Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean,
And so between them both
They licked the platter clean.
Jack ate all the lean,
Joan ate all the fat,
The bone they both picked clean,
Then gave it to the cat.
When Jack Sprat was young,
He dressed very smart,
He courted Joan Cole,
And soon gained her heart;
In his fine leather doublet
And old greasy hat,
Oh! what a smart fellow
Was little Jack Sprat.
Joan Cole had a hole
In her petticoat,
Jack Sprat, to get a patch,
Gave her a groat.
The groat bought a patch
Which stopped the hole,
"I thank you, Jack Sprat,"
Says little Joan Cole.
Jack Sprat was the bridegroom,
Joan Cole was the bride,
Jack said from the church
His Joan home should ride.
But no coach could take her,
The road was so narrow;
Said Jack, "Then I'll take her
Home in a wheelbarrow."
Jack Sprat was wheeling
His wife by a ditch,
Then the barrow turned over,
And in she did pitch.
Says Jack, "She'll be drown'd!"
But Joan did reply,
"I don't think I shall,
For the ditch is quite dry."
Jack brought home his Joan,
And she sat in a chair,
When in came his cat,
That had got but one ear.
Says Joan "I've come home, Puss,
Pray how do you do?"
The cat wagg'd her tail
And said nothing but "mew."
Jack Sprat took his gun,
And went to the brook;
He shot at the drake,
But he killed the duck.
He bought it home to Joan,
Who a fire did make,
To roast the fat duck
While Jack went for the drake.
The drake was swimming
With his curly tail,
Jack Sprat came to soot him,
But happened to fail.
He let off his gun,
But missing the mark,
The drake flew away
Crying "Quack, quack, quack."
Jack Sprat to live pretty
Now bought him a pig,
It was not very little,
It was not very big;
It was not very lean,
It was not very fat,
"It will serve for a grunter,"
Said little Jack Sprat.
Then Joan went to market
To buy her some fowls,
She bought a jackdaw
And a couple of owls;
The owls were white,
The jackdaw was black,
"They'll make a rare breed,"
Says little Joan Sprat.
Jack Sprat bought a cow,
His Joan to please,
For Joan could make
Both butter and cheese;
Or pancakes or puddings
Without any fat;
A notable housewife
Was little Joan Sprat.
Joan Sprat went to brewing
A barrel of ale,
She put in some hops
That it might not turn stale;
But as for the malt--
She forgot to put that;
"This is a brave sober liquor."
Said little Jack Sprat.
Jack Sprat went to market
And bought him a mare,
She was lame of three legs,
An as blind as she could stare.
Her ribs they were bare,
For the mare had no fat;
"She looks like a racer,"
Said little Jack Sprat.
Jack and Joan went abroad,
Puss looked after the house;
She caught a large rat,
And a very small mouse,
She caught a small mouse,
And a very large rat,
"You're an excellent hunter,"
Said little Jack Sprat.
Now I've told you the story
Of little Jack Sprat,
Of sweet Joan Cole
And the poor one-ear'd cat;
Now Jack he loved Joan,
And good things he taught her,
Then she gave him a son,
Then after a daughter.
Now Jack has got rich,
And has plenty of pelf;
If you know any more
you may tell it yourself.
[Illustration: Monkey Grabbing Man's Nose.]