Fanny. “They would not allow

me to make my confession when I had the opportunity--the best that I

shall ever have. 'Twas not my confession that was on the _tapis_, but

quite another. That is why I look glum.”

“Another--another confession? But what had either of them to confess?”

cried Lottie.

“Nothing. They didn't confess.”

“But whose confession was it, then, if not theirs?” asked Lottie.

“It was young Mr. Barlowe's,” said Fanny, with a lugubriousness that was

quite comic. “Young Mr. Barlowe wrote to the padre to confess that

he was passionately--madly--in love with me, and threatening to drown

himself unless permission were given to him to address me--we all know

how fervently young Mr. Barlowe would put his case--that was what I was

summoned to listen to--the fiery letter--only it was too ardent for my

ears: I was only told its purport.”

“But who would ever have thought that he had it in him?” cried Susy.

“Such impudence! I never dreamt that he could rise to such a height of

impudence or I should have thought better of him.”

“'Tis not too late yet, my child,” said Fanny. “You are at liberty to

think as highly of Thomas as you please--or as it would please him.

Please take over his blighted affections and it will be a weight off

my mind. Now give me a chance of reading my splendid review--not that

I care in the least what these foolish critics may say of me--I care

nothing, I tell you, only if you do not let me see it at once I shall

die at your feet.”

“There it is,” said Susy, “a full column! The idea of anyone written

of in such terms being proposed to by Thomas Barlowe! Such impudence

indeed!”

Fanny's First Novel · 第 29 / 35 章