The boy not only preys on my melon-patch and fruit trees, and upon
those of my neighbours, but he has an extraordinary aptitude for
creating a disturbance in whatever spot he happens to be. Only last
Sunday he caused such a terrible commotion in church that the
services had to be suspended for several minutes until he could be
removed. The interior of the edifice was painted and varnished
recently, and I suppose one of the workers must have left a clot of
varnish upon the back of Cooley's pew, which is directly across the
aisle from mine. Cooley's boy was the only representative of the
family at church upon that day, and he amused himself during the
earlier portions of the service by kneeling upon the seat and
communing with Dr. Jones' boy, who occupied the pew immediately in
the rear. Sometimes, when young Cooley would resume a proper
position, Jones's boy would stir him up afresh by slyly pulling his
hair, whereupon Cooley would wheel about and menace Jones with his
fist in a manner which betrayed utter indifference to the proprieties
of the place and the occasion, as well as the presence of the
congregation. When Cooley finally sank into a condition of repose, he
placed his head, most unfortunately, directly against the lump of
undried varnish, while he amused himself by reading the commandments
and the other scriptural texts upon the wall behind the pulpit.
In a few moments he attempted to move, but the varnish had mingled
with his hair, and it held him securely. After making one or two
desperate but ineffectual efforts to release himself, he became very
angry; and supposing that Jones's boy was holding him, he shouted:
"Leg go o' my hair! Leg go o' my hair, I tell you!"
The clergyman paused just as he was entering upon consideration of
"secondly," and the congregation looked around in amazement, in time
to perceive young Cooley, with his head against the back of the pew,
aiming dreadful blows over his shoulder with his fist at some unseen
person behind him. And with every thrust he exclaimed:
"I'll smash yer nose after church! I'll go for you, Bill Jones, when
I ketch you alone! Leg go o' my hair, I tell you, or I'll knock the
stuffin' out o' yer," etc, etc.
Meanwhile, Jones's boy sat up at the very end of his pew, far away
from Cooley, and looked as solemn as if the sermon had made a deep
impression upon him.