Hadrian had expected Antinous many hours since, and the impatience and
vexation which had been long seething in him were reflected plainly
enough in his sternly-bent brow and the threatening fire of his eye.
"Where have you been?" he imperiously asked.
"I could not find you, so I took a boat and went out on the lake."
"That is false."
Antinous did not answer, but merely shrugged his shoulders.
"Alone?" asked the Emperor more gently. "Alone."
"And for what purpose?"
"I was gazing at the stars."
"You!"
"And may I not, for once, tread in your footsteps?"
"Why not indeed? The lights of heaven shine for the foolish as well as
for the wise. Even asses must be born under a good or an evil star. One
donkey serves a hungry grammarian and feeds on used-up papyrus, while
another enters the service of Caesar and is fattened up, and finds time
to go star-gazing at night. What a state you are in."
"The boat upset and I fell into the water." Hadrian was startled, and
observing his favorite's tangled hair in which the night wind had dried
the salt water, and his torn chiton, he anxiously exclaimed:
"Go this instant and let Mastor dry you and anoint you. He too came back
with a bruised hand and red eyes. Everything is upside clown this
accursed evening. You look like a slave that has been hunted by clogs.
Drink a few cups of wine and then lie down."
"I obey your orders, great Caesar."
"So formal? The donkey simile vexed you."
"You used always to have a kind word for me."
"Yes, yes, and I shall have them again, I shall have them again. Only
not to-night--go to bed."
Antinous left him, but the Emperor paced his room, up and down with long
steps, his arms crossed over his breast and his eyes fixed on the ground.
His superstitious soul had been deeply disturbed by a series of evil
signs which he had not only seen the previous night in the sky, but had
also met on his way to Lochias, and which seemed to be beginning to be
fulfilled already.
He had left the eating house in an evil humor, the bad omens made him
anxious, and though on his arrival at home he had done one or two things
which he already regretted, this had certainly not been due to any
adverse Daimons but to the brooding gloom of his clouded mind. Eternal
circumstances, it is true, had led to his being witness to an attack made
by the mob on the house of a wealthy Israelite, and it was attributable
to a vexatious accident that at this juncture, he should have met Verus,
who had observed and recognized him. Yes, the Spirits of evil were
abroad this day, but his subsequent experiences and deeds upon reaching
Lochias, would certainly not have taken place on any more fortunate day,
or, to be more exact, if he had been in a calmer frame of mind; he
himself alone was in fault, he alone, and no spiteful accident, nor
malicious and tricky Daimon. Hadrian, to be sure, attributed to these
sprites all that he had done, and so considered it irremediable; an
excellent way, no doubt, of exonerating oneself from a burdensome duty,
or from repairing some injustice, but conscience is a register in which a
mysterious hand inexorably enters every one of our deeds, and in which
all that we do is ruthlessly called by its true name. We often succeed,
it is true, in effacing the record for a longer or a shorter period, but
often, again, the letters on the page shine with an uncanny light, and
force the inward eye to see them and to heed them.
On this particular night Hadrian felt himself compelled to read the
catalogue of his actions and among them he found many a sanguinary crime,
many a petty action unworthy of a far meaner soul than he; still the
record commemorated many duties strictly fulfilled, much honest work, an
unceasing struggle towards high aims, and an unwearied effort to feel his
way intellectually, to the most remote and exalted limits possible to the
human mind and comprehension.
In this hour Hadrian thought of none but his evil deeds, and vowed to the
gods--whom he mocked at with his philosophical friends, and to whom he
nevertheless addressed himself whenever he felt the insufficiency of his
own strength and means--to build a temple here, to offer a sacrifice
there, in order to expiate old crimes and divert their malice. He felt
like a great man must who is threatened with the disfavor of his
superiors, and who hopes to propitiate them with gifts. The haughty
Roman quailed at the thought of unknown dangers, but he was far from
feeling the wholesome pangs of repentance.
Hardly an hour since he had forgotten himself and had disgracefully
abused his power over a weaker creature, and now he was vexed at having
behaved so and not otherwise; but it never entered his head to humiliate
his pride or, by offering some compensation to the offended party,
tacitly to confess the injustice he had committed. Often he deeply felt
his human weakness, but he was quite capable of believing in the
sacredness of his imperial person, and this he always found most easy
when he had trodden under foot some one who had been rash enough to
insult him, or not to acknowledge his superiority. And was it not on the
contemners of the gods that their heaviest punishments fell?
To-day the terrestrial Jupiter had again crushed into the earth with his
thunderbolts, an overbold mortal, and this time the son of the worthy
gate-keeper was his victim. The sculptor certainly had been so unlucky
as to touch Hadrian in his most sensitive spot, but a cordially
benevolent feeling is not easily converted into a relentless opposition
if we are not ourselves--as was the case with the Emperor--accustomed to
jump from one mood to the other, are not conscious--as he was--of having
it in our power directly to express our good-will or our aversion in
action.
The sculptor's capacities had commanded the Emperor's esteem, his
fresh and independent nature had at first suited and attracted him,
but even during the walk together through the streets, the young man's
uncompromising manner of treating him as an equal had become unpleasing
to him. In his workshop he saw in Pollux only the artist, and delighted
in his original and dashing powers; but out of it, and among men of a
commoner stamp, from whom he was accustomed to meet with deference, the
young man's speech and demeanor seemed unbecoming, bold, and hard to be
endured. In the eating-house the huge eater and drinker, who laughingly
pressed him to do his part, so as not to make a present to the landlord,
had filled Hadrian with repulsion. And after this, when Hadrian had
returned to Lochias, out of humor and rendered apprehensive by evil
omens, and even then had not found his favorite, he impatiently paced up
and down the hall of the Muses and would not deign to offer a greeting to
the sculptor, who was noisily occupied behind his screens.
Pollux had passed quite as bad an evening as the Emperor. When, in his
desire to see Arsinoe once more, he penetrated to the door of the
steward's apartment, Keraunus had stopped his way, and sent him about his
business with insulting words. In the hall of the Muses he had met his
master, and had had a quarrel with him, for Papias, to whom he repeated
his notice to quit, had grown angry, and had desired him then and there
to sort out his own tools, and to return those that belonged to him, his
master, and for the future to keep himself as far as possible from
Papias' house, and from the works in progress at Locluas. On this, hard
words had passed on both sides, and when Papias had left the palace and
Pollux went to seek Pontius the architect, in order to discuss his future
plans with him, he learnt that he too had quitted Lochias a short time
before, and would not return till the following morning.
After brief reflection he determined to obey the orders of Papias and
to pack his own tools together. Without paying any heed to Hadrian's
presence he began to toss some of the hammers, chisels, and wooden
modelling tools into one box, and others into another, doing it as
recklessly as though he were minded to punish the unconscious tools as
adverse creatures who had turned against him.
At last his eye fell on Hadrian's bust of Balbilla. The hideous
caricature at which he had laughed only yesterday, made him angry now,
and after gazing at it thoughtfully for a few minutes his blood boiled up
furiously, he hastily pulled a lath out of the partition and struck at
the monstrosity with such fury that the dry clay flew in pieces, and the
fragments were strewed far and wide about the workshop. The wild noise
behind the sculptor's screen made the Emperor pause in his walk to see
what the artist was doing; he looked on at the work of destruction,
unobserved by Pollux, and as he looked the blood mounted to his head; he
knit his brows in anger, a blue vein in his forehead swelled and stood
out, and ominous lines appeared above his brow. The great master of
state-craft could more easily have borne to hear himself condemned as a
ruler than to see his work of art despised. A man who is sure of having
done some thing great can smile at blame, but he, who is not confident in
himself has reason to dread it, and is easily drawn into hating the
critic who utters it. Hadrian was trembling with fury, he doubled his
first as he lifted it in Pollux's face, and going close up to him asked
in a threatening tone:
"What do you mean by that?"
The sculptor glanced round at the Emperor and answered, raising his stick
for another blow:
"I am demolishing this caricature for it enrages me."
"Come here," shouted Hadrian, and clutching the girdle which confined the
artist's chiton, in his strong sinewy hand, he dragged the startled
sculptor in front of his Urania wrenched the lath out of his hand, struck
the bust of the scarcely-finished statue off the body, exclaiming as he
did so, in a voice that mimicked Pollux:
"I am demolishing this bungler's work for it enrages me!"
The artist's arms fell by his side; astonished and infuriated he stared
at the destroyer of his handiwork, and cried out:
"Madman! this is enough. One blow more and you will feel the weight of
my fists."
Hadrian laughed aloud, a cold hard laugh, flung the lath at Pollux's feet
and said:
"Judgment against judgment--it is only fair."
"Fair?" shrieked Pollux, beside himself.
"Your wretched rubbish, which my squinting apprentice could have done as
well as you, and this figure born in a moment of inspiration! Shame upon
you! Once more, if you touch the Urania again I warn you, you shall
learn--"
"Well, what?"
"That in Alexandria grey hairs are only respected so long as they deserve
it."
Hadrian folded his arms, stepped quite close up to Pollux, and said:
"Gently, fellow, if you value your life."
Pollux stepped back before the imposing personage that stood before him,
and, as it were scales, fell from his eyes. The marble statue of the
Emperor in the Caesareum represented the sovereign in this same attitude.
The architect, Claudius Venator, was none other than Hadrian.
The young artist turned pale and said with bowed head, and in low voice
as he turned to go:
"Right is always on the side of the strongest. Let me go. I am nothing
but a poor artist--you are some thing very different. I know you now;
you are Caesar."
"I am Caesar," snarled Hadrian, "and if you think more of yourself as an
artist than of me, I will show you which of us two is the sparrow, and
which the eagle."
"You have the power to destroy, and I only desire--"
"The only person here who has a right to desire is myself," cried the
Emperor, "and I desire that you shall never enter this palace again, nor
ever come within sight of me so long as I remain here. What to do with
your kith and kin I will consider. Not another word! Away with you, I
say, and thank the gods that I judge the misdeed of a miserable boy more
mercifully than you dared to do in judging the work of a greater man than
yourself, though you knew that he had done it in an idle hour with a few
hasty touches. Be off, fellow; my slaves will finish destroying your
image there, for it deserves no better fate, and because--what was it you
said just now? I remember--and because it enrages me."
A bitter laugh rang after the lad as he quitted the hall. At the
entrance, which was perfectly dark, he found his master, Papias, who had
not missed a word of what had passed between him and the Emperor. As
Pollux went into his mother's house he cried out:
"Oh mother, mother, what a morning, and what an evening. Happiness is
only the threshold to misery."
ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:
Happiness is only the threshold to misery
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