COLD WATER AND REPENTANCE--THE TWO TOMS ALMOST MORAL, AND MYSELF FULL OF
WISE REFLECTIONS--THE CHAPTER, BEING FULL OF GRAVE SAWS, IS LUCKILY VERY
SHORT; AND THOUGH A VERY SENSIBLE ONE, I WOULD NOT ADVISE IT TO BE
SKIPPED.
About half-past eight the next morning, I was called up by Tom to assist
in getting the lighter under weigh. When on deck I found old Tom as
fresh as if he had not drunk a drop the night before, very busily
stumping about the windlass, with which we hove up first the anchor, and
then the mast. "Well, Jacob, my boy, had sleep enough? Not too much, I
dare say; but a bout like last night don't come often, Jacob--only once
in a way; now, and then I do believe it's good for my health. It's a
great comfort to me, my lad, to have you on board with me, because as
you never drinks, I may now indulge a _little_ oftener. As for Tom, I
can't trust him--too much like his father--had nobody to trust to for
the look-out, except the dog Tommy, till you came with us. I can trust
Tommy as far as keeping off the river sharks; he'll never let them take
a rope-yarn off the deck, night or day; but a dog's but a dog, after
all. Now we're brought to; so clap on, my boy, and let's heave up with
a will."
"How's the old gentleman, father?" said Tom, as we paused a moment from
our labour at the windlass.
"Oh! he's got a good deal more to sleep off yet. There he lies, flat on
his back, blowing as hard as a grampus. Better leave him as long as we
can. We'll rouse him as soon as we turn Greenwich reach. Tom, didn't
you think his nose loomed devilish large yesterday?"
"Never seed such a devil of a cutwater in my life, father."
"Well, then, you'll see a larger when he gets up, for it's swelled
bigger than the brandy bottle. Heave and haul! Now bring to the fall,
and up with the mast, boys, while I goes aft and takes the helm."
Old Tom went aft. During the night the wind had veered to the north,
and the frost had set in sharp, the rime covered the deck of the barge,
and here and there floating ice was to be seen coming down with the
tide. The banks of the river and fields adjacent were white with hoar
frost, and would have presented but a cheerless aspect, had not the sun
shone out clear and bright. Tom went aft to light the fire, while I
coiled away and made all snug forward. Old Tom as usual carolled
forth--
"Oh! for a soft and gentle wind,
I heard a fair one cry
But give to me the roaring breeze,
And white waves beating high,
And white waves beating high, my boys,
The good ship tight and free,
The world of waters is our own,
And merry men are we."
"A nice morning this for cooling a hot head, that's sartain. Tommy, you
rascal, you're like a court lady, with her velvet _gownd_, covered all
over with diamonds," continued old Tom, looking at the Newfoundland dog,
whose glossy black hair was besprinkled with little icicles, which
glittered in the sun.
"You and Jacob were the only sensible ones of the party last night, for
you both were sober."
"So was I, father. I was as sober as a judge," observed Tom, who was
blowing up the fire.
"May be, Tom, as a judge a'ter dinner; but a judge on the bench be one
thing, and a judge over a bottle be another, and not bad judges in that
way either. At all events, if you warn't _sewed up_, it wasn't your
fault."
"And I suppose," replied Tom, "it was only your misfortune that you
were."
"No, I don't say that; but still, when I look at the dog, who's but a
beast by nature, and thinks of myself, who wasn't meant to be a beast,
why, I blushes, that's all."
"Jacob, look at father--now, does he blush?" cried Tom.
"I can't say that I perceive it," replied I, smiling.
"Well, then, if I don't it's the fault of my having no legs. I'm sure
when they were knocked off I lost half the blood in my body, and that's
the reason, I suppose. At all events, I meant to blush, so we'll take
the will for the deed."
"But do you mean to keep sober in future, father?" said Tom.
"Never do you mind that--mind your own business, Mr Tom. At all
events, I sha'n't get tipsy till next time, and that's all I can say
with safety, 'cause, d'ye see, I knows my failing. Jacob, did you ever
see that old gentleman sail too close to the wind before?"
"I never did--I do not think that he was ever tipsy before last night."
"Then I pities him--his headache, and his repentance. Moreover, there
be his nose and the swallow-tail of his coat to make him unhappy. We
shall be down abreast of the Hospital in half-an-hour. Suppose you go
and give him a shake, Jacob. Not you, Tom; I won't trust you--you'll be
doing him a mischief; you haven't got no fellow-feeling, not even for
dumb brutes."
"I'll thank you not to take away my character that way, father," replied
Tom. "Didn't I put you to bed last night when you were speechless?"
"Suppose you did--what then?"
"Why, then, I had a feeling for a dumb brute. I only say that, father,
for the joke of it, you know," continued Tom, going up to his father and
patting his rough cheek.
"I know that, my boy; you never were unkind, that's sartain; but you
must have your joke--
"Merry thoughts are link'd with laughter,
Why should we bury them?
Sighs and tears may come hereafter,
No need to hurry them.
They who through a spying-glass,
View the minutes as they pass,
Make the sun a gloomy mass,
But the fault's their own, Tom."
In the meantime I was vainly attempting to rouse the Dominie. After
many fruitless attempts, I put a large quantity off snuff on his upper
lip, and then blew it up his nose. But, merciful powers! what a nose it
had become--larger than the largest pear that I ever saw in my life.
The whole weight of old Tom had fallen on it, and instead of being
crushed by the blow, it appeared as if, on the contrary, it had swelled
up, indignant at the injury and affront which it had received. The skin
was as tight as the parchment of a drum, and shining as if it had been
oiled, while the colour was a bright purple. Verily, it was the
Dominie's nose in a rage.
The snuff had the effect of partially awakening him from his lethargy.
"Six o'clock--did you say, Mrs Bately? Are the boys washed--and in the
schoolroom? I will rise speedily--yet I am overcome with much
heaviness. _Delapsus somnus_ ab--" and the Dominie snored again. I
renewed my attempts, and gradually succeeded. The Dominie opened his
eyes, stared at the deck and carlines above him, then at the cupboard by
his side; lastly, he looked at and recognised me.
"_Eheu, Jacobe_!--where am I? And what is that which presses upon my
brain? What is it so loadeth my cerebellum, even as if it were lead?
My memory--where is it? Let me recall my scattered senses." Here the
Dominie was silent for some time. "Ah me! yea, and verily, I do
recollect--with pain of head and more pain of heart--that which I would
fain forget, which is, that I did forget myself; and indeed have
forgotten all that passed the latter portion of the night. Friend Dux
hath proved no friend, but hath led me into the wrong path: and as or
the potation called _Grog--Eheu, Jacobe_! how have I fallen--fallen in
my own opinion--fallen in thine--how can I look thee in the face! O,
Jacob! what must thou think of him who hath hitherto been thy preceptor
and thy guide!" Here the Dominie fell back on the pillow, and turned
away his head.
"It is not your fault, sir," replied I, to comfort him; "you were not
aware of what you were drinking--you did not know that the liquor was so
strong. Old Tom deceived you."
"Nay, Jacob, I cannot lay that flattering unction to my wounded heart.
I ought to have known, nay, now I recall to mind, that thou wouldst have
warned me--even to the pulling off of the tail of my coat--yet I heeded
thee not, and I am humbled--even I, the master over seventy boys!"
"Nay, sir, it was not I who pulled off the tail of your coat; it was the
dog."
"Jacob, I have heard of the wonderful sagacity of the canine species,
yet could not I ever have believed that a dumb brute would have
perceived my folly, and warned me from intoxication. _Mirabile dictu_!
Tell me, Jacob, thou who hast profited by these lessons which thy master
could give--although he could not follow up his precept by example--tell
me, what did take place? Let me know the full extent of my
backsliding."
"You fell asleep, sir, and we put you to bed."
"Who did me that office, Jacob?"
"Young Tom and I, sir; as for old Tom, he was not in a state to help
anybody."
"I am humbled, Jacob--"
"Nonsense, old gentleman; why make a fuss about nothing?" said old Tom,
who, overhearing our conversation came into the cabin. "You had a
_drop_ too much, that's all, and what o' that? It's a poor heart that
never rejoiceth. Rouse a bit, wash your face with old Thames water, and
in half-an-hour you'll be as fresh as a daisy."
"My head acheth!" exclaimed the Dominie, "even as if there were a ball
of lead rolling from one temple to the other; but my punishment is
just."
"That is the punishment of making too free with the bottle, for sartain;
but if it is an offence, then it carries its own punishment and that's
quite sufficient. Every man knows that when the heart's over light at
night, that the head's over heavy in the morning. I have known and
proved it a thousand times. Well, what then? I puts the good against
the bad, and I takes my punishment like a man."
"Friend Dux, for so I will still call thee, thou lookest not at the
offence in a moral point of vision."
"What's moral?" replied old Tom.
"I would point out that intoxication is sinful."
"Intoxication sinful! I suppose that means that it's a sin to get
drunk. Now, master, it's my opinion that as God Almighty has given us
good liquor, it was for no other purpose than to drink it; and therefore
it would be ungrateful to him, and a sin, not to get drunk--that is,
with discretion."
"How canst thou reconcile getting drunk with discretion, good Dux?"
"I mean, master, when there's work to be done, the work should be done;
but when there's plenty of time, and everything is safe, and all ready
for a start the next morning, I can see no possible objection to a
jollification. Come, master, rouse out; the lighter's abreast of the
Hospital almost by this time, and we must put you on shore."
The Dominie, whose clothes were all on, turned out of his bed-place and
went with us on deck. Young Tom, who was at the helm, as soon as we
made our appearance, wished him a good-morning very respectfully.
Indeed, I always observed that Tom, with all his impudence and waggery,
had a great deal of consideration and kindness. He had overheard the
Dominie's conversation with me, and would not further wound his feelings
with a jest. Old Tom resumed his place at the helm, while his son
prepared the breakfast, and I drew a bucket of water for the Dominie to
wash his face and hands. Of his nose not a word was said; and the
Dominie made no remarks to me on the subject, although I am persuaded it
must have been very painful, from the comfort he appeared to derive in
bathing it with the freezing water. A bowl of tea was a great solace to
him, and he had hardly finished it when the lighter was abreast the
Hospital stairs. Tom jumped into the boat and hauled it alongside. I
took the other oar, and the Dominie, shaking hands with old Tom, said,
"Thou didst mean kindly, and therefore I wish thee a kind farewell, good
Dux."
"God be with you, master," replied old Tom; "shall we call for you as we
come back?"
"Nay, nay," replied the Dominie, "the travelling by land is more
expensive, but less dangerous. I thank thee for thy songs, and--for all
thy kindness, good Dux. Are my paraphernalia in the boat, Jacob?"
I replied in the affirmative. The Dominie stepped in, and we pulled him
on shore. He landed, took his bundle and umbrella under his arm, shook
hands with Tom and then with me, without speaking, and I perceived the
tears start in his eyes as he turned and walked away.
"Well, now," said Tom, looking after the Dominie, "I wish I had been
drunk instead of he. He does so take it to heart, poor old gentleman!"
"He has lost his self-esteem, Tom," replied I. "It should be a warning
to you. Come, get your oar to pass."
"Well, some people he fashioned one way and some another. I've been
tipsy more than once, and I never lost anything but my reason, and that
came back as soon as the grog left my head. I can't understand that
fretting about having had a glass too much. I only frets when I can't
get enough. Well, of all the noses I ever saw, his bests them by
chalks; I did so want to laugh at it, but I knew it would pain him."
"It is very kind of you, Tom, to hold your tongue, and I thank you very
much."
"And yet that old dad of mine swears I've got no fellow-feeling, which I
consider a very undutiful thing for him to say. What's the reason,
Jacob, that sons be always cleverer than their fathers?"
"I didn't know that was the case, Tom."
"But it is so _now_, if it wasn't in _olden time_. The proverb says,
`Young people _think_ old people to be fools, but old people _know_
young people to be fools.' We must alter that, for I says, `Old people
_think_ young people to be fools, but young people _know_ old people to
be fools.'"
"Have it your own way, Tom, that will do, rowed of all."
We tossed in our oars, made the boat fast, and gained the deck, where
old Tom still remained at the helm. "Well," said he, "Jacob, I never
thought I should be glad to see the old gentleman clear of the lighter,
but I was--devilish glad; he was like a load on my conscience this
morning; he was trusted to my charge by Mr Drummond, and I had no right
to persuade him to make a fool of himself. But, however, what's done
can't be helped, as you say sometimes; and it's no use crying; still it
was a pity, for he be, for all the world, like a child. There's a fancy
kind of lass in that wherry, crossing _our_ bows; look at the streamers
from her top-gallant.
"Come o'er the sea,
Maiden, to me,
Mine through sunshine, storm, and snows,
Seasons may roll,
But the true soul
Burns the same wherever it goes
Then come o'er the sea,
Maiden, with me."
"See you hanged first, you underpinned old hulk!" replied the female in
the boat, which was then close under our bows.
"Well, that be civil, for certain," said old Tom, laughing.