SCARING A HAWK.
Jonas was thoroughly alarmed. He exaggerated the harm that Humphreys
might do to August, now that he knew where he was. August, on his part,
felt sure that Humphreys would not do anything against him; certainly
not in the way of legal proceedings. And as for the sale of Samuel
Anderson's farms, that did not disturb him. Like almost everybody else
at that time, August Wehle was strongly impressed by the assertions of
the Millerites, and if the world should be finished in the next month,
the farms were of no consequence. And if Millerism proved a delusion,
the loss of Samuel Anderson's property would only leave Julia on his
level, so far as worldly goods went. The happiness this last thought
brought him made him ashamed. Why should he rejoice in Mr. Anderson's
misfortune? Why should he wish to pull Julia down to him? But still the
thought remained a pleasant one.
Jonas would not have it so. He had his plan. He went home from the
Adventist meeting that very night with Cynthy Ann, and then stood
talking to her at the corner of the porch, feeling very sure that
Humphreys would listen from above. He heard his stealthy tread, after a
while, disturb a loose board on the upper porch. Then he began to talk
to Cynthy Ann in this strain:
"You see, I can't tell no secrets, Cynthy Ann, even to your Royal
Goodness, as I might say, seein' as how as you a'n't my wife, and a'n't
likely to be, if Brother Goshorn can have his way. But you're the Queen
of Hearts, anyhow. But s'pose I was to hint a secret?"
"Sh--sh--h-h-h!" said Cynthy Ann, partly because she felt a sinful
pleasure in the flattery, and partly because she felt sure that
Humphreys was above. But Jonas paid no attention to the caution.
"I'll give you a hint as strong as a Irishman's, which they do say'll
knock you down. Let's s'pose a case. They a'n't no harm in s'posin' a
case, you know. I've knowed boys who'd throw a rock at a fence-rail and
hit a stump, and then say, 'S'posin' they was a woodpecker on that air
stump, wouldn't I a keeled him over?' You can s'pose a case and make a
woodpecker wherever you want to. Well, s'posin' they was a inquisition
or somethin' of the kind from the guv'nor of the State of ole Kaintuck
to the guv'nor of the State of Injeanny? And s'posin' that the dokyment
got lodged in this 'ere identical county? And s'posin' it called fer the
body of one Thomas A. Parkins, a_li_as J.W. 'Umphreys? And s'posin' it
speecified as to sartain and sundry crimes committed in Paduky and all
along the shore, fer all I know? Now, s'posin' all of them air things,
what _would_ Clark township do to console itself when that toonful v'ice
and them air blazin' watch-seals had set in ignominy for ever and ever?
Selah! Good-night, and don't you breathe a word to a livin' soul, nur a
dead one, 'bout what I been a-sayin'. You'll know more by daylight
to-morry 'n you know now."
And the last part of the speech was true, for by midnight the Hawk had
fled. And the sale of the Anderson farm to Humphreys was never
completed. For three days the end of the world was forgotten in the
interest which Clark township felt in the flight of its favorite. And by
degrees the story of Norman's encounter with the gamblers and of
August's recovery of the money became spread abroad through the
confidential hints of Jonas. And by degrees another story became known;
it could not long be concealed. It was the story of Betsey Malcolm, who
averred that she had been privately married to Humphreys on the occasion
of a certain trip they had made to Kentucky together, to attend a "big
meeting." The story was probably true, but uncharitable gossips shook
their heads.
It was only a few evenings after the flight of Humphreys that Jonas had
another talk with Cynthy Ann, in which he confessed that all his
supposed case about a requisition from the governor of Kentucky for
Humphreys's arrest was pure fiction.
"But, Jonas, is--is that air right? I'm afeard it a'n't right to tell an
ontruth."
"So 'ta'n't; but I only s'posed a case, you know."
"But Brother Hall said last Sunday two weeks, that anything that gin a
false impression was--was lying. Now, I don't think you meant it, but
then I thought I orto speak to you about it."
"Well, maybe you're right. I see you last summer a-puttin' up a
skeercrow to keep the poor, hungry little birds of the air from gittin'
the peas that they needed to sustain life. An' I said, What a pity that
the best woman I ever seed should tell lies to the poor little birds
that can't defend theirselves from her wicked wiles! But I see that same
day a skeercrow, a mean, holler, high-percritical purtense of a ole hat
and coat, a-hanging in Brother Goshorn's garden down to the cross-roads.
An' I wondered ef it was your Methodis' trainin' that taught you
sech-like cheatin' of the little sparrys and blackbirds."
"Yes; but Jonas--" said Cynthy, bewildered.
"And I see a few days arterwards a Englishman with a humbug-fly onto his
line, a foolin' the poor, simple-hearted little fishes into swallerln' a
book that hadn't nary sign of a ginowine bait onto it. An' I says, says
I, What a deceitful thing the human heart is!"
"Why, Jonas, you'd make a preacher!" said Cynthy Ann, touched with the
fervor of his utterance, and inly resolved never to set up another
scarecrow.
"Not much, my dear. But then, you see, I make distinctions. Ef I was to
see a wolf a-goin' to eat a lamb, what would I do? Why, I'd skeer or
fool him with the very fust thing I could find. Wouldn' you, honey?"
"In course," said Cynthy Ann.
"And so, when I seed a wolf or a tiger or a painter, like that air
'Umphreys, about to gobble up fortins, and to do some harm to Gus,
maybe, I jest rigged up a skeercrow of words, like a ole hat and coat
stuck onto a stick, and run him off. Any harm done, my dear?"
"Well, no, Jonas; I ruther 'low not."
Whether Jonas's defense was good or not, I can not say, for I do not
know. But he is entitled to the benefit of it.