_A Glib Person, in a tall hat_ (_as he picks his way up and down
the benches, the occupants of which treat him with tolerant
indifference_). I'm not a bookmaker, ladies and gentlemen; don't have
that impression of me for a moment! I'm simply an amateur, and an
independent gentleman o' means, like any of yourselves. You all know
more than _I_ do. I don't come 'ere with any intention o' winning your
money--far from it. I'm wishful to settle and live among you. I may
eventually put up as your member; and, if so, when I take my place
in Parliament I shall be in a position to testify that the Baymouth
people are extremely cautious as to the manner in which they invest
their money on 'orse-racin'! Yes, I'm 'ere on beyarf of the Sporting
League, just to prove how free a meeting like this is from the evils
o' gambling. I don't come 'ere to _rob_ yer. I want yer all to win.
I like to see yer bright and shining faces around me; I like the
friverolity and reckereation and the conviverality of the thing,
that's all. I'll tell yer how it is. I've a rich ole aunt, and she
puts fifty pound into my 'ands, and sez, "Jacky," she sez, "I love
those dear Baymouth people, and I want you to take this 'ere money and
lay it out among 'em in moieties, and make 'em rich and 'appy." You
can see for yourselves. I've no tickets and no parryfernalia, excep'
this little pocket-book, where I enter any bets you honour me
with. Come, Miss, win a pair o' those three-and-sixpenny gloves at
CHICKERELL'S, the ex-Mayor's, to oblige _me!_ Did I tread on your
corn, Sir? I assure you it was the last thing I intended.... "You
knew I'd do it afore I'd done?" ... Well, Sir, if you've sech a gift
o' seeing into futoority as that, why not make something out of it
now? Three to one bar one. _Kitty_ _I_'m barring. Thank _you_,
Sir; 'alf-a-crown to seven and six on _Sportsman_. I tell you
candidly--you've got the winner. The favourite won't win. Now, then,
all you others, where's your Baymouth pluck? I orfered you thirty to
one _Beeswing_ last race; and you wouldn't take it. And _Beeswing_
won, and you lost the chance o' making yer fortunes. Don't blame _me_
if the same thing 'appens again. I'm on'y bettin', as I told you, for
my own amusement, and to get rid o' the money! (_&c., &c._)
[Illustration: "Why the blazes don't ye take it?"]
_Mr. Sam Satchell_ (_whom the apathy of the public has apparently
reduced to a state of defiant buffoonery_). Even money _Daredevil_,
you rascals! And why the blazes don't ye take it? Come on. I'll take
two little bits o' twos that _Kitty_ don't win! Four to one against
ole bread-and-butter _Tommy_, over there in the corner! Eleven and
a 'alf to three quarters to two against _Kitty_. "What har the Wild
Waves say-hay-ing?" Two _Kitties_ to three _Daredevils_ against a
bloomin' goat-chaise! On the Baymouth Durby I'm bettin'!