"Ready money of affection
Pay, whoever drew the bill."
CLOUGH.
"Put not your trust in brothers," said Di, coming in from a balcony
after the departure of the bride and bridegroom, and looking round the
crowded drawing-room, where the fictitious gaiety of a wedding was more
or less dismally stamped on every face. "I do believe Archie has
deserted me."
"I know he has," said her companion. "He told me half an hour ago that
he was going to bolt."
"Did he? The deceiver! He gave me a solemn promise that he would see me
home. I believe young men are the root of all evil. Don't pin your faith
to them, Lord Hemsworth, or you will live to rue it, like me."
"I won't."
"And why, pray, did not you mention the fact that he was going when I
was laboriously explaining all the presents to you, and exhausting
myself in pointing out watches in bracelets or concealed in the handles
of umbrellas, which you were quite unable to see for yourself? One good
turn deserves another. Ah! now the people are really beginning to go. Is
not that Lady Breakwater in the inner drawing-room? Poor woman--I mean,
happy mother! I will try and get near her to say good-bye. Look at her
smiling; I think I should know a wedding smile anywhere."
"No, you need not see me home," she added a few minutes later, as she
stood in the hall. "Have I not a hired brougham? One throws expense to
the winds on an occasion of this kind. There comes your hansom behind
it. What a lovely chestnut! How I do envy you it! The blessings of this
world are very unevenly distributed. Good-bye."
"I am going to see you home," said Lord Hemsworth, with decision. "It is
the duty of the best man to make himself generally useful to the chief
bridesmaid. I've read it in my little etiquette book; and, however
painful my duty may be made to me, I shall perform it."
"You have performed it thoroughly already. No, you are not coming in.
Don't shut the door on my gown, please. Thanks. Home, coachman."
"Are you going to the Speaker's to-night?" said Lord Hemsworth, with
his arms on the carriage-door, perfectly regardless of the string of
carriages behind him.
"I am."
"Good luck; so am I."
"That's not in the etiquette book," said Di, with mischief in her eyes.
"In the meantime you are stopping the whole procession. We have shaken
hands once already. Good-bye again."
* * * * *
Mrs. Courtenay was sitting in her armchair with her back to the light in
the long sunny drawing-room of her little house in Kensington, waiting
for the return of her granddaughter from the wedding to which at the
last moment she had been unable to escort her herself. Her headache was
better now, and she had taken up her work, the fine elaborate lace work
in imitation of an old design which she had copied in some Italian
church.
Mrs. Courtenay had been one of the four beautiful Miss Digbys of
Ebberstone about whom society had gone wild fifty years ago; and in her
old age she was beautiful still, with the dignified and gracious manner
of one who has been worshipped in her day. Her calm keen face bore the
marks of much suffering, but of suffering that had been outlived.
Perhaps next to the death of her husband, who had left her in her early
youth to struggle with life alone, the blow which she had felt most
keenly had been the clandestine and most miserable marriage of her only
daughter with Colonel Tempest; but it was all past now. People while
they are undergoing the strain of the ordinary ills that flesh is heir
to, the bitterness of inadequately returned love, the loss or alienation
of children, the grind of poverty or the hydra-headed wants of
insufficient wealth, are not as a rule pleasant or sympathetic
companions. The lessons of life are coming too quickly upon them to
allow of it. They are preoccupied. But _tout passe_. Mrs. Courtenay had
loved and had suffered, and had presented a brave front to the world,
and had known wealth, as she now knew poverty. The pain was past; the
experience remained; therein lay the secret of her power and her
popularity, for she had both. She seemed to have reached a little quiet
backwater in the river of life where the pressure of the current could
no longer reach her, would never reach her again. She sometimes said
that nothing could affect her very deeply now, except, perhaps, what
affected her granddaughter. But that was a large exception. Mrs.
Courtenay loved her granddaughter with some of the stern tender
affection which she had once lavished on her own daughter--which she
had buried in her grave. The elder Diana had taken two hearts down to
the grave with her--her mother's and Mr. Tempest's.
Mrs. Courtenay had that rarest gift--
"A heart at leisure from itself
To soothe and sympathize."
To that little house in Kensington many came, long before her beautiful
granddaughter was of an age to be its principal attraction, as she had
now become. Mrs. Courtenay's house had gained the magic name of being
agreeable, possibly because she made it so to one and all alike. None
but the pushing and the dictatorial were ever overlooked. Country
relations with the loud voices and the abusive political views peculiar
to rural life were her worst bugbears, but even they had a pleasing
suspicion that they had distinguished themselves in conversation, and
departed with the gratified feeling akin to that depicted on a plain
woman's face when she has come out well in a photograph.
In talking with the young Mrs. Courtenay remembered her own far-away
youth, its romantic passions, its watchful nights, its splendour of
sunrise illusions. She remembered, too, its great ignorance, and was
not, like so many elders, exasperated with the young for having omitted
to learn, before they came into the world, what they themselves only
learned by living half a century in it.
She had sympathy with old and young alike, but perhaps she felt most
deeply for those who were struggling in the meshes of middle age, no
longer interesting to others or even to themselves. Many came to Mrs.
Courtenay for comfort and sympathy in the servitude with hard labour of
middle age, and none came in vain.
Mrs. Courtenay lifted her calm clear eyes to the Louis Quatorze clock on
the old Venetian cabinet near her.
"Di is late," she said half aloud.
The low sun was thinking better of it, and was shining in through the
tracery of the bare branches of the trees outside. If there was ever a
ray of sunshine anywhere, it was in that little Kensington drawing-room.
The sun never forgot to seek it out, to come and have a look at the
little possessions which in spite of her narrow means Mrs. Courtenay had
gradually gathered round her. It came now, and touched the white _Capo
di Monte_ figures on the mantelpiece, and brought into momentary
prominence the inlaid ivory dolphins on the ebony cabinet; those
dolphins with curly tails which two Dianas had loved at the age when
permission to drive dolphins and sit on waves was not a final
impossibility though denied for the moment. It lighted up the groups of
Lowestoft china, and the tall Oriental jars which Mrs. Courtenay
suffered no one to dust but herself. The little bits of old silver and
enamel on the black polished table caught the light. So did the
daffodils in the green Vallauris tripod. They blazed against the
shadowed pictured wall. The quiet room was full of light.
Presently a carriage stopped at the door, the bell rang, and a moment
later a swift light step mounted the stair, and Di came in, tall and
radiant in her flowing white and yellow draperies, her bouquet of mimosa
in her hand.
She was beautiful, with the beauty that is recognized at once. Beauty is
so rare nowadays and prettiness so common, that the terms are often
confused and misapplied, and the most ordinary good looks usurp the
name of beauty. But between prettiness and beauty there is nevertheless
a great gulf fixed. No one had ever called Di a pretty girl. At one and
twenty she was a beautiful woman, with that nameless air of distinction
which can ennoble the plainest face and figure.
She had a right to beauty from both parents, and resembled both of them
to a certain degree. She had the tall splendid figure of the Tempests
with their fair skin and pale golden hair, waving back thick and
burnished from her low white forehead. But she had her mother's dark
unfathomable eyes with the long dark eyelashes, and her mother's
features with their inherent nobility and strength, which were so
entirely lacking in the Tempests--at least, in the present generation of
them. Some people, women mostly, said there was too much contrast
between her dark eyes and eyebrows and the extreme fairness of her
complexion and hair. Men, however, did not think so. They saw that she
was beautiful, and that was enough. Indeed, it was too much for some of
them. Women said, also, that her features were too large, that she was
on too large a scale altogether. No doubt that accounted for the fact
that she was seldom overlooked.
"Well, Granny, and how is the headache?" she asked gaily, pulling off
her long gloves and instantly beginning to unwire the mimosa in her
bouquet with rapid, capable white hands.
"Oh! the headache is gone," said Mrs. Courtenay, watching her
granddaughter. "And how did it all go off?"
"Perfectly," said Di, in her clear gay voice. "Madeleine looked
beautiful, and often as I have been bridesmaid I never stood behind a
bride with a better fitting back. I suppose the survival of the best
fitted is what we are coming to in these days. Anyhow, Madeleine
attained to it. It was a well done thing altogether. The altar one mass
of white peonies! White peonies at Easter! Sir Henry was the only red
one there. And eight of us all youth and innocence in white and amber to
bear her company. We bridesmaids were all waiting for her for some time
before she arrived or he either; but Lord Hemsworth marched him in at
last, just when I was beginning to hope he would not turn up. I have
seen him look worse, Granny. He did not look so very bald until he knelt
down, and I have known his nose redder. To a friend I dare say it only
looked like a blush that had lost its way. He is a stout man to outline
himself in a white waistcoat, but I thought on the whole he looked
well."
"Di," said Mrs. Courtenay, with her little inward laugh, "you should
not say such things."
"Oh yes, I can say anything I like to you," said Di. "Dear me, I am
sitting on my new amber sash! What extravagance! It will be long enough
before I have another. It was really good of Lady Breakwater to give me
the whole turn-out. We never could have afforded it."
"Did Madeleine look unhappy?"
"No; she was pale, but perfectly collected, and she walked quite firmly
to the chancel steps where the security for fifteen thousand a year and
two diamond tiaras and a pendant was awaiting her. The security looked a
little nervous."
"Di," said Mrs. Courtenay, with an effort after severity, "never again
let me hear you laugh at the man who once did you the honour to ask you
to marry him. You show great want of feeling."
Di's face changed. It became several degrees sterner than her
grandmother's. That peculiar concentrated light came into her soft
lovely eyes which is a life-long puzzle to those who can see only one
aspect of a character, and whose ideas are consequently thrown into the
wildest confusion by a change of expression. There was at times an
appearance of intensity of feeling about Di which sometimes gleamed up
into her eyes and gave a certain tremor to her low voice, that surprised
and almost frightened those who regarded her only as a charming but
somewhat eccentric woman. Di's best friends said they did not understand
her. The little foot-rule by which they measured others did not seem to
apply to her. She was grave or gay, cynical or tender, frivolous or
sympathetic, according to the mood of the hour, or according as her
quick intuition and sense of mischief showed her the exact opposite was
expected of her. But behind the various moods which naturally high
spirits led her into for the moment, keener eyes could see that there
was always something kept back--something not suffered to be discussed
and commented on by the crowd--namely, herself. Her frank, cordial
manner might deceive the many, but others who knew her better were
conscious of a great reserve--of a barrier beyond which they might not
pass; of locked rooms in that sunny, hospitable house into which no one
was invited, into which she had, perhaps, as yet rarely penetrated
herself.
Mrs. Courtenay possibly understood her better than any one, but Di took
her by surprise now. She laid down her flowers and came and stood before
her grandmother.
"Do I show want of feeling?" she said, in her low, even voice. "I know I
have none for that man; but why should I have any? If he wanted to
marry me, why did he want it? He knew I did not like him--I made that
sufficiently plain. Did he care one single straw for anything about me
except my looks? If he had liked me ever so little, it would have been
different; but why am I to be grateful because he wanted me to sit at
the head of his table, and wear his diamonds?"
"You talk as young and silly girls with romantic ideas do talk," replied
Mrs. Courtenay, piqued into making assertions exactly contrary to her
real opinions. "I fancied you had more sense! Madeleine did a wise thing
in accepting him. She has made a very prudent marriage."
"Yes," said Di, moving slowly away and sitting down by the window--"that
is just it. I wonder if there is anything in the whole wide world so
recklessly imprudent as a prudent marriage? But what am I talking
about?" she added, lightly. "It is not a marriage; it is merely a social
contract. I can't see why they went to church myself, or what the
peonies and that nice little newly-ironed Bishop were for. They were
quite unnecessary. A register-office and a clerk would have done just as
well, and have been more in keeping. But how silly it is of me to be
wasting my time in holding forth when your cap is not even trimmed for
this evening. The price of a virtuous woman is above rubies nowadays.
Nothing but diamonds and settlements will secure a first-rate article.
And now, to come back to more serious subjects, will you wear your
diamond stars, G"--("G" was the irreverent pet name by which Di
sometimes called her grandmother)--"or shall I fasten that little
marabou feather with your pearl clasp into the point-lace cap? It wants
something at the side."
"I think I will wear the diamonds," said Mrs. Courtenay, thoughtfully.
"People are beginning to wear their jewels again now. Only sew them in
firmly, Di."
"You should have seen the array of jewellery to-day," said Di, still in
the same tone, arranging the mimosa in clusters about the room. "Other
people's diamonds seem to take all the starch out of me. A kind of
limpness comes over me when I look at tiaras. And there was such a
_rivière_ and pendant! And a little hansom cab and horse in diamonds as
a brooch. I should like to be tempted by a brooch like that. Sir Henry
has his good points, after all. I see it now that it is too late. And
why do people sprinkle themselves all over with watches nowadays,
Granny, in unexpected places? Lord Hemsworth counted five--was it, or
six?--set in different presents. There were two, I think, in bracelets,
one in a fan, and one in the handle of an umbrella. What can be the use
of a watch in the handle of an umbrella? Then there was a very little
one in--what was it?--a paper-knife, set round with large diamonds. It
made me feel quite unwell to look at it when I thought how what had been
spent on that silly thing would have dressed you and me, Granny, for a
year. That reminds me--I shall tear off this amber sash and put it on my
white _miroitant_ dinner-gown. You must not give me any more white
gowns; they are done for directly."
"I like to see you in white."
"Oh! so do I--just as much as I like to see you, Granny, in brocade; but
it can't be done. I won't have you spending so much on me. If I am a
pauper, I don't mind looking like one."
She looked very unlike one as she gathered up her gloves and lace
handkerchief and bouquet holder, and left the room. And yet they were
very poor. No one knew on how small a number of hundreds that little
home was kept together, how narrow was the margin which allowed of those
occasional little dinner-parties of eight to which people were so glad
to come. Who was likely to divine that the two black satin chairs had
been covered by Di's strong hands--that the pale Oriental coverings on
the settees and sofas that harmonized so well with the subdued colouring
of the room were the result of her powers of upholstery--that it was Di
who mounted boldly on high steps and painted her own room and her
grandmother's an elegant pink distemper, inciting the servants to go and
do likewise for themselves?
It was easy to see they were poor, but it was generally supposed that
they had the species of limited means which wealth is so often kind
enough to envy, with its old formula that the truly rich are those who
have nothing to keep up. This is true if the narrow means have not
caused the wants to become so circumscribed that nothing further remains
that can _be put down_. The rich, one would imagine, are those who,
whatever their income may be, have it in their power to put down an
unnecessary expense. But probably all expenses are essentially necessary
to the wealthy.
Mrs. Courtenay and her granddaughter lived very quietly, and went
without effort, and, indeed, as a matter of course, into that society
which is labelled, whether rightly or wrongly, as "good."
Persons of narrow means too often slip out of the class to which they
naturally belong, because they can give nothing in return for what they
receive. They may have a thousand virtues, and be far superior in their
domestic relations to those who forget them, but they _are_ forgotten,
all the same. Society is rigorous, and gives nothing for nothing.
But others there are whose poverty makes no difference to them, who are
welcomed with cordiality, and have reserved seats everywhere because,
though they cannot pay in kind, they have other means at their disposal.
Their very presence is an overpayment. Every one who goes into society
must, in some form or other, as Mrs. Lynn Linton expresses it, "pay
their shot." All the doors were open to Mrs. Courtenay and her
granddaughter, not because they were handsomer than other people, not
because they belonged by birth to "good" society, and were only to be
seen at the "best" houses, but because, wherever they went, they were
felt to be an acquisition, and one not invariably to be obtained.
Madeleine had been glad to book Di at once as one of her bridesmaids.
Indeed, she had long professed a great affection for the younger girl,
with whom she had nothing in common, but whose beauty rendered it
probable that she might eventually make a brilliant match.
As the bridesmaid sat down rather wearily in her own room,
and unfastened the diamond monogram brooch--"the gift of the
bridegroom"--the tears that had been in her heart all day came into her
eyes; Di's slow, difficult tears.
What a mass of illusions are torn from us by the first applauded
mercenary marriage that comes very near to us in our youth! Death, when
he draws nigh for the first time, at least leaves us our illusions; but
this voluntary death in life, from which there is no resurrection,
filled Di's soul with loathing compassion. She bowed her fair head on
her hands and wept over the girl who had never been her friend, but
whose fate might at one time have been her own.