Before he had run out of wind, a tray upon which was an enormous hog was
placed upon the table, almost filling it up. We began to wonder at the
dispatch with which it had been prepared and swore that no cock could
have been served up in so short a time; moreover, this hog seemed to us
far bigger than the boar had been. Trimalchio scrutinized it closely and
"What the hell," he suddenly bawled out, "this hog hain't been gutted,
has it? No, it hain't, by Hercules, it hain't! Call that cook! Call
that cook in here immediately!" When the crestfallen cook stood at the
table and owned up that he had forgotten to bowel him, "So you forgot,
did you?" Trimalchio shouted, "You'd think he'd only left out a bit of
pepper and cummin, wouldn't you? Off with his clothes!" The cook was
stripped without delay, and stood with hanging head, between two
torturers. We all began to make excuses for him at this, saying, "Little
things like that are bound to happen once in a while, let us prevail upon
you to let him off; if he ever does such a thing again, not a one of us
will have a word to say in his behalf." But for my part, I was
mercilessly angry and could not help leaning over towards Agamemnon and
whispering in his ear, "It is easily seen that this fellow is criminally
careless, is it not? How could anyone forget to draw a hog? If he had
served me a fish in that fashion I wouldn't overlook it, by Hercules, I
wouldn't." But that was not Trimalchio's way: his face relaxed into good
humor and he said, "Since your memory's so short, you can gut him right
here before our eyes!" The cook put on his tunic, snatched up a carving
knife, with a trembling hand, and slashed the hog's belly in several
places. Sausages and meat-puddings, widening the apertures, by their
own weight, immediately tumbled out.