It is my intention to record daily all that the Emperor Napoleon did or
said while I was about his person; but, before I begin my diary, I hope
to be excused for offering a few preliminary remarks, which may not be
altogether useless.
I never commenced the perusal of any historical work without first
wishing to know the character of the author, his situation in society,
and his political and domestic relations; in fact, all the important
circumstances of his life; conceiving that nothing but a knowledge of
these matters could furnish a key to his writings, or a safe ground of
confidence in his statements. I therefore proceed to supply in my turn
that which I always sought for in others; and, in presenting this diary,
to relate a few facts respecting my past life.
I was scarcely twenty-one years of age when the Revolution broke out,
and had just been made a _Lieutenant de Vaisseau_, which corresponded
with the rank of a field officer in the line: my family was at court,
and I had been recently presented there myself. I was not rich; but my
name and rank in life, together with my professional prospects, were
likely, according to the notions and views of the times, to enable me to
marry according to my wishes. It was at such a moment that our political
troubles burst forth.
One of the principal vices in our system of admission to the service was
that of depriving us of the benefits of a solid and finished education.
Withdrawn from school at the early age of fourteen, abandoned from that
instant to ourselves, and launched as it were on a wide waste, how was
it possible to attain the slightest notion of social organization,
public rights, or the duties of civil life?
Thus, prompted by noble prejudice, rather than by a just sense of duty,
above all, led on by a natural fondness for generous resolves, I was
amongst the first to hasten abroad and join our Princes; to save, as it
was said, the monarch from revolutionary fury, and to defend our
hereditary rights, which we could not, it was asserted, yet abandon
without shame. From the mode in which we had been educated, it required
either a very strong head or a very weak mind to resist the torrent.
The emigration soon became general; this fatal measure is but too well
known to Europe; nor can its folly, as a political blunder and a social
crime, find any excuse in the present day, except in the unenlightened
but upright character of most of those by whom it was undertaken.
Defeated on our own frontiers, discharged and disbanded by foreigners,
rejected and proscribed by the laws of our country, numbers of us
reached England, whose Ministers lost no time in landing us on the shore
of Quiberon. Being so fortunate as not to disembark, I had, after my
return, time to reflect on the horrible alternative of fighting against
our country under foreign banners; and, from this moment, my ideas,
principles, and projects were either disconcerted or entirely changed.
Despairing of events, abandoning the world and my natural sphere, I
devoted myself to study; and, under a borrowed name, went through a
second course of education in attempting to assist that of others.
After a lapse of some years, the treaty of Amiens, and the amnesty
offered by the First Consul, re-opened to us the gates of France. I had
no longer any property there: the laws had disposed of my patrimony; but
can any thing make us forget our native soil, or destroy the charm of
breathing the air of our own country!
I hurried back, and was grateful for a pardon, rendered more acceptable
since I could say with pride that I received it without having any
motives of self-reproach. When monarchy was proclaimed soon after, my
situation and sentiments were of a most singular kind. I found myself a
soldier punished for a cause that had triumphed. Every day brought us
back to our former ideas: all that had been dear to our principles and
prejudices was renewed; and yet delicacy and honour rendered it a kind
of duty in us to keep at a distance.
It was in vain that the new government loudly proclaimed the union of
all parties; and equally so that its chief had declared he would no
longer recognise any but Frenchmen in France; in vain had old friends
and former companions offered me the advantages of a new career to be
chosen by myself. Unable to subdue the conflicting feelings which
agitated my mind, I obstinately persevered in a system of self-denial;
and, devoting all my time to literature, I composed under a feigned
name, an historical work that re-established my fortune; after which I
passed five or six of the happiest years of my life.
Meanwhile, unprecedented events succeeded each other with extraordinary
rapidity: they were of such a nature, and bore so peculiar a character,
that it became impossible for any person whose heart possessed the least
predilection for whatever was great or noble to view them with
indifference. The glory of our country was raised to a pitch unknown in
the history of any other people: the administration of affairs was
unexampled, not less by its energy than the consequences it produced; a
simultaneous impulse, which was suddenly given to every species of
industry, excited the emulation of all at the same moment; the army was
unrivalled, striking terror abroad and creating a just pride at home.
Every day added to the number of our trophies, while numerous monuments
proclaimed our exploits; the victories of Austerlitz, Jena, and
Friedland; the treaties of Presburg and Tilsit had constituted France
the first of nations, and made her the arbitress of Europe. It was a
signal honour to be a Frenchman; and yet all these exploits, labours and
prodigies, were the work of one man. For my own part, whatever might
have been my former prepossessions and prejudices, I was now filled with
admiration; and, as we all know, there is but one step from admiration
to affection. It was precisely at this period that the Emperor called
some of the first families of France round his throne, and caused it to
be circulated, amongst the rest, that he would consider those who
remained aloof as bad Frenchmen. I did not hesitate for an instant: I
have, said I to myself, fulfilled the obligations of my natural oath,
that of my birth and education, to which I have continued faithful until
its extinction. Our princes too were no longer thought of: we even
doubted their existence. The solemnities of religion, the alliance of
kings, the example of Europe, and the splendour of France, henceforth
taught me that I had a new sovereign. Had those who preceded us made so
long a resistance to such powerful efforts, before rallying round the
first of the Capets? I answered therefore, for myself, that, happy in
being thus enabled to obey a call which removed me with honour from the
delicate situation in which I was placed, I freely, spontaneously, and
without reserve, transferred the zeal, loyalty, and attachment which I
had constantly cherished for my old masters, to the new sovereign: the
result of this step was my immediate admission at court.
In this state of things, I felt extremely anxious that my recent
protestations should be ratified by deeds. The English had invaded
Flushing, and threatened Antwerp; I therefore hastened to assist in the
defence of the latter place, as a volunteer; and, on the subsequent
evacuation of Flushing, my nomination to the office of chamberlain
called me near the person of the Emperor. Being desirous of adding some
more useful occupation to the duties of this honourable post, I
solicited and obtained a seat in the Council of State. Hence followed
several confidential missions: I was sent to Holland at the period of
its union to the French Empire, in order to receive whatever related to
the naval department; then to Illyria, for the purpose of liquidating
the public debt; and afterwards over half the Empire, to superintend
establishments of public beneficence. During our late misfortunes, I
received some consoling proofs that the inhabitants of the countries to
which I had thus been sent were not dissatisfied with my conduct.
Providence had however fixed a limit to our prosperity. The catastrophe
of Moscow, the disasters of Leipsic, and the siege of Paris, are well
known. I commanded in that city one of the legions which acquired honour
by its severe losses on the 31st of March. When the capitulation took
place I gave up the command, feeling that other duties were to be
performed near the person of my sovereign, but could not reach
Fontainebleau in time:—the Emperor had abdicated, and was succeeded by
the King.
My situation now became more singular than it had been twelve years
before. The cause for which I had sacrificed my fortune, for which I
remained so long in exile, and six years in a state of self-denial at
home, was at length triumphant; nevertheless, the point of honour and
other considerations were about to prevent my reaping any benefit from
the event! What could be more capricious than my fate? Two revolutions
had been effected in opposition to each other:—by the first I lost my
patrimony; by the second I might have been deprived of life: neither the
one nor the other had been favourable to my fortune. Vulgar minds will
only perceive an unfortunate tergiversation of opinions in this wayward
destiny, while the lovers of intrigue will assert that I was twice a
dupe: only the few will understand that I have twice honourably
fulfilled my duty. Be this as it may, those early friends, whose esteem
was not lessened by the line of conduct I had pursued, having now become
all powerful, invited me to join them: it was impossible to obey the
generous call; disgusted and disheartened, I resolved that my public
life should terminate. Ought I to have exposed myself to the false
judgment of those who were watching my proceedings? Could every body see
what was passing in my mind?
Having now become a Frenchman even to enthusiasm, and unable to endure
that national degradation of which I was a daily witness amidst foreign
bayonets, I determined to endeavour to divert my thoughts at a distance
from the scene of calamity, and went to pass a few months in England.
How altered did every thing appear there! On reflection, I found that it
was myself who had undergone a great change.
I had scarcely returned, when Napoleon appeared on our coasts: he was
transported to the capital as it were by magic, and this without
battles, excesses, or effusion of blood. I thought I saw the stain
brought on us by foreign hands effaced, and all our glory restored.
Destiny had ordered otherwise!
No sooner did I hear of the Emperor’s arrival, than I spontaneously
repaired to attend on his person. I was present at the moment of
abdication; and, when the question of his removal was agitated, I
requested permission to participate in his fate. Such had been till then
the disinterestedness and simplicity, some will say folly, of my
conduct, that, notwithstanding my daily intercourse as an officer of the
household and member of his council, Napoleon scarcely knew me. “Do you
know whither your offer may lead you?” said he, in his astonishment. “I
have made no calculation about it,” I replied. He accepted me, and I am
at St. Helena.
I have now made myself known; the reader has my credentials in his
hands: a host of contemporaries are living—it will be seen whether a
single individual amongst them stands up to invalidate them: I therefore
begin my task.
RETURN OF THE EMPEROR TO THE ELYSÉE, AFTER
THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO.
Tuesday, June 20th, 1815.—Heard of the Emperor’s return to the Elysée
Palace: placed myself in immediate attendance there. Found Messrs.
Montalambert and Montholon there, brought by the same sentiment.
Napoleon had just lost a great battle; so that the safety of the nation
thenceforth depended on the wisdom and zeal of the Chamber of
Representatives. The Emperor, still covered with dust from the field of
Waterloo, was on the point of hurrying into the midst of them, there to
declare our dangers and resources, and to engage that his personal
interests should never be a barrier to the happiness of France; after
which he intended to quit Paris immediately. It is said that several
persons dissuaded him from this step, by leading him to apprehend an
approaching ferment amongst the deputies.
It is as yet impossible to comprehend every report that circulates with
regard to this fatal battle: some say there is manifest treason; others,
a fatality without example. Thirty thousand men under Grouchy lost their
way and were too late, taking no part in the engagement; the army,
victorious till the evening, was, it is said, suddenly seized with a
panic towards eight o’clock, and became broken in an instant. It is
another Crecy, another Azincourt,———![1] every one trembles and thinks
all is lost!
Footnote 1:
I had put in the text _une véritable Journée des Eperons_,[2] and must
not omit to state what led to its being expunged.
The Emperor who alone knew I kept a journal at St. Helena, one day
expressed a wish that I should read a few pages to him: on coming to
this expression, inadvertently thrown in, he suddenly exclaimed, “What
have you done! Erase, erase, sir, quickly! _Une Journée des Eperons!_
what a calumny! Ah! unfortunate army! brave men! you never fought
better!” Then after a pause of a few moments, he added in a tone
expressive of deep feeling:—“We had some base wretches amongst us! May
heaven forgive them! But as to France, will _she_ ever recover from
the effects of that ill-fated day!”
Footnote 2:
In allusion to the battle of Guinegatte, fought near Boulogne in 1513,
between the army of Henry VIII. and that of France. The French were
completely routed on this occasion, and the celebrated Bayard taken
prisoner while covering the retreat; this was so precipitate that the
day was ever after styled _La Journée des Eperons_ (or day of spurs),
because as stated by contemporary historians, the French army made
more use of their spurs than lances.—_Editor._