Progress of distemper on the re-landing of the regiment in
England—Change of quarters—Amusements—Colchester—An
eventful water party—The author obtains leave to join the
detachment proceeding to Portugal—A Review—A tale of
dental dislocation—Embarkation at Spithead—Landing in
Portugal—Incidents of an evening—Amusements at Lisbon, and
departure from that city.
The regiment soon re-landed in England, and marched to Colchester,
where a vast number of the men died, of ours as well as all the other
corps, thereby keeping the clergy in constant requisition to repeat the
funeral service over the rudely-shaped coffins of the dead soldiers.
Nearly the whole of the corps to which I belonged were laid up with
ague and fever, to such a degree, that those able to walk and the few
fit for duty were removed to Sudbury, for the benefit of change of air.
This proved very beneficial and restored the strength of those who had
not been very badly affected with the malady.
At the expiration of two months we were able to muster again about two
hundred, out of six, fit for duty. Those officers whose health was
sufficiently re-established frequented the balls at Bury St. Edmunds,
which were extremely well attended by the neighbouring families; added
to these, occasional jaunts and a few private parties made the time
pass pleasantly enough until we were ordered to Weeley Barracks, where
we spent a sombre winter, (with two other regiments) which passed
without any occurrence worth mentioning, except that of the garrison
being called out to fire a _feu de joie_ in celebration of George the
Third's having reigned over this country for fifty years.
In the spring we shifted our quarters to Colchester, being perfectly
sickened of our rustic amusements of shooting larks, skating, or pacing
up and down a solitary barrack-square of great extent, and surrounded
by a rich grass country, without any thing worthy the appellation of a
village for a considerable distance.
Soon afterwards myself and another officer went to Portsmouth to
receive volunteers. The officers of a regiment invited us to dine with
them at Gosport, and so plied us with peppered turkeys' legs, devilled
biscuits and port wine, that we were unable to beat a retreat until
two o'clock in the morning. On reaching the ferry, there was not a
boat to be seen; wherefore, from necessity, we were reduced to content
ourselves with a seat on some stone steps, and there to await the
rising sun, whose beams no sooner crimsoned the western hemisphere,
than we hailed the first morning ferry boat, and reached our lodging,
right glad to quaff a smoking cup of coffee in order to settle our
stomachs from the last night's debauch. In a few days we left the
rustic vicinity of Portsmouth, and reached the red-bricked town of
Colchester, where our time passed in such amusements as are usually
practised at a provincial quarter and are so well known to most of the
British army, who have had the honor of promenading up and down its
_pavé_.
One day a water party was talked of, and no sooner proposed than put
into execution. A boat was procured and rowers selected—the rest of
the party being armed with fowling pieces for the destruction of gulls
and carrion crows, or such other birds as might chance to cross us
during our acquatic excursion on the river Colne. The boat being put
in motion, after an hour's hard pull, the river became considerably
wider, the tide was on the ebb, the weather propitious, and so much
way made, that we resolved to obtain a glimpse of the sea, which soon
being accomplished, we pulled in shore, made good our landing, and
selected the most rural spot to partake of those viands prepared for
the occasion, which, being spread out on nature's green carpet, were
speedily devoured by eight hungry young officers, and every bottle
of wine and brown stout emptied to the very dregs. The party, full
of hilarity, then returned to their slender bark; but great was our
surprise to find it high and dry, the tide nearly out, and only a
narrow stream remaining of the spacious Colne water we had quitted a
few hours before. A launch being necessary, our jackets and caps were
hurled into the boat, and, by the most strenuous exertions, it was
shoved through the mud, and again afloat; then rapidly plying our oars,
we made some progress, notwithstanding that the tide was still running
out; when at length the water entirely failed, leaving us aground,
amid channel, with extensive banks of mud rising to a considerable
height on each side of us,—the sight of which afforded much mirth
at the idea of our having rowed during high tide over hill and dale;
so much for our geographical knowledge and nautical skill! While in
this plight, one of the party was in the act of divesting himself of
superfluous dress, and tying the articles into a bundle, pleading in
excuse that an appointment with a _fair damsel_ obliged him to land.
A noisy debate ensued amongst us: by way of intimidating him at the
same time, a threat was added, that should he attempt to desert, some
small shot should be discharged at him. While we were loading the guns,
he sprang from the bark and scrambled some yards, assailed by the
vociferations of the party; but, before he had reached the prescribed
distance, twenty yards, his situation became most alarming: every
succeeding step, he sank deeper into the mire; and he was now up to
his middle, calling out for help, forty yards from us, and one hundred
from the shore. To return was impossible,—the fowling pieces dropped
from our hands, as we watched his motions in fearful anxiety, every
instant expecting to see him disappear. Despair gave him strength and
perseverance: but he became a mass of mud, and his features were no
longer distinguishable. I can truly assert, that at no period of my
life did I ever feel stronger feelings of commiseration; a hundred
weight seemed at my chest. In this way he continued his exertions, and,
from time to time, while resting, it could scarcely be ascertained
whether he was not gone altogether, so identified was he with the
mud. Again he moved, and at the expiration of half an hour's toil, he
emerged from his miry bed, presenting the appearance of an alligator,
after a wallowing immersion, more than any thing else! As he reached
the shore, the most unbounded expressions of joy on our part hailed his
deliverance from his perilous situation. Then, spreading out his bundle
of garments in a very dirty state, he put them on, waved his hand, and
speedily vanished from our view—whilst we, less adventurous, or not
being so particularly engaged on that evening, were left shivering and
lightly clothed, until some time after dark, when we had sufficient
depth of water to enable us to steer our course. When at length in
motion, the wind being astern, the only cloak amongst us was hoisted
by way of a sail, but it was long after midnight before we reached the
place from whence we had started.
About this time (June 1, 1811), three hundred and twenty men of the
second battalion, with a proportionate number of officers, were ordered
to proceed to Portsmouth for embarkation to join the first battalion
in Portugal. On the morning of their departure the bugles sounded the
march. My mortification was extreme, for positively the last officer
was selected to accompany them, and two of my seniors stood by my side,
who of course had a prior claim to mine, and who could not succeed in
obtaining permission to go; so that all hope for me seemed now entirely
to vanish, and we were obliged to content ourselves by accompanying
them a short way on the road, until their first halt,—the merry notes
of the horns striking up "over the hills and far away," the signal for
wives to be torn from their husbands, children from their fathers,
friends from their companions,—many bidding a long and last farewell.
The detachment followed the broad path of their profession, while we,
through dire necessity, took that which led to peace and pasturage
amongst the Essex graziers; but no sooner had we reached our quiet
quarters, than another consultation took place, between Lieutenants
the Honourable Charles Gore, Wilkinson, and myself, wherein we pledged
ourselves, that the trio should not be separated for individual
interest, (and, as I was the junior officer, that point was of
consequence to me); then hastening to the house of the senior officer,
we assailed him _ensemble_ by entreaties and arguments, until, finding
we were bent on carrying our point, he consented to forward a memorial
to the Duke of York, penned by us, which he signed. That done, we ran
down to the post office, popped it into the box, and by return of post
a favourable answer was given. What a moment! Gore and myself rubbed
our hands and the little corporal Wilky (for that rank he had borne at
the Military College at Marlow, and still continued the title), fell
on his knees and returned thanks to Heaven, for his good fortune. Our
heavy baggage was crammed into the store, and ourselves, with light
hearts, that evening proceeded to London.
Notwithstanding the usual hurry and preparation when going on foreign
service, I managed to find my way to Wimbledon Common, where, I heard,
a grand review was to take place on the 10th of June of the household
cavalry, a brigade of hussars, commanded by Lord Paget, (now Marquis of
Anglesea), a brigade of the foot guards, a battalion of foot artillery,
wearing cross belts and white pouches, armed with muskets, and a
multitude of volunteers, besides a proportionable train of artillery.
When the Prince Regent rode down the line, I was much struck at the
Duke of York's preceding him, dismounting in front of the two regiments
of foot guards, and standing with his sword across his body, while his
royal brother passed. This was an excellent example of discipline, so
like the prince, the soldier, and the gentleman.
The next day, leaving the metropolis, we arrived at the place of
embarkation, and so managed as to meet the detachment about the same
distance from Portsmouth, that we had left them on the road from
Colchester; being not a little anxious to observe the astonishment
that our unexpected reappearance would create amongst them.
My friend instantly ran towards me and expressed the happiness he felt
at meeting me in such a way; and, almost in the same breath, said,
"Oh! we have had such fun this morning!" On leaving Chichester at the
break of day, the head of the column had been thrown into the greatest
confusion by the assistant surgeon; "Halt! halt!" cried he, "stop,
pray stop; you are trampling on my teeth," at the same moment throwing
himself on the ground, and groping in the dust for four artificial
teeth that had dropped from his mouth. The officers and soldiers were
confounded at his exclamations, while the wondering circle encompassed
him in mute expectation. At length, having put several questions,
to which they only obtained confused and unintelligible answers,
an officer ordered the men to proceed; and several voices, joining
in chorus, exclaimed:—"Why, he's mad; the doctor's intellects are
impaired;"—for they did not fully comprehend his real loss, owing
to his wild incoherent and extraordinary gesticulations—nor did he
overtake the party or make his reappearance until they had halted at
the half-way house, where he found them seated round a smoking tea urn,
hot muffins, toast, chickens, ham, and all those little delicacies
so tempting after an early walk to those possessing youth, health,
and _good grinders_. The woe-begone countenance of the doctor, on his
entering the room, caused a momentary commiseration; but no sooner did
he open his mouth, and display the vacant orifice, which no longer left
any doubt of the nature of the loss he had sustained, than bursts of
merriment, and noisy pity, were the only consolation the unlucky and
crest-fallen _medico_ received—who merely vented his wrath in broken
monosyllables, no longer daring to trust his mouth with a laugh.
The Monarch transport of three masts, and of considerable tonnage, was
lying at anchor at Spithead for our reception. Nearly the whole of us
being embarked, and the Blue Peter flying at the mast head on the 18th,
there was a sufficient warning to the few left on shore to hasten on
board. The sails being hoisted, and spreading their white bosoms to the
gale, we cut through the water, with a spanking breeze, cleared the
Needles, and, steering a prosperous course, in three days were brought
into the Bay of Biscay. The wind howled, the vessel heaved and cracked,
one instant on high, and the next moment hurried downwards as if about
to be ingulphed and buried in the mighty waters; the huge waves lashed
and beat against her sides with foaming violence, whilst every loose
article rattled about the cabin; the strife of pots and kettles being
only interrupted by the smashing of cups and saucers, and other brittle
utensils. During this combination of sounds I lay in my berth, with a
wash-hand basin betwixt my legs, ready at a moment's warning, and with
my eyes, half-closed, fixed on a solitary candle, sliding to and fro on
the table, and threatening to extinguish itself into one of the lower
berths. Thus stretched out, and sinking into a disturbed and feverish
slumber, I soon again awoke with my tongue parched, a horrible taste
in my mouth, and my lips glewed together, counting the tedious hours
of the coming morn, till I should be enabled to procure a refreshing
glass of water. At last the happy moment arrived, my trembling hand was
put forth to grasp the liquid stream—my mouth opened—but my nose gave
warning of that which smelt and tasted like the Harrowgate Spa, and was
any thing but _aqua pura_. The next evening I made an effort to gain
my sea legs, crept out of the cabin, mounted on the deck, and slipped
and staggered towards a poultry-coop, on which I sank in a reclining
position, to inhale the freshness of the air. The dark and broad clouds
flitted past, and at intervals veiled the moon, which seemed flying
away in the opposite direction, and smiling in derision at our clumsy
progress, (with double reefed topsails,) over the troubled waves.
Perpetual motion seemed at last accomplished, as the bows and stern of
the vessels rose alternately, and in rapid succession. In the morning
a thick haze hung over the atmosphere, through which we could discern
the outlines of the ponderous mountains of Spain, rising one above the
other, until their gloomy shadows were lost to view in the interior.
On the tenth morning, with a gentle breeze, and spotless sky, we glided
along the rugged coast of Portugal, and observed a number of barks
making towards us, decorated with white flapping sails, and filled with
swarthy raggamuffin pilots, who were hallooing, pulling, and hauling at
each other in a confused way, which gave the frail bark the appearance
of being about to overturn keel uppermost, and leave its brown visaged
cocked-hatted navigators floundering and splashing for their existence
in the briny waves of the dark blue ocean. Shortly afterwards we
entered the sparkling waters of the Tagus, skirted by purple-capt
mountains, curling vines, fragrant orange groves, and a white city,
reflected in its glassy waters, canopied by an azure sky, a golden sun,
and a genial atmosphere. We dropped our anchor within a short distance
of Lisbon.
The following day, the 28th, we landed, and the soldiers took up their
quarters at the Convento di Carmo. The interior of the city by no means
corresponds with the exterior, as viewed at a distance, owing to the
general narrowness of the streets that are choked up in some places
with heaps of filth, continually stirred up, and eagerly devoured by
packs of prowling and half-famished dogs.
Towards evening a small piece of paper was handed to myself and friend,
with the name of a Portuguese inserted, at whose house we were to be
quartered. Having made the necessary inquiries of a bragging native,
he pointed out to us the direction we ought to take, and also made
motions, by way of intimating to us our good fortune in having so
spacious an abode for our accommodation. Having traversed over a great
portion of the town, in search of our billet, we at length came to a
large gloomy-looking mansion, the door of which we found open, and
ascended a dirty stone stair case, where at each landing-place we found
ponderous doors: but it was in vain we kicked, thumped, and called; the
echo of our own voices was the only answer returned.
Night coming on, we again sallied forth into the streets, and, while
passing near a church, we met a procession following a deceased
nobleman for interment. Large wax tapers being offered to us, about
four feet long, and thick in proportion, we each grasped one, and
entered the church with others. The lid of the coffin being removed, we
beheld the pale corpse attired in a magnificent satin dress, and mantle
superbly embroidered with gold: the pantaloons were of white silk, and
full satin rosettes were attached to the velvet shoes. A full-dress
court sword lay by his side, and a black hat of velvet, with a nodding
plume of ostrich feathers, looped up with a brilliant stone, rested
at the head of the coffin. His costume, in short, was similar to that
worn by Don Juan on our own stage. The ceremony being concluded, a man
stepped forward with a basket filled with quick lime, which he threw
on the dead body in the presence of the spectators: that done, all the
by-standers instantly retired, and gave up their tapers to persons
waiting to receive them at the church door.
Much fatigued, we returned, and reached the cloisters of the convent,
in search of our servants and baggage. While we were debating on the
best method of securing a place of rest for the night, an athletic
figure came stalking towards us, enveloped in the garments of a friar,
having a fine dark countenance, and jet black hair cut short and shaved
on the crown of his head, about two inches in diameter. He demanded how
it was that we seemed wandering about at so late an hour of the night.
We briefly informed him of our situation, when he most courteously
invited us to follow him and led us through several passages and up
many flights of stairs to a couple of small bed rooms at the very top
of the convent; then retired for a short time, and re-appeared, loaded
with wine and sweetmeats. My friend had previously been in the country,
and therefore could make himself understood; and, as he was acting
quarter-master (at eighteen) for the detachment, he was glad of this
opportunity which now offered to be near the men, to enable him to
superintend the serving out of rations early on the following morning.
Our host proved to be the abbot, and after a short conversation he
wished us a sound repose to follow our sea voyage, and retired.
During our stay at Lisbon, we made a point of seeing the handsome
churches, the opera, the grand aqueduct and other curiosities. The
night previously to our quitting this place, the Consul gave a ball, to
which we were invited; and I was surprised to observe the Portuguese
gentlemen in coloured clothes, with pink and various-coloured silk
stockings. The costume of the ladies was gaudy, but their dresses were
ill made and worse put on. We only danced one set, and, some hours
having elapsed without any appearance of supper, (which was of serious
consideration to us, as we were ordered to be on the banks of the Tagus
the next morning at day light for the purpose of embarking in boats
for Villada, some distance up the river,) I explored a suite of rooms
at the extremity of which I espied on a sideboard a huge dish filled
with wafer cakes: but, not wishing to attack such a prize without an
ally, I hastened to my companion to communicate my good luck, who,
without further ado, assisted at their demolition. Although they
were the largest of the kind I had ever before seen, our young teeth
cracked them with an extraordinary rapidity; smash! smash! they went,
and two layers had now disappeared, when a Portuguese attendant out
of livery, observing such dreadful havoc, advanced to their rescue,
assuring us with solemn physiognomy that they were reserved for the
ladies. Hostilities ceased on their protector's consenting to procure
us a bottle of wine, two goblets of which we hastily swallowed, and
instantly sallied out into the odoriferous streets. "_Agua fresca,
agua fresca_" resounded from all quarters, while buckets of the most
nauseous contents fell with a splash from the upper stories of houses
into the space below—like the bursting of water spouts. "Conceal
yourself," cried my friend, "or you will be scented and sprinkled
all over." In this manner, running the gauntlet at every turning, we
proceeded until we reached the dark and narrow flight of stairs leading
to our heavenly apartments, where we had no sooner entered than I put
my foot on the body of a man, who lay stretched at full length across
the doorway. I hung back, and we regroping our way down into the court
yard, and alarming the guard, lights were procured: the rays of the
lamp fell on the face of my drunken snoring servant, encircled with
bottles—having emptied the contents into his own stomach. From the
effects of this he had scarcely recovered at the hour of our departure,
leaving me the agreeable task of packing up, and seeing my mule safe
off, as the baggage and animals were to cross the grand lines of Torres
Vedras, and meet us at the place of disembarkation.
Passing through the principal streets, we entered the boats for our
conveyance (after a stay of eleven days at Lisbon) and landed in the
evening at Villada.