CHAPTER XIII

FANCY CONSULTS THE CARDS

On the following Sunday, Mrs. Yellam's pew was empty again,

conspicuously so, in the eyes of Hamlin. After luncheon he said to

Fancy:

"Is Mrs. Yellam ill?"

"No, sir."

Hamlin guessed what had happened.

"No news is good news, Fancy."

"That's what the men say, sir. It ain't a mort of comfort to us women."

She looked very white, with dark, heavy lines beneath her eyes. Hamlin

said a few encouraging words to which she listened attentively, nodding

her head. Hamlin felt reassured. Fancy was unhappy, but she didn't

despair. Before she left the study, she said slowly:

"I believe as Alfred will come back."

To the solicitude and sympathy of neighbours Mrs. Yellam exhibited a

frigid indifference.

"I be just as well as never was," she remarked, when they enquired after

her own health. "Time enough for such as me to fall sick if my Alferd

don't come back."

No further news had reached her. To Jane Mucklow, now the village

optimist, with George at home on leave for Christmas, Mrs. Yellam spoke

with some bitterness. Jane meant well; her sympathy was sincere, but how

could she, so high in Divine favour, understand? Nothing could shake

Susan's conviction that Alfred lay somewhere in France, mortally

wounded, whilst William Saint, the hypocrite and rascal, knelt among the

Communicants. To kneel with him, feeling as she did, would be, in her

opinion, an act of sacrilege. She reflected miserably that, since

confirmation, she had never missed a Christmas Celebration of the

Eucharist.

On the Monday, Hamlin came to visit her as parish priest. He had

carefully considered what he should say. The faith that burned within

this strong man had been a plant of slow growth, watered by suffering,

pruned by constant self-analysis, and yet, in its essence, the faith of

a child, a faith independent of dogma, soaring high above

technicalities, resting securely upon a belief in ultimate good. He

could not disguise from himself that the Churches--all of them--had

crippled expectation. There had been no renascence, no uplifting

movement, no real enthusiasm. Political considerations and expediencies

kept the Vatican silent when a voice, thundering as from Sinai, might

have awakened millions to a realisation of the issues at stake. The

Church of England and the Nonconformists remained almost as stagnant,

content, for the most part, with the well-oiled grooves, waiting for and

watching Temporal Power, unable or unwilling to take the lead, to speak

definitely, to act decisively. With rare exceptions, the gospel of Love

had not been authoritatively used to vanquish the gospel of Hate.

Hamlin, need it be said? was no sentimentalist. He believed with Woodrow

Wilson that Prussian militarism must be wiped out. He did not believe

with Wilson that the German nation, as a whole, could be exonerated from

blame. Available evidence justified a different conclusion. Lust for

world-dominion, regardless of consequence, animated and fortified the

Central Powers because popular opinion lay behind them, unanimous save

for a negligible minority. Non-resistance to a catastrophic policy of

aggression, so potent, so meticulously organised threatened not only

Christianity but civilisation. To turn the cheek to these smiting Huns

was an unthinkable proposition to Hamlin. Nor could he find in the New

Testament any injunction of the Master which could be twisted into a

golden rule to be applied to States and nationalities. Christ dealt with

individuals, preaching and practising the power of love as between man

and man, not as between man and mankind. No text that Hamlin could find

would justify forbearance towards a nation determined to inflict

"Shrecklichkeit" upon the human race. On this point his mind was

perfectly clear.

It was not yet, however, so clear upon issues still to be determined,

such as "After the War" problems. He could not measure the stride about

to be taken, provided militarism was crushed. He wondered constantly,

with ever-increasing apprehension, whether love would triumph in the

end, as he prayed that it might, creating a new world concerned with the

happiness of the many, a world purged of the old insensate vanities and

acrimonies.

Mrs. Yellam received him, as usual, a shade more formally, perhaps, with

a slight tightening of her lips. Hamlin began as the personal friend of

long standing, assuring the mother that her son, in all probability, was

not severely wounded, that good news might be expected shortly, that

very soon Alfred might be with her, out of the danger zone for a season,

and able to give attention to his business. But he perceived that he was

wasting words and time. She listened respectfully, saying nothing. He

guessed what ebullitions of feeling were suppressed. He had been

tormented by her anxieties, by her doubts. The loss of his wife had been

irreparable. And when his daughter left him alone in the Vicarage, with

nothing to engross him but his work, an odd distaste of life had

assailed him, a slackness which he fought tooth and nail. Till then he

had hardly known fatigue, as it is known to all women, that dull apathy

more mental than physical which questions means and ends, exaggerating

the difficulties of the former and minimising the latter, an apathy

continually whispering the sad words: _cui bono_? He knew how hard Mrs.

Yellam had worked for her husband, her children, and in particular for

Alfred. During the last ten years all ambition, all energies had been

concentrated upon him alone. She had made unconsciously, a God of him.

Hamlin rose up to deliver his message. Mrs. Yellam rose with him.

"I missed you in church yesterday, and on Christmas Day."

"One old 'ooman can't be missed, sir."

His eyes not his voice softened.

"You are mistaken, Mrs. Yellam. A woman of your character in this parish

is missed--more than you think, perhaps."

"If Alferd comes back, you'll see me in my pew again."

"You have made that rash bargain with your God?"

She said defiantly:

"How do I know as He is my God? The Kayser claims Him."

Hamlin gazed keenly at her.

"If--if I left the matter there, Mrs. Yellam, in the firm hope and

belief that God's way, inscrutable as they may appear to us when all our

energies are at a low ebb, will in His time be made manifest, may I not

ask you, as your parish priest, to consider the example to others, the

many, possibly, who are wavering in faith as you are?"

"Fancy Broomfield bid me think of that."

"Did she? Poor girl, she is distracted with anxiety, like you. But her

faith sustains her. Have you thought of what Fancy told you?"

She answered him slowly, weighing her words:

"My faith be gone, sir. It may come back wi' Alferd. And feeling so

bitter as I do about William Saint, who be stealing my boy's business,

who be letting others fight for him, and making a fortin for hisself,

can I kneel at God's Table?"

"No."

"What be I to do? Go to church, a whited sepulchre, and pretend that I

be a Christian 'ooman? Do 'ee ask me to do that for sake of others?"

Hamlin remained silent. She continued, more calmly:

"I can't bring myself to go church along, although I'd be pleased to

oblige you, sir."

"It is no question of obliging me, Mrs. Yellam. Aren't you adding to

your heavy burden instead of sharing it with One Who laid it upon you

and Who alone can lighten it?"

Grievously she shook her head. Hamlin took his leave. As he walked away,

he muttered to himself: "Civil War--devastating Civil War raging in that

poor old heart."

He returned to the Vicarage with his mind dwelling upon the eternal

conflict, a conflict accentuated by the world-war, because its issues

seemed to enrich or impoverish everybody. By it, without a doubt, Susan

Yellam had been impoverished. He himself was conscious of enrichment.

But--he had not lost a son. He had five children.

After tea Fancy cycled down, as usual, to the Yellam cottage. Solomon

received her boisterously. She made sure that good news awaited her. A

glance at Mrs. Yellam's set face put to flight her hopes. No news had

come. Mrs. Yellam greeted the girl perfunctorily, and then said sharply:

"Have you brought 'em?"

"Yes," said Fancy.

She took from a small hand-bag a much-used pack of cards. Mrs. Yellam

had cleared a space upon the kitchen-table.

"Set 'em out," she commanded.

Fancy sat down, and began to shuffle the pack. Hamlin would have smiled

sorrowfully, had he seen Mrs. Yellam's intent face as the girl's slim

fingers dealt out the cards. So it had come to this. Rejecting the faith

of sixty years, this poor old woman asked for hope and happiness from a

fortuitous arrangement of bits of painted pasteboard! Comedy upon the

underlying tragedy. Hamlin knew, of course, that astrologers, mediums,

crystal-gazers and the like were doing a roaring trade.

Mrs. Yellam, let it be noted, asked Fancy to bring the cards. Protest

had quivered upon Fancy's lips and stayed there.

"Well?"

"It is well, Mother. Alfred will come back. This makes the third time;

and, do you know, when I rode up Sol barked and wagged his tail."

"Did he? The dog be full o' fun now."

Fancy went down on her knees; Sol barked at her, and then began to race

round the room, playing what Fancy called "mad dog." He ended by

leaping, panting, into Mrs. Yellam's lap.

"I believe he knows something, Fancy."

"I'm sure he does. Would he carry on like that if--if Alfred was real

bad?"

Thus each woman, in her artless way, consoled the other.

Upon the Tuesday, details reached Mrs. Yellam. Alfred had been shot in

the arm; the bone was badly broken; his destination was Netley.

Strings were pulled by Sir Geoffrey. Before the week was out Alfred

arrived at Pomfret Court. He looked much the same, not quite so

rubicund; he carried his left arm in a sling. Upon the following Sunday,

Mrs. Yellam appeared in her pew, and the fervour of her responses

excited some comment.

She said to Fancy:

"The cards told true. Now, the sooner you and Alferd becomes man and

wife the better."

The doctor, who visited Pomfret Court daily, raised no objections.

Alfred's arm would keep him in Nether-Applewhite for many weeks, because

small splinters, from time to time, would have to be extracted, a

tedious process. Mrs. Yellam, when she heard this, said with twinkling

eyes:

"Alfred, dear, why didn't you get wounded in both arms?"

To which Alfred replied slily:

"I kept my right arm, Mother, to slip round Fancy's waist."

He told many stories to which Fancy and Mrs. Yellam listened entranced,

and he spoke of the enemy with respect and without rancour. Upon one

occasion, as his battalion moved into the trenches, a German had shouted

out in excellent English:

"Be you the Wiltsheers?"

A reply in the affirmative provoked a request for "pozzy" (jam). But a

tall sergeant, who stood up to hurl a can of preserve into the German

trench, was shot dead. This aroused tremendous wrath, as quickly allayed

when the same voice shouted again, asking if the sergeant who threw the

jam had been hurt. He was soon satisfied on that point, and,

immediately, a hubbub arose in the enemy trench, and a shot was heard.

Soon afterwards the Wiltshires learnt from the lips of the first speaker

that the man who treacherously slew the sergeant had been "done in."

"They ain't all bad," said Alfred.

To Mrs. Yellam's amazement, her son merely laughed when she told him of

Willum Saint's activities.

"'Tis life, Mother. Down river, if a trout's caught behind an old stump,

another takes his pitch before night."

Mrs. Yellam, however, noted with satisfaction that although Alfred was

incapacitated from driving his motor-'bus, the business, since his

arrival in Nether-Applewhite, had leaped ahead again with a renewed

impetus. William Saint looked sour.

Fancy bought her modest trousseau, and, incidentally, put on several

pounds in weight. The weather happened to be bitter, but she never felt

cold when walking out with Alfred. He spoke with enthusiasm of his

officers:

"They're fine gentlemen, Fancy. And those in the ranks are finest of

all." Then he told her a story about two men in a London regiment, both

privates and chums. One was an East-ender; the father of the other owned

a house in Park Lane. The Cockney asked his chum if he had ever visited

Whitechapel. The other remembered that he had bought a bull-terrier from

a fancier in the Mile End Road. He remembered, also, that he had been

handsomely "done" over the deal. After a pause, the Cockney said with a

grin: "I sold you that dawg, Algy. What a mug you was then!"

But Fancy remarked one amazing change in her lover. He never spoke of

the future. His enjoyment of the present was unmistakable. This

abstention from a topic which formerly had engrossed him became more and

more significant. The girl realised what Alfred had been through,

although, unlike most of the wounded men at the Court, he recited no

"horrors." Gradually, too, she perceived a change in his face: he had

"fined down"; his eyes were more alert, with a curiously steadfast

expression. She had never talked with him about religion. That was taken

for granted, and might be summed up as a cut-and-dried sense of certain

obligations such as church-going, honourable dealings with neighbours,

loyalty to the Sovereign, and sobriety of conduct. He knew nothing about

the empty pew.

"Mother took my going awful hard. Did she talk to you about it?"

Fancy told him what had taken place. Alfred held his tongue till she had

finished.

"Thought she'd lost her soul, did she? Poor dear!"

"William Saint doing so well and cutting into your business worried her

dreadful. I think it worries her still that you takes it so easy."

Alfred meditated upon this. When he answered her, he conveyed to her

mind an extraordinary sense of detachment, as if he, the strong man, so

enterprising as a carrier, so alert for "orders," had become suddenly an

onlooker at the game of life. Perhaps surroundings lent themselves to

this impression. They had climbed slowly to the high downs, and were

standing near a noted landmark, a small tower known as the Pepper Box. A

sharp frost had silvered the downs. The air was very still. Upon each

side of them stretched the uplands, melting into distant woods. No

animals were to be seen, not a sheep, not a bird. They seemed to stand

alone in a beautiful, deserted world.

"I suppose," he said, "that 'tis like this. Before the war, I might have

felt different towards William Saint. And after the war, Fancy, if I'm

here, I shall try hard to get back my own again. But to-day I'm thinking

of peace. Fed-up with war I am. I want to live quiet with you and

Mother. I talked a lot of foolishness once about making big money. You

didn't cotton much to the notion. Maybe you feared it would take me away

from you?"

"I did."

"Well, maybe it would. Money drives some folks apart, and the want of it

brings 'em together. And, out there, plotting and planning seems silly,

because one may be--'next.'"

She clutched his arm. He smiled at her, continuing slowly:

"'Tain't so terrible a thought. Most of us fears pain more'n death. I

see more frightened folks in Nether-Applewhite than in the dug outs.

Queer thoughts have come to me, my maid, since we two parted."

"Tell them to me, Alfie."

"'Tisn't easy unless a man has the gift of words. Times, especially at

night, when an attack is expected I've lain still as a dormouse,

thinking that 'twas unreal, a dream like, and that soon I should wake up

and find myself somewhere else."

"I often feel just that way."

"Ah-h-h! Another queer notion is this: the best seem to go first, Fancy;

some of the young officers. Why? I figure it out that death is a big

prize to such. It does explain things a bit, don't it? They get their

reward---quick! And then I set to figuring who is best. God Almighty

knows. One feller in my platoon, before I got my stripes, was a

right-down scallywag, a gaol-bird."

"My!"

"'Twas his notion about death being a prize for the lucky ones. And he

told me that he loved to think how bad he'd been, because he reckoned

himself safe, sure to be one of the last to be called. Next week, he was

blown to a pulp, except his face, and on that was the queerest smile I

ever saw. I helped to carry in what was left."

She clung closer to him. He said in his ordinary genial tones:

"I feel myself again in Blighty, dear. But I want no unpleasantness with

William Saint or any one else. I think, night and day, of you, soon to

be my dear wife."

Love-making rolled on smoothly, as before the war.

But what Alfred had said remained in Fancy's mind. It explained much

that had puzzled her ever since she was able to think: her father's

ill-health and ill-fortune, her mother's premature death, and the big

casualty-lists. If life was a dream--! If reality lay beyond--! Then all

the mysteries, the inequalities, the apparent injustices, could be

explained. Such an explanation is old as human thought. It can be found

in the Vedas, in the Bible, in the writings of the Gnostics, in some of

the pagan and modern philosophies. Fancy, however, was neither concerned

nor interested in speculations veiled in words she could not understand.

Alfred's queer notions were his and hers, rushlights shining in the

darkness. But terror touched her heart, when she applied the obvious

conclusion to herself. If the best were taken, why then Alfred would be

numbered amongst them.

As her wedding-day approached, this apprehension grew fainter and then

disappeared for a time. She resolved to live in the present, not in the

shadows of past or future. Such resolution has been a fairy godmother's

gift to young women in Fancy's class of life. They turn their eyes

gratefully to the sun whenever it shines upon them.

She had never been so happy before.

It was arranged that part of the honeymoon should be spent in London.

After three days' sight-seeing, the pair would return to Mrs. Yellam's

cottage. Alfred bestowed upon Fancy a black fur stole and muff, a

wrist-watch, and a pair of silver-backed hair-brushes.

She placed these oblations upon a chair near her bed, so that her eyes

could gloat upon them the last thing at night and the first thing in the

morning.

Sergeant George Mucklow, V. C., promised to act as best man.

Mrs. Yellam was nearly as happy as Fancy. One fly settled in her

ointment. Conscription had become the law of the land. But the local

tribunal exempted William Saint. Uncle predicted that he would be called

up later. Jane, of course, contradicted this on general principles. With

Mrs. Yellam she believed that Satan would take good care of his own.

The men at Pomfret Court gave a sing-song in Alfred's honour upon the

afternoon before he left them. Fancy sat beside the bridegroom-elect

amongst the quality. She liked one new song so much that she clapped her

hands and called out "Encore" before anybody else. The chorus of that

song is now known to every English-speaking soldier in the world.

There's a long, long trail a-winding

Into the land of my dreams;

Where the nightingales are singing,

And a white moon beams.

There's a long, long night of waiting

Until my dreams all come true;

Till the day when I'll be going down

That long, long trail with you.

Her dreams had come true; the night of waiting was past.

The Soul of Susan Yellam · 第 13 / 20 章