After they had all wished each other sound minds and good health,
Trimalchio turned to Niceros. "You used to be better company at
dinner," he remarked, "and I don't know why you should be dumb today,
with never a word to say. If you wish to make me happy, tell about that
experience you had, I beg of you." Delighted at the affability of his
friend, "I hope I lose all my luck if I'm not tickled to death at the
humor I see you in," Niceros replied. "All right, let's go the limit for
a good time, though I'm afraid these scholars'll laugh at me, but I'll
tell my tale and they can go as far as they like. What t'hell do I care
who laughs? It's better to be laughed at than laughed down." These
words spake the hero, and began the following tale: "We lived in a narrow
street in the house Gavilla now owns, when I was a slave. There, by the
will of the gods, I fell in love with the wife of Terentius, the
innkeeper; you knew Melissa of Tarentum, that pretty round-checked little
wench. It was no carnal passion, so hear me, Hercules, it wasn't; I was
not in love with her physical charms. No, it was because she was such a
good sport. I never asked her for a thing and had her deny me; if she
had an as, I had half. I trusted her with everything I had and never was
done out of anything. Her husband up and died on the place, one day, so
I tried every way I could to get to her, for you know friends ought to
show up when anyone's in a pinch.