I remember, I remember,
When I was a little Boy,
One fine morning in September
Uncle brought me home a toy.
I remember how he patted
Both my cheeks in his kindliest mood;
"Then," said he, "you little Fat-head,
There's a top because you're good."
Grandmamma--a shrewd observer--
I remember gazed upon
My new top, and said with fervour,
"Oh! how kind of Uncle John."
While mamma, my form caressing--
In her eyes the tear-drop stood,
Read me this fine moral lesson,
"See what comes of being good."
I remember, I remember,
On a wet and windy day,
One cold morning in December,
I stole out and went to play.
I remember Billy Hawkins
Came, and with his pewter squirt
Squibbed my pantaloons and stockings
Till they were all over dirt.
To my mother for protection
I ran, quaking every limb;
She exclaim'd, with fond affection,
"Gracious goodness! look at him!"
Pa cried, when he saw my garment,
'Twas a newly purchased dress--
"Oh! you nasty little varment,
How came you in such a mess?"
Then he caught me by the collar,
--Cruel only to be kind--
And to my exceeding dolour,
Gave me--several slaps behind.
Grandmamma, while I yet smarted,
As she saw my evil plight,
Said--'twas rather stony-hearted--
"Little rascal! serve him right!"
I remember, I remember,
From that sad and solemn day,
Never more in dark December
Did I venture out to play.
And the moral which they taught, I
Well remember: thus they said--
"Little Boys, when they are naughty,
Must be whipp'd and sent to bed!"
[Page 35--Boy Land]