ALL THE LITTLE BOYS ARE LET LOOSE, AND THE DOMINIE IS CAUGHT--ANXIOUS TO
SUPPLY MY TEETH, HE FALLS IN WITH OTHER TEETH, AND MRS. BATELY ALSO
SHOWS HER TEETH--GIN OUTSIDE, GIN IN, AND GIN OUT AGAIN, AND OLD WOMAN
OUT ALSO--DOMINIE IN FOR IT AGAIN--MORE LIKE A WHIG MINISTRY THAN A
NOVEL.
I found the worthy old Dominie in the school-room, seated at his
elevated desk, the usher not present, and the boys making a din enough
to have awaked a person from a trance. That he was in one of his deep
reveries, and that the boys had taken advantage of it, was evident.
"Mr Dobbs," said I, walking close up to the desk, but the Dominie
answered not. I repeated his name in a louder voice.
"Cosine of _X plus AB minus Z minus a half_; such must be the result,"
said the Dominie talking to himself. "Yet it doth not prove correct. I
may be in error. Let me revise my work," and the Dominie lifted up his
desk to take out another piece of paper. When the desk lid was raised,
I removed his work and held it behind me.
"But how is this?" exclaimed the Dominie, and he looked everywhere for
his previous calculations. "Nay," continued he, "it must have been the
wind;" and then he cast his eyes about until they fixed upon me laughing
at him. "Eheu! what do my eyes perceive?--It is--yet it is not--yes,
most truly it is, my son Jacob. Welcome, most welcome," cried the old
man, descending from his desk, and clasping me in his arms. "Long is it
since I have seen thee, my son, _Interea magnum sol circumvolvitur
annum_. Long, yes long, have I yearned for thy return, fearful lest,
_nudus ignota arena_, thou mightest, like another Palinurus, have been
cast away. Thou art returned, and all is well; as the father said in
the Scripture: I have found my son which I had lost; but no prodigal
thou, though I use the quotation as apt. Now all is well; thou hast
escaped the danger of the battle, the fire, and the wreck, and now thou
mayest hang up thy wet garment as a votive offering; as Horace hath it,
_Uvida suspendisse potenti vestimenta maris Deo_."
During the apostrophe of the Dominie, the boys perceiving that he was no
longer wrapped up in his algebra, had partly settled to their desks, and
in their apparent attention to their lessons reminded me of the humming
of bees before a hive on a summer's day.
"Boys," cried the Dominie, "_nunc est ludendum_; verily ye shall have a
holiday; put up your books, and depart in peace."
The books were hastily put up, in obedience to the command; the depart
in peace was not so rigidly adhered to--they gave a loud shout, and in a
few seconds the Dominie and I stood alone in the school-room.
"Come, Jacob, let us adjourn to my sanctum; there may we commune without
interruption. Thou shalt tell me thine adventures, and I will
communicate to thee what hath been made known to me relative to those
with whom thou wert acquainted."
"First let me beg you to give me something to eat, for I am not a little
hungry," interrupted I, as we gained the kitchen.
"Verily shalt thou have all that we possess, Jacob; yet now, I think,
that will not be much, seeing that I and our worthy matron did pick the
bones of a shoulder of mutton, this having been our fourth day of repast
upon it. She is out, yet I will venture to intrude into the privacy of
her cupboard, for thy sake. Peradventure she may be wroth, yet will I
risk her displeasure." So saying, the old Dominie opened the cupboard,
and, one by one, handed to me the dishes with their contents. "Here
Jacob are two hard dumplings from yesterday. Canst thou relish cold,
hard, dumplings?--but, stop, here is something more savoury--half of a
cold cabbage, which was left this day. We will look again. Here is
meat--yes, it is meat; but now do I perceive it is a piece of lights
reserved for the dinner of the cat to-morrow. I am fearful that we must
not venture upon that, for the dame will be wroth."
"Pray put it back, sir; I would not interfere with puss on any account."
"Nay, then, Jacob, I see naught else, unless there may be viands on the
upper shelf. Sir, here is bread, the staff of life, and also a fragment
of cheese; and now, methinks, I discern something dark at the back of
the shelf." The Dominie extended his hand, and immediately withdrew it,
jumping from his chair, with a loud cry. He had put his fingers into a
rat gin, set by the old woman for those intruders, and he held up his
arm and stamped as he shouted out with the pain. I hastened to him, and
pressing down the spring, released his fingers from the teeth, which,
however, had drawn blood, as well as bruised him; fortunately, like most
of the articles of their menage, the trap was a very old one, and he was
not much hurt. The Dominie thrust his fingers into his capacious mouth,
and held them there some time without speaking. He began to feel a
little ease, when in came the matron.
"Why, what's all this!" said she, in a querulous tone. "Jacob here, and
all my cupboard on the table. Jacob, how dare you go to my cupboard?"
"It was the Dominie, Mrs Bately, who looked there for something for me
to eat, and he has been caught in a rat-trap."
"Serve him right; I have forbade him that cupboard. Have I not, Mr
Dobbs?"
"Yea, and verily," quoth the Dominie, "and I do repent me that I took
not thine advice, for look at my fingers;" and the Dominie extended his
lacerated digits.
"Dear me! well I'd no idea that a rat-trap pinched so hard," replied the
old woman, whose wrath was appeased. "How it must hurt the poor
things--I won't set it again, but leave them all to the cat; he'll kill
them, if he only can get at them." The old lady went to a drawer,
unlocked it, brought out some fragments of rags, and a bottle of friar's
balsam, which she applied to the Dominie's hand, and then bound it up,
scolding him the whole time. "How stupid of you, Mr Dobbs; you know
that I was only out for a few minutes. Why didn't you wait--and why did
you go to the cupboard? Hav'n't I always told you not to look into it?
and now you see the consequences."
"Verily my hand burneth," replied the Dominie.
"I will go for cold water, and it will ease you. What a deal of trouble
you do give, Mr Dobbs; you're worse than a charity boy;" and the old
lady departed to the pump.
"Vinegar is a better thing, sir," said I, "and there is a bottle in the
cupboard, which I dare say is vinegar." I went to the cupboard, and
brought out the bottle, took out the cork and smelt it. "This is not
vinegar, sir, it is Hollands or gin."
"Then would I like a glass, Jacob, for I feel a sickening faintness upon
me; yet be quick, peradventure the old woman may return."
"Drink out of the bottle, sir," said I, perceiving that the Dominie
looked very pale, "and I will give you notice of her approach." The
Dominie put the bottle to his mouth, and was taking a sufficient
draught, when the old woman returned by another door which was behind
us; she had gone that way for a wash-basin. Before we could perceive
her, she came behind the Dominie, snatched the bottle from his mouth
with a jerk that threw a portion of the spirits in his eyes, and blinded
him.
"That's why you went to my cupboard, is it, Mr Dobbs?" cried she, in a
passion. "That's it, is it? I thought my bottle went very fast; seeing
that I don't take more than a tea-spoonful every night, for the wind
which vexes me so much. I'll set the rat-trap again, you may depend
upon it; and now you may get somebody else to bind your fingers."
"It was I who took it out, Mrs Bately; the Dominie would have fainted
with pain. It was very lucky that he has a housekeeper who is careful
to have something of the kind in the house, or he might have been dead.
You surely don't begrudge a little of your medicine to recover Mr
Dobbs?"
"Peace, woman, peace," said the Dominie, who had gained courage by his
potation. "Peace, I say; I knew not that thou hadst in thy cupboard
either a gin for my hand, or gin for my mouth; since I have been taken
in the one, it is but fair that I should take in the other. In future
both thy gins will not be interfered with by me. Bring me the basin,
that I may appease my angry wounds, and then hasten to procure some
viands to appease the hunger of my son Jacob; lastly, appease thine own
wrath. _Pax_. Peace, I say;" and the old woman, who perceived that the
Dominie had asserted his right of dominion, went to obey his orders,
grumbling till she was out of hearing. The application of the cold
pump-water soon relieved the pain of the good old Dominie, and with his
hand remaining in the basin, we commenced a long conversation.
At first I narrated to him the events which had occurred during my
service on board of the frigate. When I told him of my parting with
Tom, he observed, "Verily do I remember that young Tom, a jocund,
pleasant, yet intrusive lad. Yet do I wish him well, and am grieved
that he should be so taken by that maiden Mary. Well may we say of her,
as Horace hath of Pyrrha--`_Quis multa gracilis te puer in rosa,
perfusis liquidis urgit odoribus, grate, Pyrrha, sub antro. Cui flavam
religas comam, simplex munditiis_.' I grieve at it, yea, grieve much.
_Heu, quoties fidem mutatosque Deos flebit_! Verily, Jacob, I do
prophesy that she will lead him into error, yea, perhaps into
perdition."
"I trust not, sir," replied I; but the Dominie made no answer. For
half-an-hour he was in deep and serious thought, during which Mrs
Bately entered, and spreading a cloth, brought in from the other room
some rashers of bacon and eggs, upon which I made a hasty and hearty
meal. The old matron's temper was now smoothed, and she welcomed me
kindly, and shortly after went out for a fresh basin of cold water for
the Dominie to bathe his hand. This roused him, and he recommenced the
conversation.
"Jacob, I have not yet congratulated thee upon thy accession to wealth;
not that I do not sincerely rejoice in it, but because the pleasure of
thy presence has made me unmindful of it. Still, was it fortunate for
thee that thou hadst raised up such a friend as Mr Turnbull; otherwise
what would have been the result of thy boasted independence? Thou
wouldst probably have remained many years on board of a man-of-war, and
have been killed, or have returned mutilated, to die unknown."
"You were right, sir," replied I; "my independence was nothing but
pride; and I did bitterly repent, as you said I should do, even before I
was pressed into the king's service--but Mr Drummond never repeated his
offers."
"He never did, Jacob; but as I have since been informed by him, although
he was taken by surprise at thy being forced away to serve thy country,
still he was not sure that you would accept them; and he, moreover,
wished you fully to feel thine own folly. Long before you had made
friends with him, he had attested the will of Mr Turnbull, and was
acquainted with the contents. Yet, did he watch over thee, and had he
thought that thy way of life had led thee into that which was wrong, he
would have interfered to save thee; but he considered with Shakespeare
that `sweet were the uses of adversity,' and that thou wouldst be more
schooled by remaining some time under her unprepossessing frowns. He
hath ever been thy friend."
"I can believe it. I trust he is well, and his family."
"They were well and prosperous, but a little while ago, Jacob; yet I
have seen but little of them since the death of Mr Turnbull. It will
pain thee to hear that affliction at thy absence hastened his
dissolution. I was at his death-bed, Jacob; and I verily believe he was
a good man, and will meet the reward of one; yet did he talk most
strangely, and reminded me of that remnant of a man you call old Tom.
`It's no use, old gentleman,' said he, as he lay in his bed supported by
pillows, for he had wasted away till he was but a skeleton, having
broken a blood-vessel with his violent coughing--`It's no use pouring
that doctor's stuff down my throat; my anchor's short stay a-peak, and
in a few minutes I shall trip it, I trust for heaven, where I hope there
are moorings laid down for me.' `I would fain comprehend thee,' replied
I, `but thou speakest in parables.' `I mean to say that death has
driven his harpoon in up to the shank, and that I struggle in vain. I
have run out all my line. I shall turn up in a few minutes--so give my
love and blessing to Jacob--he saved my life once--but now I'm gone.'
With these last words his spirit took its flight; and thus, Jacob, did
your benefactor breathe his last, invoking a blessing on your head."
I remained silent for a few minutes, for I was much affected by the
Dominie's description; he at length resumed the conversation.
"Thou hast not yet seen the Drummonds, Jacob?"
"I have not," I replied, "but I will call upon them tomorrow; but it is
time that I should go, for I have to return to London."
"Thou needst not, Jacob. Thine own house is at hand."
"My own house!"
"Yes; by the will of Mr Turnbull, his wife has been left a handsome
jointure, but, for reasons which he did not explain, the house and
furniture are not left to her, but, as residuary legatee, belong to
thee."
"Indeed!--then where is Mrs Turnbull?"
"At Bath, where she hath taken up her residence. Mr Drummond, who hath
acted in thy behalf, permitted her to take away such articles as she
might wish, but they were but few, chiefly those little objects which
filled up rather than adorned the drawing-room. The house is all ready
for thy reception, and thou mayst take possession this evening."
"But why did not Mr Turnbull leave it to his widow?"
"I cannot exactly say, but I think he did not wish her to remain in this
place. He, therefore, left her 5000 pounds at her own disposal, to
enable her to purchase and furnish another."
I then took my leave of the Dominie, and it being rather late, I
resolved to walk to the house and sleep there.