He continued to urge, giving the most plausible reasons why I should
sign. But I was firm. He even tried to tempt me by unrolling my shadow
on the heath. "A line of your pen, and you save your Mina from that
rogue's clutches."
At that moment Bendel arrived on the scene, saw me in tears, my shadow
on the ground apparently in the stranger's power, and set upon the man
with his stick. The grey man walked away, and Bendel followed him,
raining blows upon his shoulders, till they disappeared from sight.
I was left with my despair, and spent the day and night on the heath. I
was resolved not to return among men, and wandered about for three days,
feeding on wild fruit and spring-water. On the morning of the fourth day
I suddenly heard a sound, but could see nobody--only a shadow, not
unlike my own, but without body. I determined to seize it, and rushed
after it. Gradually I gained on it; with a final rush I made for it--and
met unexpectedly bodily resistance. We fell on the ground, and a man
became visible under me. I understood at once. The man must have had the
invisible bird's nest, which he dropped in the struggle, thus becoming
visible himself.
The nest being invisible, I looked for its shadow, found it, seized it
quickly, and, of course, disappeared from the man's sight. I left him
tearing his hair in despair; and I rejoiced at being able to go again
among men. Quickly I proceeded to Mina's garden, which was still empty,
although I imagined I heard steps following me. I sat down on a bench,
and watched the verdurer leaving the house. Then a fog seemed to pass
over my head. I looked around, and--oh, horror!--beheld the grey man
sitting by my side. He had pulled his magic cap over my head, at his
feet was his shadow and my own, and his hand played with the parchment.
"So we are both under the same cap," he began; "now please give me back
my bird's nest. Thanks! You see, sometimes we are forced to do what we
refuse when asked kindly. I think you had better buy that shadow back.
I'll throw in the magic cap."
Meanwhile, Mina's mother had joined the verdurer, and they began to
discuss Mina's approaching marriage and Gauner's wealth, which amounted
to ten millions. Then Mina joined them. She was urged to consent, and
finally said, sobbingly, "I have no further wish on earth. Do with me as
you please." At this moment Gauner approached, and Mina fainted.
"Can you endure this?" asked my companion. "Have you no blood in your
veins?" He rapidly scratched a slight wound in my hand, and dipped a pen
in the blood. "To be sure, red blood! Then sign." And I took the pen and
parchment.
I had scarcely touched food for days, and the excitement of this last
hour had completely exhausted my strength. Before I had time to sign I
swooned away. When I awoke it was dark. My hateful companion was in a
towering rage. The sound of festive music came from the brightly
illuminated house; groups of people strolled through the garden, talking
of Mina's marriage with the wealthy Mr. Gauner, which had taken place
this morning.
Disengaging myself from the magic cap, which act made my companion
disappear from my view, I made for the garden gate. But the invisible
wretch followed me with his taunts. He only left me at the door of my
house, with a mocking "_au revoir_." The place had been wrecked by the
mob and was deserted. Only the faithful Bendel was there to receive me
with tears of mingled grief and joy. I pressed him to my heart, and bid
him leave me to my misery. I told him to keep a few boxes filled with
gold, that were still in the house, made him saddle my horse, and
departed, leaving the choice of the road to the animal, for I had
neither aim, nor wish, nor hope.
A pedestrian joined me on the sad journey. After tramping along for a
while, he asked permission to put his cloak on my horse. I consented; he
thanked me, and then, in a kind of soliloquy, began to praise the power
of wealth, and to speak cleverly of metaphysics. Meanwhile, day was
dawning; the sun was about to rise, the shadows to spread their
splendour--and I was not alone! I looked at my companion--it was the man
with the grey coat!
He smiled at my surprise, and continued to converse amiably. In fact, he
not only offered to replace for the time being my former servant Bendel,
but actually lent me my shadow for the journey. The temptation was
great. I suddenly gave my horse the spurs and galloped off at full
speed; but, alas! my shadow remained behind and I had to turn back
shamefacedly.
"You can't escape me," said my companion, "I hold you by your shadow."
And all the time, hour by hour, day by day, he continued his urging. At
last we quarrelled seriously, and he decided to leave me. "If ever you
want me, you have only to shake your bag. You hold me by my gold. You
know I can be useful, especially to the wealthy; you have seen it."
I thought of the past and asked him quickly, "Did you get Mr. John's
signature?" He smiled. "With so good a friend, the formality was not
necessary."
"Where is he? I want to know."
He hesitated, then put his hand into his pocket, and pulled out Mr.
John's livid body; the blue lips of the corpse moved, and uttered
painfully the words: "_Justo judico Dei judicatus sum; justo judicio Dei
condemnatus sum."_
Seized with horror, I threw the inexhaustible money-bag into the abyss,
and then spoke the final words. "You fiend, I exorcise you in the name
of God! Be off, and never show yourself before mine eyes again!"
He glared at me furiously and disappeared instantly.
_III.--The Wanderer_
Left now without shadow and without money, save for the few gold pieces
still in my pocket, I could almost have been happy, had it not been for
the loss of my love. My horse was down below at the inn; I decided to
leave it there and to wander on on foot. In the forest I encountered a
peasant, from whom I obtained information about the district and its
inhabitants. He was an intelligent man, and I quite enjoyed the talk.
When we approached the wide bed of a mountain stream, I made him walk in
front, but he turned round to speak to me. Suddenly he broke off--"But
how is that? You have no shadow!"
"Unfortunately!" I said, with a sigh. "During an illness I lost my hair,
nails, and shadow. The hair and nails have grown again, but the shadow
won't."
"That must have been a bad illness," said the peasant, and walked on in
silence till we reached the nearest side-road, when he turned off
without saying another word. I wept bitter tears, and my good spirits
had vanished. And so I wandered on sadly, avoiding all villages till
nightfall, and often waiting for hours to pass a sunny patch unobserved.
I wanted to find work in a mine to save me from my thoughts.
My boots began to be worn out. My slender means made me decide to buy a
strong pair that had already been used; new ones were too dear. I put
them on at once, and walked out of the village, scarcely noticing the
way, since I was thinking deeply of the mine I hoped to reach the same
night, and of the manner in which I was to obtain employment. I had
scarcely walked two hundred steps, when I noticed that I had lost the
road. I was in a wild virginal forest. Another few steps and I was on an
endless ice-field. The cold was unbearable, and I had to hasten my
steps. I ran for a few minutes, and found myself in rice-fields where
Chinese labourers were working. There could be no doubt; I had seven-
league boots on my feet!
I fell on my knees, shedding tears of gratitude. Now my future was
clear. Excluded from society, study and science were to be my future
strength and hope. I wandered through the whole world from east to west,
from north to south, comparing the fauna and flora of the different
regions. To reduce the speed of my progress, I found I had only to pull
a pair of slippers over my boots. When I wanted money, I just took an
ivory tusk to sell in London. And finally I made a home in the ancient
caves of the desert near Thebes.
Once in the far north I encountered a polar bear. Throwing off my
slippers, I wanted to step upon an island facing me. I firmly placed my
foot on it, but on the other side I fell into the sea, as the slipper
had not come off my boot. I saved my life and hurried to the Libyan
desert to cure my cold in the sun; but the heat made me ill. I lost
consciousness, and when I awoke again I was in a comfortable bed among
other beds, and on the wall facing me I saw inscribed in golden letters
my own name.
To cut things short--the institution which had received me had been
founded by Bendel and the widowed Mina with my money, and in my honour
had been called the Schlemihlium. As soon as I felt strong enough, I
returned to my desert cave, and thus I live to this day.
You, my dear Chamisso, are to be the keeper of my strange history, which
may contain useful advice for many. You, if you will live among men,
honour first the shadow, then the money. But, if you live only for your
better self, you will need no advice.
* * * * *