I am very glad to hear you are come to town, and as you are my best
friend, now I have lost Mr. Collins, give me leave to open my heart
to you, and to beg your assistance in an affair which highly concerns
both Mr. Collins's (your friend) and my own honour and reputation.
The case, in few words, stands thus:--Mr. Collins by his last will
and testament left me his manuscripts. Mr. Tomlinson, who first
acquainted me with it, told me that Mrs. Collins should be glad to
have them, and I made them over to her; whereupon she was pleased to
present me with fifty guineas. I desired her at the same time to take
care they should be kept safe and unhurt, which she promised to do.
This was done the 25th of last month. Mr. Tomlinson, who managed all
this affair, was present.
Now, having further considered that matter, I find that I have done a
most wicked thing. I am persuaded that I have betrayed the trust of a
person who, for twenty-six years, had given me continual instances of
his friendship and confidence. I am convinced that I have acted
contrary to the will and intention of my dear deceased friend; showed
a disregard to the particular mark of esteem he gave me on that
occasion; in short, that I have forfeited what is dearer to me than
my own life--honour and reputation.
These melancholy thoughts have made so great an impression upon me,
that I protest to you I can enjoy no rest; they haunt me everywhere,
day and night. I earnestly beseech you, sir, to represent my unhappy
case to Mrs. Collins. I acted with all the simplicity and uprightness
of my heart; I considered that the MSS. would be as safe in Mrs.
Collins's hands as in mine; that she was no less obliged to preserve
them than myself; and that, as the library was left to her, they
might naturally go along with it. Besides, I thought I could not too
much comply with the desire of a lady to whom I have so many
obligations. But I see now clearly that this is not fulfilling Mr.
Collins's will, and that the duties of our conscience are superior to
all other regards. But it is in her power to forgive and mend what I
have done imprudently, but with a good intention. Her high sense of
virtue and generosity will not, I am sure, let her take any advantage
of my weakness; and the tender regard she has for the memory of the
best of men, and the tenderest of husbands, will not suffer that his
intentions should be frustrated, and that she should be the
instrument of violating what is most sacred. If our late friend had
designed that his MSS. should remain in her hands, he would certainly
have left them to her by his last will and testament; his acting
otherwise is an evident proof that it was not his intention.
All this I proposed to represent to her in the most respectful
manner; but you will do it infinitely better than I can in this
present distraction of mind; and I flatter myself that the mutual
esteem and friendship which has continued so many years between Mr.
Collins and you, will make you readily embrace whatever tends to
honour his memory.
I send you the fifty guineas I received, which I do now look upon as
the wages of iniquity; and I desire you to return them to Mrs.
Collins, who, as I hope it of her justice, equity, and regard to Mr.
Collins's intentions, will be pleased to cancel my paper.