CHAPTER XVI.

When Philippus had parted from Paula he had told her that the Mukaukas

might indeed die at any moment, but that it was possible that he might

yet struggle with death for weeks to come. This hope had comforted her;

for she could not bear to think that the only true friend she had had in

Memphis, till she had become more intimate with the physician, should

quit the world forever without having heard her justification. Nothing

could be more unlikely than that any one in Neforis' household--excepting

her little grandchild should ever remember her with kindness; and she

scarcely desired it; but she rebelled against the idea of forfeiting the

respect she had earned, even in the governor's house. If her friend

should succeed in prolonging her uncle's life, by a confidential

interview with him she might win back his old affection and his good

opinion.

Her new home she felt was but a resting-place, a tabernacle in the

desert-journey of her solitary pilgrimage, and she here meant to avail

herself of the information she had gathered from her Melchite dependents.

Hope had now risen supreme in her heart over grief and disappointment.

Orion's presence alone hung like a threatening hail-cloud over the

sprouting harvest of her peace of mind. And yet, next to the necessity

of waiting at Memphis for the return of her messenger, nothing tied her

to the place so strongly as her interest in watching the future course of

his life, at any rate from a distance. What she felt for him-and she

told herself it was deep aversion-nevertheless constituted a large share

of her inner life, little as she would confess it to herself.

Her new hosts had received her as a welcome guest, and they certainly did

not seem to be poor. The house was spacious, and though it was old and

unpretentious it was comfortable and furnished with artistic taste. The

garden had amazed her by the care lavished on it; she had seen a hump-

backed gardener and several children at work in it. A strange party-for

every one of them, like their chief, was in some way deformed or

crippled.

The plot of ground--which extended towards the river to the road-way for

foot passengers, vehicles and the files of men towing the Nile-boats--was

but narrow, and bounded on either side by extensive premises. Not far

from the spot where it lay nearest to the river was the bridge of boats

connecting Memphis with the island of Rodah. To the right was the

magnificent residence--a palace indeed--belonging to Susannah; to the

left was an extensive grove, where tall palms, sycamores with spreading

foliage, and dense thickets of blue-green tamarisk trees cast their

shade. Above this bower of splendid shrubs and ancient trees rose a

long, yellow building crowned with a turret; and this too was not unknown

to her, for she had often heard it spoken of in her uncle's house, and

had even gone there now and then escorted by Perpetua. It was the

convent of St. Cecilia, the refuge of the last nuns of the orthodox creed

left in Memphis; for, though all the other sisterhoods of her confession

had long since been banished, these had been allowed to remain in their

old home, not only because they were famous sick-nurses, a distinction

common to all the Melchite orders, but even more because the decaying

municipality could not afford to sacrifice the large tax they annually

paid to it. This tax was the interest on a considerable capital

bequeathed to the convent by a certain wise predecessor of the Mukaukas',

with the prudent proviso, ratified under the imperial seal of Theodosius

II., that if the convent were at any time broken up, this endowment, with

the land and buildings which it likewise owed to the generosity of the

same benefactor, should become the property of the Christian emperor at

that time reigning.

Mukaukas George, notwithstanding his well-founded aversion for everything

Melchite, had taken good care not to press this useful Sisterhood too

hardly, or to deprive his impoverished capital of its revenues only to

throw them into the hands of the wealthy Moslems. The title-deed on

which the Sisters relied was good; and the governor, who was a good

lawyer as well as a just man, had not only left them unmolested, but in

spite of his fears--during the last few years--for his own safety, had

shown himself no respecter of persons by defending their rights firmly

and resolutely against the powerful patriarch of the Jacobite Church.

The Senate of the ancient capital naturally, approved his course, and had

not merely suffered the heretic Sisterhood to remain, but had helped and

encouraged it.

The Jacobite clergy of the city shut their eyes, and only opened them to

watch the convent at Easter-tide; for on the Saturday before Easter, the

nuns, in obedience to an agreement made before the Monophysite Schism,

were required to pay a tribute of embroidered vestments to the head of

the Christian Churches, with wine of the best vintages of Kochome near

the Pyramid of steps, and a considerable quantity of flowers and

confectionary. So the ancient coenobium of women was maintained, and

though all Egypt was by this time Jacobite or Moslem, and many of the

older Sisters had departed this life within the last year, no one had

thought of enquiring how it was that the number of the nuns remained

still the same, till the Jacobite archbishop Benjamin filled the

patriarchal throne of Alexandria in the place of the Melchite Cyrus.

To Benjamin the heretical Sisters at Memphis--the hawks in a dove-cote,

as he called them--were an offence, and he thought that the deed might

bear a new interpretation: that as there was no longer a Christian

emperor, and as the word "Christian" was used in the document, if the

convent were broken up the property should pass into the hands of the

only Christian magnate then existing in the country: himself, namely,

and his Church. The ill-feeling which the Patriarch fostered against the

Mukaukas had been aggravated to hostility by their antagonism on this

matter.

A musical dirge now fell on Paula's ear from the convent chapel. Was the

worthy Mother Superior dead? No, this lament must be for some other

death, for the strange skirling wail of the Egyptian women came up to her

corner window from the road, from the bridge, and from the boats on the

river. No Jacobite of Memphis would have dared to express her grief so

publicly for the death of a Melchite; and as the chorus of voices

swelled, the thought struck her with a chill that it must be her uncle

and friend who had closed his weary eyes in death.

It was with deep emotion and many tears that she perceived how sincerely

the death of this righteous man was bewailed by all his fellow-citizens.

Yes, he only, and no other Egyptian, could have called forth this great

and expressive regret. The wailing women in the road were daubing the

mud of the river on their foreheads and bosoms; men were standing in

large groups and beating their heads and breasts with passionate

gestures. On the bridge of boats the men would stop others, and from

thence, too, piercing shrieks came across to her.

At last Philippus came in and confirmed her fears. The governor's death

had shocked him no less than it did her, and he had to tell Paula all he

knew of the dead man's last hours.

"Still, one good thing has come out of this misery," he said. "There is

nothing so comforting as the discovery that we have been deceived in

thinking ill of a man and of his character. This Orion, who has sinned

so basely against himself and against you, is not utterly reprobate."

"Not?" interrupted Paula. "Then he has taken you in too!"

"Taken me in?" said the leech. "Hardly, I think. I have, alas! stood

by many a death-bed; for I am too often sent for when Death is already

beckoning the sick man away. I have met thousands of mourners in these

melancholy scenes, which, I can assure you, are the very best school for

training any one who desires to search the hearts of his fellow-

creatures. By the bed of death, or in the mart, where everything is a

question of Mine and Thine, it is easy to see how some--we for instance

--are as careful to hide from the world all that is great and noble in us

as others are to conceal what is petty and mean--we read men's hearts as

an open page. From my observations of the dying and of those who sorrow

for them, I, who am not Menander not Lucian, could draw a series of

portraits which should be as truthful likenesses as though the men had

turned themselves inside out before me."

"That a dying man should show himself as he really is I can well

believe," replied Paula. "He need have no further care for the opinions

of others; but the mourners? Why, custom requires them to assume an air

of grief and to shed tears."

"Very true; regret repeats itself by the side of the dead," replied the

physician. "But the chamber of the dying is like a church. Death

consecrates it, and the man who stands face to face with death often

drops the mask by which he cheats his fellows. There we may see faces

which you would shudder to look on, but others, too, which merely to see

is enough to make us regard the degenerate species to which we belong

with renewed respect."

"And you found such a comforting vision in Orion,--the thief, the false

witness, the corrupt judge!" exclaimed Paula, starting up in indignant

astonishment.

"There! you see," laughed Philippus. "Just like a woman! A little

juggling, and lo! what was only rose color is turned to purple. No.

The son of the Mukaukas has not yet undergone such a dazzling change of

hue; but he has a feeling and impressible heart--and I hold even that in

high esteem. I have no doubt that he loved his father deeply, nay

passionately; though I have ample reason to believe him capable of the

very worst. So long as I was present at the scene of death the father

and son were parting in all friendship and tenderness, and when the good

old man's heart had ceased to beat I found Orion in a state which is only

possible to have when love has lost what it held dearest."

"All acting!" Paula put in.

"But there was no audience, dear friend. Orion would not have got up

such a performance for his mother and little Mary."

"But he is a poet--and a highly-gifted one too. He sings beautiful songs

of his own invention to the lyre; his ecstatic and versatile mind works

him up into any frame of feeling; but his soul is perverted; it is soaked

in wickedness as a sponge drinks up water. He is a vessel full of

beautiful gifts, but he has forfeited all that was good and noble in him

--all!"

The words came in eager haste from her indignant lips. Her cheeks glowed

with her vehemence, and she thought she had won over the physician; but

he gravely shook his head, and said:

"Your righteous anger carries you too far. How often have you blamed me

for severity and suspicions but now I have to beg you to allow me to ask

your sympathy for an experience to which you would probably have raised

no objection the day before yesterday:

"I have met with evil-doers of every degree. Think, for instance, how

many cases of wilful poisoning I have had to investigate."

"Even Homer called Egypt the land of poison," exclaimed Paula. "And it

seems almost incredible that Christianity has not altered it in the

least. Kosmas, who had seen the whole earth, could nowhere find more

malice, deceit, hatred, and ill-will than exist here."

"Then you see in what good schools my experience of the wickedness of men

has ripened," said Philippus smiling, "and they have taught me chiefly

that there is never a criminal, a sinner, or a scapegrace, however

infamous he may be, however cruel or lost to virtue, in whom some good

quality or other may not be discovered.--Do you remember Nechebt, the

horrible woman who poisoned her two brothers and her own father? She was

captured scarcely three weeks ago; and that very monster in human form

could almost die of hunger and thirst for the sake of her rascally son,

who is a common soldier in the imperial army; at last she took to

concocting poisons, not to improve her own wretched condition, but to

send the shameless wretch means for a fresh debauch. I have known a

thousand similar cases, but I will only mention that of one of the

wildest and blood-thirstiest of robbers, who had evaded the vigilance

of the watch again and again, but at last fell into their hands--and how?

Because he had heard that his old mother was ill and he longed to see the

withered old woman once more and give her a kiss, since he was her own

child! In the same way Orion, however reprobate we may think him, has at

any rate one characteristic which we must approve of: a tender affection

for his father and mother. Your sponge is not utterly steeped in

wickedness; there are still some pores, some cells which resist it; and

if in him, as in so many others, the heart is one of them, then I say

hopefully, like Horace the Roman: 'Nil desperandum.' It would be unjust

to give him up altogether for lost."

To this assurance Paula found no answer; indeed, it struck her that--if

Orion had told her the truth--it was only to please his mother that he

had asked Katharina to marry him, while she herself occupied his heart.

--The physician, wishing to change the subject, was about to speak again

of the death of the Mukaukas, when one of the crippled serving girls came

to announce a woman who asked to speak with Paula. A few minutes later

she was clasped in the embrace of her faithful old friend and nurse, who

rejoiced as heartily, laughing and crying for sheer delight, as if no

tidings of misfortune had reached her; while Paula, though so much

younger, was cut to the heart, and could not shake off the spell of her

grief.

Perpetua understood this and owed her no grudge for the coolness with

which she met her joyful excitement.

She told Paula that she had been well treated in her hot cell, and that

about half an hour since Orion himself, the young Master now, had opened

the door of her prison. He had been very gracious to her, but looked so

pale and sad. The overbearing young man was quite altered; his eyes,

which were dim with weeping, had moved her, Perpetua, to tears. She

trusted that God would forgive him for his sins against herself and

Paula; he must have been possessed by some evil demon; he had not been at

all like himself; for he had a kind, warm heart, and though he had been

so hard and unjust yesterday to poor Hiram he had made it up to him the

first thing this morning, and had not only let him out of prison but had

sent him and his son home to Damascus with large gifts and two horses.

Nilus had told her this. He who hoped to be forgiven by his neighbor

must also be ready to forgive. The great Augustine, even, had been no

model of virtue in his youth and yet he had become a shining light in the

Church; and now the son of the Mukaukas would tread in his father's

footsteps. He was a handsome, engaging man, who would be the joy of

their hearts yet, they might be very sure. Why, he had been as grave and

as solemn as a bishop to-day; perhaps he had already turned over a new

leaf. He himself had put her into his mother's chariot and desired the

charioteer to drive her hither: what would Paula say to that? Her things

were to be given over to her to-morrow morning, and packed under her own

eyes, and sent after her. Nilus, the treasurer, had come with her to

deliver a message to Paula; but he had gone first to the convent.

Paula desired the old woman to go thither and fetch him; as soon as

Perpetua had left the room, she exclaimed:

"There, you see, is some one who is quite of your opinion. What

creatures we are! Last evening my good Betta would have thought no pit

of hell too deep for our enemy, and now? To be led to a chariot by such

a fine gentleman in person is no doubt flattering; and how quickly the

old body has forgotten all her grievances, how soothed and satisfied she

is by the gracious permission to pack her precious and cherished

possessions with her own hands.--You told me once that the Jacobites had

made a Saint Orion out of the pagan god Osiris, and my old Betta sees a

future Saint Augustine in the governor's son. I can see that she already

regards him as her tutelary patron, and when we get back to Syria, she

will be begging me to join her in a pilgrimage to his shrine!"

"And you will perhaps consent," replied the physician, to whom Paula at

this moment, for the first time since his heart had glowed with love for

her, did not seem to be quite what a man looks for in the woman he

adores. Hitherto he had seen and heard nothing that was not high-minded

and worthy of her; but her last words had, been spoken with vehement and

indignant irony--and in Philip's opinion irony, blame which was intended

to wound and not to improve its object, was unbecoming in a noble woman.

The scornful laugh, with which she had triumphantly ended her speech,

had opened as it were a wide abyss between his mind and hers. He, as he

freely confessed to himself, was of a coarser and humbler grain than

Paula, and he was apt to be satirical oftener than was right. She had

been wont to dislike this habit in him; he had been glad that she did; it

answered to the ideal he had formed of what the woman he loved should be.

But now she had turned satirical; and her irony was no jest of the lips.

It sprang, full of passion, from her agitated soul; this it was that

grieved the leech who knew human nature, and at the same time roused his

apprehensions. Paula read his disapproval in his face, and felt that

there was a deep significance in his words And you will perhaps consent."

"Men are vexed," thought she, "when, after they have decisively expressed

an opinion, we women dare unhesitatingly to assert a different one," so,

as she would on no account hurt the feelings of the friend to whom she

owed so much, she said kindly:

"I do not care to enquire into the meaning of your strange

prognostication. Thank God, by your kindness and care I have severed

every tie that could have bound me to my poor uncle's son!--Now we will

drop the subject; we have said too much about him already."

"That is quite my opinion," replied Philippus. "And, indeed, I would beg

you quite to forget my 'perhaps.' I live wholly in the present and am no

prophet; but I foresee, nevertheless, that Orion will make every effort,

cost what it may. . . ."

"Well?"

"To approach you again, to win your forgiveness, to touch your heart,

to......"

"Let him dare" exclaimed Paula lifting her hand with a threatening

gesture.

"And when he, gifted as he is in every way, has found his better self

again and can come forward purified and worthy of the approbation of the

best. . . ."

"Still I will never, never forget how he has sinned and what he brought

upon me!--Do you think that I have already forgotten your conversation

with Neforis? You ask nothing of your friends but honest feeling akin to

your own,--and what is it that repels me from Orion but feeling?

Thousands have altered their behavior, but--answer me frankly--surely not

what we mean by their feeling?"

"Yes, that too," said the leech with stern gravity. "Feeling, too, may

change. Or do you range yourself on the side of the Arab merchant and

his fellow-Moslems, who regard man as the plaything of a blind Fate?--

But our spiritual teachers tell us that the evil to which we are

predestined, which is that born into the world with us, may be averted,

turned and guided to good by what they call spiritual regeneration. But

who that lives in the tumult of the world can ever succeed in 'killing

himself' in their sense of the word, in dying while yet he lives, to be

born again, a new man? The penitent's garb does not suit the stature of

an Orion; however, there is for him another way of returning to the path

he has lost. Fortune has hitherto offered her spoilt favorite so much

pleasure, that sheer enjoyment has left him no time to think seriously on

life itself; now she is showing him its graver side, she is inviting him

to reflect; and if he only finds a friend to give him the counsel which

my father left in a letter for me, his only child, as a youth--and if he

is ready to listen, I regard him as saved."

"And that word of counsel--what is it?" asked Paula with interest.

"To put it briefly, it is this: Life is not a banquet spread by fate for

our enjoyment, but a duty which we are bound to fulfil to the best of our

power. Each one must test his nature and gifts, and the better he uses

them for the weal and benefit of the body of which he was born a member,

the higher will his inmost gladness be, the more certainly will he attain

to a beautiful peace of mind, the less terrors will Death have for him.

In the consciousness of having sown seed for eternity he will close his

eyes like a faithful steward at the end of each day, and of the last hour

vouchsafed to him on earth. If Orion recognizes this, if he submits to

accept the duties imposed on him by existence, if he devotes himself to

them now for the first time to the best of his powers, a day may come

when I shall look up to him with respect--nay, with admiration. The

shipwreck of which the Arab spoke has overtaken him. Let us see how he

will save himself from the waves, and behave when he is cast on shore."

"Let us see!" repeated Paula, "and wish that he may find such an

adviser! As you were speaking it struck me that it was my part.--But no,

no! He has placed himself beyond the pale of the compassion which I

might have felt even for an enemy after such a frightful blow. He! He

can and shall never be anything to me till the end of time. I have to

thank you for having found me this haven of rest. Help me now to keep

out everything that can intrude itself here to disturb my peace. If

Orion should ever dare, for whatever purpose, to force or steal a way

into this house, I trust to you, my friend and deliverer!"

She held out her hand to Philippus, and as he took it the blood seethed

in his veins with tender emotion.

"My strength, like my heart, is wholly yours!" he exclaimed ardently.

"Command them, and if the devoted love of a faithful, plain-spoken man--"

"Say no more, no, no!" Paula broke in with anxious vehemence. "Let us

remain closely bound together by friendship-as brother and sister."

"As brother and sister?" he dully echoed with a melancholy smile. "Aye,

friendship too is a beautiful, beautiful thing. But yet--let me speak--

I have dreamed of love, the tossing sea of passion; I have felt its

surges here--in here; I feel them still.... But man, man," and he struck

his forehead with his fist, "have you forgotten, like a fool, what your

image is in the mirror; have you forgotten that you are an ugly, clumsy

fellow, and that the gorgeous flower you long for. . . ."

Paula had shrunk back, startled by her friend's vehemence; but she now

went up to him, and taking his hand with frank spirit, she said

impressively:

"It is not so, Philippus, my dear, kind, only friend. The gorgeous

flower you desire I can no longer give you--or any one. It is mine no

longer; for when it had opened, once for all, cruel feet trod it down.

Do not abuse your mirrored image; do not call yourself a clumsy fellow.

The best and fairest might be proud of your love, just as you are.

Am I not proud, shall I not always be proud of your friendship?"

"Friendship, friendship!" he retorted, snatching away his hand.

"This burning, longing heart thirsts for other feelings! Oh, woman!

I know the wretch who has trodden down the flower of flowers in your

heart, and I, madman that I am, can sing his praises, can take his part;

and cost what it may, I will still do so as long as you.... But perhaps

the glorious flower may strike new roots in the soil of hatred and I, the

hapless wretch who water it, may see it."

At this, Paula again took both his hands, and exclaimed in deep and

painful agitation of mind:

"Say no more, I beg and entreat you. How can I live in peace here, under

your protection and in constant intercourse with you, without knowing

myself guilty of a breach of propriety such as the most sacred feelings

of a young girl bid her avoid, if you persist in overstepping the limits

which bound true and faithful friendship? I am a lonely girl and should

give myself up to despair, as lost, if I could not take refuge in the

belief that I can rely upon myself. Be satisfied with what I have to

offer you, my friend, and may God reward you! Let us both remain worthy

of the esteem which, thank Heaven! we are fully justified in feeling for

each other."

The physician, deeply moved, bent his head; scarcely able to control

himself, he pressed her firm white hand to his lips, while, just at this

moment, Perpetua and the treasurer came into the room.

This worthy official--a perfectly commonplace man, neither tall nor

short, neither old nor young, with a pale, anxious face, furrowed by work

and responsibility, but shrewd and finely cut-glanced keenly at the pair,

and then proceeded to lay a considerable sum in gold pieces before Paula.

His young master had sent it, in obedience to his deceased father's

wishes, for her immediate needs; the rest, the larger part of her

fortune, with a full account, would be given over to her after the

Mukaukas was buried. Nilus could, however, give her an approximate idea

of the sum, and it was so considerable that Paula could not believe her

ears. She now saw herself secure against external anxiety, nay, in such

ease that she was justified in living at some expense.

Philippus was present throughout the interview, and it cut him to the

heart. It had made him so happy to think that he was all in all to the

poor orphan, and could shelter her against pressing want. He had been

prepared to take upon himself the care of providing Paula with the home

she had found and everything she could need; and now, as it turned out,

his protege was not merely higher in rank than himself, but much richer.

He felt as though Orion's envoy had robbed him of the best joy in life.

After introducing Paula to her worthy host and his family, he quitted the

house of Rufinus with a very crushed aspect.

When night came Perpetua once more enjoyed the privilege of assisting her

young mistress to undress; but Paula could not sleep, and when she joined

her new friends next morning she told herself that here, if anywhere, was

the place where she might recover her lost peace, but that she must still

have a hard struggle and a long pilgrimage before she could achieve this.

ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:

In whom some good quality or other may not be discovered

Life is not a banquet

The Bride of the Nile — Volume 04 · 第 4 / 4 章