As you are many weeks my junior (to be precise, exactly two months),
I hasten to answer your letter. I have searched all my Biographical
Dictionaries, but cannot find the people of whom you are in search.
As for myself, I have never heard of _Bluebeard_, know nothing of _The
Sleeping Beauty_, and am sceptical of the existence of _Sindbad_ and
_Jack the Giant-Killer_. Like _Mrs. Prig_, who doubted the existence
of _Mrs. Harris_, "I don't believe there were no such persons." By
the way, you ought to read DICKENS. He is distinctly funny, and I can
quite understand his amusing our grandmothers. I generally turn to his
works after a long day with HOMER or EURIPIDES.
Your affectionate Cousin, ROSA.
* * * * *
"NE PLUS ULSTER."--Decidedly, Ulster can't go beyond "its last," or
rather, its latest, most utter utterances. So far, "words, words,
words;" but from words to blows there is a long interval, especially
when their supply of breath having been considerably exhausted, there
is not much to be feared from their "blows." However, so far, the men
with Ulsterior views have been patted on the back by the _Times_, and
"approbation from Sir HUBERT STANLEY is praise indeed." Yet, had the
meeting been of Nationalists! "But," as Mr. KIPLING's phrase goes,
"that is another story." For, from the _Times_ leader-writer's point
of view, "that in the Orangeman's but a choleric word which in the
Nationalist is rank blasphemy." However, the steam is let off through
the spout, and by the time the Nationalist's dream of Home Rule is
realised, all efforts to the contrary on The part of gallant little
Ulster will probably be "_Ulster vires_."
* * * * *
ADVICE GRATIS.--DEAFNESS. (To "EXPERIMENTALIST.")--Yours seems a
peculiar form of this painful complaint. We cannot understand why you
should feel "as if wind were always coming from your left ear." Try
blowing into the ear with the bellows three times a day. It may drive
the wind back. For the "fulness, throbbing, &c.," we should advise
ramming a good-sized darning-needle as far as it will go into the
orifice. After that--or even before--it might be best to consult a
competent medical man.
* * * * *
[Illustration: EARLY MISGIVINGS.
_Newly-Married M.P._ "BY JOVE, TEN O'CLOCK! I _MUST_ GO DOWN TO THE
HOUSE, IF ONLY TO FIND SOMEONE TO PAIR WITH."
_His Wife._ "OH, DARLING, I THOUGHT YOU AND I HAD PAIRED FOR LIFE!"]
* * * * *
"WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK;"