The winter sun was setting, and its fading light fell upon the golden
hair and white, beautiful face of Nellie, who lay upon the lounge in the
room where Walter's mother died, and which Jessie now called hers. She
was weaker than usual, and the hectic spot upon her cheek was larger and
brighter, while her eyes shone like diamonds as she looked wistfully in
the direction of the village, where the smoke of the New York train was
slowly dying away.
"Mother," she said at last, "isn't the omnibus coming over the hill?"
"Yes," Mrs. Howland answered. "Possibly it is Walter, though I did not
tell him in my last how weak you are, as you know you bade me not, lest
he should be unnecessarily alarmed."
Ellen knew it was not Walter, and the spot on her cheek was almost a
blood-red hue when she heard the dear familiar voice, and knew that
William had come.
"Mother," she said faintly, "it's Mr. Bellenger, and you must let me see
him alone,--all the evening alone;--will you? It's right," she
continued, as she met her mother's look of inquiry. "I'll explain it,
perhaps, when he's gone."
In an instant the truth flashed upon Mrs. Howland, bringing with it a
feeling of gratified pride that the elegant William Bellenger had
condescended to think of her child. She did not know the whole. She
could not guess how thoroughly selfish was the man who was deliberately
breaking her daughter's heart, or she would not have left them to
themselves that long winter evening, saying to her father and Aunt
Debby, when they questioned the propriety of the proceeding:
"He wants to tell her of Walter and Jessie, I suppose, and the fine
times they have in the city."
This satisfied Aunt Debby, but the deacon was not quite at ease, and
more than once after finishing his fourth pipe, he started to join them,
but was as often kept back by some well-timed remark addressed to him by
Mrs. Howland; and so William was left undisturbed while he poured again
into Ellen's ear the story of his love, telling her how inexpressibly
dear she was to him, and that but for circumstances which he could not
control, he would prove his assertion true by making her at once his
wife. Then the long eyelashes drooped beneath their weight of tears, for
there flitted across Ellen's mind a vague consciousness that if these
circumstances existed when he first talked to her of love, he had done
very wrong. Still she could not accuse him even in thought, and she
hastened to say:
"I don't know as I really ever supposed that you wished me to be your
wife; and if I did it don't matter now, for I am going to die; death has
a prior claim, and I never can be yours."
He held her hot hand in his,--felt the rapid pulse,--saw the deep color
on her cheek,--the unnatural luster of her eye,--and felt that she told
him truly. And thinking that anything which he could say to comfort and
please her would be right, he whispered:
"I hope there are many years in store for you. If I should take you to
Florida as my wife, do you think you would get well?"
She had said to him that it could not be,--that death would claim her
first, but now that he had asked her this, all the energies of life were
roused within her, and her whole face said yes, even before the answer
dropped from her pale lips.
"Oh, William, dear, are you in earnest? Can I go?" and raising herself
up, she wound her arms around his neck so that her head rested on his
bosom.
And William held it there, caressing the fair hair, while he battled
with all his better nature, and tried to think of some excuse,--some
good reason for retracting the proposition which had been received so
differently from what he expected. He thought of it at last, and laying
his burden gently back upon her pillow, he answered mournfully:
"Forgive me, darling. In my great love for you I spoke inadvertently. I
wish I were free to do what my heart dictates, but I am not. Listen,
Nellie, and then you shall decide. Perhaps you have never heard that
Jessie and I were long ago intended for each other by our parents?"
William's voice trembled as he uttered this falsehood, but not one-half
as much as did the young girl on the lounge.
"No," she answered faintly; "Jessie never told me."
"Some girls are not inclined to talk of those they love," said William,
and fixing her clear blue eyes on him, Ellen asked:
"Does Jessie love you, William?"
"And suppose she does?" he replied; "suppose she had always been taught
to look upon me as her future husband? Suppose that even when I first
came here there was an understanding that, unless Jessie should prefer
some one else, we were to be married when she was eighteen, and suppose
that since we have been so much together as we have this winter, Jessie
had learned to love me very much, and that my marrying another now would
break her heart, what would you have me do? I know you must think it
wrong in me to talk of love to you, knowing what I did, but struggle as
I would, I could not help it. You are my ideal of a wife. I love you
better than I do Jessie,--better than I do any one, and you shall decide
the matter. I will leave Jessie, offend her father, and incur the
lasting displeasure of my own family, if you say so. Think a moment,
darling, and then tell me what to do."
Had he held a knife at her heart, and a pistol at her head, bidding her
take her choice between the two, he could scarcely have pained her more.
Folding her hands together, she lay so still that it seemed almost like
the stillness of death, and William once bent down to see if she were
sleeping. But the large blue eyes turned toward him, and a faint whisper
met his ear:
"Don't disturb me. I am thinking," and as she thought the cold
perspiration stood in the palms of her hands and about her mouth, for it
was like tearing out her very life, deciding to give William up, and
bidding him marry another, even though she knew she could never be his
wife.
Jessie Graham was very dear to the poor invalid, as the first and almost
only girl friend she had ever known. Jessie had been kind to her, while
Mr. Graham had been most kind to them all. Jessie would make William a
far more suitable wife than she could. His proud relatives would scoff
at her, and perhaps if she should live and marry him he might some day
be sorry that he did not take the more brilliant Jessie. But was there
any probability that she could live? She wished she knew, and she said
to William:
"Do people always get well if they go to Florida?"
"Sometimes, darling, if the disease is not too far advanced," was the
answer, and Ellen went back to her reflections.
Her disease was too far advanced, she feared, and if she could not live,
why should she wish to trammel William for so short a time, even if
there were no Jessie, and would it not be better to give him up at once?
Yes, it would, she said, and just as William began a second time to
think she had fallen away to sleep she beckoned him to come near, and in
a voice which sounded like the wail of a broken heart, she whispered:
"I have decided, William. You must marry Jessie,--but not till I am
dead. You'll love poor me till then, won't you?" and burying her face in
his bosom, she sobbed bitterly. He kissed her tears away; he told her he
would not marry Jessie, that she alone should be his wife; and when she
answered that it must not be, that at the longest she could live but a
short time, he felt in his villainous, selfish heart that he was glad
she was so sensible. He had told her no lie, he thought. He had merely
supposed a case, and she, taking it for granted, had deliberately given
him up. He could not help himself, for had she not virtually refused
him?
By such arguments as these did the wicked man seek to quiet his guilty
conscience, but when he saw how much it had cost the young girl to say
what she had said, he was half tempted to undeceive her, to tell her it
was all false, that story of himself and Jessie,--but gold was dearer to
him than aught else on earth, and so he did not do it. He merely told
her that so long as she lived he should love her the best, but advised
her not to talk with Jessie on the subject, as it would only make them
both unhappy.
"You may tell your mother that I love you, but I would say nothing of
Jessie, who might not like to have the matter talked about, as it is not
positively settled yet, at least not enough to proclaim it to the
world."
Like a submissive child, Ellen promised compliance with all his wishes,
and as the deacon by this time had declared "there was no sense in them
two staying in there any longer," he appeared in the door, and thus put
an end to the conversation.
All the next day William stayed, improving every opportunity to whisper
to Ellen of his love, but the words were almost meaningless to her now.
She knew that she loved him; she believed that he loved her, but there
was a barrier between them, and when at night he left her, she was so
strangely calm that he felt a pang lest he might have lost a little of
her love, which, in spite of his selfishness, was very dear to him.
After he was gone, Ellen told her mother of their mutual love, which
never could be consummated, because she must die; but she said nothing
of Jessie, and the deluded woman, gazing on her beautiful daughter,
prayed that she might live, and so one day grace the halls of the proud
Bellengers. After this there often came to the farm-house dainty
luxuries for the invalid, and though there was no name, Ellen knew who
sent them, and smiling into her mother's face would say:
"Isn't he good to me?"
At last the stormy March had come, and one night a lady stood at the
farm-house door, asking if Deacon Marshall lived there.
"I have no claim upon your hospitality," she said, "but a mother has a
right to visit her daughter's grave and the home where her daughter
died."
It was Mrs. Bellenger, but so changed from the haughty woman who years
ago had been there, that the family could scarcely believe it was the
same. It is true they had heard from Walter of his grandmother's
kindness, and how the effect of that kindness was already beginning to
be apparent in the treatment he received from those who before had
scarcely noticed him, but they could not understand it until they saw
the lady in their midst, affable and friendly to them all, but
especially to poor sick Nellie, to whom she attached herself at once.
Very rapidly each grew to liking the other. Mrs. Bellenger, because the
gentle invalid bore her daughter's name; and Nellie, because the lady
was William's grandmother, and sometimes spoke of him. For many days
Mrs. Bellenger lingered, for there was something very soothing in the
quiet of the farm-house, and very attractive about the sick girl, who
once as they sat together alone, opened her whole heart and told the
story of her love.
"It surely is not wrong for me to confide in you," she said, "and I must
talk of it to somebody."
Mrs. Bellenger had heretofore distrusted William, but the fact that he
had won the love of so pure a being as Ellen Howland changed her
feelings toward him, and when the latter said, "He spoke of taking me to
Florida," she thought at once that her money should pay the bills, and
that she too would go and help her grandson nurse the beautiful young
girl back to life and strength. This last she said to Ellen, who
answered mournfully:
"It cannot be, for I have given him up to Jessie, whose claim was better
than mine," and then she repeated all that William had said to her.
"It doesn't matter," she continued. "I can't live very long, and Jessie
has been so kind to me that I want to give her something, and William is
the most precious thing I have.
"It hurt me to give him up. But it is best, even if there were no Jessie
Graham. His parents are not like you; they might teach him in time to
despise me, and I'd rather die now."
Mrs. Bellenger turned away to hide her tears, and could William have
seen what was in her heart,--could he have known how easily Ellen's
wasted hand could unlock her coffers and give him the money he craved,
the proud house of Bellenger would have mourned over a second
_mesalliance_.
For nearly two weeks Mrs. Bellenger remained in Deerwood, and then,
promising to come again ere long, returned to the city, where rumor was
already busy with the marriage which the world said was soon to take
place between William Bellenger and the beautiful Miss Graham.