TWO KNAVES QUARREL—THE STARTLING CONFESSION.
Sir Andrew rose and walked about the room like a maniac.
The unfortunate cat came in his path, and that he kicked through the
window, slammed the room door and was about to leave the house!
At that precise moment Phillip Redgill arrived, and there they stood
gazing at each other in the hall like two beasts of prey.
“What do _you_ want here, sir?” said old Sir Andrew, in a terrific
rage. “Get out of my house, you penniless scamp. Get out of my house,
you miserable intriguer! I curse the hour I ever saw you!”
“Sir!”
“Sir! Don’t ‘sir’ me, Mr. Redgill; this is no time for compliments,
sir, and you know it. I want you to pay me what you owe me, sir,
without any delay; the £15,000 which I have loaned you at different
times! I want it, sir, paid up immediately, sir, and I’m bound to
have it, too, or else——”
“Sir!” continued Phillip, astonished.
“Don’t stand there ‘siring’ me, Mr. Redgill; get out of my house this
instant. I loathe the very air you breathe, and wish I’d never laid
eyes on you.”
“Really, sir, and madam,” continued Phillip, addressing husband and
wife, for the latter, attracted by the noisy altercation, had arrived
upon the scene, “really I cannot understand what all this means. I
really——”
“You can’t, eh? Well, come here, sir,” continued old Sir Andrew,
entering the parlour again, and dancing about into every corner
of it; “you can’t, eh? Then read _that_, sir,” said he, throwing
down the letter, “read _that_, sir, and then get out of my house as
quickly as possible.”
“Lost?” gasped Phillip.
“Lost, aye, lost! So are _you_, and so am _I_, and so are _all_ of us
lost—down to the bottom, among the silks and teas.”
“This news, sir, is astounding!” said Phillip, looking very pale, and
biting his nails. “The Skeleton Crew did it, eh? This almost unmans
me, Sir Andrew.”
“_Does_ it? Well, then, sir, what must _I_ feel, who have to bear
nearly all the loss? You’ll oblige me, Phillip Redgill, by getting
that money of yours together—I’ll stand no more delays. And I’d thank
you never to set foot in my house again.”
“Really, Sir Andrew, your conduct is inexplicable! I came to see your
daughter, my——”
“You _did_, did you? Ha, ha! he, he! But let me tell you, sir, that
_before_ she should be _your_ wife, I would rather see her in——.”
“Sir Andrew, dear,” interrupted Lady McTurk, getting in between the
two angry gentlemen. “Husband, dear, be calm, I pray!”
“Go away, wife, I know what I’m saying well enough. And let me
tell you, sir, that I do not want the honour of your presence in
my premises any longer; I don’t allow penniless, good-for-nothing
vagabonds to prowl around _my_ house! Come to court my daughter, eh?
Ha, ha! Whoever heard of such a thing? What _next_, I wonder?”
“I do not come to _court_ your daughter, sir; I come to claim her as
my——”
“Capital! capital! To claim her as your——Ah, ah! capital! capital!
Who ever heard of such impudence in all their life?” said Sir Andrew,
dancing about like a half-crazed monkey. “Get out of my house, sir, I
tell you for the last time—get out, or I’ll kick you out!”
And acting up to his words, he was about to put his threat into
execution, when Fanny, his daughter, rushed upon the scene, blooming
in paints, crinoline, and flowers.
“Father, dear, hear me!” she said, falling on her knees between her
parent and Phillip. “Hear me, father, dear! Pity me! pardon him if
he has offended you! For _my_ sake, forgive—pardon my—my—_husband_!
Father, dear, I—am—his—_wife_!”
“His _what_?” gasped Sir Andrew, as if shot, looking first at his
daughter and then at Phillip. “His what, did you say?”
“His _wife_, father dear. Pardon me, I am his _wife_!”
Sir Andrew looked at Phillip for a moment with an eye full of
devilish meaning.
That young gentleman advanced a few steps, and said very coolly,
“Wife! Yes, Sir Andrew, my wife! If you doubt it, read that,” he
added, throwing down on the table the marriage certificate.
Sir Andrew glanced at it for a second with a quivering lip, then
sank upon the sofa, and groaned with the intense weight of agony
oppressing him.
Like dutiful children Phillip and his wife approached and knelt
before the astonished, half-petrified father, while the mother was in
hysterics in the back ground.
“You needn’t ask any blessing from me,” swore Sir Richard, rising,
and rudely shoving the couple from him. “Blessing! What next?
Daughter! you have made a fool of yourself; and, as for you, Phillip,
you have had my blessing already, and will continue to receive it
every day of your existence. As, of course, you did not marry for
money, and have plenty of your own, I should feel extremely obliged
if you’d pay all you owe me, Mr. Redgill, and take yourself and your
bride out of my house just as quickly as possible, for another meal
neither of you will ever eat under my roof. John, show this gentleman
to the door,” he added, putting on his hat, and rushing into the
street.