SIR,--In your unfortunate correspondence with me you have always shown
yourself better at rudeness than repartee. Did you not learn at school
the weakness of the _tu quoque_ line of argument? You speak of your
study window being near my field. The name "study" suggests literary
efforts. Is it in your case merely a room devoted to the penning of
senseless and impertinent letters to unoffending neighbours, who have
something better to do than waste their time reading and answering
them? I hope this letter will be the last one I shall find it
necessary to write to you.
_Re_ your postscript. Try prussic acid, but pray do not confine it to
the toilets of your carrots. A few drops on the tongue would, I am
sure, make you take a less distorted view of things, and you would
cease to worry over such trifles as the braying of a harmless animal.
Faithfully yours,
FREDERICK PETHERTON.
Of course I simply had to reply to this, but made no reference to
the _tu quoque_ question. He had evidently failed to grasp, or had
ignored, the rather obvious suggestion in the last few words of my
first letter on the subject. I wrote:--
MY DEAR CHAP,--Thanks so much for your prompt reply and valuable
information about prussic acid. There was, however, one omission in
the prescription. You didn't say on whose tongue the acid should be
placed. If you meant on the donkey's it seems an excellent idea. I'll
try it, so excuse more now, as the chemist's will be closed in a few
minutes.
Yours in haste,
HARRY F.