_Mrs. J. P. C._ "O ROMEO, ROMEO! wherefore art thou ROMEO?"
_Romeo Robertson._ Because I have played it before: but "O JULIET,
JULIET! wherefore art thou JULIET?"
_Mrs. J. P. C._ Because you cast me for the part, and I wanted to play
it.
_Shakspeare adapted to the Lyceum._
[Illustration: Master Romeo probably seventeen, and Miss Juliet
certainly fourteen years old.]
_JULIET_ is, according to her nurse, just fourteen years of age. The
story is that of "_Villikins and his Dinah":_--
There was a rich noble in Verona did dwell,
He had but one daughter an unkimmun fine young gal,
Her name it was _Juliet_, just fourteen years old,
With a werry large fortune in siliver and gold.
Singing tooral li (_ad. lib._).
The southern girl of fourteen equals the northerner of nineteen; and
this must ever be the initial difficulty which few experienced
actresses, can surmount. _Juliet_ is, in fact, a single girl and a
married young woman rolled into one. "Single," "double," and "there's
the rub!"
Mrs. PAT CAMPBELL'S _Juliet_ takes the poison, but not the cake. Her
_Juliet_ has over her the shadow of _Paula Tanqueray_. From the
commencement, except in the Balcony scene, she is a _Juliet_ "with a
past." The balcony and the moonlight suit this _Juliet_. Good, too, is
she when, abjectly miserable, she crumples herself up all in a heap,
like the victim in a picture of Japanese torture, so that at any moment,
without surprising the spectator, she might turn heels over head and
straighten herself out at the feet of the irascible old _Capulet_. Once
again let me adapt a verse of the ancient ditty:--
"Oh Papa, oh Papa, I've not made up my mind,
And to marry just yet I do _not_ feel inclined."
(_Aside._) To _Laurence_ the Friar I'll tell all my grief,
And the reverend gent may afford me relief
By singing (_as a duett_) tooral li tooral, &c.
Judging from the _Tanqueray_ model, Mrs. PAT CAMPBELL _ought_ to have
been at her best in the potion scene; but, she wasn't. As for the final
stabbing, she might as well have tickled herself with a straw and died
o' laughing.
[Illustration: Romeo Robertson ready for any undertaking. Vaults opened,
&c.]
Watching FORBES-ROBERTSON as _Romeo_, I could not help thinking what an
excellent _Hamlet_ he would make; perhaps when I see him in that
character, I shall remember how good he was as _Romeo_:--
"_Hamlet Romeo amem, rentosus Romeo Hamlet._"
But that's another story; so suffice it that temporarily
FORBES-ROBERTSON is "Our Only _Romeo_."
The Rev. NUTCOMBE GOULD, as _Friar Laurence_, gives quite a new reading
of the part. His _Friar_ has ever a merry little twinkle in his eye, as
if quietly enjoying some intensely humourous idea. From this point of
view, Mr. NUTCOMBE GOULD'S _Friar_, being a sort of Rev. THEODORE HOOK,
ever ready with a practical joke and an impromptu, is admirable
and--inimitable.
_Mercutio's_ part is "full of plums"; but these, in Mr. COGHLAN'S mouth,
seemed rather to mar the distinctness of his utterance, as plums in a
mouth have a way of doing. The _Apothecary_, by Brother ROBERTSON, was
not so poor as he looked: but in spite of tradition as to the wondrous
excellence of this "bit of character," what is there to be done with it
except in a three minutes acting illustration of an artistic "make up"?
Were I offered the part I should bargain (after settling of course to
receive a thousand a week) for a scene so arranged as to show the
exterior and the interior of the shop. I would be "on" from the first,
visibly sleeping under the counter. The interior should be fitted up
with shelves just as _Romeo_ describes it. Then while _Romeo_ is
talking, my _Apothecary_ would be examining his "till"; he would turn it
upside down to show there was no cash; he would then in pantomime
explain how famished he feels, and would search, even in an old
mouse-trap, for a bit of cheese. At last, there being no dinner and no
hope of food, he, after a pantomimic exhibition of frenzied despair,
would be in the act of drinking from a large bottle, labelled
"_Poison,--for external application only_," when he hears _Romeo_
calling him. Then he starts: while there is life there is hope! he
answers the summons! And so forth. Then imagine the _Apothecary with the
money_ after _Romeo's_ departure!! As the scene is closing the
_Apothecary_ should be seen bucking himself up, and preparing to go out
to make a night of it at the nearest restaurant. Should Mr.
FORBES-ROBERTSON be making any alterations he is welcome to these
suggestions.
[Illustration: Mrs. Pat Juliet Campbell making herself into a Japanese
Puzzle as she takes a Father's Curse.]
* * * * *
"THE CRAWL TO THE SOUTH."
SIR,--In "the dead season," when despairing editors, or their
representatives, pant for something especially attractive, the maxim
acted upon by those whom Providence has afflicted with the "_cacoethes
scribendi_" appears to be, "_When in doubt, abuse the London, Chatham,
and Dover_." As a much-travelled Ulysses, experienced in "lines cast in
pleasant" and unpleasant "places," and as a sympathising
fellow-traveller with "A Season Ticket Holder,"--(a descriptive
signature rather suggestive of a "kettle-holder" that keeps your fingers
from being burnt,)--I, the Ulysses aforesaid, emphatically endorse all
that "S. T. H.," in the _Times_ of last Thursday, has written. Having
"crawled" North, South, East, and West, I can venture to affirm that the
L. C. & D.'s "Granville Express" is, as far as my experience goes, which
is co-extensive with the whole length of the line, up and down, about
the most punctual of time-keeping trains with which this Ulysses happens
to be acquainted. When "S. T. H." attests that "_for courtesy and
attention to the oft-times exacting demands of passengers the company's
staff will compare not unfavourably with those of the Northern
railways_," I beg "to say ditto"; with the proviso, that, personally, I
am, in a general way, of Mrs. MALAPROP'S opinion, that "caparisons are
odorous." Sir, addressing you, _Mr. Punch_, as Universal Chairman of All
Railways, if I wanted to pick out a fine specimen of Railway Troops, I
would go to the London, Chat-with-'em and Dover for both "Guards" and
"Line."
Yours, AN INCONSTANT TRAVELLER.
P.S.--By the way, if names are for anything in the matter (and I object
to "calling names," though this _must_ be done at every station on the
line), then isn't the Brighton and S. C. the "Crawley" Line? I only ask.
* * * * *
EDUCATION NOT PRICE-LESS.--The _Methodist Times_ recently announced that
Mr. PRICE-HUGHES is about to publish an explanation of his suggestions
as to an "educational concordat." So the present form of the educational
question is, "'What Price' HUGHES?"
* * * * *
[Illustration: EGOMANIA.
SCENE--_The Bar Parlour of the "Little Peddlington Arms" during a
shower._
_Little Peddlingtonian_ (_handing newspaper to Stranger from London_).
"HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ACCOUNT OF OUR FISHING COMPETITION IN THE _LITTLE
PEDDLINGTON GAZETTE_, SIR?"
"NO. I'M AFRAID I'VE NOT!"
"IT'S A _VERY_ INTERESTING ARTICLE, SIR. IT MENTIONS MY NAME SEVERAL
TIMES!"]
* * * * *